As I turned to go back inside I spotted a grey timber wolf standing between me and the house.

I could instantly tell upon approaching him that he was truly an animal rather than a human transformed.  He was smaller than our adult male werewolves when shifted, although still impressively sized for a true wolf.

Wolves also smelled different than we did, even in our wolf forms we kept something of our human scent with a hint of magic.

It was sometimes difficult at first glance for our normal humans to tell the difference between our true wolves and our adolescent werewolves or smaller females.  I remembered an amusing incident in which Moramay introduced herself to Matthias' brother's pet when she was just newly here.

Still, I felt prickles of fear running up and down my spine.  He surely belonged to someone in this false pack, if I was feeling this reaction to him.

I managed to meet his beautiful orange golden eyes.  I could look at his face.  It was an improvement over every human I had met here.

Even though he was between me and the house, I could tell by the way he was standing that he was not guarding against me or threatening me in any way.  His ears cocked in such a way that demonstrated his interest in meeting me.

Nevertheless, I set my new phone carefully down on the ground before I walked forward cautiously.  The true wolves of our packs were well behaved and loyal, but it was still wise to be cautious around unknown animals.

"What's your name, boy?  Who do you belong to?" I asked him.

Of course, he could not answer, but he wagged his tail.  I extended my hand as I approached.  He sniffed me and rubbed his nose into my hand.

"You're a very healthy looking wolf.  Your owner takes good care of you, don't they?" I asked him and I moved forward still.

He sat on his haunches and I scratched him behind his ears.  I could tell he liked it, so I kept it up.

I still felt the buzz of fear, but it almost felt like nothing compared to what I normally had to deal with here.  This wolf made me feel less alone in this pack and I did not want the moment to end.

I wondered why he did not frighten me like the other members.  Maybe it was because a pet was my peer now that I was a thrall, though I suspected this pet had far more freedom than me.

I tried not to feel sorry for myself, but it was hard now that my feelings were not being completely overrun by fear. 

Still, self pity was a delightful vacation from the anxious shivers.

If it was easier for me to take a true wolf of the pack, I wondered how the magic would respond to a regular pack human.  Perhaps I could mention this idea to Karen, I thought before the magic swept over me again for trying to manage the curse rather than cowering as a thrall.

I tried to stop thinking and focus on the wolf, but at that moment two things happened.

The wolf straightened up attentively and I felt renewed shivers running from the nape of my neck down through my spine.

I did not need to be able to look at that face to know who it was.

I froze for a moment while I listened to his footsteps and then I realized what I had been doing.  Was I allowed to pet this wolf?  I scrambled backwards and huddled into a ball.

The wolf looked startled, but fortunately he was well trained enough that he simply watched me with his knowing eyes.

"I wasn't trying to scare you," Serge told me.

I nodded that I understood him, but that did not help me pry my arms off my legs.

"His name is Denizen," my leader told me.  "He's mine."

"I-I'm sorry," I squeaked out.

"Don't be sorry.  I told you that you could do anything reasonable that could help you, didn't I?"

"Y-y-you did," I managed to agree.  I could feel the terrible dread at the understanding I had not taken his words to heart properly.

He was quiet for a long moment.  "I'm sorry that I interrupted you, but..."

I felt the shivers blaming me for his guilt.  "Pl-please don't be s-sorry," I begged.  "I'm sorry."

He chuckled harshly.  "It seems we're both sorry, eh?  Well, whatever the magic is doing to you, only one of us should be suffering in this miserable situation I thrust you into."

I shook my head.  "I should have obeyed my father and I wouldn't even have been there for y-y-you t-to..."

"We both know that small error is nothing compared to what I did."

I did know and the knowledge shook me with fear.

He paused.  I could not look but I could still feel him observing me.

I heard him move closer to me and I realized he had crouched down in the dirt next to me.  I remembered the picture of him and I imagined what he probably looked like right now for a second before the magic obscured the picture with clouds of terror.

"I'm going to ask you to listen to me without interrupting, Elise."

I waited.

"Karen tells me, and I can see that my regret only makes the magic hurt you more, so I'm going to say this once clearly.  I've never regretted anything more than what I did to you, Elise and I've made more than one decision that haunts me at night since I had to take over from my father."

He inhaled and said, "I have to apologize, I am sorry for cursing you.  I'm without excuse."

I listened quietly and it was easier not to dissolve into anxious tremors since he had asked me not to interrupt.  I still felt like my stomach was lead, but it was at least a small reprieve.

"I won't speak of it again; I'll try not to burden you further with my conscience until the day you're free.  We are going to free you, one way or another."  I did not miss the catch in his voice.

I swallowed.  I believed that he wished he could, but not that he thought it was possible.

He was as hopeless as I was.

Serge spoke again.  "Denizen clearly likes you, Elise, so I hope you'll spend time with him when he's here.  His mate belongs to a different family of my pack and they've got a new litter of pups coming soon, but he's still home when he pleases."

I managed the slightest smile at the idea of tiny wolf pups.  They wouldn't be born until at least the end of the month, and they wouldn't be doing much then besides nursing and whimpering at first.

It would be a while before they were fluffy bundles of energy moving around on their tiny paws.

I would undoubtedly still be here when they were playing and when they grew up.  I thought and the shivers resumed.

"Well, I'll leave you to what you were doing," he told me.  I heard him retreat back to the house.  Denizen walked over to me and nuzzled me.  I pried my hands from my knees.  I resumed rubbing his fur and tried to fight past my fears.

After a couple more minutes of sitting there with Denizen in the dirt, I forced myself to pick up my phone, stand, and make my way into the house.

* *  *   *   *   *   *  * *

I stopped in the living room first.  I put my new phone into its protective case and then turned my attention back to the photographs.

I picked up my piles of pictures from off the coffee table and placed them carefully in the box, even the picture of the leader.

I tried to look at it directly, but now that I knew it was him I could not manage it again.  Even touching it burned with icy fire.

I shut the lid on the box firmly.  I set my phone on top and picked up the pile in my trembling hands.  I carried it into my guest room.

I almost dropped it on the floor when my eyes hit the pile of boxes stacked inside.  I held on because I knew the magic would punish me for dropping the box containing his picture.

I quickly rushed to the desk and set my burden down.

I turned back to the mountain of stuff before me.

When I had been small my parents had once taken Sean and I to visit friends of theirs on the far side of the rocky mountains.  I had strong memories of just how high those mountains looked.

Unpacking this was about as intimidating as if someone had told me I had to climb to the peak of the highest mountain of my memories.

The only thing I wanted was to climb into the bed and hide under the covers.

But if I did that the pile would still be there looming over me when I inevitably came out again.

I went to my mp3 player, popped in my earbuds and began listening to the one song I knew was safe over and over.

Then I walked over to the box at the top of the piles.  I had not noticed while Sean and his friends unloaded, but they were all labelled and this one was labelled "Winter".

I swallowed.  The next winter was still more than a half a year away.  This, more than anything spoke to the permanency of my new situation.  I felt a lump in my throat.

I cracked it open and peeked inside.  I could see my jacket and my heavy boots.  I shut the lid.  With trembling hands, I carried the box over to the closet.

I repeated the procedure for the next few boxes.  Most contained stuff I might need.  Next, I found some clothing which I hung up in the closet or put in the drawers.  I found a box of frivolous stuff that my family probably believed would help make me feel more comfortable, pictures of them and stuff like that.

I closed that box and shoved it in the closet, too.

I opened the next to find more clothing.  On top of the clothing was a piece of paper.  I picked it up with trembling hands.  I recognized my step mom's handwriting.

Elise,

I hope that you're doing as well as could be expected under the circumstances.  We miss you already.

I want to assure you that we're doing everything possible to get you back home where you belong.  I've been talking to everyone I can think of and listening for clues in all the old stories.  There has to be something there.  I'm convinced, and since a lot of this is still new to me I can come at it with a pair of fresh eyes so maybe I'll see something no one else sees.  We can hope!

Your dad has also summoned back Doctor Alexi.  I only met her once at the wedding, but he seems to think she could help.  We'll get word to you when we know exactly when she'll arrive.

I'm hoping you've got your gift already so I'm not spoiling it and I know that your dad said a lot to Sean about the rules around it, but if it helps you he won't say anything if you bend them a tad.  Don't tell you father I said that, ha, ha.

Oh, never mind, now he's reading over my shoulder so I guess the wolf's out of the bag.  He tells me that phrase is offensive.  I disagree, you don't see cats whining about it and wolves are tougher than cats, aren't they?  But if he doesn't want to be offended by what I write your father should probably stop spying on me.

Ah, now he left grumbling after he read that last line.  Serves him right. Don't worry, I'll let him read this when I'm done writing.  Haha!

I know you're his daughter, but you're my closest ally in our little di-fecta against these barbaric wolf men.

Anyway, Sean's going to leave soon.  Your father and I are going to come visit you as soon as possible.  If he can't get away before then, I'll come up on my own next week.

We all love you and see you soon,

Moramay

I put down the note from Moramay.  I could tell she was being silly to try to help me keep my spirits up.  I appreciated the attempt.  It even worked a bit.

My life was no fairy tale, but one of the upsides to that fact was that was my stepmother was actually really nice to me.  I do not believe dad even had remarrying on his mind when he met her after we lost mom, but here we are and everyone was pretty happy if you ignored eastern wolf aggression and life ruining curses.

As if summoned by my criticism, the icy shivers rushed through me.  Maybe if I learned to love being miserable and afraid all the time the curse would leave me alone.

My thoughts were apparently still too snarky so the ice rushed through my blood.

I sat down on the bed and reread the letter from Moramay three more times before I slipped it into the drawer of my side table.  I did not fail to note that it was getting slightly easier every time I forced myself to work past my fear.

Maybe I could get to the point where I could live a manageable life, even without the full removal of the curse.

I felt icy fear wind around my bones, as if even that small hope was against the magic's will.

* *  *   *   *   *   *  * *