10. Connections and Confessions
The mismatched group of four began their trek through the wild jungle in the night, all rattling off mindless conversation to try and keep their minds occupied on anything other than their current situation. The only thing they really had to comfort them was the hope that they were headed in the correct direction of the visitors center. The night was dark and, now that the rain had subsided, warm. However, all four were still soaked from the previous downpour and their makeshift bath and they shivered. Amy wasn't sure how far they walked before the kids began to stumble over themselves, obviously exhausted. They went to take a short break to gather their nerves and energy to continue on further, yet the distant bellows of the Tyrannosaurus stopped them in their tracks. It sounded far closer than what Amy hoped.
"Are you hearing this?" Lex whispered, her eyes searching the darkness wildly like she thought something would jump out and grab her at any second.
Amy herself was incredibly on edge. Her fingers fidgeted and she subconsciously took a step back. The Tyrannosaurus cried out again. Alan reached around the two children, leading them closer to the snaking roots of a ginormous tree. "Come on, Tim. Come on, hurry up," he said, his voice low. "Let's, uh, get up this tree here." Tim began to whimper, his blue eyes widening in fear as his small body came to a halt. "Come on, Tim, it's okay."
"Oh, man," the boy moaned as he resisted Alan's prodding. "I hate trees."
"They don't bother me," Lex said, the young girl already beginning to climb up the coiling roots.
"Oh yeah? Well, you weren't in the last one." Lex simply shrugged and continued to climb. Tim watched her go, his chest rising and falling quickly. When Alan tried pushing him forward again, the boy jumped back, slapping the man's hand away from him. "What about Amy? She doesn't like trees either," he whined, still grasping for some excuse.
Amy nearly caught herself agreeing with the kid, yet she choked down her own protest as another prehistoric roar rattled the dark sky. She knew they had to get somewhere safe. She also didn't want to be the reason they were caught unprepared and exhausted on the forest floor. So, she swallowed her thick fear and she clasped a hand onto the boy's shoulder, hoping he wasn't able to feel her own shaking. "It's okay, Timmy, I don't mind climbing. It's the getting down part I don't like."
"Then how will you get down?"
"I'm sure Alan will think of something," she said with a wink and a smile, trying to appear at least somewhat confident. The boy eyed her for a moment, his stare narrowing as he searched for doubt within her persona. When he saw none, he nodded slowly. Amy gave Tim's shoulder a quick, comforting pat before gently pushing him forward and towards the tree's roots. Tim hesitantly followed up after his older sister, grumbling to himself as he climbed
Once the kids were a good few feet above them, Amy felt Alan nudge her side gently. "You sure you're alright?" he asked.
"Like I said, I can climb."
"Your hand?"
The woman's fingers subconsciously twitched at the reminder. Still, she forced a small smile. "I'll be fine, Alan. It's not like I have much of a choice anyway." Alan waited a moment longer, looking as though he wanted to say more. Maybe he wanted to protest on her behalf, yet in the end, he said nothing. Instead, he offered her a sturdy hand which she gratefully took. Amy braced herself against the taller male and he pushed her up onto the first root.
As Amy began to climb, she realized that the tree was not a single thing, but multiple trunks that were intertwined and weaved within one another, held together by vigorous vines and firm branches that all sloped forward lightly. Thankfully, this made it far easier to climb than the previous tree. Alan was close behind her and every so often he would press up against the bottom of her shoe, giving her shorter limbs a better reach as well as letting her know that he was still right there. It was comforting, knowing that if she were to become clumsy and slip due to her injured hand, he was there to catch her. It made her fear of heights far easier to ignore.
The children had already stopped on a thick cluster of branches and vines near the top of the tree, and they both waited patiently for the two adults to join them. Once Amy was close enough, the siblings each grabbed her arms and helped her the rest of the way up. The knots of branches made out a sort of platform that could easily hold three adults, but two adults and two kids made it a bit cramped and Tim and Lex had to scoot to the side in order to make enough room for Alan.
Amy reached out a hand and she pulled Alan up the remaining few steps as Tim suddenly declared, "hey, look at the Brontosauruses! I mean, uh, Brachiosaurus!"
When she turned her eyes to where the boy was pointing, Amy gasped. Looming far above the wide treeline was, indeed, a small herd of Brachiosauruses. With the storm passed, the sky's deep dusk of pink, purple, and blue framed the magnificent creatures. They peered through the wispy remnants of the clouds, their long necks stretched far past the canopy. Their lazy trumpets danced in the beckoning starlight, bringing a smile to Amy's lips.
"They're singing," Alan hummed, his voice radiating. Amy's eyes fluttered shut, finding momentary peace as she fell into an almost trance, allowing their elegant song to massage her recently frazzled mind. It was truly magnificent. Then, there was an odd and loud sound from directly behind her and she jumped.
Alan had crawled up onto a higher branch then the other three. His hands were cupped around his mouth in a makeshift funnel and he moaned loudly, imitating the calls of the dinosaurs. The sound he made only faintly resembled their trumpets, yet it caught the Brachiosauruses' attention and they all rumbled a response. Amy laughed at the sight, yet Lex didn't find it quite as delightful. The poor girl quickly shushed Alan and she desperately slapped his ankle, begging him to stop. "Don't let the monsters come over here!"
"They're not monsters, Lex, they're just animals. These are herbivores."
Tim decided to do his own interpretation of Alan's explanation. "That means they only eat vegetables. For you, I think they'd make an exception!"
"Tim," Alan warned, yet Amy could see his sneaky, lopsided smirk.
Lex rolled her eyes at her brother's playful antics. "Well, I hate the other kind."
"They just do what they do," Alan told her. However, after seeing the way Lex still nervously eyed the distant dinosaurs, he decided against trying to call them over again. Instead, he crawled back down from his perch and took a seat behind the kids and Amy. Alan rested against a thick trunk and the two children instantly clambered in on either side of him, snuggling their little bodies under his arms.
The man looked a bit taken aback, but he didn't protest. Amy nearly laughed at the sight as she nestled herself against her own branch, her arms crossing over her chest as she watched them. Alan tentatively reached his arms around the two kids, his eyes wide and unsure. The children took no notice of his hesitance and the three began to settle down. Alan suddenly yelped, jumping up and startling the kids. Tim leaned back as Alan fished his hand into his pocket, searching for whatever had poked him. When he finally retrieved the item, he held it up into the moonlight, twisting and studying the odd, black object. It took Amy a moment to focus through the ebbing darkness, but it became quickly apparent what the object was. It was a Velociraptor claw.
"What are you guys going to do now, if you don't have to dig up dinosaur bones anymore?" Lex asked softly. Amy pursed her lips sadly. The question was heavily somber and somewhat haunting in a way, however unknowingly that was to the young girl. Truthfully, Amy had no idea what was to become of herself or what the future held for paleontology in general. Sure, everyone knew technological advances would bring forth change to the scientific world as a whole, but how could any one of them possibly prepare themselves for this? For the reanimation of prehistoric life itself?
"I don't know, I guess-" Alan's voice cracked and he had to take a quick second to readjust his answer. He rolled his head to the side, meeting Amy's own downcast gaze. He felt the weight of the question, too. "I guess we'll just have to evolve, too." Amy mustered up a solemn smile, blinking heavily past the new build up of tearful despondency. Alan began to shuffle awkwardly, trying to balance comfortability between himself and the children. Amy cleared her throat and shook her hands, beckoning for Tim.
"Come here, champ. Let's give Alan some room to breathe." The boy crawled over to Amy and she instantly enveloped him within her arms, hugging the child to her chest. With the new free space, Lex freely curled herself around Alan and she nuzzled her face into his chest.
Tim sighed heavily, obviously tired. Still, he fought against sleep, much like a young boy his age would do. "What do you call a blind dinosaur?" he asked, suddenly perking up.
Amy hummed, feeling a bit uplifted by the question. Tim seemed rather like himself again and not like that of the frightened child from before. "I'm not too sure," she cocked her head to the side in thought, humoring him. "Alan?"
Alan shrugged, grinning. "Well, I don't know. What do you call a blind dinosaur?"
"A Do-you-think-he-saurus." Amy couldn't help herself. The way Tim had said it so simply made her burst out into laughter as the deep rumble of Alan's own chuckles followed suit. Tim grin mischievously, his toes wiggling in delight. "What do you call a blind dinosaur's dog?"
Alan shook his head. "You got me."
"A Do-you-think-he-saurus Rex."
The three snickered in amusement, however, the jokes did little to ease Lex. "Alan?" the girl mumbled, turning her head to gaze up at the man.
"Yeah?"
"What if the dinosaurs come back while we're all asleep?"
"Oh, I'll stay awake."
"But what if you fall asleep?"
"Then I'll be awake," Amy cut in, giving the girl a gentle, motherly smile. "Me and Alan can take shifts. That way, someone will be awake no matter what."
"All night?"
"All night," Alan confirmed, finally settling her troubles. He patted Lex's shoulder, trying his best to soothe her as she curled against him again. Amy watched the scene play out, a warmth flooding through her chest. It was obvious that the male paleontologist was not big on the idea of children, but when it came down to it, he knew how to handle them fairly well.
The four all settled comfortably, but Amy could feel Tim twitching and fidgeting against her, still fighting the urge to sleep. She ran her fingers across his bare arms and she rested her cheek against the top of his sandy locks, humming a random song that came to mind. Tim slowly relaxed into her arms and it wasn't long after that his breath shallowed, signifying that exhaustion finally overtook him. She wasn't sure how long Lex was awake for, but when Alan spoke, she knew by the tone in his voice that Lex had also fallen asleep.
"What song is that?" he whispered over to her while absentmindedly twirling the raptor claw between his fingers.
"O-oh, it's sort of new. I think it's called Linger by The Cranberries. Do you know them?"
Alan shook his head. "I don't listen to music very much, but I do like the song." He must have spoken a bit too loudly, for Lex began to stir. Alan tensed, hoping he hadn't woken the girl up. After a passing second, Lex let out a long exhale through her nose and relaxed again. Amy couldn't stop the giggle that bubbled up at the look of great relief from Alan.
"I think she likes you," she hummed wickedly with a cheeky smirk. Alan rolled his eyes and huffed out a low chuckle.
"Just my luck, getting stuck out here with a bunch of kids."
'Oh, hush, you love kids," she played coy.
"That's the problem, I don't. But, I guess I don't mind these two." Amy's grin widened knowingly, causing Alan to shake his head. Still, he, too, smiled.
"When are you planning on having your own little Alans and Ellies run around?"
"I'm not, if I can help it, though Ellie would tell you differently." Amy raised a brow at that, to which Alan sighed. "She has her heart set on getting married and having a kid, but I just don't think I can do it. Not yet, at least, but..."
"But Ellie doesn't want to wait," she finished for him.
Alan rested his head back against the tree bark, numbly watching the feeding Brachiosauruses and fiddling the claw between his palms. "I don't think we're meant to last." The way he said it caused a slight pinch within Amy's chest. He didn't particularly sound saddened by his revelation, or even angry. He sounded... Lost.
Amy shifted uncomfortably under the new atmosphere, all joyful banter now gone. She wanted to joke around in some way to ease the newfound tension, but she knew that it would be terribly out of place. She also knew, though, that the right thing to do was to say something, even if situations like this weren't exactly her forte. She started out slowly, choosing her words carefully. "Look, I haven't had the best experience with relationships and I know I don't really know you two, but I know you love Ellie. She loves you, too, but you don't have to be in love with each other. You can love each other and be in each other's lives, but that doesn't mean you have to get married and settle down. I think that's a different type of love."
Alan mulled these words over, taking them in and processing her meaning. Once he thought he understood, he nodded. "Yeah... I think you have great insight into relationships."
"Learned from experience," she said with a playful, smug grin, easing her way back into a conversation she was more comfortable with.
"What kind of experience was that?"
"Oh, you know, the usual. Two high school sweethearts getting engaged too soon, only to realize they were no good for each other. That kind of experience," she supposed easily, though her perky demeanor was quickly disintegrating. The situation simply was not moving in her favor.
"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that."
Amy only shrugged. "Well, it started out good at least. We even enrolled in the same med school program together. Then he started sneaking around and we started fighting more and I knew we couldn't fix things after I lost the baby," her voice trailed off, startled by her own confession. It had been a very long time since she had uttered those four words; the same four, little words that had completely shattered her old life into thousands of cutting little shards that still managed to prick her even after all these years.
"Amy-"
She cut him off swiftly with a raised hand, not wanting to hear whatever the apologetic words would be. Years of empty apologies had muddled into the same pitying sludge that Amy refused to let devour her. She battled back the dark murk by simply never mentioning it, which allowed her to ignore it and therefore it would not grow. She didn't want this moment to be the one where she accidentally broke.
Alan didn't say whatever it was he was planning to say, and Amy felt herself relax somewhat, thankful that he had caught the hint. The two adults settled into a thick silence, unsaid words snaking their way around their shoulders, electrifying the atmosphere. Although he refrained from his apology, Amy knew he still wanted to say something. She could only hope he wouldn't press her further, but she still braced herself.
"I lost my wife," he finally said, and it was something Amy was completely unprepared for, and it sent her entire being to a shuddering halt. "Car wreck a year after we married. Her name was Rachel." He sounded sentimental and far away, but at the same time, it was like he was holding her hand, his voice enveloping her in a soft pool whose surface would not stir. She forced her gaze to meet him, their eyes locked onto one another. Suddenly, Amy said something; something she had never once told another living being, yet she found it very easy to say to him.
"His name was Markus." In that moment, the two shared an understanding of each other, one that hardly another soul could ever bear to comprehend. And with this understanding, Amy found herself breaking open in a way she had never done before. Her face grew hot and she struggled not to sob out loud, the sound instead coming out strangled and cracked. "Alan, I did something bad."
The creases on his face deepened in a worried confusion. "What..?"
Amy tried to control herself, yet the soft pool he had once held her so kindly in was now consuming her, drowning her, and it all came bubbling out in rambled murmurs. "I wasn't going to go through with it, Alan, I really wasn't, but I just got so caught up in everything... I was sent here by Biosyn to smuggle dinosaur embryos out of InGen. I swear I didn't know about the plan until this morning. All I knew was that, if I did whatever Biosyn wanted me to do, they would rehire me. When I snuck off to the bathroom and met up with the informant, he told me everything... He had me stuck. He made a program hack that would shut down the Park's security and he threatened to use it and I was stuck. I don't know what went wrong or if any of this has anything to do with Nedry or the plan at all, but I think he activated the hack and that's why this is all happening.
"If I had just told someone what was going on instead of trying to deal with it myself, we wouldn't be in this situation. But that damned Hammond... he never wanted me to see this park. He didn't hire me because he thought my group and I were a great asset to him, or that I could give a good testimony on his part. He only wanted to get to me and the knowledge he thought I had. He wanted secrets about Biosyn - a scientific jump on the company. And I realize that neither me or my group matter at all in this world. The only thing I'm viewed as is a rat with information. But I was just so hurt and angry... And because I was stupid and selfish and wanted to get back at both companies, I didn't say anything about Nedry and now people are dying."
The two were quiet for a very long time after that. Amy was huffing angrily, hot tears dribbling down her tanned cheeks as she tried to calm down. Alan, though, she was unable to read. During her rant he had turned his eyes back to the open canopy before them, listening to her desperate confessions in a deafening silence. From the moment she began speaking, Amy regretted saying anything at all. She was in the wrong and she understood that, and she hated herself for everything, but another part of her was relieved she had at least confessed to someone, even if that person turned out to be Alan.
Alan was someone she greatly respected. He was a pioneer in their field and she looked up to him because of it, yet there was jealousy. There was always jealousy, especially when the truth about the true reasoning of her invitation to the park was revealed, but she still respected him. Over the past two days, her respect was quickly growing to be something else; something she never would have even hoped to feel for the man. And yet, it was still there, the embers gently fanned by every little interaction the two paleontologists shared, burning a bit brighter each time. So, in a way, she was glad she had opened up to him, but she feared his reaction.
She wasn't sure what was worse, if he chose to acknowledge her wrongdoings in some great outburst, or if he was to simply ignore what she had said and not say anything himself at all. When he finally did speak, it was neither one reaction she expected. Alan lifted the raptor claw for a final time, watching the moon and stars reflecting from its shined surface, and he tossed it, watching it fall to the forest floor below.
"None of that is your fault, Amethyst," he said. "This would have happened, whether you were involved or not. You didn't want this to happen. And, just so you know, you're not useless. Paleontologists will always have a place in this world, Hammond's creations be damned. I want you in my group, Amy. We're a dying breed, so we might as well stick together. Plus, you're not terrible to get along with."
Amy snorted at that, feeling a bit better with herself. She let out a heavy sigh and she rested her head on Timmy's head again, her fingers back to gently trailing up and down his small back.
"I think we should still be partners."
Amy rolled her head over, eyeing Alan with a raised brow, trying to act nonchalant, yet the feeling within her chest made her feel like she was flying. "Yeah?" she whispered, the newfound giddy feeling prevalent in her voice. Alan smiled his crooked smile and he reached a hand over. Amy reached out her hand in turn, though they could only get close enough to lock fingers without waking the children. "So, you don't care that I potentially caused living dinosaurs to break loose?"
"I'll only hold it against you if we get eaten."
Amy smiled, her chest fluttering lightly. "Cocky bastard."
Alan's pool of warmth molded around her and she was finally calmed. The two were at ease once again, and Amy couldn't keep back the bubbly feeling this time. It tingled her fingers and toes and made her light headed, but she liked it. Even though they were all trapped within a deadly forest full of reanimated monsters, and although Amy still felt the heaviness of guilt resting against the underside of her inner breastbone as she stared down into the dark abyss where the raptor's claw had fallen, she allowed herself to fall into his warmth. At least, before the morning came, she could pretend to be happy with Alan Grant.
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