I don't know
how to let go of these
nightmares I hold
I don't know
how to fit inside
this body I am
I don't know
how to live with
these painful memories
replaying in my head

I wanted to let go
I said once more and I promised
no more but the truth is
I lied.

I don't know how to live
without it, I need it
The magic that splashes the world
with bright light, a breeze
carrying me away from the hands of
misery and pain
It takes me, consciousness drifting away
in the best way because this time
It was me who bought the ticket
I chose this, I want this

A premonition, in this case
a childhood dream turned true
of flying in a helicopter soaring, spinning,
dropping and lifting back up,
in a deep blue cloudless, endless sky