Elsie

May 22, 34 AE

When loud screaming began echoing throughout the room, Elsie awoke without knowing what was going on, and before she realized she had been asleep in the first place. Still, she reacted instinctively, and when she jumped to her feet, the chair she had been sitting on clattered noisily to the floor behind her. Elsie didn't care though, and she hovered over Camilla worriedly, frantically wondering how she could help.

But Camilla looked the same as she had for the past week: unconscious, unmoving, and unresponsive. Compared to when she first arrived, her skin felt warmer and her breathing wasn't as ragged, but she still looked gaunt and frail. Elsie felt that if she squeezed her hand too hard, Camilla's bones would simply crumble into dust.

Even when the Exodos healers would stop by and assess her injuries, Elsie had to restrain herself from urging them to be gentle with Camilla, that her body might break under their ministrations. But no matter what they did, Camilla remained as still as stone, and the only thing that changed between the days were the bandages that were scattered across her pale skin, covering injuries that Elsie couldn't even fathom how they were received.

The screaming picked up again, and it wasn't until then that Elsie realized it was coming from another patient in the same room. As soon as she came to that realization, the sound of hurried footsteps rushed by just outside of the curtains surrounding Camilla's bed, and the activity caused the makeshift barrier to lift slightly with the wind. For a split second, Elsie could see one of the adjacent beds and its patient thrashing wildly around, screaming at a horror that no one else could see.

The curtain settled just as a group of metas arrived and tried to restrain the patient before they could hurt themselves or somebody else.

"Shit, not again," one of them muttered.

"We need AJ over here!" another exclaimed.

"I'll go look for her," a third replied, and their hurried footsteps rushed by Camilla's bed again as they dashed out of the room.

As the struggle against the patient continued, Elsie let out a shaky breath. It's not that she didn't feel sympathy for them, but she was just relieved that it hadn't been Camilla screaming like she had expected. Although, if Camilla remained unresponsive for much longer, any reaction would be preferred to nothing.

In the meantime though, Elsie was simply happy that Camilla's condition hadn't gotten worse like it had done during the first few days. Those times had been arguably just as bad as not knowing where Camilla was at all, since Camilla was right in front of her, but there was no guarantee that she would make it through the night. With at least that comfort in mind, Elsie righted her chair and seated herself back at Camilla's side, doing her best to ignore the screams as she did so.

Elsie was relatively used to the screaming by now, since Camilla shared a room with seven other Farallon captives and Elsie rarely left. Ever since Camilla had arrived, Elsie had stuck by her side like glue, refusing to let Camilla out of her sight again. She only left every few hours to go to the bathroom, but Elsie made sure to keep her trips no longer than a couple of minutes. Elsie knew she was being unreasonably clingy, but she couldn't help it. Not only did she not want to lose Camilla again, but she didn't want Camilla to be alone again either, especially when she woke up in an unfamiliar place.

It didn't take long for Elsie to tune out the ruckus next door in favor of focusing on Camilla and the way that her chest shakily moved up and down to show she was still breathing. At the same time, Elsie held one of Camilla's hands with both of her own, and she gently brushed a thumb along Camilla's knuckles to the beat of her breathing. She didn't know if the gesture was comforting, or if Camilla even knew Elsie was there, but Elsie didn't know what else she could do. She felt completely powerless.

"How's it going?" Mack's voice suddenly sounded from beside her.

Elsie tensed up a little in surprise, then quickly relaxed when she realized she accidentally squeezed Camilla's hand too tightly. After quickly checking to make sure she hadn't visibly hurt Camilla, Elsie turned to Mack.

Compared to Camilla, Mack didn't look significantly better, but he tried to mask his fatigue with his signature grin. Although it had since turned a little lopsided after the war with Exodos, that didn't stop him from attempting to use it as a cover.

"She hasn't changed much," Elsie replied, and she couldn't help but turn back to Camilla. "She hasn't had a fever for a few days and the healers say that her cells look completely stable now, but they said she hasn't been using any of her abilities unconsciously like they expected. Because of that... they're still not sure when she's going to wake up." Elsie let out a soft sigh as she chewed her bottom lip with worry. "I guess it's already a miracle that Exodos is letting us stay here at all. I think AJ had something to do with it though."

"I heard," Mack said. He felt around the foot of Camilla's bed to make sure there was nothing under the covers before he sat down, and he continued in a lowered voice, leaning closer to Elsie. "AJ made it very well known that she doesn't agree with their code of ethics, and most of the healers agree with her. Honestly, I'd rather not stick around to see if they end up having a civil war, but we really don't have any place to go."

He cleared his throat and sat up straight again. "But that's not what I was asking about. How are you, Elsie?"

How was she? She was worried; worried about Camilla and if she was ever going to recover from whatever they had done to her. She was worried about her family and what they must think of her. She was worried about Minyoung and Jordan and how they were faring in the outside world. She was even worried about her friends here, about Mack, Hitomi, Nakia, and Finn, and how they would deal with the world turning against them.

And she was scared. She was scared that one day, Exodos was going to kill them in their sleep for being a burden. She was scared that the Org would find them and kill them, or worse, take Camilla back to whatever hell they put her through.

She was anxious and angry, doubtful and disoriented. She felt so many things that she didn't know what she was anymore.

"I... I don't know," Elsie finally whispered. "I just know that I want Camilla to get better. Anything more than that... and I'm worried that I won't be able to keep it all together."

She didn't know if that made sense, but thankfully Mack didn't press her for more of an explanation.

"How's Hitomi?" Elsie asked instead.

"She woke up yesterday, actually," Mack easily continued the conversation. "Her first concern was making sure Camilla was alright. Her second was making sure that no one would tell Camilla what happened. Apparently, Hitomi gave Camilla a lot of trouble after the Games for putting herself in a coma, and she didn't want Camilla throwing her words back at her."

Elsie let out a small breath of laughter. She knew that Hitomi had a habit of showing her concern for Camilla through a lot of nagging and teasing, and she knew Camilla appreciated it as well, even though she always made a point to be annoyed by all the fuss.

"And the kids?" Elsie continued.

Mack sighed. "Not as great, unfortunately. Finn's obviously miserable, and he can't stop worrying about his mom and how the Org might treat her when they find out her only kid is a fugitive. That, and there's no one else that would take care of her. I know we established that Jordan and Minyoung would keep tabs on her, and we knew it might be difficult at first if the Org also has their eyes on them, but... he's just a kid, you know?"

Elsie nodded, trying not to remind herself of her regret for bringing Finn into this. "And Nakia?"

"Trying to act fine, but failing miserably, of course." Mack shrugged helplessly. "Apparently, they heard about some interview with Amira. Someone asked Amira how she felt about her sibling being a fugitive, and Amira replied that, regardless of who they were, they broke the law, and she would see that justice was served. Nakia obviously didn't take that too well. You might not know this, but those two are close. Or, I guess, they were. I think Nakia thought that Amira would understand."

Again, Elsie had to stifle her guilt. She couldn't change the past, no matter how much she wanted to.

"And how are you?" Elsie eventually asked.

Mack chuckled weakly and shrugged again. "As good as I could be, given our situation, I guess. I don't have family like you guys do, so I didn't have any qualms about helping out. But now that everything's happened already, and I've looked back on it all, I wish I had told the kids to stay out of this whole mess before they got in too deep. With Camilla gone... they were my responsibility. And I let them and Camilla down."

"I agreed to let them help in the first place," Elsie assured, even though she had just shared Mack's thoughts mere seconds ago. "And you do have family, Mack. It's us. And Jordan and Minyoung, of course."

Elsie's words brought a small smile to Mack's face, and he let out a weak chuckle. "I'm definitely taking Jordan, but you can keep Minyoung. I'm pretty sure he hates me anyway."

For a few minutes, the two traded their best stories on Minyoung's trademark fits of rage, then fell into a lull of silence. Elsie idly began brushing her thumb against Camilla's fingers again, only stopping when she noticed some of Camilla's hair had fallen out of place, and she leaned forward to tuck it behind her ear.

"She'll be okay though, right?" Elsie asked him, her hand lingering on Camilla's hair. Without realizing it, Elsie's fingers drifted to the back of Camilla's head, just above her neck, where her hair had been buzzed short for some surgery AJ had mentioned. "I know you probably can't use your abilities just yet, but... based on what you know, do you think she'll be alright eventually?"

Elsie expected Mack to say yes, of course she would be, then make some joke about how Camilla was too stubborn for her own good to be anything but okay. So when Mack hesitated for a moment too long, Elsie turned to him, worried.

"Mack?" she asked tentatively at the sight of his nervous expression.

He was saved from answering when one of the curtains was lifted, and AJ poked her head in.

"Sorry to bother you two," AJ said, glancing between the two of them. "But I heard Mack's voice and was wondering if he could lend his abilities for a moment." She jabbed a thumb behind her, where the patient that had been screaming not long ago now lay calmly, but the metas around them looked exhausted. Elsie had completely forgotten about the situation next door once she had managed to tune out the noise.

"I can help," Mack said quickly, instantly jumping to his feet.

He didn't look ready, judging by the way he immediately began to sway unsteadily from the sudden movement, and Elsie was under the impression that Mack's abilities didn't work yet. Most likely, he was just trying to get out of having to answer her.

As much as Elsie wanted to stop him and make him cut the crap, she let him off the hook for now with the knowledge that she could interrogate him the next time he visited.

Except she didn't see Mack the next day, or the day after that. By then, Hitomi was well enough to stop by, and she explained that Mack had to rest more after he helped AJ out too much during her rounds. And Elsie believed her at first, until she offhandedly posed the same question to Hitomi and asked if she thought Camilla would be alright.

"I... do believe she will wake up," Hitomi replied after a brief pause.

"That's not what I asked," Elsie pressed.

"That is all I can say for sure," Hitomi simply replied as if her hands were tied.

"But I didn't ask what you knew for sure," Elsie argued. "I asked what you thought." She narrowed her eyes suspiciously. "What are you not telling me?"

Hitomi looked at her, exaggerating confusion. "Nothing."

"Really?" Elsie replied, incredulous. "Because it doesn't sound like it. It sounds like you and Mack know something, something about Camilla, and you want to keep it from me. Why? What's wrong?"

After Hitomi hesitated for a few seconds, her gaze drifted towards Camilla. "I... I do not know if I can tell you."

Elsie was glad that she had let go of Camilla's hand before she clenched her own hands into angry fists. "Why the fuck not? Why don't I have the right to know?"

"That is not what I meant," Hitomi quickly interjected, but it took her a moment and a deep breath to be able to slowly continue. And when she did, her voice sounded choked. "I meant... I do not know if I am able to say it myself."

Seeing Hitomi's normal composure be overcome by an expression of fear and helplessness did nothing but make Elsie's heart drop. And she still didn't even know what was going on.

"Please, Hitomi," Elsie begged, not bothering to hide her desperation. "Please tell me what's going on. What's wrong with Camilla?"

For a moment, it looked like Hitomi was going to comply. But when she opened her mouth no sound came out, and Hitomi dropped her head a second later.

"I am sorry," she quickly muttered, unable to conceal the sound of tears in her voice. With that, Hitomi quickly got to her feet and rushed through the curtains and out of the room, not bothering to look back.

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