Stars and grayed out clouds scattered across the night sky. I can't believe that I fell asleep. But then, thinking about the nerves that had kept her from sleeping well the last two nights, rectified the matter. Eight-thirty PM flashed across the digital clock on the nightstand. She grinned thinking of how thoughtful it was of Roman to let her rest. I hope that I can get back to sleep later tonight. Zara's curvy legs climbed down from the tall bed, sliding her feet into red fluffy slippers, she shuffled to the bathroom.

Bright light flooded the room and she squeezed her eyes shut for a second to adjust from the darkness. Popping them open one at a time, the sight in front of her caused a heat surge. She tossed her head back and burst out laughing. Hanging from the showerhead was huge, lush-green and red, berry-studded mistletoe. Zara fanned herself – I'm in so much trouble. She chuckled, stepping into the shower for a quick refreshing. It made her blush thinking that he'd been in the room checking on her while she was asleep.

Stepping from the shower, her feet sank into the thick memory foam mat. She toweled dry and slipped on her favorite gown that had been hanging behind the bathroom door. Pulling the long plaid flannel gown over her head, she made an adjustment to the bust line. Then stood in the mirror and fluffed her hair. With a swipe of lip gloss and a few puffs of Euphoria later, she walked out of the bedroom.

Laying eyes on the sexy man that turned her into a puddle every time, snatched her breath away. He sat in the high back leather chair with a cup of cider in his hand. Zara's eyes trailed over the silk black sleeping pants and nothing more that he was wearing. The dark, hazel eyes staring back at her made her hot as Greek fire. His smile frazzled her nerves.

"Thought you might sleep for the rest of the night. You were pretty wiped out."

"Thanks for letting me get some rest. I didn't know how tired I was."

"Is that what you normally sleep in?" he grinned, and then sipped a bit of cider. "Damn, baby, I know that it's cold in Georgia but red flannel. Not just red flannel but plaid. What, do you cut logs in your sleep? Looks like you're at a lumberjack competition."

She smirked at his pun, shaking her head. "There is nothing wrong with my flannel. It's comfy."

"Blue box, two steps to the left."

Zara reached down and pulled the glitter blue wrapped box from under the tree. Rolling her eyes at Roman, she unwrapped the box, pulling out a satin-pink baby doll. Zara gulped, "Scandalous."

Roman laughed, walking to the kitchen to pour her a cup of cider. "It's not, it's sexy."

"I'm just teasing, Roe. It's tasteful and I love it."

"Please go put it on or I will have to gouge my eyes out from all the flannel." His teasing made her laugh.

Zara sucked her teeth and scampered out of the room. Minutes later she returned, spinning around as she came out of the room. A sheer pink robe covered the sweetheart cut, baby doll. A wide pink bow rested right below the bust line. It flared out just a few inches below her knees. A pair of matching pink glitter slippers covered her feet.

Zara's heart stirred at his consideration of her comfort. The baby doll was sexy but modest. Though she loved all his attention, she still had to work through this new relationship between them. They were now more than friends, but less than lovers. The desire to be lovers was there, she just needed to push past old thoughts. She thanked God that he was patient and kind.

Roman whistled. "You look like a pageant queen."

Zara blushed and bit her lip.

"Please do not bite your lip. You have no idea what that does to me."

Now her cheeks were scarlet. "Roman," she breathed.

"I'm just saying."

Roman sat down next to Zara on the sofa extending a cup of cider. The cup shook in her hands. Taking a moment he wrapped his hands around hers. "It's nice to see you wear your hair down," he said, distracting her thoughts until he felt her hands calm.

"Thank you."

"I made a Christmas playlist while you were sleeping." With a call to Alexa, Celine Dion filled the room with Don't Save it All for Christmas. "Found some old school that we used to listen to at my parent's cabins."

"I miss them."

"Me too."

"Isn't it odd that the only happy Christmas memories that I have for the holidays are with your family." She finished the cider and placed the cup on the table.

Roman had never thought of that, but now that she'd mentioned it, there wasn't a holiday when Zara was not at their home. It didn't matter where his family went Zara was right along with them. Christmas shopping, visiting his grandmother in Tennessee, or taking a family ski trip to Colorado - she'd been there. "It was so normal that you hung out with us I'd never even considered it. We had some good times."

"As we talked this morning I realized something."

"What?"

"I realized that just like I can trace my happy memories to you and your family, I wish my parents had been as considerate. It's hard to imagine but I can't think of anything happy about my home life. No child should feel that way."

Roman lifted Zara and placed her on his lap. She rested against his shoulder, feeling his long- fiery strokes traveling up and down her arm. Having Zara this close was torture - soft, full-bodied lusciousness sat on the part of him that ached since she arrived. Plump, curvy legs that he'd rarely seen stretched across his lap. She'd rarely worn dresses. He intended to fix that – ten dresses were already under the tree. That familiar fragrance of Euphoria was home to him.

Roman thought that she had a perfect shape, but she'd always compared her figure to images that her mother shoved in her face. Those heavy breasts would be his undoing for the rest of his life. Keep things slow and steady. The mission foremost in his mind kept his feverish desire in check.

"I hate what your mother did to you - to us. I hate that she ruined your perception of self and distorted life. Making you feel so unworthy. Causing both of us to make compromised decisions. I never faulted you, Zara, I really understood."

"I always loved you and I wish that I could have loved like this way back then." She raked her hands through her hair, wrapping her arms around her body.

He melted against her, heart pounding. "I know exactly what you mean, Zara. If your home life had been different everything would have changed. The past can't change but we have today."

This was the most honest moment that they'd had all their lives. This is where Roman always wanted Zara to be, in his arms – vulnerable. They both had a lot to face. This whole day had been about pushing the dark clouds that had hovered over their lives away so that the sun could come forth.

"I didn't love myself," she choked, "What could I possibly offer you since I didn't know how to love myself? I was taught to hate myself. My mother's cruelty has done so much damage to my life. I believed that you could do so much better than me."

Roman would dare not try to imagine what it would have felt like to be in her situation. Only those that have lived through abuse can fully understand the ramifications of it. But he could empathize with her pain. He fully understood the effects that it had on both of their lives. Roman knew that deep in his heart that he and Zara would have had a relationship if it were not for the destructive poison of her mother's mouth and those that bullied her.

"How can you do better than a best friend that has always been there for me?" he said. "I thank God that we have a second chance."

***

The evening ended with N-SYNC's Merry Christmas, Happy Holidays song pumping through the house. They spun and sank into the joyful rhythm. Roman loved watching Zara cut loose like she used to do – hair slinging, fingers snapping and eyes filled with laughter. That playlist transformed the penthouse into party central. One song rolled out after another. When she broke out in karaoke vibe with Baby It's Cold Outside, he simply lost it, before joining in.

He swung Zara into his arms. "We've got to slow this down, treasure. I'm used to working out - but damn."

She laughed, tumbling into his arms. "Okay, can't wear out my buddy." Zara stepped away for a second to grab the remote. She thumbed down to 'Where are You Christmas.' Swirling energy in the room slowed to a smooth pace. Zara placed her head on his chest and they swayed, soaking up the realization that this is where they were always meant to be. He placed his hands on her waist with hesitation. Holding his breath, hoping that she would not move them away. She'd always been sensitive about her waistline. Instead, Zara leaned on his chest and rested her hands on his shoulders. He smiled. Thank you, baby.