Before you begin reading, this isn't entirely a word-for-word thing. It was on my mind for a couple of years, though. Enjoy.

“So, in this movie, time is literally money," Ash said to Willow as they watched a movie in the Royal Rock family's living room. “The upper class are practically immortal, while everyone else is struggling for just one more day. Does that sound about right?"

“Yeah, it is pretty ridiculous," Willow admitted.

“I don't know," Ash figured. “I think it's an interesting premise that could help address issues in a modern society, so long as its executed properly."

“Huh, I never thought of it like that," Willow muttered, then shook her empty soda can. “I'll be right back, just gonna get another drink. You want something?"

“No, I'm good," Ash replied as Willow headed into the kitchen, where Queen Barb was reading a book next to a wig head at the table. While Willow searched the fridge,  Barb attempted to cut some hair off the wig.

“Too short," she grumbled, and involuntarily tossed the wig onto Willow's head. The rainbow-haired Troll took notice and couldn't help but wonder what the hair was going on.

“Uh, Barb?" Willow asked. “What are you doing?"

“Trying to cut bangs," Barb answered.

“Why?"

“Decided to try beauty school," she explained. “I've lately been trying to step outside of my comfort zone. Thought getting a cosmetology license would do the trick."

“I didn't know Volcano Rock City had cosmetologists," Willow said.

“Who do you think I paid to give me a mohawk?" Barb asked rhetorically as she attempted to cut bangs again, only for them to be misshapen. “Ugh! It's impossible!"

“Lemme see," Willow said, taking the scissors. After some consideration, she made one quick snip and the wig's bangs were cut perfectly! “There you go."

“How'd you do that?!" Barb exclaimed.

“I don't know, I just did," Willow admitted. Barb blinked and desperately handed her two more wigs.

“Think you can also do a bob and a French braid?"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“I never understood why people call it chai tea," Synth explained to Branch as they waiting in line at a coffee shop. “I mean, the word chai already means tea by itself. It's like sayin' tea plus tea. Or tea times tea."

“Tea squared," Branch joked. Synth just blinked.

“I don't get it."

Branch rolled his eyes. “You see, squared means to take a number to the–"

“THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED!" they suddenly heard Poppy shouting, and she jumped down a tree and bounced off a plushroom.

“Poppy, you okay?" Branch asked with concern.

“And who's getting married?" Synth wondered.

“Oh, you probably don't know this, Synth," Poppy began, “but Pop Trolls used to be held captive and eaten by these big grumpy creatures called Bergens. But now, we're all friends with them, and King Gristle finally proposed to Bridget!"

“Yeah," said Synth, “I understand the whole, uh... What now?"

Branch shook his head and said to his girlfriend, “I'm happy for them. Looking forward to the royal wedding."

“I better go tell the rest of the village!" she said ecstatically. “Starting with..."

Poppy pushed Branch's hair open to see Flower sleeping soundly inside.

“I'll tell her when she wakes up," Branch promised. “You go ahead and tell everyone else."

“Oh, alright," Poppy groaned, then sweetly planted a kiss on her daughter's forehead. “Sleep tight, my little angel."

Once Poppy left, Synth thought for a moment and said, “Say, Dubstep..."

“Please don't call me that," Branch groaned.

“I just wanted to ask, what exactly to people do at weddings?"

Branch raised an eyebrow. “You've never been to a wedding?"

“I admit, I was invited quite a few times," he said, “but it was never a good time for me to go. Please don't ask me why."

“I wasn't going to," Branch assured him. “Well, during the actual ceremony, people just sit and watch the bride and groom get married by an officiant. The real fun happens during the reception. People eat, dance ballroom style, meet new people."

“Perhaps I should go this time," Synth suggested. “I moved here to meet new people. This could actually help me. Except I don't know how to dance ballroom style."

Branch thought about this for a moment and suggested, “Guy Diamond recently opened up a class for this sort of thing. There are Trolls across Troll Kingdom attending. Maybe you could try it."

“Hmm, I don't know, Dubstep," Synth admitted. “What if I look like an idiot in front of those other Trolls?"

“Well, you do have to bring a partner to the class," Branch pointed out. “If it'll make you feel better, I could be your partner. I'm already a good dancer, but I can still help you."

“Thanks, bro," Synth replied. “I think you're right. Okay, I'll do it!"

“Great!" Branch replied. “But you'll have to find another partner at the wedding. I'm gonna be dancing with Poppy."

“You got it, man."

💚🩵💜🩵💛🩵🩷🩵💙🩵

The following evening, Willow had invited Branch to her house to help her out with an emergency. He would've turned her down if he knew it was to sit and wear a wig while she trimmed it.

“Couldn't you do this on a wig head?" he asked, quite annoyed.

“No," Willow replied. “Head down. Bobs are extremely intricate. I need to see how the hair moves. Now, shake it out for me."

Branch shook his head side to side.

“Stand up, please," Willow ordered. Branch obeyed. “It's impossible to evaluate with you in that shapeless smock. Maybe these will give me the illusion of a bosom."

Willow took a couple of fruits, stuffed them into the smock, tied a silk ribbon around Branch's waist, and took a good look at him.

“Ugh, you make one ugly woman," Willow stated. Branch just glared at her. “But that haircut's got class."

“Oh, my gosh! Class!" Branch gasped, and ran out the door. “Hold on, Synth! I'm coming!"

“Wait! Barb still needs a French braid!"

“Okay, everyooooooone!" Guy Diamond loudly announced to the class. “Class starts in twooooo minutes! Get ready to grab your dance partners!"

At that moment, Branch ran inside and rushed up to Synth.

“Sorry, I'm late," he panted.

“Dubstep? Why are you dressed like a woman?" Synth asked.

“Huh? Oh, Willow was practicing cutting hair," Branch answered.

“Nice bob," Synth complimented. “You make kind of an ugly woman, though."

Branch looked in a mirror and said, “Why does everybody say that? I think I look beautiful."

“Hey, Synth, who's your dance partner?" Guy Diamond wondered, having not listened to their conversation. “She's such a beautiful woman."

“Uh, what?" Synth said in shock. “Uh, actually, GD, this is–"

“Brook!" Branch lied, raising his vocal pitch. “Finally, a Troll with taste!"

Feeling smitten, Guy Diamond took Branch's hand and tenderly kissed it before walking away.

“See? I told you I was beautiful."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Barb! How did we– Ow!" Willow shouted as she crash landed in front of Barb at the beauty school. The rock queen put down her wig head and quickly helped her sister's girlfriend get back on her feet. “Thanks. So, how'd we do?"

“I got a 67," Barb answered.

“What?!" Willow exclaimed. “Did you tell them it was because I had to do it on a wig head?"

“No, it's because I didn't turn in the bob," Barb replied.

“Branch!" Willow spat. “What's tonight's homework?"

“A perm."

“A perm? What is this, the Cold War?" Willow scoffed, and held up the wig head. “Hmm. Her hair's very fine. It's not gonna be easy. I'll definitely need some volumizer.  You know what, Barb? Just go home. I'll figure something out."

“Say, Dubstep, where'd you get that dress?" Synth asked as he and Branch tangoed in class. It was, indeed, a pretty little thing. Lavender, knee-length skirt, with flower embroidery across the bodice.

“Oh, I thought Brook deserved something a little nicer than a smock," Branch answered in a high-pitched voice. “And look how pretty it twirls!"

Guy Diamond immediately took notice as Branch did a flawless twirl. “Wow! In all my years of teaching, I've never seen such grace, such beauuuuuuty on the dance flooooor!"

“Thanks, GD!" Synth said in delight.

“I was talking to Brook," Guy Diamond pointed out. Synth's face fell as Branch batted his eyes. “Too bad I have a strict rule about dating my students."

Branch giggled nervously. “Good thing for that rule!"

“That's it for today, everyone! Class dismissed!" Guy Diamond announced to the rest of the class, then returned his gaze to Branch. “Until tomorrow, Brook. I will be counting the seconds. One... two... threeeeee... four... five.... six... seeeeveeeen..."

••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Later that evening, Branch decided to visit Willow and talk to her about his dilemma while she restyled a wig on his head.

“So, how are things?" she wondered.

“Oh, I don't know. Complicated," Branch admitted.

“Talk to me."

“Get this, my dance teacher has a crush on me," Branch answered.

“What's complicated about that?" Willow asked as she pulled out hair curlers.

“Well, A, I'm not interested," he explained. “B, I'm taking the class to help a friend, but now, with all this weird stuff going on, I don't think I should go back."

“Listen, girl," Willow said, adding volumizer to the wig, “don't let this teacher get under your skin. You've made a commitment to a friend. You gotta follow through on that commitment."

“You're right. You're so right."

“You know what else is right?" Willow asked. “The amount of volumizer I used on your perm."

“Barb, I finished it!" Willow shouted, flying to the back of the stage in Volcano Rock City. Willow quickly noticed how the arena was crowded with Hard Rock Trolls and Barb was wearing a shiny black and red bodysuit. “Hey, what are you doing?"

“Ash and I are putting on a show, of course," Barb answered.

“How can you put on a show when class starts in half an hour?!" Willow exclaimed in outrage.

“Oh, I quit beauty school," Barb informed her. “What was the point? I wasn't even good at it."

“But you only need to pass one more exam to get your cosmetology license!" Willow pointed out, holding up the wig head.

“I don't want a cosmetology license," Barb insisted. “Ooh, nice perm."

“Barb, you're on," Riff alerted her.

“I'll be right there!" she said, then rushed onto the stage. “What up, Volcano Rock City?!"

As the crowd cheered, Willow ran up to Ash, who was tuning her guitar real quick.

“Ash, babe, talk some sense into Barb!" Willow pleaded. “We're this close to getting a cosmetology license, and she's dropping it all for a concert!"

“Sorry, Willow, but I can't force Barb to do something she doesn't want to do. What kind of sister would I be?" Ash explained. “Besides, if anyone should be a hairdresser, it's you. Well, time to blow the crowd away with Alt Rock."

As Ash joined her sister onstage, Willow looked at the wig in thought. Then, it hit her. Barb would certainly get her cosmetology license, even if Willow had to attend the class herself. So, she went to Edgy Thingz to buy some makeup, clothes, and earrings. Then, she painted every inch of her skin dusty rose, shaved her head and colored what was left bright red, slipped on a torn up tank top and fishnet stockings, fastened a belt with a silver skull buckle, put on dark, heavy makeup and giant red contacts, and adorned her ears with giant hoop earrings. For a finishing touch, she cast a spell to make it look like part of her left ear was missing.

“Queen Barb, it's time to get your cosmetology license," Willow said to her reflection with determination. Then, she played a chord on an electric guitar and smashed it to bits.

💚🩵💜🩵💛🩵🩷🩵💙🩵

“Good bounce, nice elasticity... Ooh! And somebody used some volumizer!" the teacher said, examining Willow's wig. “Good job, Barb! That's a perfect perm."

“Yes!" Willow whooped, then remembered she had to sound like Barb. “I mean, uh... Yeah, cool. Whatevs."

“Alright, everyone," the teacher announced to the class. “Time for your final exam. You've each been assigned a volunteer client. Good luck. Your cosmetology license is on the line."

Willow approached her assigned client, who was facing away from her, with confidence. Her face fell, however, once she realized whose hair she would be doing.

“I should warn you, Barbara, my hair is very brittle" muttered King Thrash. Willow took one poke of his hair, and a few strands turned to dust.

“Oh, boy."

Back in Pop Village, Synth was talking with a couple of his dance classmates when Branch stepped in wearing a bright red dress adorned with gold sequins.

“Another new dress?"

“It's the last class, I wanna look nice," Branch said.

“Attention, everyone!" Guy Diamond announced. “I just want to say it has been a pleasure being your instructor. You have all come soooo faaaaar! Of course, some of you have come farther than others. Hehe."

Branch began to sweat as Guy Diamond stared at him like the world's sweetest cupcake. Once the music started playing, Branch took matters into his own hands and led Synth to the other side of the dancefloor. Unfortunately, Guy Diamond was already there.

“Hello, Brook," he said smoothly. Branch then led Synth away from Guy Diamond, but Guy caught up to them again. “That's a beautiful dress."

“Dubstep, you're supposed to let me lead!" Synth pointed as Branch dragged him to a corner, where Guy Diamond rested on his hip, waggling his eyebrows.

“Just shut up and dance!"

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

“Gorgeous!" Willow whispered once she finished Thrash's new, wavy hairstyle.

“Barb, you've really outdone yourself!" the teacher praised.

“Thanks, it wasn't easy," Willow said. “His hair's like straw you wouldn't feed a donkey. But as I always say; extensions, a Trollzillian blowout, and platinum highlights can hide any flaw."

“Well, you've just earned yourself a cosmetology license!" the teacher declared. “Congratulations, Barb!"

“Way to go, Barb!" one of the other students cheered. Just as Willow was about to give out a fist bump, however...

“Willow?"

Everyone turned around to find the Hard Rock Queen standing at the school's entrance.

“Barb?!" Willow exclaimed. “I mean, uh... It's my evil twin, uh... Larb. What are you doing here?!"

“I'm returning my wig heads," Barb answered. “What are you doing here?!"

“What is going on?" the teacher asked in bewilderment. Barb just glared at Willow.

Seeing no other way out of it, Willow took a deep breath and said, “I'm not Queen Barb."

“Then who are you?" asked the teacher.

“For a long time, I couldn't figure that out," Willow began, holding up her scissors. “But now, I know the truth. You see, my whole life I've been surrounded by ugly Trolls, with no idea how to help them. But now, thanks to these, I have the power to trim the ugliness away, one haircut at a time! So, you ask me who I am? I'll tell you."

To answer their question, Willow took a rag, wiped her face clean, and revealed her purple face and rainbow mohawk.

“I'm Willow Duckweed, and I'm a hairdresser."

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Back in Pop Village, Poppy took Flower on an evening stroll not too far away from Guy Diamond's dance class. Flower looked through a window and noticed the other Trolls dancing, including an ugly, but familiar-looking woman dancing with Synth.

“Hi, Daddy!" Flower giggled.

“What was that, Flower?" Poppy asked, and noticed Flower pointing at Synth and the woman. “Oh, sweetie, that's not Daddy. That's just Synth and a, uh... well, a woman I've never seen before. Hmm, maybe Synth sees something in her no one else does."

“Can we go, Mommy?" Flower asked. “Pwetty please?"

“I guess it couldn't hurt," Poppy figured, and they headed for the class.

“Yo, yo, whoa!" Synth exclaimed as Branch twirled and dipped him.

“No, Synth, you're supposed to be the dipper, not the dippee!" Guy Diamond pointed out. “You're the man, Brook's the woman. A woman unlike any I've ever met."

“Daddy, why are you flirting with your student?" Tiny Diamond asked, popping his head out of his father's hair. No one noticed Poppy and Flower entering the room.

“Wouldn't you like to have a mom, Tiny?" Guy Diamond whispered to his son. To Branch, that was the last straw.

“Look, I'm flattered, but I'm also..." he took off his wig, “... Branch."

“BRAAAAAAAAAANCH?!" Guy Diamond screeched in auto tune.

“What do you know?" Poppy muttered. “It was Daddy."

“Told yous," Flower said.

“I joined the class to help Synth, not to be the target of your affections," Branch said to Guy Diamond. “Of course, I'm sure I didn't help things by looking so beautiful."

Guy Diamond scoffed. “Beautiful?! Who said you were beautiful?"

“You did!"

“I was just being nice!" Guy Diamond claimed. “You-you were obviously the most unattractive woman in the class, so I was trying to make you feel better about yourself. It's called overcompensating."

Branch just glared at the sparkly Troll as he marched off into another room. After slamming the door, the rest of the class could've sworn they heard his auto tuned voice sobbing.

“WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?!"

Branch sighed, then turned to his Techno dance partner. “Hey, Synth? I'm really sorry things turned out the way they did."

Synth laughed. “Are you kidding? This is the most I've had since I moved here!"

“It was?"

“Of course!" Synth insisted. “And I learned how to ballroom dance, like you said you'd help me do. You're a good friend, Dubstep."

Branch sheepishly blushed. “Thanks, Synth."

“Also, you may be an ugly woman, but there's a beautiful one with an adorable baby girl standing right over there," Synth added, gesturing to Poppy and Flower. “Maybe they would like a chance to dance?"

Branch chuckled softly and made his way towards his girlfriend and daughter.

“Would the two of you honor me with a dance?" he asked them.

“What do you say, Flower?" Poppy said to their baby.

“I'd wove to!" Flower answered. With that, Branch took Flower in one arm and wrapped the other around Poppy, who put her own arms around Branch's neck.

“Nice dress," Poppy laughed. Branch couldn't help but laugh along as well.

I'll see you next time. 🌈