I awoke in his arms holding me tight, his breath slowly crept into my ear, our legs wrapping around each other. I could see his hand that was intertwined with mine. It made me smile when he unconsciously squeezed my hand tighter. I felt protected within his strong, yet gentle arms.

I whispered his silly nickname everyone called him by instead, turning around to kiss his nose.

He chuckled out my name, lightly kissing my forehead.

The way my name sounded coming from his mouth made my heart flutter. It felt right when he said it. I could remember all the times he said my name. And each time, my heart would flutter the same way.

-
I awoke alone, cold, in my own bed. My legs were wrapped around themselves, and there was no sign of him. I felt lonely. My stomach felt like shit. Not to mention, my head was spinning. I groaned in regret as the spilled pills on my dresser caught my eyes.

I was going through a bad time. I was in a bad place. I felt bad. I was existing, not living. I had drugs to get high and relax, but that wasn't me. I thought that the only way to get to him, to only be with him, was to make myself dream enough; to make it feel real. I still don't even know who I am. I feel like I'm missing a part of myself. I wish I had someone to complete me. I wish it was him.

Now I've liked plenty of guys, but he was different. I dreamt about him. More than anyone. He ran through my mind, I didn't have to see him. The "out of sight, out of mind" didn't work.

I knew that my subconscious dreamt about him for a reason. Maybe because I love him. But maybe because it's a potential love. I know I could love him.

What hurts me is that we will probably never speak again. That's why I pray to God to bring us together. Someway, somehow.

But I know God isn't listening. I know the universe won't align their stars. Nobody can make him and I be together, except himself. These feelings I have for him can't be reciprocated easily. I turn to writing as an outlet for my emotions, but all it does is make me think about him more. So I turn to drugs, hoping they'll fuck with my mind enough to make it seem real.