Chapter five
Challenges are what makes life interesting, and overcoming them is what makes life meaningful~🌹حسنى
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It was past asr when I finished cooking. I prayed my salat and it started raining heavily. I love it when it rains. I stood by the window frame in my room and watched as the rain drops cascaded down the transparent glass. Whenever it rained, there's this feeling in my heart, the feeling of utmost happiness.
I opened the window and heavy winds blew in, accompanied by small drops of water. I stood glued to the spot until I began to feel my hair slightly damp.
I smiled. After a very long time, I smiled. Not the usual smile to assure people that I'm fine, but the original Noor's smile. The one I always had glued to my face three years ago. It slowly kills me every day, when I see mama sad because of my condition. But I try to hide everything. I try to be more gleeful, more courageous, like I used to be. I try very hard to hide the tears, and the sadness in me. But even when she's not around, she still gets to know. I guess thats how mother's are. They get to notice the simplest form of things.
I'd do anything, absolutely anything, to see that glint of happiness in my mother's eyes.
I had been standing there, losing all track of time. The rain had stopped, but the clouds were still very dark. My eyes wandered around the garden below my window. It looked beautiful after the rain. The soil, soft and soggy, the flowers, fresh and bright, the pigeons, squeaking to each other and flying all around finding food, the butterflies, hovering around the pollens of each flower. The sight, so beautiful. I could stay here all day and just look at the magical sight.
I suddenly felt like going out, for a walk. Just a quick one before mama comes home. I glanced at the wall clock which read 4:30 pm. Mama would be back by 5. I ran over to my closet, picked my dark purple hijab, my favorite. I wore small niqabi over it and went outside.
A quick look at our house. A two story building, with a spotlessly clean driveway, a beautiful garden by the side, with different varieties of flowers planted. Sunflowers, red roses, white roses, lilies, orchids, you just name it.
Our exterior of our house was beautiful, the perfect house. Meanwhile, the interior was full of heartbreak and loneliness. Of vacant stares and bitter memories. There's no sense of love nor family. It's hard to say, but our family might have broken down. Baba is always away, busy with work. Mama directs her loneliness and sadness to her job and the boutique. And I, am still battling with bitter memories.
I met Eze, the gateman, sitting on his bench a usual, with his radio clutched to his hand and pressed against his right ear as he listened to the evening news.
"You dey go somewhere" he asked in his broken English. I nodded and headed out, pulling down my niqabi to cover my face leaving only my eyes and forehead visible. Wearing a niqabi make me feel safe. Safe from all the dangers of the world.
I suddenly remembered my last session with doctor Laweeza. It was hard to convince her that I'm fine, but she did believe my lies and stopped my therapy. She had asked me to tell mama to meet her, but it slipped off my mind. I made a mental note to tell her later.
We live in a very quiet neighborhood. The house, mostly duplex, were built closely together, with a large fence between each house, giving enough privacy.
The road was so quiet, that I could hear the squelchy sound of my slippers against the freshly made coal-tar. I walked until I reached a small park. I can swear I didn't know we had a park close by. The fresh scent of green grass filled my nostrils as I walked into the park, watching the sight.
There were lots of children, running around aimlessly, playing. A sight caught my eye. A little girl, maybe five to six years, was riding on her fathers back. She looked so happy. Suddenly, I saw myself in her. The cute cheeks, the ponytails, the frock....and Baba.
A sudden rush of memories of my father filled my mind, and the time we spent together. I remember the time he drove all the way from Kaduna to Abuja just because I had a splinter and I wouldn't stop crying. I remember the times we would sneak into the kitchen at midnight and eat ice cream when mama was sleeping. I remember my sixth birthday, when he had filed up the whole house with balloons. I remember each and every event very clearly.
I remember those Saturday's we would spend together watching National geography channel, and those Sunday's we would go on a picnic. I miss him so much.
But everything stopped abruptly three years ago. He didn't come over regularly, nor did he spend holidays with us. His excuse is always work. Work, work, work. I even hate the word.
I sat at the end of a damp bench, and went blank, thinking of nothing and everything. It happens to me sometimes when I'd sit for hours with my eyes open and my mind shut.
A loud sound of thunder brought me out of my thoughts. I clasped my hands tightly, shutting my eyes.
I have never told anyone before, not even Sa'ad. I'm afraid of nature. Like thunder sounds, and I feel very scared when I look at the moon, or the ocean. Water also slightly terrifies me. But the one thing I'm not afraid of, are the stars.
The clouds were dark again. It seems like another batch of rainfall is on its way. I stood up hastily to go home, but when I looked at the environment around me, everything looked foreign. I didn't know where I was. I had been lost in my thoughts for so long that I lost track of my way.
The wind blew heavily, carrying so much dust along. I struggled to keep my niqabi in place. My hands were trembling in fear. I don't know why my hands shake when I'm afraid. I also cant stop it because it comes naturally. I hid them under my hijab and kept on rubbing them together.
My biggest solution was to call someone for help, but I had, so stupidly left my phone at home. I started to retrace my steps. I kept walking but there was no familiarity with the neighborhood. I think I'm in another estate. Rain begun pouring on me, and I kept walking in circles.
I felt my heartbeat drop suddenly, because of the sight in front of me. A very, very big dog. I shivered at the thought of his carnivorous teeth against my soft skin.
And when he barked at me, I jumped a little.
My vision began to blur, and my eyelids closed. I felt my body fall and I couldn't stand up....then....blank
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Another cliffhanger 😈
My chapters are slowly vanishing and I have no idea why. I had to rewrite this chapter. I apologize for the missing chapters.
Ghost readers! Vote!
Have a nice day💫
Husnahusaain🌺
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