0 5

risks & children

—

THAT MOOD HAD passed in about a few hours. A few minutes, actually. When I got on the bus back home, I was filled with a sense of dread that I couldn't place. I guess I was just having a hard time as of late, not just with the fact that I was going to be betraying the family I've been employed by for the last seven months or with the fact that my terribly unrequited crush on Caleb Anderson was still very much unrequited, or even just the casual stress of me working for the Gates family in general. I just felt worn out right now.

Usually, when I was going through a rough patch in my daily life — or a rougher patch because I didn't have enough money for constant self-gratification like that — I went down to the local art store a block away from Laney and I'd apartment, and stock up on at least an armful of sketchbooks. It was, to me, like therapy for someone who couldn't afford to go to therapy, just me and my pencils on the floor of my room.

But when I tried to conjure up an image in my head that I wanted to draw, I couldn't picture a single thing. All of the thoughts in my head were jumbled up into some kind of messy, dark, bundle of half-assed ideas and half-sought dreams. Nothing seemed to stick except the pulsing need to create despite a total lack of inspiration. I groaned in frustration, pulling my headphones from my purse and stuffing them inside my ears.

I was ready to settle myself in until I finally got back home, when the bus rerouted, turning down the street on the right side instead of just going straight like it usually did. I was completely alarmed, shooting up in my seat to look around and see whether I had grabbed the wrong bus, but no, it was the one I usually took. Everyone else seemed to have noticed as well, based on the complaining I heard filtered through my music.

"Sorry," the driver said in an attempt to calm the people down, "but due to recent construction in the area, my supervisor told me to reroute. We will still hit all of the stops, but it will take a bit longer than it usually does. No more than twenty extra minutes."

That wasn't too bad for me, so I leaned my head against the wall and turned up my music to drown out the people who did have a problem with it. I could see the city was rolling on by through the window, loud cars and pristine white or grey buildings for miles, but then I felt a breath catch in my throat. Because we had suddenly passed by a beach which I had completely forgotten about. I hadn't been to the beach in ages. It was the height of summer, so it was heavily occupied, couples having picnics in the sand, girls posing in the water in their bikinis, and friends playing sports while weaving in and out of other people, clearly having the time of their lives. I felt myself grin and this time I was completely fine with that.

—

BEING BACK AT work was a haggle, honestly. But things were better now, especially since Laney was up early and baked me some cookies because she couldn't fall back asleep. I was all too familiar with the feeling, so I didn't bother harassing her for the details, but I made sure to send her any funny pictures I found online on my way to work and gave her encouraging words to cheer her up but at a respectful distance. Laney was my rock most often, and if I didn't keep her anchored than I wouldn't be either.

"Ms. Finley," Selena said as she descended down the stairs, "Helga called in sick today, so I'm going to need you to take the children to school today."

"I —" I started, hoping for some kind of excuse so that I could search the house for clues, but I cut myself off as I noticed Mrs. Gates eyeing me intensely.

"You do know how to drive, right?" It was one of the prerequisites on the job application, so I was sure she already knew that and it was a rhetorical question, but she was the one signing the checks — when her husband was out of town or didn't feel like doing it — so it wasn't like I could point that out.

Instead, I took the high road like I was so used to and nodded. "Yes ma'am. I'm actually saving up for a car right now."

Selena rolled her eyes. "Are you begging me for more money than I already give you?"

"No," I said, throwing my hands up in defense, "of course not. I would never. I was just throwing that out there — you know — as a random factoid." Factoid? I sounded like such an idiot. But I didn't really have time to worry about that, because Selena withdrew a pair of keys from her pocket and held them out for me to take. Realizing this, I cupped my hands beneath where the keys dangled.

"I already pay you well enough," she said as an afterthought. At that, she let them fall into my palms. "Okay, so Sadie and Jacob go to West Trinity College Prep, while Jack goes to St. Barnabas Junior Academy. The nav system should have both places programmed in there already, so you should be good with that."

I almost wanted to sigh in relief that the directions were already programmed, but that definitely wouldn't go over well. It'd probably influence Selena to make it more challenging for me.

"Okay," I said, "that doesn't sound too hard."

She nodded and ran a hand through her hair. Looking closely at her, I could see some dark circles under her eyes. If that were anyone else, especially Laney — maybe even Teddy, although we were basically still strangers — then I'd be concerned, but this was the woman who raked me over the coals day in and day out, who was possibly guilty of embezzlement. I didn't really feel anything for her that was positive, so sympathy or empathy were definitely off the table. Call me back when she could lend me the same.

"Yeah it's so easy that I would've done it myself, but George is coming in today," she said as she waved me off, "I'm trying to get myself ready for that. You know; perfume, maybe some lingerie, body chocolate — do you know where I can have that quickly delivered? Unless I can order it online? Okay, actually, the last time he ate chocolate off of me he got a stomach ache. I'll just have the grocer bring me some strawberries. You can't go wrong with those."

I didn't know what to do with all of that information, so I just nodded, taking it all in. "Okay, then," I said. "So I'm just going to take the kids in a second. And what do you want me to do after I drop them off at school? You don't want me coming back to the house while you make your...preparations, right?"

She took a second to think about that, her brow furrowing in deep consideration before she simply just shook her head. "I'd hate it if you saw me naked," she explained. "You know? I wouldn't want you to get jealous of how tight I'm keeping it at forty."

Okay, now I really didn't care if anything was bothering her.

"You're right," I said, nodding along. "I left the kids in the kitchen, so I'm just going to see how they're doing, okay?"

"Fine with me, just make sure they're in school on time," she answered and turned for the stairs without a moment of hesitation, not even to wait for my confirmation.

I took her absence as my cue to make my way into the kitchen where sure enough, they were waiting for me at the table with Petra the day chef hovering around with plates of food for them, waiting for their beckon.

Sadie was the first to look up at me, glancing me up and down to check out my outfit and probably deduce for herself if she even wanted me taking her or if she was going to call one of her friends who had their licenses to pick her up.

Jacob was the next to acknowledge me, mirroring his sisters reaction, but for a completely different reason. Thankfully, I didn't care enough about Sadie's opinion of my fashion to dress up for her brother, because I wasn't ready to give either of them that kind of satisfaction.

And finally, Jack looked up from the slice of bacon he was gnawing on and met me with a beaming smile. Ah, that was a lot more like it.

"Are you ready to go, kids," I asked.

—

THEY WEREN'T READY.

All of them had stuff still in their rooms that I had to go and fetch for them, lunches to pack, and backpacks to check. We were halfway out of the door when Jacob remembered his lacrosse stick was in the kitchen. In fact, Sadie and Jacob were still being fussy with me when I pulled up to West Trinity College Prep. I could understand that because it was summer time and it was hot out, that the last place they wanted to be at was school, but they had two weeks left and one was just for final exams. They could've saved the energy they spent on making my life a living hell and used it to study and it would've been a win-win situation for everyone.

"Alright, guys," I said with a glance at Sadie in the front seat before turning to the back to face Jacob, "you guys both are staying for your extra curricular activities after school, right?"

"Yeah," Jacob said with a sly grin spreading across his face as he lowered the aviator sunglasses that hung over his eyes down the bridge of his nose. "I have lacrosse practice if you want to swing by. Hot and sweaty guys, masculine aggression, male camaraderie — that is, if that's what you like."

I rolled my eyes. "Don't worry about me. I've got Brokeback Mountain on the DVR at home. Don't really think I'll be missing anything."

Sadie stifled a laugh with her hand while her brother got all flustered. Jack was sitting there quietly, taking it all in. He didn't seem to be like himself, but I just had to get these teenaged monsters out of the car so I could put all of my focus on that.

"Hey, lacrosse is not gay," he said, clearly building up a temper. At that, he wrenched open the car door and got out, stomping his way up the steps. Sadie looked at me, giving me a nod that I could only guess was supposed to be a farewell of sorts, before getting out of the car and shutting the door behind her. Thankfully, she crossed over to Jacob's side and closed his door too.

"Bye Sadie, bye Jacob," I called after them, actually okay with the fact that they didn't say anything back to me.

I finally had them out of my hair. I turned to the back of the car to face Jack with a smile on my face. "We got rid of those stinkers, didn't we, Jack?"

I was happy to see him sitting back there in his car seat, but he didn't seem to be his usual self back there. His lips were sealed tightly and his cheeks were puffed up as if he were holding something in. I didn't know much about kids that I hadn't learned in the seven months since I had been working for the Gates family, but it only took common sense to know that what was going on was not a good thing. At all.

"Oh no," I said, but it was too late. Jack had barely a second after I said anything before he couldn't help but spray chunks all over the back of the seat in front of him. All I could do when he stopped, was repeat myself in saying, "oh no!"

Jack began to sob uncontrollably, his hands flying to cover his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Marilyn! I'm so sorry! I'll clean it up, just take me to school and I can do it later!"

"No, no, sweetie," I said. "I'm going to clean it up, don't worry about it. And you don't have to go to school today, you're sick, Jack."

"Well what are we going to do," he whined.

With a sick child in the back and orders not to come back home until God knows when, I had no idea what I was going to do. But some things hit you like a slap in the face. The idea of what to do with Jack did as such.

"I know exactly what we're going to do!"