I don't have a plan, I just walk.

My feet walk without a specific direction, I don't know who I will meet but my senses are alert. My weapon in its holster, loaded and ready for any attack. I agreed with Norman that the next day I would go with Four and Tris, I would apologize and follow their plan...

Poor fool.

I think he forgets that we have similar personalities and our pride is through the roof. He forgets that I tend to break his promises, he should have been prepared since I promised him that I would stay in Amity, a day before the selection.

I left 3 hours after everyone fell asleep, I left the house and passed through the fence, it wasn't easy, but at least the small door in sector D isn't guarded, I guess, since we're not in Amity, they thought it convenient to leave the entrance unguarded. I crossed the inner hallways of the fence, evaded the guard personnel, and on the way stole a chocolate bar that was on a table and left that place unscathed. I only hope I managed to evade those rotating cameras in the long hallway, because I will be dead when I return.

I decided to open my chocolate bar, I took the first bite while walking through the rubble of abandoned houses, surrounded the trees, and jumped over the rivers. I missed going out, having my Dauntless suit on, without blood, completely clean. I felt like myself, what I always was, flexible, strong, and powerful. A dangerous woman with a terrible attitude.

I was walking in search of Evelyn, I admit it, even though I don't want to, I have to. They have ears and eyes everywhere, and that's exactly what I need. But I really don't know where they are, I walk blindly without any destination, with the vague hope that they will find me. I have been walking for at least an hour and I was already getting tired. If I continue like this, it will be dawn and it will be more difficult to return. The worst part is that both Norman and Four will realize that I lied. But I want to be two steps ahead of them, be prepared and avoid being surprised. I want to know what I have to face out there.

The small branches creaked to my right, slowly and subtly, and my hand was quicker to grab the weapon and point in that direction as the second branch broke. But nothing, a squirrel was instantly climbing the tree, leading me to conclude that I was completely alert and paranoid.

"I thought I heard a goodbye from you." The man's comment behind me made me jump and turn halfway to point behind me.

His carefree walk was innate to him, but so precise in his steps that he made no noise. Feeling like he owned the place, he scanned my body until he reached my face, tilting a typical smile of his.

"Oh come on, I thought you would miss me." I lowered my weapon with a smile.

"Were you looking for me, gorgeous?" Edgar asked playfully, approaching me.

I rolled my eyes. "I'm looking for Evelyn." I replied.

"I'm looking for Tobias, have you seen him? Evelyn sent me for him." He crossed his arms, exhaling deeply.

"For what? I doubt he wants to, even after everything that happened he won't change his mind, and you know it."

"Mmh, yes, everything went to shit, huh?" he let out a nasal laugh. "By the way, how's that going for you? How does it feel that your little boyfriend wants to execute you?" he asked with amusement, standing in front of me.

"None of your business." I growled.

"Yes, it is. Otherwise you wouldn't be here." He shrugged, smiling without showing his teeth. "I'd like to say I felt sorry for you, but I'd be lying. I enjoyed knowing we were right. You should have accepted Evelyn's deal, and none of this would have happened."

"Well, I don't regret it. It wasn't the right time."

"And you think we'll wait until, according to you, it's the right time?" He scoffed.

"I'm looking for someone who might still be alive. Depending on him, my next step will follow. I might fight, or I might not. I haven't decided yet."

"You haven't decided yet? They're hunting you, and you still don't know if you're going to fight. Why? Because of Eric?" He scoffed. "Please." He laughed.

"What happens with Eric and me is none of your business. Will you help me or not?" I crossed my arms in annoyance. I hated his sarcasm, I didn't understand it. I only knew he enjoyed seeing me at my lowest, from having it all to having nothing.

"Understand this, Grace. Have a bit more self-respect. Your boyfriend hates you, you should hate him. The pain of losing you didn't last him even a week." He laughed.

"What are you talking about?"

He smiled, a victorious smile, about to speak, his eyes shining. "Don't you know?"

"Know what?" I murmured.

"He's been bringing in loads of women to what was YOUR room. He's probably screwing them in the same place where you used to sleep. He forgot you so quickly that I can bet he has one between his legs right now." He finished with pleasure, savoring every word.

And every word was a knife in my heart. Every second was eternal as the world collapsed around me, or at least my heart suffered at the image of Eric betraying that commitment. Being apart didn't negate our commitment, but it was foolish to believe there was a grain of feeling from him. I regret what I did, and my depression trapped me in a room, waiting for my death while that man fornicated with women and hunted for my head. Was there really love? Did he love me?

I had to look away from Edgar, who seemed to enjoy my fragility. I swallowed hard, pushing down the painful lump that was about to escape. But I wouldn't give him the satisfaction, not him.
"You're very sure of what you're saying, aren't you?" I murmured.

"And you think he's subtle?" He smiled gracefully.

"Will you look for the person I need or not?" I growled, turning back to him with a serious expression.

"What do I gain?" he murmured, tilting his smile.

"Just say what you want already."

"You know well what I want." He bit his lip, barely holding back his smile.

That look was too obvious, his way of looking at me left me exposed. He wanted something so evident that there was no need to ask, and the situation disgusted me. I wouldn't sell my body for him to look for Uriah.

"Never." I declared.

"Why? Out of respect for Eric? Please, Grace, you need a damn fling to figure out what you really want. I don't know why you act tough when you're a complete idiot who let herself be treated like a damn toy, and despite everything, you're still willing to go back to him." He shook his head in disappointment. "What a shame." he murmured so close to me that I could feel his breath mixing with mine, smelling the mint on his breath.

Under different circumstances, I would hit him, even kill him with my own hands, but my emotional fragility was stronger than my cortisol. He had hit the nail on the head, I was an idiot who let herself be played with. He always did that, manipulated me, made me hope to be the woman waiting for him behind the door.Before shedding the first traitorous tear, I decided to swallow the lump in my throat a little longer and confront him.

"Forget it, I shouldn't have come." I murmured, turning around, ready to leave that place.

I would be lying if I said I wasn't tempted by his proposal, but he was a narcissistic idiot, and it would only continue the vicious cycle I tend to fall into and get lost in. But he didn't let me go. He grabbed my arm to stop me and let out a sigh, one that seemed regretful. He lowered his gaze, licked his lips, and looked back at me.
"What's his name?" he asked in a murmur.

"Uriah." I whispered.

His expression turned serious, showing a look full of seriousness and, above all, commitment. He nodded.

"In a week, come back to this exact spot, same time, I'll have information for you." he said with determination. With a serious face, without making a sound, he turned and left, walking away from me and disappearing into the darkness.

"Without anything in return?" I asked, confused.

He turned back and laughed. "It's not the time yet, Grace. But I sense it will be soon." Those were his last words before he vanished from my sight, disappearing into the forest.

             *****************************

Am I a fool for wanting to confirm what Edgar told me? Should I believe him? I felt distrust coursing through my veins, the need to go to Eric and see it with my own eyes terrified me but it was necessary. It's as if I wanted to give the benefit of the doubt to this man who more than once has shown me he's not the one, yet I keep falling for him.

I couldn't go to Amity like this. I let my sadness flood me as I walked aimlessly, not even bothering to look up. My only purpose was to avoid puddles and climb over huge rocks. Is this what Eric does to me? He doesn't let me think clearly, I let my guard down, and simply his blue eyes wander through my mind, his "I love yous," his kisses, and caresses. Everything about him drives me crazy.

So, my distraction didn't let me hear the Dauntless truck passing over the bridge, one I was under, and the blinding light nearly passed right over me. My savior from behind covered my mouth with one hand and used the other to grab me around the waist, dragging me into the shadows under the bridge to hide. I didn't need to turn around, his height, his breathing, and his scent confirmed it was Four, who still didn't let go even when the truck disappeared and continued patrolling the streets. I couldn't tolerate it and struggled to break free.

"You're welcome." he said with irony.

"What's wrong with you?" I frowned at him with annoyance. "What are you doing here?"

"No, the question is, what are you doing here?"

"None of your business."

"You're in the most dangerous area of the city, there's 24-hour surveillance, Grace. Erudite is two blocks from here. What do you think you're doing heading that way? You're compromising everything." He muttered irritably. "I believed in that great skill of yours that Norman boasts about, but really, is it true?"

I blinked, stunned, looking around and noticing a large, fully lit building just a few streets past the bridge where we were. I turned the other way and saw how far the fence was.

How had I walked so far?

I sighed. This was wrong, he messed me up. I shook my head, trying to get rid of those thoughts. "I don't know how I got here." I admitted.

"Why did you leave? I thought you would do it the next day after a plan was made." He crossed his arms, showing severity.

I rolled my eyes. "I only know one way, and it's my way."

"And how's that going for you?"

"Quite well. In a week, they'll tell me if Uriah is still alive." I shrugged.

He raised his eyebrows. "Who did you talk to?"

"That doesn't matter." I diverted the topic. I didn't need him to know I went to Edgar, though I doubted he knew his name; he knew he was connected to Evelyn, his mother.

"Grace." My name sounded bitter in his mouth.

"I have an informant, not just Joanna." I smiled.

"You went to Evelyn, didn't you?"

"Not to her."

"Tell me."

"No."

"Grace."

"Four."

"With that guy, right? The one who accompanies Evelyn." He let out a nasal laugh. "They're not to be trusted. This is a great opportunity for them, they'll use it to their advantage, and when they win, they'll take control."

"I know, I don't trust them. I just want to know where Uriah is."

"You'll owe them a favor, Grace."

"No, he'll do it for nothing in return."

"Don't be naive. They'll find a way to make you pay."

"Enough, Four." I stopped him with a frown. "They're not to be trusted, I know that. But this is between Edgar and me, Evelyn has no idea. And if we're talking about favors, it wouldn't be too difficult to repay him." I scoffed, thinking about what Edgar had asked before I refused. It wasn't impossible, though I'd feel like a whore. It wasn't something I was willing to share with Four.

My comment was enough to make him give me a dark and worried look. He seemed to know or suspect what the favor was.

"Would you sleep with him just for information?" he asked incredulously.

"That's none of your business."

"Forget it, you're not doing it."

"It's my problem, not yours." I growled. "Besides, nothing was agreed upon."

"Grace, respect yourself."

I shook my head, hating it. He had that puppy dog look again, begging me to do the right thing. His way of manipulating me drove me crazy. But I can't help thinking that Four is one of the good ones. Even though he's an idiot, he always sees the bigger picture and is willing to sacrifice himself to make tomorrow possible. He's the kind of man I usually avoid. Why do I get involved with men who don't care about my heart?

Eric is the complete opposite. He's the very definition of sadism, evil, and cruelty. He's the type of man who seeks his own benefit, no matter who he steps on to get to the top. And I was part of that. He was going to give me everything because he wanted to have it all, as long as I didn't interfere with his plans.

"Why are you crying?" Four whispered with concern. I hadn't even noticed, but he was already close to me, holding my cheek as the first tear fell.

I can't cry, he doesn't deserve it.

"I have nothing." I responded as another tear rolled down my cheek. "I thought I was bad, but no, I'm not. He is."

Eric has to change, not me. But it's pointless to change him, not after what I just found out. He stopped caring about me, he's already looking for women to fill his empty heart.

"Who are you talking about?"

"Eric."I murmured on the verge of tears. "God..." I exclaimed in a faint whisper as I wiped my tears away. "He's bringing in so many women. I... It doesn't matter anymore, I have to let him go."

My sudden change of topic didn't confuse Four. He understood what was happening and how much it affected me. It wasn't a problem for him, and he already had me in his arms, giving me warm and comforting support.

This is what I mean. I nearly killed his girlfriend, Tris. I've hit him so many times I've lost count. I've hurt them physically, and here he is, hugging me through my emotional misery, through the news that the man who almost killed him has betrayed me in this way.

Why does he support me when I've been such an idiot to him?

He likes you, my mind immediately responded.

Does he really like me? It's ridiculous, I'm not his type. I can't even think about it—it gives me chills. Even with our distance, so close, I looked up and met his brown eyes, seeing the compassion in his gaze. There was only one way to find out, and it scared me. I started trembling slightly at the ideas my mind was conjuring. If I kiss him and he stops me, then he doesn't like me. Simple, right?

I didn't think. I just acted, rising on the tips of my toes to reach his lips and collide with them.

The tension in his body didn't take long to show. He was surprised by my actions, and he didn't respond to the kiss at first, but he didn't pull away either. When I thought it was foolish and that I should pull back and apologize, his lips moved in sync with mine, creating an intense and much-needed kiss.

I'd be lying if I said this was just to test the theory, because it wasn't true. My heart is empty, and I need to fill it. I feel like a nobody, but Four's kiss is warm, rhythmic, and it creates in me a need to take it further.

I had to stop and look into his eyes. I needed them to tell me that what I was doing was right, even if it was all wrong. I was so used to seeing Eric's blue ocean eyes so close to me that looking at Four felt strange. There was an absence in my heart and the beginning of an addiction to the unknown.

I expected comfort in Four's eyes, but I only saw what I felt—guilt. This was wrong, but we didn't want to stop. The intention to consume our desires in a fierce kiss remained, letting ourselves be carried away into the unknown. This time, he took the initiative to bring our lips together, intertwining our tongues in an endless game of dominance. He pushed me against the bridge wall, in a shadowed corner.

"I hate you." I panted halfway through my comment as Four lifted me, wrapping my legs around his waist.

"Yes, it's mutual." he whispered, breathless.

Once again, our lips clashed, feeling our bodies pressed together despite the clothes that got in the way. But tonight was going to be like this. We didn't know what would happen tomorrow or if this would continue. The guilt would consume us, especially him, who would return to Amity to see the woman by his side.

However, the bulge in his pants that constantly rubbed against my intimacy showed me that he couldn't think clearly, and neither Eric nor Tris were in our heads. I no longer felt alone. Sadness gnawed at me from the inside, but the emptiness in my heart was being replaced by the passion of Four. I just hoped I wouldn't feel hurt or regretful afterward because, despite everything, it felt really good.