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Abhinandan POV

I asked him to wage the war the day we learned about Rudra and Nandani. I wanted him to do it and kill him. I was willing to take part in it. Instead of listening to me, he blamed me and said that I was equally responsible for it.

And I hated it.

I was not responsible for it. Although I trusted Rudra and brought him into the Kingdom, he planned everything.

My father made us vulnerable in front of the whole Hind by listening to Nandani. He sent the message that we were weak.

But, it seems like everything has gone in vain.

I will never forget his decision. If he had wanted, Rudra would never have married Nandani. And I liked that. I wanted him dead.

I let out a deep exhale and freshened up. I did not meet anyone. Even after Nandani looked happy, I could not accept that she was pleased. I did not know if we were truly twins.

I would never marry a girl who would have betrayed me, not in this life and not in the other six. Even if I would die, I would never.

Strangely, I remembered Trisha all of a sudden.

"Abhinan," suddenly, my mother's voice caught my attention, and I lifted my head to notice her bringing the dinner for me.

"Maasa," I called out and sat straight.

She sat in front of me, smiled, and looked at me.

"How are you?" her voice was slightly weak, and I nodded.

"Better," I said, and she nodded, tearing a bite for me.

"I am big now, Maasa. I can eat with my hands," I exclaimed, pulling the plate towards me, and she smiled.

"You are certainly bigger now," she said, lowering her gaze and placing the torn bite on the side of the plate. I gulped with the stir of emotions. You know you only wished to eat with your hands when you were ten. Nandani would be so jealous of you as she started eating alone when she was three. And, to make her even more envious, you would continue asking me to feed you," she said, and I nodded, remembering it.

I liked teasing her.

"Yes, I remember that," I said, and she lifted her gaze to me.

"Her life is not a food bite, Abhinan," she said, and I inhaled deeply. When would they stop supporting her?

"When a person dies, it is not others who dig his grave; it's his own family who does that," she said, staring into my eyes. "Do not hurt yourself over her. It's over. She is gone. Whatever happens to her, to her family, the new one is her business now. Let her do that, live that and fight whatever comes in her path. She chose it by herself. If you cannot accept that, do not stand as a mountain before a flowing river. It might not affect the water, but it will part the river. Do not become that to your sister, knowingly or unknowingly. You have always told her she could choose for herself and let people say whatever they want. When did you stop becoming that brother? It's not your mistake, my child. It was mine. It was your father's. Suppose he had not married me before Suryadev and my wedding. Nothing of it had ever happened. Rudra would not have lost his father, nor would he have done what he did. It's your father's karma. That brought him here. It is my karma that brought me here. The battle is not your fight. You have a bright future ahead. You can mould your kingdom as you want and lead it as you desire. It's all yours to claim, my child. Leave whatever happened behind for your well-being and others, too. If you keep pulling it by yourself, our enemies will not have to do much to scatter us," she exclaimed in a slow voice, and I just looked at her.

I immediately lowered my gaze. For a moment, I realised that whatever she said was right. And, at least, unlike Rudra, she did not claim Nandani innocent. She thought about me.

I nodded silently and muttered. "Yes, Maasa, I will try to accept it," I said, and she cupped my cheek and kissed my forehead.

"I love you so much. A mother does not know how to be biased towards one child, especially when they are twins. I cannot tell who drank more of my milk. I cannot tell who got much of my love. Because whatever I had to give, I gave it all to both of you," she said, caressing my cheek, and I nodded with a weak smile.

"Thank you, Maasa," I muttered, and she lowered her gaze to the plate.

"You are the next King and must focus on becoming that. God knows when you will have to be prepared for the battle of reality," she muttered, and I knit my brows with confusion. I could not understand her.

"Shall I feed you now?" she asked, smiling suddenly, and I nodded.

"Yes,"

She tore a bite and fed me. I chewed on it, and I blinked nervously before saying it aloud.

"Maasa, there is one thing that is bothering me more now," I said, and she softened her eyes and nodded.

"Do you remember Trisha?" I asked, and she knitted her brows for a moment and then nodded.

"Your friend when you were young," she asked, and I nodded, taking another bite from her hand.

"Yes. Baapusa asked her to talk to me. He called her here and asked her to convince me to come back," I said, and she stared at me blankly.

"It's wrong," I declared, and she inhaled deeply, nodding.

"Yes, it does," she said.

"You did not know about it?" I asked, and she looked away for a moment.

"I do not remember much these days," she said, and I looked into her eyes. It seemed like something was bothering her.

But what?

"Do you remember when you wanted something from your father, and he would deny it?" she asked, and I nodded.

"Yes, I would come to you to talk to him," I said, and she nodded.

"He did the same. When you were not listening to him, he asked one of your good friends to talk to you," she said, and I looked away.

"But why? Why involve her? It was not like I was going to live there for the rest of my life," I said, and she tore another bite and brought it closer to my mouth.

"Maybe he wished to see you sooner," she said, and I inhaled deeply.

"She is getting married, Maasa," I could not stop myself from saying.Another Update!!!

She pulled her hand back and looked at me.

"And?" she asked.

"What and? I do not want her to marry. I asked her to deny that," I said, clenched my jaw. "And she did not listen to me," I added.

"Why did you ask her to do that?" she asked, and I looked at her blankly.

"Because I do not want her to get married," I stated, and she nodded.

"But why? Is she being forced to marry?" she asked, and I shook my head.

"I do not think so. But I think she deserves better," I said, and she looked into my eyes.

"Better like whom?" she asked, and I looked back at her in confusion.

Better like whom? I did not know that.

"I do not know. I do not want her to get married," I exclaimed, and she asked.

"Who is she getting married to?"

"A soldier," I replied.

She nodded. "Okay, then your father and I will talk to Guruji and suggest a higher-ranking soldier, like a commander-in-chief or maybe Ashwin. His parents are looking for a girl, too," she suggested, and my eyes widened with shock.

"But, why a soldier? Why not a Prince or a King? Does not she deserve to be a Princess or a Queen?" I asked, and she knit her brows.

"Does she want that?" she asked, and I shook my head. "I do not know," I declared.

"Well, if you want that, I will suggest a good Prince to her father. There will be plenty wanting to marry a girl like her," she said, and I looked away.

So that you know – the matter remained the same. I did not want anyone to touch her. It was better when she tried to become a sage.

"Is that alright?" she asked, and I shook my head.

"No!" I looked at her. "I do not think that either Guruji or she will agree to that," I added, and she looked at me with the lines on her forehead.

"Then, what do you want?" she asked, and I stood up from the bed.

That was the reality, and I did not know exactly what I wanted with Trisha, Nandani, Rudra, and my family.

My emotions for them were like the roots of the trees, scattered and intertwining.

I could not settle on hating them, standing by them or loving them.

I was still determining what I wanted.

"I do not know, Maasa," I declared, and she stood up and held my hand.

"No one knows what exactly they want. That's why people make decisions with impulses. At one moment, something seems good for others, and the same might be bad by the end of the day. You are not alone in this, Abhinan," she said, and I turned around to look at her.

"Maasa, can I ask you something?" I said, and she nodded.

"Is love truly that important? Cannot someone live his life without it?" I asked, and she inhaled a deep breath.

"Love is a different word for everyone, Abhinan. For some, it's the definition of devotion. The sages, the saint, and the devotees love their idols and spend their lives contently serving them, asking for nothing in exchange. That is the purest form of love. They do not love a person. Instead, they fall in love with the supreme. But, it is love. There are people like Kings, soldiers, and martyrs who love their Kingdom, people, and religion the most. They spend their life serving them contently until the last breath them. It is love, too. And, there is a love of a woman who loves others in the shadow of mother, sister, wife, and daughter and spends their whole life contently loving them. It is love, too. The forms of love can vary, but it is impossible for someone to live without love. Love is a motivation that wakes us up in the morning; sometimes, it is in the form of discipline; sometimes, it is in the form of habit, but it is there. Love is not only a man and wife. It is much deeper and like a tree; the more it spreads its leaves, the bigger it grows and the sweeter the fruits come," she said, and I sucked on my lips.

"Should I find love in my life, too? Will it give me a sense of purpose or motivation? Because these days, I feel like I do not have anything to wake up in the morning. And, you know, Kingdom and power never motivates me to step forward," I said, and she smiled weakly, looking at me.

"It is yours to find, Abhinan. Who am I to tell you what to do? I cannot guarantee that love will change everything for you, but maybe a companion you love and the one who loves you might help you find that purpose," she said, and I knit my brows.

"Are you suggesting that I get married, too?" I asked, and she suddenly smiled.

"Well, there will not be any greater joy than seeing your son get married, but marriage is not the answer to what you seek. Maybe a companion who could listen to you without interrupting you is the first step to begin. Once you start speaking, the rest of it will make sense," she suggested. I did not know why, but only Trisha came to mind when she mentioned someone listening to me without interrupting.

She was the one who listened to me like that.

"And, what if I never found that companion?" I asked, and she smiled.

"That companion cannot only be a person; it could be an art, a habit, or something that allows your mind to go free. And everyone does find one in their life. Do not worry," she said, and I bit on my lips.

"And, what if that companion would be a person?" I asked, looking away, and she stayed silent for a few moments.

"And, she is getting married?" she asked suddenly.

Another Update!!!

Chapter 15 to 23 are available on Stck.

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