Jonah and I are lying in the grass field by his house. It's the night before the reaping and technically our first anniversary. The field is dark, and out of sight, so we can actually be together and not just stolen looks and touches. Jonah's dad used to take us out here to look at the stars, and that's what we tell them we're doing.....which is half true.

"Ugh, I love it when you do that," I say as he bites my neck and kisses me.

" I love doing it to you, plus I love you," he whispers.

"I wish tomorrow would just happen so we could be here again," I sigh.

He pulls back, "Babe! don't think about it. Not tonight. This is just for us," he says. I Kiss him, and he pulls back again, "I have been thinking about it though. The reaping. It's our first one since we started dating and .....and if ....if I get called I don't want you to volunteer for me. Promise me that," he says. I sit up, and I know I look angry because he continues, " think about it, the chances of winning are slim, right? So if you volunteer for me or I for you, the other one will have not only to lose someone they love BUT also know they did it to save them."

I nod and say, "but if you get picked, and I don't volunteer, then won't you be pissed at me and hate me?" I say. Don't cry. Don't cry.

"a. I could never hate you," he kisses me quickly and keeps going, " and b. that's the best part. Cause we agreed to it. I'll go into the games knowing you WANTED to but can't cause you're keeping this promise. Get it?"

I nod and say, " I get it. I don't like it, but I get it."

We lay back down and kiss some more, and my hands travel down his pants. "Hey," he said; I stopped and looked at him sheepishly, " I think I'm ready if you are you."

"Are you sure? I want your first time to be special, are you......" my words are lost in a kiss as he unbuttons his shirt.

"I'm ready. I know it's not your first time, and I don't care. This is special to me. My favorite place, and my favorite guy. What more could I want," He says between kisses.

I think how I wish this were my first time. Or that my first time had been special, " take your pants off then. I've been ready since the day you said I love you," and I climb on top of him. I don't really like being the receiver, but I've done it before, and it's his first time, so why not. Everything's over in 10 minutes, and we lay back, panting and sweating.

"Was it....o-ok?" He gasped, " I know it wasn't your first time, but I want to do my best."

"Jonah, that was the best sex I've ever had. I promise. Unlike him, I like you, and you like me. I think that pent up energy was what we needed released." I kissed him and added, " I'm just sorry. I didn't wait for you."

"Ky, don't be sad you didn't know, and I wouldn't expect you to wait for something that you didn't think would happen. I'm just happy we found each other," I snuggle up to him and breathe his smells in deep, sweat, sawdust from the barn we were working on today, and lemon from the tree that his mom puts in the soap she makes.

"I am completely happy; I could stay here all night," I say out loud.

"Won't your dad be mad at you?" He jokes.

"He'll be mad anyway, so why not give him something to be mad about. Tomorrow is Evan's last reaping, so he's nervous about that." I sit up and look at his watch. "I should get going through," I add.

"Oh, so you're that type of guy. Fuck em and leave em, huh?" He jokes.

"Well, you fucked me soooooooooo I guess that makes it ok then," I tap his nose and get up and offer my hand to pull him up. We walk back to his house, and I see his parents are still up. Parents usually are the night before the reaping. "Tell your parents good night me," I shout and head down the road to our little housing complex. "I'll see you at the square tomorrow night," he calls back.

As I walk home, I realize that I just had sex with someone I WANTED to have sex with for the first time in my life. So I guess it was my first time. The next morning, Jackson is reaped, and my oldest brother is safe for the rest of his life. Jackson comes back a changed man for the better. And I got one more year with Jonah out for the arrangement.

A knocking on the door pulls me from my dream. It's Jackson, speak of the devil, "it's time to get up, shower, and come to breakfast," he says calmly. I wonder how much he has changed since the games.
-******