"Lauren, you're beautiful." I smiled when I heard his compliment, even though I didn't really put too much effort into my appearance tonight. I had my ripped-knee black high-waisted skinnies and a knitted crop top and my high-heeled chunkies. My hair was already straightened from this morning and my usual makeup was on.

"Thanks Lulu," I kissed him on the cheek and we took a seat on an empty couch in some corner in Calum's packed living-room. The music was loud but I can hear Luke talking so I'm okay with staying here.

"I saw Kenzie and Mikey in the backyard earlier, didn't they end things?" He asked taking a gulp of his beverage, I rolled my eyes when he mentioned those two rabbits. That's it, I'm calling them rabbits. She didn't even text me or anything, she just left me alone on the bleachers. I hate the fact that she acts like a bitch sometimes.

"She's crawling back to him after everything he has done to her, she's really stupid."

"Calum said that he loves her." He shrugged putting his arm around my shoulders, I leaned on him, putting my hand on his thigh. "I really don't care anymore Luke." To be honest, the only thing bugging me now, is my love for Luke. The three words are on the tip of my tongue and I can release them now but I'm scared, but sometimes, we gotta take risks. I need to try and see what's going to happen, not just stay and wonder what's going to happen. 

"Luke.." I said feeling my hand starting to shake when he looked at me with a smile, "I think .. I-"

"Lauren, come dance, this is our song!" Skylar dragged me from the couch completely cutting me off and I thanked her silently for saving from making something I could regret later. I kept jumping and swaying my hips to the beat, looking at Luke eventually who was watching us with a wide smile on his face.

Luke's POV

I watched Lauren dance the night away with her friends and I'm really enjoying seeing her all happy but her words from few minutes ago were still lingering in my ears. What was she about to say? She sounded so serious and anxious. I don't know if I can ask her again, maybe it's just something ordinary.

"Hey dude, having fun?" I looked over at Jacob who just took a seat next to me on the couch, I bumped my fist with his. "Yeah, Calum really rocks."

"Come sit outside, we have good beer and we miss you!" I got up from the couch and followed him outside because I had nothing better to do, Lauren is so occupied with her dance and I gotta catch up with those guys because after all they are my friends.

"Sup losers.." I said pulling a chair to sit between Michael and Calum, "Man, you missed the club night seriously." Michael said patting my back, I shrugged letting out a chuckle. "It's okay, we can still go right. What were you doing with Collins earlier?"

"I'm trying to work things again between us, I miss her."

"Fuck, you're so whipped." Ashton spoke for the first time and he disgusted me. I think his state aggravated because I can literally see how cockier he has became lately. "I don't even see what's wrong with him missing her." I said.

"She's a slut, I mean, why do we date sluts. Sluts are only made to fuck and leave."

"Your mentality fucking sucks Ashton, just shut up please." Michael commented before I could even say anything back, "Guys, do not fight. Ashton, he is allowed to date whoever he wants."

"She fucked every single one of us except Hemmings and you still want to fucking date her and be all loyal and shit, what the fuck Michael!" Ashton drunkenly yelled slamming his hand on the table making all the drinks spill out a little. Michael's eyes widened and looked over at Jacob immediately, because of what Ashton just said. Kenzie Collins slept with everyone in our group except me, just the thought of it made me wanna throw up my guts.

"What the hell man, you didn't tell me!"

"It was a one time thing I swear!" Jay protested seriously and I could read the guilt on his face. "When was that?" I asked feeling curious, "That night after the club." I looked over at Calum when he replied and I knew that everything will go downhill from now.

"I'm gonna fucking end this thing with her." He took a huge gulp from his drink throwing the empty cup angrily on the floor. He was really angry and he's going to make everything worse. Before we could even react, he stormed off inside but Calum and Jacob quickly followed him leaving me with a drunk Ashton and he's already glaring at me.

"Why did you tell him about Jacob!"

"That doesn't fucking concern you." I rolled my eyes feeling so irritated with how ridiculous he's being, "What's your problem Irwin?"

"Did you have fun in your kangaroo land and banged my girl hard?" I felt a pang in my heart when he made fun of my home but I felt even more angry when he called Lauren,who's my fucking girl, his. I tightened my fist feeling my knuckles turning completely white.

"Don't you dare fucking call her yours and our sex life doesn't concern you, bastard."

"Leave Lauren alone." I started laughing at how ridiculous he sounded, I took a sip from my delicious drink trying to stop myself from laughing even louder. "Okay, we'll see who's going to laugh when your mom will kick you back to your kangaroo land."

"What has mom do with us." I sternly asked, I hate when people bring out the parents into the shit they wanna do. Family should not take part of any fights, I'm starting to lose my chill. "I bailed you out and you owe me so fucking much."

"We agreed on never bringing up this shit." He laughed, the sound making my stomach flip upwards. I'm feeling so disgusted but also, really scared. "Business Hemmings, we have business together."

"What business fucker, I told you I don't sell fucking heroine with you."

"Shut the fuck up and I'm not talking about that." He glared at me and I knew that I'm not allowed to bring up anything related to his drug dealing, but I just wanted to know what he wants even though I can feel what's coming. "I bailed you out, I payed a shit load of money for you pathetic-self."

"I'll pay you back, my bro will send me some, j-"

"Lauren." My mouth went dry completely when I heard her name. I could feel my heart stop beating for less than a second, I felt this coming. "No." I simply said locking my eyes intensely with hims.

"I don't need your money, give me Lauren back."

"Are you fucking hearing yourself? You're disgusting, I'm not leaving her!" I jumped from my seat immediately feeling so worked up, I can't handle his shit anymore. He's definitely going insane. What has gotten into his mind? Who the fuck does he think he is?

"Then, I'll go take all the signed papers and give them to your mommy, I'm sure she'd love to hear about what her little perfect boy has been doing." My lower lip started trembling and I could feel the tears coming, I refuse to show my weakness in front of this manipulative psycho, he already knows enough. My tongue was tied up and I was looking at him feeling vulnerable. I wanted to fucking rip his head off his body and end his existence on earth.

"Lauren or you disappear from here." His voice sounded like a robot and I could hear nothing more. My body was numb and my thoughts were slowly drifted to Lauren. How am I going to leave her? What's my life without her?

She's the only reason I'm doing okay now, she's my happiness. Her eyes and her smile can light up my night and my whole life. I can't leave her, I won't be okay if we take different paths. But I promised mum that I'd never take drugs again and she warned me if I'm ever going to take pills or sniff or smoke, she's going to send me back to Sydney. I can't go back there, I'm going to collapse again. Especially with Kaylee back there.

"I'll give you few days to think about it, but when the time is out. I won't fucking hesitate a second, and don't you dare and tell her or else you know what will happen." He took his drink from the table and went outside giving me a very fake smile. I was still speechless and lost. I started walking to the back door to exit. I couldn't take this anymore.

My Lauren. How am I going to leave her? My whole life is wrapped around her finger, she's the only reason. I'm in love with her. I love her with all my power and feelings, I can't imagine a simple day without her smile, her sweet voice and her warm body underneath my arms. She was there for me in my most difficult time, she heard my darkest thoughts and she saw me in my most vulnerable state. I can't let her go for anything in the world but if mom finds out, I'll be in a serious problem. She'll definitely send me back to Sydney and Lauren will be devastated. She'll never handle the distance and I'll hurt her either ways. I forgot to mention how my relationship with my family would be. I'm done tearing them apart. Mom made all these sacrifices for me and I disappoint her, she'll never ever forgive me.

I don't know how but I suddenly started sobbing. I felt so powerless and completely out of ideas, I was lost and alone. I realized that all the friends that I made are just fake and unfaithful. They're just friends for fun. The only real friend that I have is Lauren and I can never tell her this. I'll make things worse and I'm seriously scared. I've never considered anyone of them as a real friend I could rely on but I had a little feeling that if someday I sink, I'll find someone to bring me back to bring me back to the surface, but guess what, no one fucking cares.

I spent half of the year ruining Ashton's plans and torturing him but he found a way to ruin mine. I'm out of mind, I can't even function and think about a solution. I felt like the whole world crashed on me and I'm stuck under the whole mess unable to move a toe. Where's my intelligence? Where's my brain in all of this?

I sat on a random bench hiding my face with my palms while I sobbed like a five year-old little boy. Where am I in this big city? What's this place? Who are these people? In what have I sunk in? I don't even recognize anything here. Where are my so called friends, where is my place in here. I'm just a stranger with no one to rely on. I wanna talk to someone, I want to find a fucking solution.

I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and I wiped my running tears pulling out the electronic device. Calum's name flashed on the screen, I cursed declining his call. I don't need him, I don't need any fucking asshole from them.

-

things went slowly from 0 to 100

sorry guys for being inactive these days, but school is killing me plus highschool drama ya know

but holidays are coming really soon 

hope you liked this chapter

i love you guys lots

xx