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Chapter 48: Struggles in Paradise

The last stop of the filming's around-the-world tour was Honolulu, and unlike Camilla's reaction to San Francisco, Mack was eager to tell every person that was willing to listen how excited he was to be traveling back to his hometown. Most people he knew had no qualms about ignoring his excited chatter. But Pala, who was too polite to do otherwise, was forced to listen to him for the drive between their hotel and Incheon International Airport, then for the time they had to wait for their planes to be ready. Unfortunately for Mack, Camilla dragged Pala away when their military transport was ready, and Camilla didn't stick around to see who his next victim would be.

Their arrival at Honolulu International Airport was met with excited fans for all of the celebrities in the crew's entourage: Jordan and Minyoung's fans definitely won in numbers, while Elsie and Mack's made up for the difference with their voices. They all managed to get through the crowd in one piece, only to get stopped by the city's typical traffic delays. When they finally did arrive at their hotel in Waikiki, they were greeted by even more fans, but thankfully at a significantly lesser amount.

With their return to US soil, the Lee Squad felt a mixture of relief and tension. Although they now had the full support of the local guardians, there was also a higher chance of an Exodos attack. While the islands of Hawaii had yet to experience Exodos's fury, they also never had a reason to be subject to it.

Normally, the guardian presence in the isolated state was minimal, but the film crew with their security presence changed that. The most Camilla could do was hope that they didn't bring the wrath of Exodos to the peaceful islands, and if they had, that she would be strong enough to protect everyone.

Shooting the final battle scenes was supposed to be a long and tedious process spanning over two and a half weeks. The majority of the filming would take place at Diamond Head, a relatively small mountain with an open crater and defunct military structures, with other minor locations dispersed in between.

For the first week, it was business as usual, with the only differences between the other cities were the friendlier locals and the warmer nights. It was the days leading up to the second week that made Camilla nervous, mainly because it was the week that they would shoot the climax of the final battle.

With the exception of Mack, everyone in their squad had agreed to the offer of playing extras in the final battle. While Camilla didn't know her colleagues' reasons for volunteering, she thought her own was rather selfish: she wanted a way to commemorate this entire experience. It was also amusing to imagine how Blaire would be furious if the Wyatt name was listed under the credits as one of the many "Allies."

Still, the thought of being in front of a camera with the entire crew watching made her self-conscious, and she could already picture the other extras criticizing her for ruining the scene and how it didn't matter how powerful her abilities were if she was useless at using them.

Camilla's self-doubt only increased when, at the end of the first week, she was responsible for keeping Elsie and one of the villains hovering in the air for an aerial close combat scene, and Elsie accidentally took a solid kick to the stomach. Even though Mack easily determined that Elsie would only have minor bruising, everyone involved felt responsible in some way, and Camilla was definitely no exception.

While Elsie insisted that Camilla had done everything she was supposed to, she most likely only said that for Camilla's peace of mind. What made it worse was that, even though the timing of the kick had been slightly early, Elsie still felt like she could've avoided a direct hit had she not been so mindlessly focused on following the fight choreography perfectly, and Camilla couldn't persuade her to think otherwise.

Just as Camilla was contemplating rescinding her voluntary assignment, she received a perfectly timed text: Hitomi just arrived in Honolulu for a brief vacation and wanted to know if Camilla needed help with anything. And just a few hours later, early in the evening, Hitomi was in Camilla's hotel room listening to Camilla's predicament.

"Do you want my honest opinion, Mitaka?" Hitomi asked once Camilla finished her summary.

"Not really," Camilla replied honestly. "But that's never stopped you."

"Very true," Hitomi agreed. "Anyway, I know you, and I know that you're afraid of failure. But when you don't think about that, you're usually successful at whatever you're trying to do."

"You better not be telling me to just not think about it," Camilla said bitterly.

"Let me finish," Hitomi scolded. "Name a situation where you don't really care about messing up."

Camilla didn't have to think long to come up with an answer, but she only meant it sarcastically. "When I'm trying to spite someone else and I'd rather mess up than succeed."

"That works," Hitomi said, her agreement catching Camilla off-guard. "Try and think that even if you mess up, at least you'll be making Blaire or the Org look bad, not yourself."

In theory, it made sense, and a part of Camilla thought that mindset actually might work. But she was also worried that when it came time to actually do something, her mind would default to her old perfectionist ways.

For a brief, fleeting moment, Camilla realized how easy this would've been under the influence of the Org's drugs since she wouldn't have a care in the world, then immediately chastised herself for thinking such a terrible thing. No situation was worth subjecting herself to that prison again.

Hitomi easily sensed her internal debate, and she held one of Camilla's shoulders comfortingly.

"It's just another mission," Hitomi suggested. "How about that?"

The thought was a little reassuring and Camilla nodded, even though she was still not entirely convinced.

Their discussion moved on to other topics and continued until Camilla received additional visitors at her room. Apparently, the Song brothers had gotten bored with nothing to translate anymore, so Mack dragged them to Camilla's for a little social gathering, with Elsie in tow. Without a good reason to turn them away, Camilla let them in, her gaze immediately going to Elsie.

Ever since the accident, Elsie had seemed a little distant and out-of-character. As much as Camilla wanted to help, she wasn't sure what Elsie needed, so she did what she knew how and gave Elsie a small smile when she walked by. While Elsie returned the gesture, something still seemed wrong, and Camilla felt more unsure than before.

"Sorry about bringing them here," Mack muttered when he hung back with Camilla at the entryway. "They all needed to get out of their rooms, Elsie especially. And I figured she would want your company."

"What am I going to do?" Camilla asked, completely at a loss for how to handle emotional situations in a healthy manner.

"I'm sure you'll think of something, because I have no idea either," Mack offered unhelpfully before escaping to the main area with everyone else.

Camilla's room was definitely not big enough for six adults to live comfortably in, but they all seemed fine with the limited space as they made themselves at home. Though she was slightly surprised that they all had met Hitomi at some point before.

She was there when Elsie met her cousin at the Games charity dinner and when Mack had last seen her the year before in their current city, but Camilla hadn't realized that Hitomi had been in touch with the Song brothers immediately after the attack on the Games. As it turned out, Hitomi had kept Jordan informed about the situation while Elsie was still unconscious, and she had immediately brought Minyoung in the loop as soon as he arrived.

What was more surprising, as well as concerning, was how Elsie reacted to the impromptu event. Instead of trying to converse with everyone about everything and suggesting random activities for them to do, she hung off to the side and kept her interactions with everyone to a minimum. The others tried to give her space and carry on as if nothing was amiss, but Camilla could sense a slight sense of uneasiness in the room. Hitomi definitely noticed it too, and after about half an hour, she made eye contact with Camilla from across the room and raised an eyebrow in question.

Are you going to do something? her look asked.

But Camilla still didn't know what she could possibly do, or if she could even do anything at all, and she definitely didn't have a plan of any kind. Eventually, she needed a break from it all, and she silently slipped out of the room and onto the small balcony. Since it was a cheaper room, the balcony overlooked the Honolulu city lights instead of the moonlit waters of Waikiki, but Camilla needed the fresh air more than she needed the view.

When the balcony door opened a few minutes later, Camilla wasn't surprised to feel Elsie's presence joining her. With just the two of them out there, without the interference of everyone's energies combining into one, the abnormalities of Elsie's aura were much more obvious. In fact, they were so strong that Camilla felt one of the emotions as if it was her own, and a wave of regret washed over her. It was a feeling that Camilla was used to, but it felt wrong coming from Elsie.

Elsie joined Camilla at the balcony railing and leaned against it with her arms folded on top. The awkward silence that followed was unusually painful for Camilla, who normally was fine in such situations. Maybe she had gotten used to the near constant chatter from being around Elsie all the time, or maybe her discomfort had to do with the turbulent emotions rolling off of Elsie. Either way, Camilla had to do something; or rather, she wanted to do something.

Since she wasn't good with words, Camilla reached out to Elsie's arm, freezing with her hand just shy of Elsie's elbow. While Camilla had grown more accustomed to physical contact over the past few weeks, she had never initiated it herself. Yet she didn't feel as uncomfortable as she thought she would be with her hand hovering less than an inch from Elsie's skin. Actually, the fact that she had gotten that far without even thinking about it was a surprise all on its own, and that realization was enough encouragement for Camilla to settle her hand on Elsie's arm.

But once she did so, it still didn't feel like enough, and Camilla tried to put herself in Elsie's shoes. It wasn't hard, since Camilla was familiar with the feeling of regret, and her instinctual coping mechanism would be to distance herself from everyone. And since that was exactly what Elsie had done by leaving the main party to join the quieter alternative, then maybe Camilla had to think of what Elsie would do in her position.

"Hey," Camilla said softly, and waited for Elsie's eyes to meet hers.

Her gaze moved slowly, as if her mind was someplace else, but her eyes eventually reached Camilla's. Once they did, Camilla pulled gently on her arm, and Elsie let herself be moved from the railing and turned to face Camilla.

Elsie's movements were sluggish, as if her body was dragging around weights, and the look in her eyes showed she was tired of doing so. And even though Camilla could use her abilities to feel Elsie's internal struggles, they were useless in doing anything about them. So instead, she did what Elsie would've done and took a tentative step closer, then slowly wrapped her arms around Elsie.

Her uncharacteristic actions must have caught Elsie by surprise since she stood motionless for a moment. Finally, the tension lifted and Elsie returned the hug, squeezing Camilla tight and burying her face in Camilla's neck.

They stood like that for several minutes, and Camilla refused to move unless Elsie indicated that she wanted her to. Even when the additional body heat in the Hawaii summer night made it uncomfortably warm, Camilla simply used her abilities to transfer the thermal energy elsewhere. Eventually, Elsie must have realized what Camilla was doing because she began to chuckle.

"A good hug and outdoor temperature control?" Elsie murmured, her voice brushing gently against Camilla's ear. "I must've won the lottery."

"That's impossible," Camilla replied, her own voice muffled by Elsie's shoulder. "The lottery's illegal here."

"Mack told you that, huh?"

"Along with a bunch of other fun facts no one asked for."

Eventually, they both grew tired of standing around, and since the only chair had some suspicious stains on the seat, they agreed that the balcony floor was actually the safer option. They sat together against one of the walls shared with the neighboring unit, Camilla taking the seat closer to the railing. Through an opening in the curtains, the others looked to be doing alright in entertaining themselves, so Camilla and Elsie figured they had several minutes of uninterrupted peace and quiet.

"Sorry about that," Elsie apologized sheepishly. "I don't know what's gotten into me."

"It's fine," Camilla replied. "And... well, I know you said you're not very good at talking about... things... but if you wanted to, I could try and listen."

Camilla felt slightly guilty that she struggled to say such simple words, but her discomfort ended up getting another chuckle from Elsie.

"As much as I'd rather not have to put you through such torture..." Elsie's small smile began to fade as she sighed. "I do need to get this off my chest, and you're probably the one that would understand it the most."

If what Elsie needed to get off her chest was at all related to the regretful energy that surrounded her, then she was completely right in assuming that Camilla would understand her.

"I'll try my best," Camilla said. "But I can't guarantee one hundred percent customer satisfaction, though."

Elsie smiled slightly again before sobering up completely.

"I know I said this already," she began. "But I'm sorry about what happened earlier, with me getting kicked. It wasn't your fault. And I know you're going to say again that it wasn't my fault either, but... to me, it feels like it was something I could have at least prevented. If I had been more focused and immersed in that scene, rather than just going through the motions, I could have reacted in time.

"And as much as I just wanted to shake it off as no big deal, it really got me thinking that maybe... maybe I've fallen too far behind as an actor. I started thinking that maybe I'm not cut out for this anymore. And I hate thinking that. I love acting and I want to keep doing it for as long as I can, but these days, it's gotten harder.

"I guess it's all because I'm considered 'controversial.'" She made air quotes with her fingers, then sighed again. "I don't regret calling people out on their shit, but it definitely hasn't made things easy. I've gotten less jobs because of it, and I'm losing opportunities to improve and stay relevant, and... I'm just worried I'm falling behind because of what I've done. I guess I regret not being able to do more, but I don't know what else I'd even be able to do."

Camilla didn't know much about how the entertainment industry worked, but she did understand the frustration of not being able to do more. She also knew that there was nothing she could say to Elsie that would get rid of that feeling, not permanently. So instead, she did the only thing she could and quietly rested her head on Elsie's shoulder.

They sat in silence for a while, and eventually Camilla let her eyes drift closed. Elsie's energy had slowly returned to its usual relaxed state, and Camilla let that feeling engulf her to displace the stress that had been bothering her the entire day.

With a newfound sense of calm, Camilla opened her senses to all of the energies around her. She could feel the buzzing excitement from inside her hotel room as they played some kind of drinking game along with the movie they were watching. She could feel exhaustion coming from one of the neighboring rooms, and irritation from the other side. The rooms below were empty, but the ones above seemed to be having parties of their own, and Camilla could sense a wild mixture of joy, exhilaration, passion, anxiety, hesitation, and so many other emotions that she couldn't discern them all.

Suddenly, Elsie coughed from beside her, and Camilla felt a sharp pain in her own gut.

Camilla's eyes snapped open at the sensation, and she bolted upright with her hand flying to her stomach, expecting to find an injury beneath her palm. But the pain had gone just as quickly as it had arrived, and it took a moment for Camilla to realize what had just happened.

"You're still hurt," Camilla said to Elsie. It wasn't a question. "You said you were fine."

"I learn from the best?" Elsie replied with a sheepish grin. "But really, it's not that bad. How'd you even know anyway?"

Camilla narrowed her eyes at Elsie. "Not that bad, huh? I felt it, so don't try to lie to me."

Elsie looked slightly offended by her accusation. "I'm not lying; I wouldn't do that to you. It's really not that bad. I mean, it could be worse."

"You're so difficult," Camilla muttered, then placed a hand just above Elsie's shoulder. "Will you at least let me check for myself?"

"Is that really necessary?" Elsie said stubbornly, but she at least didn't push Camilla's hand away. "Mack already said I was fine."

"Excuse me for not trusting the man that's currently trying to drink from a beer bottle without using his hands," Camilla retorted.

Elsie couldn't argue with that, so she eventually let Camilla do her thing. With her hand on Elsie's shoulder, Camilla focused on transferring just enough energy to Elsie to be able to sense the exact source of Elsie's pain.

It was much different than working with air like she was used to, especially since she was worried about infusing too much energy into Elsie's body. She tried to think back to how she managed to heal Elsie at the Games and exactly how she managed to heal someone else when she could barely heal herself, but her memory of that time was hazy at best. What Camilla remembered the most were the feelings and emotions that had been rushing through her at the time, so she held onto those memories and let her instincts take over.

Suddenly, a soft light began to glow from her hand on Elsie's shoulder, and the air around them grew a few degrees warmer.

"Holy shit," Elsie whispered in awe, her voice barely audible.

Immediately, Camilla could feel her energy transfer seamlessly to Elsie, and she sensed the source of her pain not long after. There was a large bruise around Elsie's ribs and stomach, just as Camilla had felt on her own body. While it didn't appear to be life-threatening, if the pain was anything like what Camilla had experienced then it was definitely uncomfortable, and it would probably get worse when Elsie had to film the action scenes the following day.

"Can I heal it?" Camilla asked. "I know you told Mack he didn't have to, but..."

"That's because it would've been embarrassing in front of all those people," Elsie replied, a little flustered. "And you don't have to if you don't want to. Really."

"I want to," Camilla said, determined.

Her resolve must have come as a shock because Elsie simply stared at Camilla for a few seconds, her eyes wide. Then finally, she slowly nodded, and Camilla shifted her attention back to Elsie's injury. At first, it took Camilla a while to get used to directing cells to heal, but once she managed to get the hang of it the process went quickly and smoothly.

"Impressive," Elsie praised once Camilla was done, and she used her finger to jab the spot where the bruise just was. "It's like nothing ever happened."

"Is it really?" Camilla asked. She probably should've gotten formal training on how to properly heal someone before actually doing it, but she'd rather not advertise her lesser known abilities.

"As far as I can tell," Elsie said, then sighed at the expression on Camilla's face. "And yes, I'll let you know if something's wrong. I promise, okay?"

Camilla nodded, trying not to let her worry show. Elsie had trusted Camilla to heal her, so Camilla would trust Elsie's promise.

They stayed out there for a while more before heading back inside, and Elsie jumped into the festivities as if she had been there the whole time. The others welcomed her back by shoving a bottle of beer into her hands with directions that she had a lot of catching up to do. While Elsie was eager to comply, Camilla was fine with simply watching, and she grabbed a bag of chips before sitting next to Hitomi at the edge of her bed. And if Hitomi meant anything by her knowing smile and soft chuckle, Camilla wasn't going to ask.

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