Elsie

For the rest of that day. Elsie couldn't help but worry. She ended up sticking closer than ever to Camilla, adamantly holding onto her hand or arm as if she would disappear if Elsie let go. Elsie couldn't think about anything else besides trying to figure out what it was they were hiding from her.

She was so distracted that she couldn't even bother to feel hungry or thirsty or tired; she even ignored the food and water that some of the healers brought her out of pity, and her mind wouldn't let her rest long enough to fall asleep. Only once Elsie began to feel light-headed did she force herself to stomach some food and water, but only because she didn't want to trouble the healers with an unnecessary patient.

And with each day that Camilla didn't wake up, Elsie grew more worried.

Throughout that time, Elsie didn't see any sign of Hitomi, Mack, or even the two kids. In fact, aside from the healers, she didn't see anyone until several days later, when there was a soft tapping on the curtains around Camilla's bed as if someone was trying to knock. A second later, AJ entered, and she greeted Elsie with a stiff nod and a tight smile.

"How're you holding up?" AJ asked while she lingered awkwardly under the curtain.

"Fine," Elsie said automatically. Based on her claims, she had been fine for the past several days, once it became too exhausting to think of a real answer. While Mack and Hitomi may have easily been able to read through her lie, the only people that had been asking her that question were the healers that would stop by to check on Camilla.

But while the healers would simply nod at Elsie's default answer, AJ took a moment to look at Elsie searchingly before she glanced at Camilla and sighed.

"If you care about Camilla even half as much as I care about my brother, then I know you're lying," AJ replied.

At AJ's words, Elsie felt slightly guilty for trying to put on an act. She had heard from the healers that Ian Juneau wasn't doing too well, and even though he was technically awake, he didn't respond to anything around him. AJ would apparently spend most of her free time and energy trying to bring his mind back, but between doing that and also running around to help the healers with the other captives, the strain was visibly wearing her down.

But before Elsie could apologize, AJ continued.

"But I know what you mean," AJ said softly. "And... that's why I need to talk to you about something."

Immediately, Elsie felt like time stopped, or maybe only she was frozen. Was this it? Was AJ going to tell her what the others had been hiding from her? Elsie knew she had pressed both Mack and Hitomi for answers when she last saw them, but now that AJ was willing to give them, Elsie wasn't sure she wanted them anymore.

But avoiding answers meant that Elsie was simply running away from her problems, and she couldn't do that anymore. Camilla had stayed by her side that night in Elsie's condo, and she got herself captured because of that. The least Elsie could do was face this problem head-on.

"What's going on?" Elsie asked, determined to not let her hesitation show.

AJ's eyes glanced around before settling at the ground between them.

"We should probably talk in private," she finally replied.

Instinctively, Elsie's hold on Camilla's limp hand tightened ever so slightly.

"I'm not leaving her," Elsie stated firmly.

"Just for a moment," AJ insisted, then gestured vaguely behind her. "Hitomi can look after her."

Elsie looked at her skeptically. She hadn't seen Hitomi in days, and now AJ was volunteering her to stay by Camilla's side?

At Elsie's confusion, AJ spun around as if she expected to see someone there. When she realized there was nothing but the empty path that ran down the middle of the room, AJ craned her head out and looked to either side.

"What are you doing?" AJ asked someone out of Elsie's view.

"Sorry," Hitomi muttered quietly, and she stepped into view a moment later, her gaze not lifting from the ground.

Even though Elsie couldn't remember the last time she looked in a mirror, she knew that Hitomi looked just as bad as Elsie felt. Hitomi was known for normally exuding confidence and sass, and it was surreal to see her so subdued and hesitant. If that wasn't bad enough, her red-rimmed eyes and gaunt face, along with her lethargic movements, made Elsie realize how exhausted she felt herself.

"I will stay with her," Hitom nearly whispered, and her gaze lifted from the floor to rest on her cousin. "I... wanted to be with her anyway."

As reluctant as Elsie felt, she knew Hitomi probably wanted privacy as well, especially since she hadn't seen Camilla in days. Eventually, Elsie nodded, and she felt herself stiffly get to her feet to follow AJ out of the room.

Thankfully, they didn't go far, and AJ only needed to turn a few corners before finding a secluded area. It wasn't difficult though; while the base was a large maze of tunnels carved within the even larger mountain range, Exodos's numbers had dwindled too much to fill the base to even a quarter of its full capacity.

Once they situated themselves alongside some crates of rations and other supplies, AJ turned to Elsie, her expression serious.

"Do you know what they did at Farallon?" AJ immediately asked.

At first, Elsie was taken aback by AJ's sudden straightforwardness, and her mind stumbled around for an answer.

"Sort of?" she finally managed to say. "I remember what you showed me, back at my condo, but that was kinda vague. And your brother, Quentin, had mentioned they did... some kind of experiments..." Elsie felt herself falter as she tried to keep herself from imagining what they must have done to Camilla, but she forced herself to continue. "They wanted to research how certain meta-abilities worked, or something like that, especially the unique ones."

AJ nodded. "Ideally, they were hoping to replicate those abilities."

Elsie furrowed her eyebrows in confusion, not really sure where AJ was going with this and anxious about not being able to mentally prepare for what was to come.

"But that's only part of it," AJ continued, before pausing, pondering her next words. "Remember Hester? To her, there are some abilities where the data on them is less valuable than being able to use the ability itself. Camilla has one of those abilities, where Hester would rather use her powers rather than hold onto her for years hoping to somehow replicate it in someone else."

"But Hester works for the Org, right?" Elsie asked. "And the Org was already using Camilla's abilities for whatever they wanted. They didn't have to do..." she waved her hands wildly in front of her, "all of this to get what they already had."

"True," AJ agreed. "If they wanted to keep playing by the rules. But the Org has never done that, and our country isn't the only one.

"Having metas act as police is like having the army as your neighborhood security watch. It's overkill, but all of these countries still have to abide by the UN's rules. They're restricted, and if they still want to make sure they're ready for a war, they have to build up their firepower off-the-record."

Elsie felt her eyes grow wide. "A war? Isn't that a little much? I mean, since metas began appearing, the fight against Exodos seemed to be the only thing in the world remotely close to a war."

AJ shrugged helplessly. "As things are, a war is bound to happen eventually, and when it does, it's not just going to be against some terrorist group. It will be between countries, full-on militaries, guaranteed. The only question is when it's going to happen."

The situation sounded like something out of the movies Elsie was in, but that wasn't what was important.

"So what does this have to do with Camilla?" Elsie pressed, vowing to not let the conversation get off-topic again. "What did the Org want her to do that they couldn't do officially?"

"Whatever they wanted," AJ stated simply.

When AJ didn't elaborate, Elsie grew frustrated.

"Like what?" she pressed impatiently.

"That's it," AJ insisted. "They wanted her to do whatever they wanted. No matter what it was, they wanted her to follow orders exactly and without question. They wanted a perfect soldier, not a guardian with a personality and conscience that could interfere with their goals."

Oh. Elsie was finally starting to see where this was going, and she wasn't liking what was at the end of this story. But she already promised herself she wasn't going to run away, and she wasn't going to turn back now.

"What did they do to her?" Elsie asked softly, her voice almost too quiet for her own ears.

AJ was silent for a moment as she stared at Elsie with a look of pity. But why should Elsie be pitied? It was Camilla that had been wronged through all of this.

"It's... Hester's specialty," AJ finally explained. "Remember what I told you before? She's a sadist, and she knows how to hurt people to get what she wants.

"She knows how to hurt people in a way that the only thing they can focus on is the present, while the past and future become meaningless. And she keeps doing that until the past and future don't even exist anymore, and the present is just a hazy blur of suffering. At that point, it's easier just to let go of the present entirely, to step away from the pain as nothing more than a third party observer. That's when she strikes; that's when she takes over."

AJ's expression turned stiff and somber. "And that's when people lose themselves to her."

It was what was happening in the memory AJ had shown her months ago, Elsie realized. AJ had been losing control of herself over Hester's torture, so she decided to have her consciousness essentially play dead. But what had happened to Camilla? What had she done? As much as Elsie wanted to believe that Camilla and her stubbornness would never give in to such cruelty, how much pain did Camilla have to endure?

"And Camilla?" Elsie whispered.

AJ's gaze drifted to the ground before she could look at Elsie again.

"Look, I'm only telling you this because... I don't want you to get your hopes up, only to end up being disappointed later on," AJ said distractedly.

"Please," Elsie begged, already knowing what AJ was going to say. "Just say it already."

"Camilla might not remember anything when she wakes up," AJ finally blurted out. And in the silence that followed, while Elsie was trying to still comprehend her words, AJ continued. "Right before we escaped, she barely knew her own name, and yours. She didn't know Hitomi's, or anyone from her squad. She... she was scared of them, actually.

"And after what happened to her, after going through that pain of absorbing and trying to control that much energy..." AJ let out a long breath. "I can't even begin to predict the state her mind is in right now. I would try to look for myself, but it's too risky. I don't want to disturb something that could already be terribly unbalanced as it is."

But even though AJ kept talking, Elsie's mind couldn't move from what she said earlier: Camilla's memories had been taken from her. Camilla wouldn't remember any of them. And even though Elsie had tried to prepare herself for the revelation, hearing the news confirmed by someone else made it significantly worse.

Elsie hadn't realized she had stopped breathing until her vision became fuzzy. But by then it was too late, and even with AJ holding onto her, frantically telling her to breathe, Elsie couldn't seem to fill her lungs with air.

Elsie felt the ground hit her knees, but the force wasn't enough to jar her completely back into focus. It was enough, however, to make her aware of a familiar presence at her side, and Elsie could feel one of her hands grasping onto Mack's arm as if it was the only thing keeping her from drowning.

She had been so sure that once they got Camilla back, everything would work itself out. She thought the only thing they would have to worry about is keeping themselves hidden from the Org and not getting on Exodos's bad side. She figured that with Camilla by her side, they could do anything.

But she hadn't expected this. She hadn't expected to lose Camilla so soon.

"We don't know for sure yet, Elsie," Mack's voice sounded like a foggy echo in her ears. "There's still a chance..."

But when he trailed off, what he didn't say spoke volumes more than what he did. While it was true they didn't know anything for sure, even if there was a chance that Camilla would be perfectly fine, how likely was that? Even if he was optimistic, Elsie couldn't bring herself to feel the same, not anymore. After all, AJ had said it herself: Elsie shouldn't get her hopes up. And so she didn't.

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