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Camilla

When Camilla opened her eyes, her vision was filled with white. It was so bright, it was blinding, and she squeezed her eyes shut almost immediately. The chill that swept through her didn't help, and she curled up into a tight ball to keep the cold at bay.

"You should come inside, if you're cold," Elsie's voice echoed through the air, and Camilla instantly opened her eyes again.

She had been lying on the ground, she realized, and the cold was from the snow that surrounded her. The sky was just as white as the ground, thick with cotton ball clouds, and when Camilla sat upright, the wintry scene extended as far as she could see.

"Did you want some?" Elsie's voice asked from right beside her.

Camilla hadn't heard Elsie approach her, and she spun around in surprise. Her shocked reaction must have looked ridiculous, because Elsie began to chuckle.

"It's just me," Elsie said, and her smile filled Camilla with a warmth that eased the sharp chill that was seeping into her bones. "Me, and some hot chocolate. With marshmallows, of course."

Camilla accepted the mug Elsie handed to her and peered inside. It definitely looked like hot chocolate, but when Camilla took a sip it tasted more like a soupy concoction of thick, lukewarm metal. She hid her grimace as best as she could and peered up at Elsie.

Thanks, she tried to say, but no words left her.

"It's terrible, isn't it?" Elsie chuckled, and she sat in the snow next to Camilla. "I figured." She took the mug from Camilla's hands and set it with her own on the ground at her other side. "I guess I'll have to keep you warm myself."

When Elsie wrapped her arms around Camilla, Camilla happily leaned into her. Elsie's closeness was enough to bring a smile to Camilla's face, making her forget about the aftertaste of iron that lingered on her tongue. But even though Camilla's heart was warm, she still felt cold, and the shiver that ran through her body gave it away.

"You're still cold, huh?" Elsie asked softly against Camilla's ear, before pressing a gentle kiss to the side of her head. "I guess your clothes don't really do any good. I wish I could give you something warmer to wear."

Camilla turned to look at Elsie, confused. But when Elsie's expression didn't tell her anything, Camilla looked down at her clothes herself.

For some reason, she had on a baggy, short-sleeved blouse with buttons running down the front and a pair of loose shorts, both made out of thin, white fabric. She was wearing nothing else; even her feet were left bare. And she was sitting in the snow.

As Camilla leaned forward to scramble to her feet, she felt a sharp pain in her lower back, and her head began to throb incessantly. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to breathe through the pain, but it didn't do much good.

"Try not to move," Elsie muttered in her ear, and she placed a hand gently on Camilla's lower back where the pain had erupted from. "They said it might be uncomfortable for a while—they couldn't give you anesthetics, after all."

Camilla looked at Elsie again, but Elsie didn't look like she had said anything out of the ordinary.

What are you talking about? Camilla wanted to ask, but she still couldn't get her voice to work.

Elsie must have noticed Camilla's confusion because her expression turned into one of pity, and she placed a hand gently on Camilla's face. At that moment, Camilla realized something was wrong: Elsie's hands felt like ice.

"This isn't real, Camilla," Elsie whispered, and her voice suddenly sounded like it was coming from miles away. "You're dreaming."

For a moment, Camilla felt like she couldn't breathe, and whatever warmth she had felt in her chest immediately went cold.

"It's okay though," Elsie said, and she gave Camilla a small but reassuring smile. "I'll be here whenever you need me. I won't leave you, so just hang in there, okay?"

As soon as she said those words, Camilla's vision became blurry and her world began to turn. Her body automatically splayed out on the icy ground, and she squeezed her eyes and mouth shut to stave off her impending nausea. She felt around blindly for Elsie, desperately needing something to anchor herself on to, but Elsie was gone. All that remained of her was her voice echoing in Camilla's mind.

It's okay...

I'll be here...

I won't leave you...

Just hang in there...

Camilla's eyes burst open. Around her, the world had stilled, but she still felt like she wanted to throw up. After blinking a few times, the room came into focus, but there wasn't much to see. It was only six sides of plain white, from the barren ceiling to the cold, concrete floor. The only noticeable features were the door on one wall and the four security cameras watching her from each of the room's upper corners.

As expected, it looked exactly the same as Camilla had remembered from before she got taken away by the nameless wardens. They, too, had been dressed in all white, and they remained deaf to Camilla's questions as they led her to what was essentially Camilla's second cell, a room that looked no different than a hospital operating theater, complete with scientists in long, white lab coats. Camilla didn't know why she even bothered to keep asking her questions; they had never told her anything the first couple dozen times, and it wasn't likely they were going to change anytime soon. After all, it was the same routine every time. The only thing that differed was what awaited Camilla in that room.

The first time had to have been the worst simply because she hadn't known what to expect. In retrospect, it hadn't been that bad since all they did was take blood samples from her, and it was nothing compared to her most recent trip. Camilla wasn't entirely sure what had happened this time, but she did remember the scientists handling a long needle, then a blinding pain centered at her low back. Eventually, it had been enough to make her pass out, and she wasn't sure how much time had gone by since then.

Although, seeing Elsie had been a nice change in pace. Camilla didn't mind passing out if that meant she could be with Elsie, even though she wasn't real.

The only person that spoke to Camilla was a meta named AJ. Camilla didn't trust the woman, especially since AJ had already proven countless times that she could control Camilla if she wanted. Plus, AJ's presence in the second room meant that whatever was in store for Camilla was bad enough to warrant a meta that could keep Camilla from moving. Still, there were times when her company was better than nothing, and at least AJ tried to provide comfort where she could.

Camilla had seen AJ during her last trip to the room, and Camilla could still remember the weight of AJ's hands on either side of her head, forcing her brain to keep her body still. At the same time, AJ had tried to keep Camilla's mind occupied from the pain by reminding Camilla of what made her happy, just like she had tried to do during every one of their meetings.

Elsie makes me happy, Camilla had admitted during her fourth run-in with AJ, after ignoring her the first three times out of distrust and spite. And you people took her from me.

Elsie's fine, AJ had insisted. She's safe. But your memories of her... I suggest you keep them close.

Why? Camilla had replied. So you can use them against me somehow?

I promise you I would never do that. But these people... they may try to take them from you, so hold on to them while you can.

Camilla's hand moved unconsciously towards her neck, as if holding Elsie's key would keep the memories of her from leaving. It took her a moment to remember that the key had been taken from her long ago, and although the weight of metal that had taken its place was familiar, it was anything but comforting. While Elsie's key had provided warmth and peace, the heavy metal collar on Camilla's neck only stirred up memories of pain and fear.

Since the moment she arrived, it weighed down on her, threatening to send a wave of electricity through her if she even gathered the energy to use her abilities. And as much as Camilla wanted to show that she wasn't affected by it, that they couldn't condition her to resist doing what came naturally to her, she couldn't help but hesitate every time she wanted to use her abilities for the simplest tasks. Even if all she wanted to do was warm the cell's icy floor before she had to sleep on it, she would bear with the cold simply out of fear. It was a sadistic method, but it worked, and Camilla could only think of one person who could be responsible for such an idea.

As if right on cue, the lock on her cell door clicked, and the familiar clacking of heels came shortly after. It was the first time Camilla had seen Hester since the night in Elsie's condo, and while her initial reaction was to keep as much distance between them as possible, Camilla held her ground at the sight of Hester's face. Because even though the woman's face was caked with its usual amount of make-up, it couldn't hide the deformed skin that stretched from around her left eye to just above the corner of her mouth.

On the night they had taken Camilla away, Camilla hadn't been certain that her attack against them had worked, or what the effects would be. All she knew was that she wanted to take away their energy to keep them from hurting Elsie and herself. Evidently, it had worked, and while some meta had tried their best to heal it, some of the damage had been permanent.

Hester and her loud heels walked up to Camilla, stopping just in front of her as if Hester was daring Camilla to attack. To make matters worse, Hester waved her hand causally in the air, and the temperature in the room quickly dropped at least ten degrees. Camilla tried her best not to not react, but she had been freezing before Hester had even appeared, and Camilla shivered against her will. Infuriatingly, Hester huffed out a breath of laughter.

"I've been waiting a long time for this moment," Hester said with a sneer, and even though only half of her mouth could form a smirk, it didn't make her any less sinister. "For years, I've waited to see you and your arrogance put in its place, to see you right here where you belong." She sighed, as if she was reminiscing. "Now that we've finally finished gathering the initial data, the real fun can begin."

"You don't have anything better to do?" Camilla replied, only just realizing that her voice sounded like sandpaper. And the slight movement from talking filled her mouth with the taste of iron—the taste of blood.

But Camilla's weak attempt at rebellion had absolutely no effect, and Hester's crooked smile remained.

"If you weren't so goddamn irritating, I'd want you to take my advice: cooperate, and you'll make this as painless as possible. Except that would make things boring, and honestly, it's refreshing to see you suffer.

"But really, there's no point in struggling," Hester continued, her voice taking on a tone of exaggerated dramatics. "Believe me, others have tried. They've all tried to resist, in the names of those they left behind." Hester's cackle that followed made the air feel even colder. "It's so ridiculous, it's hilarious. They don't even realize the truth. But I'll let you in on the secret, just to make things that much more entertaining."

When Hester knelt down, her face right in front of Camilla's, it took all of Camilla's willpower to not move away.

"The one that you're holding onto? The actress?" Hester's grin was wide. "She thinks you're dead. The whole world thinks you're dead. Everyone thinks what I want them to think: that you threatened her life when you tried to escape, and that I had to kill you to save her."

Camilla felt her eyes go wide, but she couldn't help it. There was no way that could have been true, and Elsie would never believe such a ridiculous story. This was Hester talking after all. She had to be lying, just to get a thrill out of Camilla's reaction.

"You think I'm lying, don't you?" Hester guessed correctly, and she sighed. "I guess I can't say I'm surprised. Tell you what: you can use your abilities to see if I'm lying, can't you?"

Hester took a small remote controller out from a pocket on her lab coat and pressed a button.

"Go on, try it," she urged, pointing her chin at the device on Camilla's neck. "I disabled it. Go on, see if I'm lying."

As tempted as Camilla was to use her abilities, she didn't want to do that just because Hester wanted her to. It was possible that Hester could've been lying about disabling the device, and she just wanted to see Camilla getting electrocuted with her own eyes. The second possibility was that Hester just wanted a chance to prove that her conditioning had worked and that Camilla was scared to use her own abilities. And there was the third option that Camilla didn't want to think about, where Hester was being truthful about everything she just said.

"What's wrong?" Hester asked innocently. She brought one of her hands to Camilla's face and brushed a sharp nail down one of her cheeks. "Don't be scared. It won't hurt you, I promise."

Hester's laughter that followed was enough to set Camilla off. Although Camilla was lacking in energy, she began to muster what she could. But as soon as she did, a soft beep sounded from the collar around her neck, and Camilla froze, bracing herself for the imminent shock that would normally follow.

But it never came.

Hester began to laugh maniacally, as if Camilla had said something hilarious.

"That was amazing!" she cackled. "Absolutely perfect."

Once she had settled down, and Camilla's panic had almost completely subsided, Hester continued.

"But really, try again," Heater urged with a pleasant smile.

This time, Camilla ignored the sound the collar made when she reached her energy out through the air and towards Hester, refusing to be beaten again.

"Are you ready?" Hester asked, giddy. "Listen closely now. The entire world, including your friends, including Miss Elsie Bates, thinks you're a traitor. Everyone thinks you were a member of Exodos, and you threatened to kill Miss Bates when we tried to stop you. They all think that I killed you to save her... and no one is looking for you." Hester's smile was sick and sinister. "So? Am I lying?"

Camilla felt her world turning upside down again, and she felt like she was going to throw up. Hester was telling the truth.

The sound of Hester laughing was muffled and disoriented, as were the words she said after that, as if Camilla was hearing her from underwater. Camilla only had enough sense left in her to pull back her energy when a shock of electricity zapped at her neck, but that was more of an instinctual reaction than an intentional one.

She felt as if her entire world had ended, and how could she not? Camilla had lost everything. She lost Elsie. She lost Hitomi. She lost her friends, her squad, and her life. And she lost what little hope she had left that believed a miracle could still happen. What did she have left? For what reason was she still holding on?

It's okay.

I'll be here.

I won't leave you.

Just hang in there.

But it was a lie. Camilla hated liars, yet she had been lying to herself this whole time. The Elsie she imagined gave her nothing but false hope. Nothing was okay, and Camilla had no reason to keep fighting anymore.

The sound of Hester's laughter kept getting louder and louder, and Camilla couldn't bear listening to it any longer. With no particular goal in mind, she forced herself to ignore her instincts and gathered energy as if she was using her abilities. Electricity immediately began surging through her, and Hester's laughter only began to echo in Camilla's mind, but Camilla didn't back down. She couldn't keep listening to Hester, and she couldn't keep feeling this pain that ached her entire soul.

So she kept gathering energy, letting the electricity grow stronger and stronger, focusing on wanting nothing more than for all of this to end. And when it did, when she felt her body go limp and her mind begin to shutter, and the sound of Hester's laughter finally grew weaker, Camilla welcomed the silence and the darkness that accompanied it.

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