Elsie

For days, Elsie didn't see any sign of Camilla. Initially, she panicked, but before she could gather up a search party, Hitomi assured her that Camilla was fine. Except when Elsie tried to press her for more information, Hitomi bitterly claimed she didn't actually know much more than Elsie did, and she had only happened to see Camilla with AJ by chance. While Elsie couldn't help but still worry, she at least took some comfort in knowing that someone at least had contact with Camilla.

What they did have to worry about was Exodos's reaction to the incident. Word quickly spread that Camilla could use her abilities after all, and suspicions grew about why Camilla tried to keep them hidden. While some of Exodos began to worry that Elsie's group was planning on attacking them from within, others simply jumped to planning on how Camilla's abilities could help them turn the tide against the Org. Both viewpoints put Elsie and her friends in unfavorable positions, and they gathered a few times sans Camilla to discuss their next move.

According to AJ, nearly all of Exodos had now agreed that their group shouldn't be allowed to leave, primarily for security reasons. Even the healers, who had generally been on their side since the beginning, as well as others sympathetic to them all believed that Elsie's group could still pose an unintentional security threat should they be released. So if they wanted to leave, it had to be done in secret.

Things were like how they were four months ago, when they were trying to find Camilla again and they were forced to plan while they kept their true intentions from the Org. Except this time they needed to keep their secrets hidden from Exodos, and both they and the Org would be after them should they succeed. It was a daunting task, but at least their goal was clearer this time, as opposed to them having no idea where Camilla was being held. And now that they all had experience in plotting a break-in and getaway, planning just the getaway portion should be easy.

Unfortunately, thanks to the recent rotation schedules that seemed to put all of them on conflicting shifts, it took them almost halfway through August to form some semblance of a plan, along with individual assignments. Nakia and Finn were in charge of mapping out a layout of the base as best as they could, Hitomi would gather any tech they needed, and Mack would collect rations and medical supplies.

And Elsie was responsible for explaining everything to Camilla.

Elsie wasn't sure why the others thought she would have better luck at getting Camilla to talk to her than the rest of them. It seemed like Camilla actively avoided her the most; while all of them had managed to greet Camilla at least once over the past couple of weeks, Camilla always seemed to be heading in the opposite direction whenever Elsie spotted her. And Camilla's blatant avoidance of her was making Elsie nervous, especially since she had no idea how to fix it.

Maybe if Elsie had learned how to make more than just scrambled eggs at some point in her life, she would have managed to keep her shift in the cafeteria where she could have collected rations like Mack.

In any case, Elsie had her assignment, and she wasn't going to give up that easily. No matter what Camilla's reason for avoiding her was, it had to be put on hold for the sake of their own safety, and Elsie was determined to succeed. Fortunately, and surprisingly, before Elsie could even come up with a plan for how to approach Camilla, Camilla approached her first.

It was the middle of August when Elsie had been alone in their room trying to brainstorm ways to break the news of their plan to Camilla. At the sound of soft footsteps entering the room, Elsie initially thought it was Hitomi or AJ, and she only briefly glanced up from her notes to greet them. But when she realized it was Camilla paused nervously in the doorway, Elsie stared blankly at her for a moment before scrambling to her feet.

"Uh..." Elsie eloquently began.

She quickly looked at the notes she had so far, but they had all depicted scenarios where Elsie approached Camilla first. It didn't take long before Elsie stuffed her notes into her pocket, determined to improvise. She was good at improv. She was a professional actress, after all.

"Hi," Elsie finally said after a long pause. And then her mind couldn't come up with anything else.

Camilla nodded once in return, then chewed her lip before pointing to Elsie's bed, her raised eyebrows asking the question for her voice.

"Oh, sure, yeah." Elsie understood immediately and she cleared the mess she had on her bed, only to pile the haphazard mixture of clothes and other belongings onto her pillow.

Once Elsie was finished and gestured to the newly cleared space in offering, Camilla carefully approached and sat gently at the edge of the mattress.

So she was willing to listen. Now, Elsie just had to explain their plan so far. She quickly pressed a button on her watch, a modified version of Hitomi's anti-eavesdropping device, and verified the appropriate lights turned on before returning to her seat and facing Camilla.

"I know that you've been avoiding me for some reason," Elsie began, her voice soft to account for the room's thin walls. "But I have something important to tell you. We have a plan in the works, but we need to know that you're okay with it. Can you at least hear me out?"

Camilla looked nervously at the ground by Elsie's feet, her lips quivering as if she wanted to say something. Even though all Elsie needed was a nonverbal yes or no, she wasn't going to interrupt Camilla if she actually wanted to say something.

Eventually, Camilla took a deep breath, and her eyes met Elsie's.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice shaky.

Elsie couldn't help her eyes from widening at Camilla's words. Did that mean Camilla wasn't willing to hear her out? They couldn't go through with their plan if Camilla wasn't going to be a part of it. That implied they would leave her behind, and Elsie refused to do that, no matter how much Camilla wanted to avoid her.

Suddenly, Elsie realized she was jumping to conclusions. She didn't actually know what Camilla was apologizing for, and only then did Elsie notice that Camilla looked like she had more to say.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," Camilla continued, her gaze drifting back to Elsie's feet. "And I'm sorry I pushed you away afterwards. I... it felt awful, but I wasn't sure what else to do. I was scared."

Elsie let out a long breath that she didn't realize she had been holding. So that's what Camilla meant.

"You didn't hurt me," Elsie insisted. "And... I admit, I was a little sad that you were avoiding me, but I'm sure you had your reasons."

Elsie watched Camilla, hoping she would confirm Elsie's words. Again, Camilla looked like she had more to say, but she hesitated.

"Did AJ tell you what went on in Farallon?" Camilla asked.

"A little," Elsie replied, trying her best not to remember how AJ explained what Hester might have done. "She said they were trying to take your memories. And Quentin said they were trying to find out how certain abilities worked."

Camilla nodded slowly. "That was part of it. But... there's more to that."

Her eyes finally met Elsie's again, as if questioning if she should continue. Whatever she had to say must have been big, so Elsie straightened her posture and steeled herself in preparation. Even if Elsie hadn't been able to be there for Camilla the past couple of weeks, she was there now, and she wanted to help as much as she could.

"I'm ready," Elsie said, determined.

---

It was a strange feeling to be engulfed by a feeling of numbness over another's experiences. But Elsie couldn't help but feel Camilla's pain as if it was her own, and the sensation was overwhelming. Even though she only had Camilla's words to go off of, Elsie's vivid imagination easily supplied the rest of the details, and it didn't take her long to understand why Camilla had acted the way she did, and why she couldn't and didn't want to use her abilities.

Not only had that Stein asshole forced Camilla to use her abilities in one of the worst ways possible, but Hester had conditioned Camilla to be even more afraid of her own abilities with the threat of physical pain. Elsie had wondered how Camilla had gotten the faint scar that circled around her neck; now she wasn't sure if she wanted to know.

"Elsie?" Camilla's voice was hesitant, and it took a moment for Elsie to lift her gaze in her response. "Are you okay?"

How could Camilla ask her that? None of that shit happened to Elsie; it was Elsie that should be asking Camilla that. But no matter how hard she tried, Elsie's voice couldn't find the words she needed.

At some point during Camilla's story, they went from sitting on opposite sides of the bed to right next to each other, close enough to touch but not doing so. It wasn't until that moment that Camilla put a tentative hand on Elsie's upper arm, then pulled her into a hug. After what Elsie had heard, and after seeing Camilla's fear that night when she accidentally took Elsie's energy, Elsie hadn't expected Camilla's physical touch at all. But now that she had it, Elsie felt herself melt into Camilla's arms, and she returned the embrace with one of her own.

"I'm sorry I took so long to tell you," Camilla muttered into Elsie's neck.

Elsie shook her head slightly, not wanting to jostle Camilla too much. "I don't blame you." She leaned back enough to look Camilla in the eyes and slip a few strands of hair behind one of her ears, trying to ignore the way Camilla's buzzed hair at the back of her head scratched Elsie's fingertips. "Thank you for telling me. It couldn't have been easy."

Camilla gave her a hint of a smile as she let her gaze travel down to their hands, and Camilla intertwined her hand with Elsie's.

"It wasn't," Camilla admitted. "But... I'm glad that I did. Even though I've spoken to AJ a few times, it's different with you." Camilla squeezed Elsie's hand and met her gaze. "You're different."

Elsie couldn't help but smile slightly. It had only been a couple weeks since she and Camilla had been this close, but she was overjoyed to finally have her back, and she couldn't hold back all of her emotions.

"Did AJ help at least?" Elsie asked, curious.

Camilla paused to think, then shrugged. "She's helpful in her own way."

Elsie let out a soft sigh. She wished she could help Camilla like AJ could. It's not that Elsie was jealous, but she just felt useless.

Her worry must have been obvious because Camilla continued.

"I don't expect you to help me out with everything I need," Camilla explained. Her thumb brushed against Elsie's knuckles reassuringly, a gesture Elsie recognized as one of her own habits. "You're my girlfriend, not my therapist."

"I know," Elsie admitted a bit glumly. "But I can't help it sometimes. I care about you, and I just feel bad when I can't help you."

Camilla chewed her lip before answering, hesitant.

"I appreciate how you and Hitomi always worry about me," she eventually said. "But whenever you do... it makes me feel like a burden."

"I don't think you're a burden," Elsie said immediately. "Not at all."

"I know," Camilla quickly answered, then sighed. "But that doesn't change how I feel. And... and I just need to get a break from that feeling sometimes. I know that sounds harsh, but I can't help it. Sometimes, I need someone less personal, something more like an ally, and less of a friend. Or girlfriend, for that matter. Does that make sense?"

Elsie felt like she at least partially understood where Camilla was getting at. She supposed that sometimes she would even feel the same.

"I think so," Elsie replied, unable to hide her disappointment from her voice. She guessed it was impossible to be both Camilla's girlfriend and be impersonal, no matter how much she wanted to help Camilla.

Of course, Camilla noticed Elsie's change in tone. "I'm sorry that's probably not what you wanted to hear. And I didn't mean to push you away, but I'm sorry for that too."

"Apology accepted," Elsie said, and she squeezed Camilla's hand as she spoke. "And I'm fine if you keep talking to AJ, but... could you let me know the next time you want me to stay away again?"

Camilla let out a small huff that was almost a laugh. "I hope it won't come to that again, but I'll try to let you know ahead of time so you can put it on your calendar."

Elsie grinned wide this time. But before she could say that she missed Camilla's snarky attitude, there was a violent pounding on the door. And a few seconds later, the door burst open.

Both Elsie and Camilla jumped and sprung to their feet. The last time someone barged through their door, Camilla was taken away and tortured for two months. Elsie didn't want to find out what would happen this time. She couldn't lose Camilla again.

So before she realized what she was doing or who they were up against, Elsie squeezed Camilla's hand before yanking Camilla behind her. Thankfully, Camilla was more surprised at the intrusion than Elsie, and she didn't resist as Elsie planted herself between Camilla and whoever wanted to hurt her.

"What the hell is going on?" Elsie exclaimed. Only after the words left her mouth did she recognize the intruders as five of the base's security metas.

"Just come with us quietly and no one has to get hurt," one of the metas ordered, reaching behind Elsie for Camilla.

Elsie blocked their reach with her body and kept both of her arms on Camilla at her back.

"Stay the fuck away from us," Elsie snapped back.

The leader dropped their hand to their side with a frustrated sigh.

"Look, we don't have a choice, okay?" they explained impatiently. "The higher-ups made their decision. They don't trust you guys, and they want to keep a closer eye on you all until they decide what to do next."

When they grabbed onto Elsie's arms next and tried to pry her away, Elsie felt Camilla's arms wrap around her waist, holding her tightly in place.

"We have contacts on the outside, remember?" Elsie said as she struggled to free her arms from their grasp. "We have a deal: our safety for supplies. And if they don't hear from us, they leak everything."

The leader stared at her, confused.

"You didn't hear?" they asked. And when Elsie could just stare back blankly, they continued. "Our last couple of runners couldn't make contact with them. Your friends? They disappeared. They're even on the news for it. That's part of why the higher-ups don't trust you anymore."

In her shock, Elsie's hold on Camilla loosened, and before she could recover, the metas had already pried her away from Camilla.

"Camilla!" Elsie exclaimed, futilely struggling against the guards that were dragging her away.

But she could only watch as Camilla backed herself against the wall, her eyes wide and looking as if she was lost in her memories again. Without her abilities and in her state of shock, it didn't take much for the guards to overpower her.

When they stepped away from her, Camilla fell helplessly to her hands and knees, her breaths short and her eyes even wider than before. After a second, Elsie knew exactly why: around Camilla's neck was a piece of thin, silver metal with a small red light that blinked in warning.

Elsie felt her heart begin to race in rage, and her pulse pounded so furiously that she could barely hear the guards conversing.

"What the hell?" one asked. "What do you have it set at?"

"Fifty percent, just like you said," another answered. "I don't know why she's like this."

In their confusion, Elsie took the chance to break free. She lowered herself quickly to the ground, causing her captors to stumble, then threw one of her elbows back, hoping to make contact with at least something. When she did, and she heard a startled grunt in response, Elsie didn't bother seeing what she hit. Instead, she lunged forward towards Camilla, shoving the other guards to the side as if they were nothing but flies.

"Camilla, are you alright?" Elsie asked as soon as she was crouched down in front of Camilla. "Can you hear me?"

But Camilla's gaze was still fixed to the ground, and her breathing only quickened in pace.

"Milla, it's me," Elsie continued. She didn't want to push Camilla's mind further away with physical contact, but Elsie was losing hope that her words could be heard. "Milla, it's Elsie. I'm right here, okay? I'm right here."

For a while, Camilla didn't respond, and Elsie didn't know what to do. She supposed she was grateful that at least the guards hadn't pulled them apart by now, but they weren't important. What was important was Camilla.

Finally, after a few long seconds, Camilla's breathing stumbled, and she choked in a deep breath. When she shakily lifted her head, her eyes were still wide and scared, but she was looking at Elsie instead of her nightmares.

"Elsie?" she asked, no louder than a breath.

"I'm here," Elsie said, letting one of her hands overlap with some of Camilla's fingers that were pressed firmly to the cold ground. "I'm right here."

Belatedly, Elsie heard some of the guards murmuring behind her, and before she registered what they were saying, four of them appeared besides her and Camilla.

"Wait!" Elsie exclaimed.

But it was too late. While two of them pulled Camilla to her feet by her arms and began dragging her from the room, the other two held Elsie down. Even with whatever abilities they had, they still struggled to keep Elsie under control as she thrashed around wildly under their hands.

"Let me go, you fucking assholes!" Elsie screamed.

But even her best attempts weren't enough, and Elsie could only watch as the other guards carried Camilla away. Just before they left the room, Camilla's head spun around, and she looked back at Elsie with pure, silent fear. And then she was gone. Elsie had let Camilla go once more.

---

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