A/n: hey. Uh, sorry for the shit post before lol
Tw: we are talking about depression here, there is going to be talks of self harm and abuse of drugs and such.

Connor's POV

My family out voted for me to go to this depression group after my suicide trial.

I told I'm fine and that there on my back nowadays, but here I sit, in the car, waiting for the group to start.

I hate the feeling of being here in the car, waiting for the time to tell me it is five.

Just knowing that my parent and sibling will never look at me the same. They just give me pity looks and say how much they love me. Exept Larry of course. He always will hate me. I will just have to get over that.

Before my suicide trial, he always said I am a freak thats a druggie and now, I truely am.
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Evan's POV

My mother tried to excite me to go to the depression group I go to every week. I also go to the anxiety coping group before hand too.

I don't really enjoy the feeling of people staring at me and telling me things that I don't believe in.

My mother tries her hardest to know that I won't pull any 'stunts' and likes to see me smile.

So I do, and I act like I am fine.
It gets really annoying where I have random outbursts of wanting to be alone.

"Come on honey! It is starting!"

Yay. I'm so happy to go.

I pull myself out of the passenger seat and began to walk by myself, into the conseling group house.
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Connor's POV

I tried to be slick and take some time out of me going by talking about....I don't even know. I pretty much rambled for a while.

While I was happily excited that they never caught on, my father did.
"Your five minutes late Conner, go." My father said plainly.

He never is amuse by me. It is usually Zoe.

I quickly flipped him off before walking out in the rain, getting emotionally ready to be torchured.
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Evan's POV

A boy strutted in, with more confidence than I will ever have.
He was wearing all black, and had an expression of 'i don't want to be here' and 'fuck off, I'm not in the mood.' Even so, he was pretty adorable.

"You must be Connor, you can sit next to Evan." The petite woman said to the tall boy.

Evan must be very lucky to sit next to him.

Like really lucky.

I would love to sit next to him.

Oh  shit.  I'm Evan.

I tried breathing smoothly and stop staring at the boy as he came closer to me.

My heart paced as I slowly rocked back and forth, trying to keep my cool.
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I walked in, not as happy as ever. I mean, it could be worse.

I could have spent a day with my father figure, Larry. Fucking would rather be here.

The woman who ran the place smiled as I came in, and gave me a happy look.

I held back from rolling my eyes and gave a fake smile for a few seconds before wiping it off.

She had told me to sit next to a dude name Evan.

I looked at her pointing before lining up where it has landed.

There it was, my empty plastic chair of faith.

My eyes glance to the 'Evan'. He was fidgeting badly and had a faint tint of pink on his cheeks.

His eyes were looking directly at me before they shot down in embarrassment.

I smiled on the inside as I calmly walked to my seat.
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Evan's POV

"Hey." A smooth voice said to me with a smile.

I waved ackwardly back, cursing myself for not saying something back.

I couldn't even say sorry because the woman, Asyiah, had already started to talk.

"So, getting to know each other, tell me why you guys are here.  We will go in a circle this way," she pointed and motion which way we are going, "and then we will get into more business. Say your name also. This is a safe place where thoughts can be heard. My name is Asyiah and I am here because I feel like no one deserves to be alone."

I try to relax.

It is going to be okay.

It is a safe place where thoughts can be heard.

As the circle went around, it was the same pattern.

Everyone felt like nothing by people. They felt like there was no help in the world and this stupid group won't help.

"Evan, sweetie, your turn."

I shot my eyes up and looked at the woman, leaving the space of thoughts I was having. I

"I-i am Evan Hansen, I am here because I have no reason to be here but I keep pretending like I do. Everyone treats me like a laughing stalk and my mom is slowly getting tired of me. I mean, I would too. Fucking has to check every nook and cranny of my room to take anything sharp or watch me take medicine so closely that I want a restraining order. She just is on me, since my dad is an abusive lazy ass drunk that left her. I guess I am showing some signs of it. She is slowly liking the feeling of alone."

I didn't mean to say all that. It just spilled out of my mouth.
______________

We had a long decision about it and didn't even get to the rest of the circle.

She kept putting the spotlight on me and I hated the feeling of it. It is like I could feel the eyes on me, watching my every movement.

I felt my anxiety raise and I hoped the session would end.
_______

Connor's POV.
It has finally finished and I felt bad for the guy.

The woman, whose name I forgot and can't pronounce, was forcing him to answer and making a really tense room. 

He dashed out of the room as soon as the words fell out of her mouth that this hellhole is over with.

I ran after him, in total curiosity to see the boy at a movies or so.

I finally saw him walking quickly around the corner.

"Hey, Evan!"

I ran uptowards him.

He turns towards me, tears in his eyes. Like a panic attack.

I couldn't care less about my name being called or in the future getting picked on.

"Uh, Breathe Evan, it is okay."

When I finally had calmed him down, I had smiled. A real one in such a long time.

"Wanna y'know, go on a date sometimes? I mean I know your probably not gay and such, but we could be friends."

He sweeped his hair out of his face and smiled at me.

"Yeah, that would be great."

We gave each other or numbers and waved each other 'bye'.

As I turned, Evan yelled 'wait' which made me halt right away.

I turned around and looked at the boy.

He quickly stepped up to me and placed my hair behind my ears and then kissed me quickly.

He fully ran to one of the cars in the parking lot, leaving me in shock.
_______

I got in the car, knowing no one can rain on my parade now.

"You don't listen Connor. We waited ten minutes now."

I shrugged as we sped off.

Maybe the best choice I made was to be alive.

A/n: shit is done. Also might have strep throat. Yay...

Love ya bubsy