The prostitute pulled away from Arenis hastily, letting out a yelp of pure surprise. Her hair was dripping and her bodice stained.

"What the...?" she muttered, giving me a dirty look. If a look could kill...

Arenis wiped her face with the sleeve of her jacket and dabbed her wet pants with the tablecloth. She remained serious. Eddie and the other crewmen had witnessed the whole scene and a heavy silence fell over the inn afterwards. What on earth had I just done? I had intentionally spilled whiskey on the Captain...! The prostitute left, furious, and disappeared upstairs, probably to change clothes. As soon as she was gone, Arenis raised her cerulean eyes to me and scrutinized me intently. I was paralyzed with terror and dared not move.

Everything happened suddenly. The Captain tipped her head back, as she was wont to do when she laughed, and burst into a roaring laugh that invaded the whole inn. "Jesus Christ, Adler! What the hell's the matter with you?"

"This place is disgusting. "

I got up from the table and headed for the exit. Arenis called my name, but I didn't turn back. When I was outside, I leaned on the front door seal and stood there, arms crossed over my chest and a grimace of irritation on my face. Eddie soon caught up with me. He ran out in such a hurry he almost ran into me.

"The Captain will kill me if I don't keep an eye on you."

"I don't give a damn."

"Oh, come on, don't be like that. "

I was furious, with all of them. "You did it on purpose, didn't you? Did the Captain suggest it?"

"What?"

"To take me to a brothel."

"No... What are you saying?"

"You intended to frighten me, to make me see what was coming to me if I didn't obey your damn orders, if I didn't surrender to all of you and integrate myself permanently into the crew. You are bastards, monsters."

Eddie was confused. "It's not like that."

"Sure, right! It was a warning, a threat!" I shouted. I felt my head whirling and I wavered dangerously. Was I... drunk? "I want to leave. I want to leave..."

"Miss Adler. "

I felt tears moistening my eyes. A sharp pain shook my soul. I opened my mouth and searched for oxygen, but I struggled to breathe. My chest was heaving, my legs unsupported. I felt trapped, felt like I was no longer in control of anything, not even my body. For all those weeks I had remained calm, I had learned what I had no desire to learn, I had submitted to my captors as if nothing was wrong, as if everything that had happened to me didn't bother me at all. I had pretended, I had tried to seem strong. I had held back that pain until, in that moment, I burst. Was it the alcohol that had released those feelings? Did the alcohol make me cry like that?

The world around me disappeared. Sounds were muffled, voices mingled with background noise. I could no longer distinguish anything. I was not able to.

The crisis lasted a long time. It seemed like hours, days, weeks. I could feel my lungs burning, sweat pouring down my back, my face wet with tears. What was happening? I felt like I was dying. I was going to die, I was going to die, any moment... But maybe it was better that way.

I felt someone squeeze my shoulder, but that touch hurt, it stung, like needles in the skin. I didn't want to be touched. I pulled away abruptly. I pushed away anyone who tried to come near me.

"Miss Adler."

I opened my eyes. Someone was calling me. There were many people around me, watching the scene.

"Go to hell. All of you," I ranted.

"Oh, we'll go, don't worry. In due time. Naade, Dilthey, get her up. Let's get her away of here."

They grabbed me by the shoulders and I wiggled furiously. "No! NO! Don't touch me! "

They dragged me to a deserted alleyway, where they laid me down carefully on the ground and moved a few steps away from me, as I continued to kick and move my arms haphazardly, fists clenched, yearning to vent my wrath on someone.

"I was quite surprised to see you so tame and docile all these weeks. You've been so good at bottling it all up, Miss Adler, at controlling your emotions."

"To hell with it! To hell with it!"

"But... I also expected to see you break down at any moment. It's not natural to suppress anger and pain, you know?"

I hated their faces, especially Arenis'. She was the one who had done this to me. Between sobs, I rose from the ground, straightened my back, and with a furious snarl, tried to strike her in the head. Arenis avoided the punch easily. She grabbed my wrist and twisted it around. A twinge of pain forced me to turn. She pinned both hands behind my back, and no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't escape her firm grip.

"Take deep breaths." Arenis was behind me, so close she whispered in my ear. "Come on. "

"No! Let me go, let me go! I hate you... I hate you! I have never hated anyone, but you... you...!"

"What is it? The moment of truth? All right, all right. Let it out all you want, I'm all ears."

I tried to pull away from her, but she held me so tightly that I couldn't move a single muscle. I tried to hit her with my legs, aiming for her knees, to no avail.

I screamed with rage.

"Speak freely, come now. Tell me all that you have so carefully avoided telling me all this time. "

"Let go of me!"

I screamed, again and again and again. The fact that I was pinned there like that, so close to the woman I despised, made me furious. I'd never felt such rage in my life. I had never hated anyone before. I'd always believed that anger wasn't part of me, that it was an emotion I didn't possess. I felt irritation, sure, but never anger. But in that moment, anger gushed from the bowels of my soul, in spurts, invading my body and mind. I could feel it coursing through my veins, feel it in my bones; it was everywhere. I realized only in that moment how much I despised those people, how much I wanted to scratch those sun-darkened faces.

"Speak, Eveline Adler! What am I?"

To hell with it.

"You're... you're a slimy and cruel person, you're a murderer and a manipulator, you're a bitch who goes around the sea and robs honest people..."

"Fine! What else? What else! " Arenis tugged at me to force me to continue.

"You use people as if they were your property and you so enjoy the power you wield over them. The power you have over men. So arrogant and amoral, so foul and lascivious. You are everything I don't want to be!"

When I stopped talking, I was out of breath. Aware that the situation had become dangerous, I suddenly froze. I had vented my anger, I had insulted her in every way, I had provoked the person who was holding me and she was only a few centimetres away from me. I prepared myself for the blow, I prepared myself to be punished.

Time passed, but absolutely nothing happened. My sobs diminished, my tears no longer flowed, my breathing became slower. I noticed Dilthey and Naade, a few meters away; both with tense expressions.

"Do you feel better now?" Arenis' voice, so close, made me wince.

I had calmed down, finally, and slowly my mind was clearing, becoming more and more lucid.

Horror suddenly invaded me as I realized what I had just said and done.

"It's okay," Arenis continued, when she saw me startled.

"Are you going to punish me for this?"

"No, Miss Adler."

"No?"

"I have no hard feelings about what just happened. As I said, I expected something like this. I know I'm your undoing. Yours and your family's. You hate me, of course you hate me. How can I expect you to respect me after what I've done to you? I won't punish you, because your contempt for me is perfectly reasonable. I will not punish you, because this was a time of crisis and you had not the slightest control over your actions, and, above all, I will not punish you because a punishment is meant to frighten, but you, Miss Adler, are frightened enough already."

She let me go. I took a few steps, to put some distance between us, after which I looked her straight in the eye. "Oh, you're so thoughtful," I mocked her. "So kind."

Arenis sighed and closed her eyes for a moment. "Listen. For your own good, I suggest you behave as you have done up until now. Or, at the very least, do it in front of my crew."

"So, if I understand you correctly, you accept that I hate you with all my heart, but you are advising me to hate you secretly?"

"For safety. If you began to openly display these feelings, I fear my crew would turn against you."

"I'm not stupid."

"No, you're not."

"This was just a moment of weakness. I guarantee it won't happen again, Captain."

"Very well," she sentenced. "Have you noticed, Miss Adler? You too pretend, in order to survive. Wipe your face. Recompose yourself. Now I want you to go back into that inn, with a big smile on your face."

"Aye, aye, Captain. " I gave her a smile so wicked that her brows furrowed.