((WARNING: Vulgar language, talking about a [f]characters body with detail... uh, yeah. If you do not like ANY of this (or offended by it), go to part three. There'll be a tl;dr on that at the end of Part three's release...))

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I'm pretty sure P hates me.

And I'm pretty we both woke up last, along with some' dude.

That's sayin' much, since I only knew her for 'bout twelve hours. And it's probs something pretty reasonable, like, she's an alien chick from another planet. So maybe I insulted one of her customs.

Was it my outfit? I mean, she can't really argue that. She's wearin' a pink see-through veil, a dark pink crop top and booty shorts, orange socks and small hot pink ballet slippers. So, she shouldn't be really talkin'. Because, yeah. I do wear a hot red miniskirt with some bitchin' black boots and a really cute bear-print tie. But she really looks like a waitress from Hooters.

I dunno what'd she be mad other than that. Maybe it's me bein' a human.

"My Mistress Enoshima," P whispers, almost like she's scared of me, "when will the other humans wake up?" She asks, her sheet white hands on her pancake flat chest. Well, I shouldn't be insultin' her with that, since I'm pretty flat too.

"I dunno, P." I answer to her, starring at the boy in the same room as us -- he has short tawny hair and olive skin. I think he's the Ultra High school Level Lucky this year, but I dunno know. I notice P stare at 'em too, but it was something more malicious.

I hear P make a soft oh and lunges at the boy's desk.

And it almost gives me a heart attack. "Mistress Enoshima! I noticed something on this human's desk! It's what My Diamond would call a 'lett - er!'" She blurts, pullin' it out of the kids' arms. She obviously doesn't know whatta letter is. I don't blame 'er, since she is an alien babe from another planet.

"Cool, P! What does it say, gurl?" I ask 'er, and I guess that's whatta alien chick like P does.

Posh tilts her head, makin' her pink clumpy hair slide almost.

"'Orien-ta-tion in the gym. Wait for everyone at the main gate.' My Mistress Enoshima, I think we're supposed to go to the 'Front Gate'." Posh speaks aloud, and I stare at it over 'er shoulder. Was the pamphlet done in fuckin' crayon!? Man, somethin' was wrong. Really wrong.

"Let's go to the main gate, P. I guess my new school year begins now."

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When I get to the main gate, their's a shit-ton of people already their. I guess me a P woke up late. I decide to make an entrance.

"Yoohoo! My name's Junko Enoshima! Great to meet you! And this is my assistant, Pink!" I bellow, and that alerts everyone

"Look a-at them! Their both filthy w-whores!" A girl with a pretty bookish appearance insults me. I can tell she was talkin' about P, since P did look like that...

Fukawa Toko, Ultra High School Level Writing Prodigy.

"Fellow Classmates! Please dress yourselves appropriately for your classmates!" Says a boy in a white school uniform. I think his eyebrows are connected to his onyx black hair. I think he's starin' at P's lithe bod. I think.

Ishimaru Kiyotaka, Ultra High School Level Moral Compass.

"Ah, come on guys! I think what they're wearing is pretty cute!" Says a busty blunette girl, I think that's the Ultra High School Level Popstar, Sayaka Maizono. I always thought she had a semi busty chest, but not double-d's!

Sayaka Maizono, Ultra High School Level Popstar.

"... is no one gonna comment about how 'Pink' is literally almost naked?" Asks a redheaded punk boy. I almost giggle, because Pink's doing it out of fashion! And at least Pink doesn't have a safety pin on her crop top...

Kuwata Leon, Ultra High School Level Baseball All-star.

"Y'know, being naked increasesvelocity in water and in the outside world!" An equality busty girl with tan skin blurts. I notice that she's pretty muscular.

Aoi Asahina, Ultra High School Level Swimming Pro.

"I don't think that's why she's in that..." A tiny, almost doll-like little girl peeps up, raising a pale hand. I think that she (along with that nerd from earlier) have the longest skirts in the entire class. That's pretty sad...

Fujisaki Chihiro, Ultra High School Level Programmer.

"Can't we stop yammerin' about some girls outfit? Why not about how we're can't through that fuckin' gate!?" Yells a weird gangsta' lookin' mofo. He has a perm, which looks like corn, oddly enough. He's definitely someone to avoid.

Owada Mondo, Ultra High School Level Biker Gang Leader.

"Agreed. We are simply arguing about meaningless things." A smart lookin' blonde dude says, straighten' his jacket. He looks like wanna those dudes in animes that is the doosh that parades himself on his money and shit. He probs acts like that too.

Togami Byakuya, Ultra High School Level Affluent Progeny.

These kids are pretty crazy.

"Ufufufu, this truly is a predicament." Spouts a chick in a Gothic Lolita outfit. I think I did some Lolita shit in France once, I didn't like it. To restricting and dark. I wonder how a girl like the babe in front of me even lives. Completely black hair and outfit musta burn in the hotter months.

Celestia Ludenburg, Ultra High School Level Gambler.

"That's quite right, Ludenburg-dono!" A fat, gopher lookin' weirdo pipes, agreeing with the Lolita. He looks like the sorta dude that'd look at hentai all night smacking his little him. I bet he looks at P and thinks 'That's one hot anime girl!!'

Yamada Hifumi, Ultra High School Level Fanfic Writer.

"I suppose I try punching out the metal screens on the windows, then, so we can make an escape." Somethin' I assume was a female speaks, like the gangsta', I think I should avoid the giant beefcake. She had legit, muscles everywhere, and I'm pretty sure she could bench press me a zillion times.

Oogami Sakura, Ultra High School Level Martial Artist.

"Don't try it, ogre! The guy with the perm tried it in the classroom. It didn't work." Says a guy with stupidly long and upward dreads. I think he does a shit ton of weed, because he gives a Rasta feel. He almost looks to old for high school, which is weird, cause I'm the one owning a thousand year old alien babe. I'm calling the guy 'Weedman'.

Hagekure Yasuhiro, Ultra High School Level Clairvoyant.

"I'm sorry for being late everyone!" Yells someone behind me, and I'm pretty sure I'm just as confused as him. Seriously, everything went so fast, I'm pretty sure everyone broke the sound barrier like a J & F Garret goin' off. I don't know what a J & F Garret is, but I know it's loud. I swiftly turn around, which P follows suit, and it's the kid from earlier.

"I'm, uh, Makoto Naegi! And I think I'm the Ultra High School Level Lucky Student!" He bellows, his voice cracking and I think I'm in love.