[Cheers, Aria. Very dramatic ending. Just perfect. My turn.]

I wasn't as hurt. I hit the door, and Don, Carter, and Alyssa stacked over me. They stood up and used the door above them to get out. My stomach was in shambles when I climbed out. Bast had crawled out the other door, dragging Aria. Her magician's bag was dirty and faded, but it started to repair itself magically. Aria's eyes were shut, and her nose was the colour of chocolate pudding. Her forehead was bleeding, with a piece of glass wedged in. Bast picked out the glass. She pressed on Aria's chest, and she gave a weak scream.

"Um, why'd you flip the van?" I asked.

"Sorry. Forgot that mortals can die. Anyways, Aria has broken ribs," She announced. Her hands glowed yellow, and she pressed hard on Aria's chest. Aria gasped in pain, and Bast took her hands off. "Don't worry. I healed them a bit, but don't put too much pressure on them."

"Where's Bes?" Alyssa asked.

Bast glanced back out the car, and saw the back seat window smashed. The car was fine, amazingly.

"He crawled out the window, I assume. I enchanted this mini van when I stepped foot into it, you see, since I'm a goddess. It can't be broken in anyway, except when a god chooses to damage it."

"So that's permanent?"

"Of course not!" Bast said. "But I can get him to mend it soon-"

Babi lumbered over, squinting at us, drooling pools full of foam.

"Well, well," Nekhbet perched on a nearby street lamp. "Where's your protection?"

Bast unsheathed her knives. "Want me to deck her for ya, Bes?"

"No, thanks." A voice said. "I like a challenge."

I looked back, and Bes stood there, in nothing but a bathrobe. It was originally white, but brown from a little romp in the sand. His hands were hairy, and his legs...... Oh, god. Seriously, I get that guys don't shave or wax or whatever, but he was certainly the manliest man of men. I could almost smell the testosterone coming from Carter and Don. It was a carpet of pure black hair that almost covered his feet, which were unaccompanied by shoes. His toe nails were cut crudely, and slanted, with yellow patches. It was really showing off his pot belly, bulging over the tie on the robe.

[What's that, Carter? Yes! Yes, Carter, you were going through puberty! I swear it! Fine. Deny the facts.]

He stepped forward.

"Bes!" Babi grunted in a sophisticated way.

"Gross!" Nekhbet wailed. "Do you have clothes under that, perhaps?"

"Nope!" Bes said cheerfully. "Step back, children!"

We all backed up, except for Bast, who was looking eagerly at the dwarf God.

He blushed. "You, too, Bast!"

She scrambled back, and Bes let his robe fall to his feet.

He was in absolutely nothing, but a navy blue speedo.

He looked down. "There's where it went."

       His back was covered in hair, and the back of the speedo said "Dwarf pride". The hair ran all the way up to his swimsuit area (his literal swimsuit area), and his back was carpeted in back zits, or bacne. Some were red all around, with a big yellow dot bulging in the middle, others were just red. His hairy limbs were enough to make me burn my eyes, but he swiped his hand over his hair, as of that made him handsome, and green-red curry stains were striped down his head.

Nekhebt draped her wings over her face, which was very helpful for me. Babi cupped his hands and hid them over his eyes, grunting.

"Ya like that, huh?" Bes said, swinging his hips. "Leave now!"

"This is not your fight, dwarf god!" Nekhbet howled. "This is a different fight!"

"These children are under my protection! I was specifically called!"

"No." I added. "We were just running out of op-"

"Nonsense!" He insisted. "Fate is Fate!"

He strutted up to Babi. "Come on, Big boy! Show me what ya got!"

They circled each other like wrestlers in a ring, then Babi pounced. He grabbed Bes like a Barbie doll, and shook him like a maraca. Bes' form shimmered, and I noticed that each of them was trying to get the other back to the Duat. But the dwarf was agile. He slammed both hands down on Babi's fists, and Bes fell to the ground on his feet. The baboon God swiped, and picked Bes up again. He put him close to this face and started to grunt in triumph. Bes face planted himself in Babi's ugly nose, and started hitting his face against Babi's, over and over again. Babi dropped Bes, and was ready to faint. The dwarf god walked up to him, and breathed on Babi. The smell of curry must have been too much. Babi's knees buckled. His form shimmered. His arms hit the ground, and he shrunk. A bedraggled old man wearing a pale yellow polo shirt, a wool cardigan, khaki pants, little glasses, and a mop of grey hair, took the baboon god's place.

Bast walked towards him. "Come along, old chap. Let's get you cleaned up."

The old man probably never remembered anything that happened just now, but he said in a British accent: "Now, hold on just a moment! Who are you people?" His voice was ragged, like he hadn't used it in ages, but still tough.

"Name's, er, Bast. Sir, what's your name?"

"I don't like telling my name all that much,-"

"You and I have that in common."

"-But I suppose you did save my life, judging on the scene. Name's Bobby. Owner of Honeycutt coffee shop with my dear old wife, Matilda-" He looked around, not noticing Bes nor Nekhbet. "Now, where did she go? Matilda?"

Bast raised an eyebrow as she offered him her arm. "Bobby, you say?"

The old man frowned. "Yes. What's wrong with that, eh?"

"Nothing, sir!" They started to make their way towards us. "Nothing weird at all."

Bes turned to Nekhbet on her lamppost. "Your turn, Nekhbet!"

"No fair!" She wailed. "I like it in here! I found this body fair and square! She knows how to make excellent meat pies!"

Bes rubbed his hands together. "You asked for it!"

If I said that Bes made a face and yelled "Boo!" that would be technically correct, but it wouldn't describe the horrors I have seen. His head swelled. He rose up, so he almost reached Nekhbet's height. His tongue was the width and length of a pick up truck. He wagged his head and roared: "BOO!"

Her talons retracted back into her shoes. The flies buzzing around her wings retreated. Her feathers shed off her arms like snow. As she fell, an old woman wearing a purple polo shirt, khaki pants, and grey hair cut in a bob, took the goddess's form. Bes leaped up and caught her, carrying her towards us. His face went back to normal, well, normally ugly.

"Great," I muttered, "Three bedraggled people we have to nurse back to health."

Aria sat up. "I'm fine." She coughed 40 times. "I- I could take on an army."

       Don, Carter, and Alyssa had the job of pushing the car back up, as Bes fixed the window with a snap of his fingers. Bast and I sat down with the old people. Bobby was fine, a little grumpy, but fine. Matilda was dazed and confused, mumbling things like "Meat pies" or "Vultures" every once in a while. Without them looking, Bast had summoned some hot tomato soup for them, and promised them she'd personally pay for their taxi ride home. Aria insisted that she help with the car, but Bast said that she was in no condition for work in two hours, so, instead, she scowled as she enjoyed some delicious soup.

Bes walked over. "So? How are they?"

Bobby scowled at him. "Bloody short people in their bloody revealing swimwear."

Bast cleared her throat. "Bes, dear, why don't you help the kids with the car?"

"You two married?" Bobby asked.

"No! No! Of course not!" Bes said, blushing.

"Bloody seems like it." Bobby sipped some more soup. "This soup is amazing. Can you give me the recipe?"

"Well, I-" Bast's voice trailed off. "Sure." She handed him a piece of papyrus. He stuffed it in his cardigan. "I feel like I just got shot, because this soup tastes like heaven." He sipped some more.

Bast walked over to the side of the road. "One should be here somewhere." A bright yellow taxi can drove by, and Bast whistled. She waved her arms frantically, like she was trying to land a plane. The taxi came to a stop. I dragged the couple over with the help of Bes, still holding their soup bowls.

"Get these two to the nearest walk-in clinic in Maricopa." Bast told the woman. "I'm paying in advance."

She handed the woman five one-hundred dollar bills. "Give the change to the old folks."

The couple climbed in the back, muttering about soup seasonings, and were off to Maricopa.

~*~*~*

We had climbed in the mini van, where Aria was being nursed in the backseat by Alyssa and I. Don had taken my spot with Carter, and Bes had gotten Aria's seat at the front, though he was barely tall enough. The seatbelt was covering his face.

"Got anything in the back, Sophia?" Bast said.

"To make him taller?"

"No. To help him learn how to fly. Of course, to make him taller!"

"All I got is an Oxford Dictionary or..............." My voice trailed off. If Bes didn't like the name 'Bessie', he sure wouldn't be pleased with this method. I held it up.

"Oh, no!" Bes protested. "No! No! No! I'm not using that! It's humiliating!"

Five minutes later, Bes was at the front, growling about having to use a booster seat.

"And it's pink." He grumped. "Hot pink."

"Suits you." Bast purred.

"Now that Nekhbet and Babi are gone," Don said, "Does that mean we can head to Phoenix?"

Bast frowned. "No. We need to change cars. I bet that Ayan and her team already know our license plate. And we still need the Book of Overcoming Set. The feather and his name will be useless without it."

Carter explained his dream, and how Ayan had gotten controls of the plane, and was on our tail.

"We only have two days. Two days to find this book." Aria said.

"Three." I piped up. "Since Set will have full power on the sunrise of the 31st."

"The Book is in the worst spot to be in." Bast said. "It's in Ayan's house."

"Where's that?" Don asked.

"Paris."

Aria whistled. "Spoiled much? Must've been bloody wonderful to live in Paris. Great fashion, great food, probably lives in some bloody French mansion-"

"Her parents died in a fire. A fire started by a neighbouring nome in London." Bast said. "Her parents were rich, and she can't access the money her parents left her until she turned 18. She lives with her grandparents on holidays, who are also wealthy, and attends the nome in Paris. Her grandparents don't like her. They think she started the fire, and killed their daughter. So she ran away when she was 6, and was taken in by Nafeer. She only ever visits because her relatives go off on cruises during the holidays, and she has the house to herself. Also, I know this because my subjects told me."

Carter cleared his throat. "Well, she's not there now, is she?"

"She's not there, but I suspect some French magicians are guarding her house, because she knows you still need the book." Bast said.

"Then why is she trying to block us from Arizona?" Alyssa asked.

Bast shrugged. "Magicians suspect you're crazy, especially now that you have Bes and I at your side."

"How are we supposed to get there? We can't use portals."

"Mortals can't. But gods can." Bes said.

"Let me just switch the car." Bast added.