It was in the corridor leading to the hold that it happened. Harris had ordered me to fetch a crate full of carrots to add to his soup. As I was carrying them to the kitchen, I sensed a presence in the half-darkness. The crate slipped from my hands. The carrots rolled on the floor.

"If you even try to scream I swear I'll tear your tongue out."

I started to run, but I was too slow. He lifted me off the ground at dead weight, like a doll, and threw me against the wall. The blow took my breath away and I almost fell to the ground. He, however, caught me forcefully and lifted me up, forcing me to regain my balance. I could feel his hands around my wrists, clasped in an iron grip. His body was pressed to mine; his hot, tobacco-smelling breath brushed against my ear.

He managed to hold both my wrists with one hand and with the other he explored my body, sliding his fingers down to my breasts. Tears came to my eyes at how hard he squeezed.

"You're so soft..."

I couldn't do anything. The fear had paralyzed me completely. I couldn't utter a sound or flinch at his touch. His hand dug under my dress, rough, ripping buttons and laces.

My eyes burned with despair and shame.

He pressed a kiss to my lips and pushed to stick his tongue in my mouth. His warm, viscous saliva made me nauseous.

"No..." I murmured, desperate.

"Shut up."

His erection pushed against my thigh and suddenly everything became more real. This wasn't a nightmare. This was really happening. From my throat, a terrible sob escaped. I tried to move, to regain control of my hands, but he held them so tightly that I was unable to move them an inch.

"Please..."

I saw his eyes light up and a scornful grin spread across his face.

"Milady, you have no idea how much I desire you. A woman of high status, and so pretty too..."

He nuzzled my hair. His lips sucked my right earlobe.

"I won't hurt you if you keep quiet. Okay?"

He unbuckled his belt and pulled down his breeches. His hand fumbled under my skirt and lifted it up to my waist.

"...no."

"Ssh. I said be quiet."

Then he pressed a hand over my mouth, hard. My tears gushed out relentlessly, my sobs muffled by his hand pressing so violently against my face.

I closed my eyes and prayed it was just a nightmare, one of those many nightmares I used to have at night. I wanted to wake up. I wanted to run away.

Please.

Suddenly, the man was thrown backwards, away from me. He fell on his back and hit his head on the floor. His member was exposed, his lowered breeches hindering his movements. Arenis pounced on him, holding a dagger to his throat.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing, Smith?" The woman's voice was harsh, so guttural and cold that it scared even me.

"C-Captain! It's... it's not what it looks like! We were just having fun, that's all!"

Arenis grunted. She grabbed his hair with enough force to make him whimper in pain. She pointed her index finger at me, forcing the man's head to rise just enough to look at me.

"Does this woman look amused to you, Mr. Smith?"

"Captain, it's not-"

"DOES SHE LOOK AMUSED?!"

Arenis' fury was so overwhelming she couldn't contain it. Her eyes flashed dangerously as she looked at Smith.

"No, no..." muttered the man, terrified.

A drop of blood ran down his neck.

Arenis closed her eyes then, just for a moment, and took a long breath. When she opened them again, she let go of the man's grip and stood up quickly.

Smith, with eyes full of terror, crawled like a worm away from her.

"You're out," Arenis said, now in a flat tone.

"What?"

"From now on you no longer belong to my crew."

The man pulled up his breeches and tried to get to his feet, hoping to regain some of his dignity. "You're joking, right? "

"Do I give you the impression that I'm joking?"

"But for such a trifle you can't...!"

"Of course I can. I am the Captain, therefore I decide."

"I can't believe this! You're banning me for what? For that bitch?"

"You have not abided by my rules, so I can no longer trust you. It's not very hard to understand. "

"It won't happen again, Captain! I swear to you!"

"I'm sorry, but I can't risk it."

"Please give me a second chance! I've never let you down before today, have I?"

"Smith, I'm not going to change my mind. You know that."

"So you are going to abandon me who knows where? Really, Captain?"

"I'm sure you'll be able to find another crew to take you back to Nassau."

"Curse you. You're a cursed bitch. Damn the day I decided to join this crew."

Arenis, hearing him address her that way, unleashed a mighty fist in his stomach. Smith collapsed again on the ground, breathless. He stared into space for several seconds before he managed to breathe again. His face was flushed with pain. Finally, he gritted his teeth and let out a whimper.

"You're lucky Miss Adler is here, or I would have throttled you with my own hands."

"Go fuck yourself, you daughter of a whore."

"Oh, haven't you had enough? You want more?"

Arenis then kicked him in the face. There was a tremendous crunch. Blood came out of his nose in spurts and Smith cried and screamed.

After that, hurried footsteps were heard. Dinnington and four other men arrived on the site. As soon as they saw the whole scene, they knew what had happened.

"Captain," Dinnington called.

"Mr. Dinnington, tell me," Arenis spoke up. "How many days until the next landing?"

"Four and a half, Captain."

"Good. Very good. Since Mr. Smith is no longer part of my crew, he will no longer receive any food rations. Are we understood?"

"Yes, ma'am."

"Take him away."

They grabbed Smith, who was still crying and writhing, trying to futilely escape the pain his broken nose was causing him. They lifted him forcefully and dragged him away.

I remained alone with Arenis. It took her a moment before she could rest her eyes on me. My knees could no longer support my weight and I slid to the ground, my legs clutched to my chest and sobs rising from the depths of my being. She took a step towards me, but when she saw me flinch, she stepped back again.

"That man will never touch you again," she spoke.

I quickly wiped my nose and face with the sleeve of my dress, trying to hold back tears. "I'm fine... I'm fine."

But I wasn't fine, it was obvious. My mind was making me relive the same scene a thousand times. I couldn't get those images out of my head, those sensations, that terror so intense it was clutching my heart.

Arenis sighed. "Take a deep breath."

"I'm fine..."

"Miss Adler," she admonished me. "You're in shock. "

"I'm fine, I'm fine... I'm fine."

I said it again and again, as if trying to convince myself, not her. I was fine. Everything was fine. I was no longer in danger. Yet, deep down, I knew it was not so. I was trapped on that ship full of men ready to do what they wanted with me. I was their prisoner. And no one could help me.

"I'll give you a hand to get up now, if you'll let me. "

"No! No! No!" I shouted. I stretched a hand out in front of me, palm open, trying to keep her away.

Arenis raised her hands in the air in surrender, pinning herself to the spot. "Alright, I won't come any closer. I won't do anything you don't want me to do."

I covered my bare legs with my skirt. I put it back in place and finally smoothed it with maniacal care, conflicted by the fact that it had all those sores that showed no signs of disappearing. I forced myself to get back on my feet, but failed several times, falling back to the floor, finding that my strength had invariably deserted me. I couldn't regain control of my body.

"I'm going back to work now," I said weakly.

"No. You're done for the day. Go to your cabin and try to get some rest."

I summoned the last of my energy and lifted myself up. I looked down the hall. I wanted to get out of there as soon as possible.

"Miss Adler," the woman called to me.

My eyes fixed on her jacket. I didn't look at her face.

"I promised you that my crew would not touch you, and yet it happened. I'm sorry."

I didn't know what to make of that apology. Her pity was empty. Her empathy was a joke. There was no truth in those words, otherwise she would have really tried to help me.