"She was so good at convincing everyone that she was fine, So good, that she sometimes believed it as well"

***

The mid term break is just what I needed. Having a small vacation from school, during a very hectic finally year is every high school kid's dream.

I stared at the white ceiling, sun rays peeked through the large purple curtains, and reflected against the purple walls. My eyes wandered around my room. The walls were painted bright purple, a big carpet, calibrated between my bed and the towering bookshelf. Everything in my room was purple. I remember a time when I was obsessed with the color, now I don't even have a favorite color, the only color that suit my life perfectly is black.

Black for darkness. My life's darkness.

The modern furnitures were installed in my room three years ago. When I needed a change in my environment. The floral walls were painted purple, the shady curtains, now thick and large. Every picture frame was put away, because I could see them talking to me. Hallucinations, as the doctor calls it.

The only thing that remained the same, is this gigantic bookshelf that is stocked with over a thousand books. I loved reading. Key word's loved. But now, whenever I hold a book, my mind can't concentrate on the story anymore, all I see is letters.

I sauntered to the large bookshelf that stood up till the ceiling, stepped on the small ladder and without searching, my hand pulled out a two similar small books. My favorites.

The life of prophet Muhammad(SAW) in Makkah and the other book, The life of prophet Muhammad(SAW) in Madina, both by the same author, Abu Zahir.

If I am to count the number of times I've read these books, then it'd probably be halved, the number of days I've spent on earth.

I flipped through the pages, watching the illustrated pictures of camels,deserts, date trees, and The beautiful Ka'abah.

After a while, I scrolled through instagram and then replied some messages I missed.

A message from baba, asking if I am fine, something he regularly does. I quickly typed my favorite word. "I'm fine"

Deep down, I know I am far from fine.

I sent auntie Luba's number, to Adda Sajeedah. She mentioned needing a cake artist. Luba's cake heaven is what she needs to have the guests licking their fingers.

My family is just awesome, my mother, lawyer plus fashion designer, my aunt, full time cake pro and also does small catering, and I, well let's just say I'm under intensive training to become all, a lawyer, a chef, and a designer.

Mama had been trying to tell me something since morning but she keeps hesitating, like I'd blow up after she tells me. She's now baking my favorite chocolate cake, and I think it's some sort of a bribe for me to visit a hospital again.

Ha! A lawyer is giving her daughter chocolate cake as bribe. And from the amazing smell, it sure is working.

The door bell rang making me close my ears with my palms, because of how loud it sounded . I ran downstairs to see who's at the door. I have this insane habit since childhood, of wanting to open the door for guests.

I just hope it's not mama's weird friend, Anty Sadiya. That woman will buy all the new abaya's we have at home, and then will disappear without making payments. It takes her almost a year to pay for all the things she buys.

"Noor...go back upstairs I will see who's there" mama tried to stop me. But instead she made me more curious of knowing who's at the door. We don't usually have guests frequently, they always call to inform if they are coming.

I ran past mama to the door, adrenaline pumping through my veins. She tried to stop me again but I just couldn't be stopped.

Wait. Why's she trying so bad to stop me from opening the door. Could it be some zombie standing outside wanting to eat my brains? I shivered at the thought but I still opened the big metal, soundproof door.

And the person standing in front of me made my smile vanish. She was worse than a brain eating zombie.

Jamila.

What on earth is she doing here?

I felt the anger rush through me as she smiled. She had the guts to smile at me. I felt the anger double and I tried to control myself from pouncing on her and pulling her hair out of her skull. I was rubbing my thumb over my fingers just the way I was instructed to act when I feel extremely angry but it wasn't working. I need cold water.

I'm sure hot smoke was oozing out of my ear because of the way I was fuming.

"Hello Noor! It's so nice to see you again, how've you been" the devilish stepsister of mine had the nerve to ask me how I was?. I'm like this only because of her!

"What are you doing here!" I spat back at her. Venom was evident in my tone. Mama was rubbing soothing circle on my back to calm me down but it wasn't working.

It wasn't freaking working because I felt the urge to gauge out her happy eyes.

"What is she doing here?" I asked noticing she was holding a suitcase.

She doesn't mean she's staying under the same roof as me, does she?

Impossible!!

Very very impossible!!

Because I don't think I'd be able to stay five meters away from her without scratching her face with my long nails.

"Noor!" Mama scolded. "Is this the way to speak to your sister?"

"Get out" I spat at her. "I said get the hell out of our house" I could feel the tears falling out.

"Ummie...I came to Abuja for my friends wedding, and I thought I should come over and greet you" she addressed mama, totally ignoring me.

"Oh that's so nice of you" mama spoke, looking between me and my stepsister.

I closed my eyes to calm down a bit and process all that was happening in my head. I felt the anger triple, I felt the emotions I had been keeping deep and buried in my head back.

I felt the pain that never left me, even for a slight moment.

Opening my eyes, I could swear I saw her smirking at me, while stepping inside. She then hugged me and I then lost control of everything I had been holding back.

I pushed her. Yes I pushed her very hard and roughly.

She fell flat on her butt and I didn't care a bit. I grabbed her hand and threw her outside the gate, along with her dirty suitcase.

"Don't ever come back into this house..." I said and she glared at me. "Remember when you also threw me out...remember? Well tit for tat."

I felt mama's palms against my face. All I could see from my blurry eyes was Jamila telling mama goodbye, stopping a taxi, and leaving.

I stood glued to my spot and took in all of mama's scolding. I couldn't really hear anything besides the masculine voice in my head.

"Princess, wherever you go...I'd always find you...."

I covered my ears and yelled. "Stop!" I saw mama panicking, with my teary eyes.

I ran back to my room upstairs and sat down in a small corner and hugged my legs, closing my eyes tightly. I could hear the voice again..and again..and again.

"I'm gonna find you....I'm gonna find you princess" the voice echoed.

I opened my eyes and I could see him. He was smirking at me. He was laughing at me. I started throwing things at him. Breaking everything I could see. But he didn't vanish. He stood there laughing at me. Like always.

He is a figment of my imaginations, he isn't real, he can't hurt me...I tried telling my self.

Mama rushed in. "Noor...I'm so sorry"

"Please leave me alone" I screamed at him and he laughed loudly. Even though the doctor says he's not real...I know he's real. And he's going to hurt me. Again.

I know mama could just see me talking to a wall, because she panicked again and ran downstairs.

I curled into a corner in my bathroom and closed my eyes. I had been there for a while before I heard  some sound. The bathroom door opened slowly and I could feel someone kneeling beside me.

"Noora..."

"Please don't hurt me" I screamed, covering my face with my palms.

"Noora...it's me" he said with his voice full of concern. He slowed removed my hands that were covering my eyes, and my eyes opened slowly.

Without a second thought, I wrapped my hands around him and sobbed hard.

"He's...he's going to..ta..take me away"

"Shh...it's fine...no one's here...No one is taking you away..I'm here now" He tried to console me.

"Take me a..away..." I try to speak but the stinging pain of needle in my arm cut me off. My eyelid were closing slowly as I held on to him tightly.

"I don't know what I was thinking...I knew she was coming...I should have sent Noor to your place...but I thought she might be ready to face her today...I shouldn't have.." I heard mama speak.

I could feel myself calm down. I was drifting to sleep slowly, still holding Sa'ad tightly.

"She's fine now"I heard him speak before I fell asleep still holding him tightly.

********

Dan Dan daan.....

Troubles are never gonna leave the poor Noor😥

Buckle your belts and fix your hats, for the next chapter. Till then😉

Have a nice day/night

Husnah🌷