I am back with another long ass chapter !!

WARNING: this chapter contains rape, but it's in a dream so that part will appear in italics and if you're uncomfortable please don't read!

I didn't remove the brackets to mark that the chapter has sexual content because it's mild and isn't very graphic.

Please read the A/N at the end xx

Hope you enjoy this chapter nonetheless <3

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✧ Do I wanna know?

If this feeling flows both ways? ✧

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Harry didn't protest, simply climbing into the seat next to the driver's one as carefully as possible due to his large body. Adriana climbed into his Porsche, breathing in at how beautiful it was and the feeling she got from even sitting in a luxurious car like his. Harry pulled the sleeves of his hoodie over his hands as he relaxed into his seat with another yawn. He told her to use the navigation system in the car to drive to his house since his address was already typed into it, and because he was too sleepy to direct her.

   "I'm sorry, Adriana," Harry spoke up after a few minutes of silence, surprising her a little because she thought he had fallen asleep again. "I really am, I'm sorry I assumed you were like those stereotypical strippers and believed what Morgan said. I'm so sor-"

   "Harry," she couldn't help but chuckle. "It's okay, I forgive you."

   "Everyone's been trying to manipulate me into thinking you're like other strippers," Harry said without thinking, making her frown a little.

   "What do you mean?"

   "Like my friends Niall and stuff. They kind of say similar things to what Morgan said, that you'd do anything for money," he told her hesitantly.

   "They're right, sort of," she said with a sigh, halting the car at a traffic signal.

   "Yeah but they think you're a...slut," Harry muttered lowly. "I hate that word."

   "Me too," Adriana agreed with a chuckle. "I get called it probably every single night."

   "That's horrible," Harry gaped, while Adriana laughed lightly.

   "I'm used to it," she said. "The men who come to the club are assholes, I've barely seen any gentlemen or just guys who're nice. Guys like you, Harry, are extremely rare."

  Harry didn't respond to her words, remembering what Morgan had said when he defended her. Wow, aren't you just every woman's man goals? Respectful and rich, preppy and shit. He then recalled the whole conversation and felt his blood boil with anger. He hated that men like Morgan existed. Disrespectful and rude men who think it's alright to degrade women based on their job and how sexually active they were.

   "Your performance was amazing," he murmured quietly after a few seconds of silence. "I'm sorry I didn't applaud."

   "Thank you, Harry," Adriana said sincerely, smiling lightly at his last few words. "It's fine, I figured Morgan said something to piss you off."

   "Yeah," Harry mumbled back. "How did you learn to dance like that?"

   "I did ballet for a couple of years, attended a school and worked in a company as well," she explained briefly, making his eyes widen and a smile etch upon his lips. "Then I learnt a bit of pole dancing from a friend."

   "That's sick!" Harry exclaimed quietly in awe. "Why don't you work at the ballet company anymore?"

   "Long story," she murmured with a sigh, making his expression fall.

   "Will you tell me at some point?" he questioned, making her direct her gaze at him, noticing his hopeful eyes. If she told him about why she didn't work at the ballet company anymore, it would mean she was opening up to him about her life, which he wanted but she didn't.

   "Harry-" she began to say with a sigh.

   "Look, I know you said you're 'bad' for me, and that you'll corrupt me if we ever took this further. But, can't we just try?" he questioned, making Adriana bite her lower lip at his words. "Like, there's no harm in trying, right?"

   "I mean, I dunno, I keep getting mixed signals. When we're together, it feels like you're into me and I'm into you and obviously that's got me feeling for you. Do you feel the same way?" he asked her bluntly, making her swallow thickly. "I can tell you're uncomfortable with talking about this, but I need to know Adriana. I need to know if this goes both ways, if you're feeling what I'm feeling."

   "I think I'm in denial with it," she answered honestly, before explaining how she felt with a sigh. "I feel for you too, Harry. You're the only man who hasn't made me feel like I'm worthless and I'm just a sex toy. You're the only man who's treated me with so much kindness and care. It's pretty hard not to feel for you, babe."

   "Then why don't you want to take this further?" he whispered quietly, looking at his lap where he was fiddling fingers. Adriana exhaled quietly, realizing how stubborn Harry was while she bit her lip and contemplated.

   "I have so much going on with my life, Harry. I don't have time for relationships," she told him simply, keeping her eyes on the road as they neared his location.

  Harry felt his heart sink in his chest at her words, getting the hint that she really didn't want to be with him. But what he didn't know was that she did want to be with him, it was just that there were many hazards that would've been in their way if they were to go into a proper relationship. There was the threat by Donnie that lingered in her head throughout the whole conversation. She was way too worried the threat would become reality and Harry would get physically hurt. She was also worried he would get emotionally hurt because of how stressful and painful it is for anyone to be closely associated with a drug addict. She didn't want to put Harry through any of that. 

   "Okay," he murmured ever so quietly, his tone incredibly sad and it made Adriana's heart tighten in her chest.

  Soon enough, Adriana pulled up in front of a large black gate with a simple, minimalist design. Harry pulled the window down and waved at the security guard by the gate who waved back, opening the gate right away. Adriana felt her jaw slacken as she drove further into the enclosure, dark eyes widening as they gazed over Harry's mansion. It was very modern, which was one way to describe it.

  A series of rectangles constructed of steel and glass, windows as big as walls with an overall dark gray and white color scheme. Harry directed Adriana to drive towards the side of the house where he rolled down the window and thrusted his hand out, slamming his palm down on a touchpad.

  Adriana watched with slightly wide eyes as the ground dipped and revealed some sort of secret tunnel that curved downwards underground. He has a fucking underground garage, she thought to herself in awe as she slowly drove down, watching the lights flicker on. He's so fucking rich it's orgasmic, she continued to think as her jaw dropped when the cavernous garage came into sight, along with the two rows of luxury cars.

   "Oh my god," she murmured under her breath in awe as she drove around, locating the space Harry had told her to park in. "How many cars do you have?"

   "Like, seven or eight? I dunno I have a couple more at my parents' place," Harry mumbled.

  He then let out a loud yawn beside her as she turned off the engine. Adriana's dark eyes gazed around as her and Harry walked towards the entrance. Harry hung the keys on the hook before he led Adriana up the stairs that was connected to his living room. Adriana found herself in awe repeatedly throughout the entire night as she followed Harry around his house. It was enormous, and utterly beautiful. There were three stories and they were currently climbing up the staircase to the first floor as Harry spoke up to break the silence that had settled over them.

   "You should stay over since it's way too late to go back," he told her, making her part her lips before snapping them shut and nodding in response.

  She was going to argue since it didn't make sense after all they talked about, not taking what they had further and everything, they were going to sleep together. But she didn't have the strength to argue since she was too tired to do so and she had no way of going back home. She managed to text her neighbor, Jazmín- that she was out just as Harry and her arrived at his bedroom door.

  His room followed a gray and black scheme, very simple and minimalistic. He gestured for her to follow him further into the room, stopping by his walk-in closet where Adriana found herself stunned again at the rooms of suits ranging from different colors and patterns, as well as expensive shoes and so much more. Harry came back from the other side of the closet with a t-shirt and shorts in his hands, mumbling shyly about how he couldn't really find anything else for her to wear. She accepted his clothes with a smile, telling him that it was okay.

  Adriana used his bathroom as he stripped down to his boxers in his closet, wondering if he should wear a t-shirt on for decency but then remembering that she has literally seen him naked so many times. A sigh escaped his lips as he felt that familiar sadness seep into his heart when he remembered their conversation from during the car ride. He wondered what exactly was it that was going on in her life that stopped her from wanting to engage in any relationships. He thought about the possibility of her having to work a lot to earn money, wishing that he could just help her.

  Harry was pulled away from his thoughts when he heard the bathroom door open, Adriana stepping out into his line of vision in just his favorite white Rolling Stones t-shirt that reached her thighs midway. She set down her own folded clothes by the side and raised her hands to run her fingers through her long dark locks while Harry watched her, mesmerized.

   "The pants kept slipping down so I just decided not to wear them if that's okay," she said to him when she noticed he was gazing at her.

   "It's okay, as long as you're comfortable," he told her with a light smile, standing up from his seated position and walking towards her.

  She returned his smile, keeping it intact even when she noticed a change in his expression when he saw her face up-close without any make up on. Her skin was a little paler and her cheekbones stuck out even more. Harry didn't think any negative of that other than that she looked unhealthy, and a bit sickly. The memory of her doing cocaine before one of their hook ups appeared in his mind and served as an explanation for why she looked like that. But he never thought that she was a regular user or even an addict, just a mild user.

  Adriana wasn't able to read him when he saw her, his gaze quickly averting as he walked around her and headed into the bathroom. She swallowed thickly as she stood there, pondering a bit, feeling her insecurities seep in. She was blessed with good skin when she was younger but as soon as she started doing cocaine, her skin broke out a little and looked sickly. It soon became permanent, as she got addicted quite quickly. She didn't look insanely horrible, just a little pale and sickly.

  Her mind was busy with many thoughts as she climbed into his bed, sighing with relief at how comfortable his bed was compared to the one she had. She began pondering on small useless things such as the fact that this was the first time she was sleeping with a man, without having sex before doing so. It was odd because one night stands and leaving after were her thing, plus even with Harry whenever she did just sleep with him, it was always after sex. She shook her head free from her thoughts when she felt the usual, unnatural fatigue take a toll on her; an effect of the cocaine she snorted before the shows she did.

  Harry exited the bathroom after a minute, noticing Adriana and assuming that she had already fallen asleep. After shutting the lights off, he crawled under the covers beside her, back hitting the bed with a sigh as he pulled the sheets up his bare chest to his chin. His eyes drooped as he felt exhaustion take over him, a yawn escaping his parted lips as he turned onto his side, facing away from Adriana.

   "Goodnight, Adriana, and sweet dreams," he murmured into the darkness even though he knew she was asleep.

  Soon enough, they were both fast asleep, facing opposite ways. Due to Harry's tendency to cling to the pillow Adriana was currently sleeping on, his body flipped towards the right arms reaching out for the pillow in his sleep halfway through the night. Instead he found Adriana's warm body and curled his arms around her, spooning her. Adriana barely noticed because she was fast asleep, surprisingly enough dreaming. It was surprising because it had been a while since she dreamt something. A dream she was actually enjoying, despite it being a wet dream about Harry. But soon enough, it turned into a nightmare.

   "Keep your fucking hips still."

  Harry's sweet, raspy voice had turned into one that was much more rough, and demanding. She found herself in a state of panic when her eyes flew open at the sound of his voice. Instead of a pair of soft green eyes, she found herself gazing into dark, malicious ones. Harry's soft, ring-clad fingers that were holding her hips while thrusting into her slowly and deeply were now replaced with a pair of large, calloused hands with fingers full of cold rings that dug into the flesh of her hips, leaving bruises as he pounded into her hard and fast.

   "Stop," she gasped in fear and shock, crying out loud when his fingers wrapped around her throat and forced her against the pillow. "Please!"

   "Shut the fuck up and be a good slut for me, or else," he growled lowly, tightening his grip on her neck, causing her breathing to shorten.

  She squeezed her eyes shut, praying for it to end as her body went limp while he thrusted into her with immense force, knocking the air out of her lungs. She prayed that Harry would appear again, caressing her body and whispering sweet nothings into her ear while giving her his all. Not this monster who was forcing himself on her, stripping her of all the dignity and innocence she had left in her. Tainting her mind and soul all over again. But in the distance she heard a voice calling her name. It sounded like Harry. But at the same time, he was talking to her in a harsh angry voice.

   "Adriana!"

   "Adriana stop fucking moving."

   "Adriana! Wake up!"

   "Be a good baby girl for me, and listen. I'll make this a whole lot better for you."

   "Adriana!" Harry called out loudly once again, shaking her shoulders as gently, but urgently as he could.

  Her eyes flew open all of a sudden, sitting up quickly with her wide, frightened eyes darting around the dark room, looking for him. But he wasn't here. Instead, Harry was sat beside her, a worried look etched upon his face as he tried to figure her out.

   "Where is he?" she whispered in a hushed tone, eyes darting around the dark room.

   "Who?" Harry immediately responded with a frown. She parted her lips to answer his question, then quickly shutting it with wide eyes and a shake of her head. "Who was it, love?"

   "I-I," she began to say, but bit her tongue and shook her head again, squeezing her eyes shut to stop herself from crying.

  He reached out to touch her arm, widening his eyes when she flinched and shuffled away. She saw his confused, hurt look, wishing that she could just burst out crying right then and there because she had worked so hard, for years, on burying those dark memories deep inside of her brain. But they had somehow been set free that night in the form of a nightmare.

   "Adriana, I won't hurt you," he whispered ever so quietly, wanting to hug her so bad because she looked terrified and broken, and it hurt his heart. "I promise."

   "I just-" she began to whimper, her tone full of emotion and vulnerability: it shocked Harry. "I-I just don't want to."

   "Don't want to what, darling?" he murmured in response, trying to push his buzzing questions as he shuffled a little closer to her. "It's okay, you can talk to me."

  She wrapped her arms around her knees, drawing them up against her head as she burying her face into the space created, and let out a pained whimper.

   "I don't want to cry."

   "Hey, it's okay to cry. You can cry in front of me, it's okay," he immediately said, again reaching out to touch her. She flinched again, but didn't move away.

  He slipped his hand up her back and rubbed gently in soothing, circular motions. Adriana on the other hand was shaking, finding it extremely hard to bottle everything up as she felt old memories flashing before her eyes. She heard the disgusting, degrading things he had said to her in the past, echoing in her ears, crushing her self-esteem as she found herself become her younger, broken self all over again. Tears pricked her eyes as she heard Harry call out for her softly, a tiny sob escaping her lips as she forced to stop herself from crying. She disliked crying because she had thought she run out of tears ages ago from the numerous times she had cried ever since she was born.

   "Oh Adriana," he whispered sadly when she raised her head up, his heart aching in his chest when he saw her teary eyes and broken expression. "Come here, sweetheart. I just want to hug you."

  She visibly cringed at the use of that nickname, letting out a strangled cry with a shake of her head. 'Sweetheart' was his nickname for her. She was immediately flooded with memories of how he used to call her that. You love me don't you, sweetheart? Let me show you how much I love you.

  Harry immediately widened his eyes and parted his lips in surprise, wondering why she reacted like that to what he said.

   "Please don't call me that," she whimpered quietly, making Harry's expression fall along with his heart. What on earth did she see? He wondered to himself.

   "I'm so sorry," he murmured in response immediately, reaching out to her once again while making eye contact with her.

  To his relief, she crawled towards him and he pulled her gently onto his lap where he wrapped his arms around her firmly and hugged her tightly. She curled her arms around his bare shoulders, sniffling softly while she screwed her eyes shut and tried to forget about him and focus on Harry instead. She sucked in deep breaths and focused on his deep, raspy voice speaking to her comfortingly, his hand that was rubbing her back soothingly and his warm body pressed against hers.

   "It's just a dream, love. It's not real," he continued to say reassuringly. "Whatever it is you saw can't hurt you now."

  She didn't say anything in response, simply hugging him tighter and burying her face into his neck for comfort. They sat there in each other's arms for another minute, before Adriana pulled back gently. Harry gazed at her with his eyebrows lightly knitted, watching her embarrassingly rub her cheeks harshly with the back of her hands. He gently took her hands in his, bringing them down and raising his hands to cup her cheeks, thumbs moving to swipe under her eyes and clear away any more tears.

   "You okay?" he questioned gently, for the first time seeing her true emotions show on her bare face as she slowly shook her head.

   "You will be, don't worry. Everything will get better," Harry said firmly, shooting her a reassuring smile.

  Adriana wanted to scoff and laugh bitterly at his words, but she didn't, knowing that he hadn't a clue about what was going on in her life currently, and what her past was like. A small part of her wanted to tell him everything that was going on, but the bigger part of her didn't want to. She never told people about her past, even if she did, it was always brief. She had lost her trust in everyone over the entirety of her life so she found it hard to trust Harry. Plus she barely knew him, and they agreed on just hooking up and not taking their relationship any further than that. So it wouldn't make sense to tell him his past in that matter.

   "I hope so," she murmured in response, eyes fluttering shut when he leaned in to kiss her forehead, in order to comfort her. The sweet, gentle action surprised her a little.

   "Do you want to see my pet rabbits?"

  Adriana's eyebrows shot up with a surprised chuckle rumbling in her chest at his strange request. Harry grinned immediately at her response, happy that she laughed after the horrible thing that had happen.

   "Are you serious?"

   "Well, I'm assuming it's going to take time to sleep again. So, I thought I'd show you my rabbits! They make me happy when I'm upset, so maybe they can cheer you up too," Harry rambled a little, averting his gaze and mumbling shyly. "I mean, if you want to of course. We can sleep if you don't or do something else-"

   "No, Harry it's fine. I'd love to see your rabbits," she told him with a slight grin, appreciating that he was trying to cheer her up and distract her from what had happened.

   "Yay! Let's go!"

∘❧∘

"This is Angel," he said with a proud grin, handing her a chubby, pure white bunny.

  "Oh my god, it's the softest thing ever," Adriana whispered as they sat in his huge rabbit pen, surrounded by several bunnies whom were hopping around happily. "She's beautiful, Harry."

   "Angel, say thank you," Harry said sternly to the rabbit, making Adriana snort with laughter. "She says thank you."

  "God you're so precious," Adriana said to him, leaning in to peck his cheek because she couldn't help him. He blushed, wishing she'd stop doing things like that because it was making him fall for her even more. "Who else would you like me to meet?"

   "Ummm, oh right! How could I forget Pablo? This is Pablo," he held up a light chocolate brown bunny. "Pablo is a very greedy bunny. He's always hogging all them carrots."

   "Well he's a cutie," she chuckled, petting the adorable brown bunny.

   "Do you have any pets, Adriana?" Harry questioned with interest, making her shake any her head.

   "I had a sweet, golden-yellow Labrador called Sunny when I was around 3 years old," she told him as he listened with a smile. "But she got hit by a car and passed away since we couldn't pay for her surgery."

   "Oh no, poor puppy," Harry pouted, feeling his heart ache for the poor dog as Adriana nodded sadly. "Rest in peace, Sunny."

   "Introduce me to your other rabbits, Harry," Adriana spoke up after a few seconds of silence, pulling a smile as Harry nodded excitedly and crawled around the rabbit pen, trying to look for the other rabbits. "Tell me the meanings behind the names too!"

   "Okay, so I named Angel 'cause I dunno she looked like an Angel. But! Her brother is called Snowball like Snowball in George Orwell's book, Animal Farm, which is one of my favorite books," Harry explained, holding Angel in one hand and Snowball in the other.

   "Animal Farm is a good book, I like 1984 more though," Adriana muttered with a grin, watching Harry's eyes light up.

   "I would love to engage in a conversation about politics and Orwen's warning to the world about the dangers of totalitarian governments with you, but let me introduce my other bunnies!" Harry said giddily. "Okay, so you've met Pablo, named after Pablo Casals, not Picasso 'cause that's basic."

   "Okay, cute," she laughed at his words. "Who's Pablo Casals? Sounds Spanish."

   "He's my favorite cellist, a cello player," Harry explained. "This here is Mozzy," he said, holding up a gray rabbit in one hand with Pablo in the other.

   "Is Mozzy short for Mozart?" she questioned with an arch of her brow, making him grin widely and nod in response. "And who're those adorable babies?" she asked, gesturing to the two nestled inside of the tiny house in the corner of the rabbit pen.

   "So that one's Stevie, after Stevie Nicks," he pointed at the golden, orangey colored rabbit. "And that one's Niall, named after my best friend," he explained, pointing at the chubbier more rounded bunny that was an albino.

   "The Irish guy with the dirty mouth," Adriana nodded in response.

   "Did he say something dirty to you? If so, I deeply apologize for his crass behavior-"

   "Babe, it's okay," she laughed quietly. "He just asked me if I liked threesomes."

  They now exited the rabbit pen that was around the back of his mansion and walked around the flower garden, both of them half naked and barefoot. The sun was rising, as it was around 5 in the morning.

   "What did you say?" Harry blurted out the question, without thinking, making Adriana raise her eyebrows questioningly with a smirk. "Just curious of course."

   "I told him I didn't mind them, I've been in many but haven't really enjoyed any of them," she said with a shrug as Harry found her words sparked his interest.

   "Why didn't you enjoy them?" he pressed like a curious child.

   "Well, I told you I never found sex thrilling or fun before I met you. So whatever I did before I met you, I didn't enjoy, like I didn't truly enjoy it. My body might've been satisfied, but I'm not," she explained to him, making him nod.

   "Do I satisfy you? Y'know, whenever we have sex? Like not just your body, I mean you," Harry couldn't help but ask, making her smile lightly while they walked slowly.

   "I do, baby. I really do," she told him honestly, halting her walking for a second to turn and look at him. For once, she wanted to be honest to him, and she decided she could at least be honest about this. "You make me feel like I'm safe and cared for when we have sex, it's weird I know but I've never felt like that."

   "It's not weird," he promised her, listening attentively. "Every person should feel like that when they have sex."

   "And, all my life I've felt like sex wasn't give and take, it was only give, give, give and having sex felt like being used. I hated it, but I was desperate and my body has sexual needs. But I dunno, whenever we hook up, it is like give and take. You care about pleasuring me even more than I you," she explained, making Harry bob his head in response, wishing she'd tell him why sex wasn't like give and take for her before they met. But he kept his mouth shut; know that she won't spill details of her past.

   "And I feel good when we have sex. My body enjoys it, and I enjoy it. You've made me look at the good side of it," she told him honestly, sharing a soft smile with him as she stepped forwards and cupped his cheeks. She quickly pecked his lips, pulling back with a grin and murmuring.

   "Thank you for that."

   "No worries," he giggled with a bright smile. "I'm glad you feel that way, Adriana. As long as you're enjoying it, and you're comfortable, I'm happy. I'm sorry sex wasn't as good as it is now for you, back then. But I promise, with me it'll keep getting better, and you will always come first when it comes to pleasuring, and just everything," he said to her sincerely, making her heart swell up in her chest as her lips stretched into a smile.

  She wished she could stop her feelings from developing further for him. But unfortunately that was hard to avoid as she found herself kissing him again. His lips and tongue tasted of the hot chocolate they had before they visited the rabbit pen, which he insisted on having because that was another usual cure for whenever he felt upset. His hands gripped her hips lightly as she molded her lips over his gently, keeping the kiss simple with no tongue because she didn't want to go further than that and bring up horrible memories again. This sort of kiss never triggered any of those memories because she had never experienced sweet, simple kisses with actual meaning behind it instead of lust, before.

  When they broke the kiss, Harry pulled her into a hug, squeezing his eyes tightly shut, wanting to hide his pained expression from her, which was the reason why he hugged her. He was falling for her, and he didn't know what to do at this point. He didn't want this to turn into a one-sided relationship where he'd be in love with her while she'd only be with him for sex and a little bit of company. He didn't want that at all, he couldn't bear the pain and frustration of it.

  But as he pulled back and looked deeply into her dark eyes that glinted to match her wide grin: he found himself being pulled deeper into the invisible trap that had been unintentionally laid for him.

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∘ what did you guys think of that chapter?

∘ I'm sorry if the "rape scene" made you uncomfortable but there were multiple warnings even before this chapter!

∘ Also, I got a comment during the last chapter concerning the characters. I know Adriana seems confusing and you guys don't truly understand why she doesn't want to be with Harry. What's going on in her current life and what happened in her past plays a HUGE role in her decision for this. And I know I'm keeping it all a mystery right now, but in time you will find out and everything will make sense.

Just gotta be patient!! So like, keep an open mind when reading this book. That is very important :)

BY THE WAY HARRY'S ALBUM IS ON FIRE!

❧What are your favorite songs? ❧

Mine are Only Angel, Kiwi, Ever Since New York, Carolina, Sign of the Times and Sweet Creature !!!!

∘ The next chapter will be up after two or three weeks or so because I've got exams coming up so bear with me xx

Until we meet again...

thiora♡