The cold has everyone in the pit with tequila in their system to warm their bodies. I check that it really is effective, meets expectations, and although it only makes them drunk, most of the time they at least have a good time. Or so I can see from Eric with a few drinks in him, and it's only 2 in the afternoon.

I decided to leave, turn around, and walk through the empty hallways peacefully, as if the burden on my shoulders had no thoughts and the breeze didn't give me goosebumps. I arrived at the new simulation room unconsciously, my feet walked on their own without me thinking about it. I entered the vast place trying not to be seen, and they couldn't, they were too focused on watching Lynn inside the simulation. I could see them concentrated enough not to notice my presence, they were trying to decipher the girl's fear, since, from outside the glass, it was impossible to distinguish what was happening. They only saw Lynn running away and fighting alone.

I entered the control room, which was in front of the simulation room, where only the leaders have access, and only we can see what is really happening.

And once I entered, I could see Lynn through the screen, who was running from a stampede of elephants, but these were at least twice their normal size. So I decided to sit and wait for the person I was interested in, Uriah.

A few minutes later, Lynn emerged, having conquered her fear once again, setting a new record. Uriah entered next, his shoulders slumped with laziness as he stepped into the fear landscape, showing little desire to be there. But he had no choice; he had to do it and face those fears that began immediately. Zeke was there, in the distance, not showing much interest, though he was failing. He seemed very interested in Uriah lasting at least a bit longer than the four minutes reflected in his history. Uriah is lucky that Jeanine is no longer interested in a divergent.

Uriah's first fear was a flock of eagles with claws sharp enough to wound him completely. They all went after him, hurting him thoroughly. His heart rate increased, his blood pressure reached a critical level, but it all lasted very little when he let himself fall into the corner of a rock. He cared little and after five minutes, with his breathing regulated, he let himself fall into the water, and the simulation ended.

I let out a sigh full of frustration, rolled my eyes in annoyance when Four opened the door to let the boy out, who immediately exited the place in embarrassment. He is very lucky that his companions are ignorant, not noticing a divergent like Uriah and preferring to ignore his condition, except for Marlene who approached him to assist him.

I made a face, ignoring Tris's simulation, focusing on watching the kids and thinking about how much I missed them. I felt very good when I trained them, when I heard their laughter and jokes, I felt like a true teacher, teaching them what I know. I have to help the boy, and if what Four says is true, Uriah needs me.

But I can't simply go and help him, Max will notice and use it as an excuse to have me killed, and I can't risk that. I have to distract him.

I lost track of time, and at some point, the room was empty. I allowed myself to leave the leaders' quarters while thinking about how I could distract Max and Eric so they wouldn't notice I was helping a divergent pass the final stage. I walked around the room with slow, uncertain steps, not knowing exactly where I was going, but with a clear mind focused on finding a solution.

Eric is drunk, and soon he will be more so. He will collapse in his room and sleep until the next day, when he will have a terrible hangover. That is my chance. It has to be today, and I need to find a way to get Max to ask for solitude, or at least to ensure he won't be interrupted.

"What? Are you interested in going back into the simulations?" Four arrived with some boxes in his hands, walking straight to the locker next to the fear landscape.

"Never." I scoffed.

Four began to place what looked like transmitter serums for the landscape into the locker; it was a new batch to be used tomorrow.

"So?"

I shrugged. "He needs me." I sighed. "I just saw his simulation, it's a mess, and if he continues like this, he'll never make it."

The brunette nodded, confirming what I had said. He finished placing the liquid transmitters, closed the locker, and directed his attention to me.

"I'd like to help him from outside, but I can't. I'd need to be a leader to gain access."

Four made a face, crossing his arms.

"And that's where I come in. With my ID, I can access this thing." I said, looking at the room I had just been in. "But it's not that easy. I need to distract Max, keep him busy enough tonight so he doesn't notice the fear landscape is active."

"It's simple." Four said with a shrug. "Girls are his weakness, find him one."

I raised an eyebrow, confused. "My solution is to find him a girl to distract him?"

"Yes."

"And what girl would be willing to sleep with Max? She has to be not too loyal to ruin the plan but willing to please him."

"I've given you the foundation. I'm sure you'll find something."

I don't have friends who fit that description, and Hill definitely wouldn't sleep with Max so I can help Uriah. Not only would she discover he's divergent, but she's also dating France.

"Fine, I'll get you a girl and help with this. But I need something in return." Four continued after a few seconds.

"What do you want?" I asked bitterly, already anticipating the weight of his request.

"Get Tris's parents out."

"Ugh, just forget about them."

"Grace, if you don't save them, she'll go after them herself, compromising the entire operation, our only chance." he argued. "Hey, you won't be alone. Assign me a position or tell me how I can infiltrate to get them out. Give me a single flaw in the attack structure so I can do it. You won't have to suffer any consequences, and I'll take full responsibility."

"There isn't a single flaw in the attack."

"Why are you so sure? Just tell me the basics."

"Because I organized the attack, Four. I didn't leave a single exit uncovered. I was tasked with creating a functional plan, and I did it perfectly. No Abnegation member will survive."

My words left him speechless, shocked by what I had said. Who wouldn't be? To him, I had crossed a line, condemning an entire faction.

"Tell me you're joking." he murmured. I shook my head with a grimace. "Why did you do it?"

"It was that, or they'd suspect me. If I didn't do it well, they'd test me, and everyone would see I'm divergent." I growled.

He sighed, looking away, surprised and filled with total disappointment, which he showed in his eyes and his rigid stance.

"So, what do you suggest? It's a quid pro quo."

He shrugged.

I rolled my eyes. "I think there will be a council meeting, even Abnegation will be present for the proposal to assign a curfew for that day. Eric and Max will be there. I'll use the opportunity to infiltrate and find them, warn them to leave a day earlier, and assign a hiding spot."

"Good idea." Four nodded.

"What are their names?"

"Natalie and Andrew Prior." he responded.

"Alright."

"Alright." Four repeated. "Thank you."

"Don't mention it," I shrugged. "But I warn you, Four. If this ruins my plans, destroys what I have, threatens my position, or Eric, I'll kill her. I won't hesitate. I won't tolerate another Andrea in this city."

"Don't worry, it won't happen. In the meantime, keep Eric in check, because I might just give him another black eye, or worse."

"You keep Tris in line, and I'll handle Eric."

We exchanged one last threatening glance, laying our cards on the table. I initiated this, and I have to stay firm, accepting that Eric could be a problem. Just as I'm willing to kill Tris, he's willing to kill my man.

             ********************************

I had to drag Eric out of the pit, against his will and straining my back, letting his weight fall onto me as I struggled to get him to our room. Dusk was settling in, and Eric's behavior had worsened to stubbornness, so I took him away to let him rest.

"Not cold anymore, champ?" I asked mockingly, opening the door to our room.

"Mmh, no." he replied with difficulty.

"Glad to hear it," I huffed.

I entered the room and let him fall onto the mattress, eliciting a groan as he stretched his limbs across the bed. I approached him and started taking off his boots and pants.

"Yeah, good idea. Let's have sex." he murmured with a sly smile, his eyes half-closed, on the verge of falling asleep.

I laughed heartily. Once I made him comfortable enough, I climbed on top of him with each knee on either side of his waist. Without putting my weight on him, I leaned in to kiss his lips.

"You're very drunk, Eric. There won't be any sex tonight." I murmured.

"I'm not that drunk." he scoffed. "If I were that drunk, do you think my friend down there would be this happy?" he smiled.

I shook my head with a grin. "He's always happy, it doesn't surprise me."

"He is when you're around." he murmured, caressing my cheek.

"Go to sleep, Eric. Tomorrow, if you're not hungover, there'll be sex."

"I love you." he murmured. "So much."

"I love you too, so much." I murmured back in the same way, leaning in for one last kiss.

However, halfway through my show of affection, he let out a snore, showing me he was already asleep. I got off the bed with a smile. I took his arm and flexed it while turning him onto his side, doing the same with his leg to keep him in that position and prevent him from choking on his vomit, in case he threw up.

I watched him for a few seconds after covering him with a blanket. I had to go, Four was waiting for me near the pit, but I couldn't leave. Eric was safe but vulnerable, and I felt the need to protect him in his weakness, as if at any moment he might do something foolish. I wanted to shield him from any harm that could strip away the little goodness he had left.

At this point, I feel like I'm the only anchor left to his goodness. I left the room without daring to look back, not wanting to stop and think about things since Uriah's safety depended on this. I felt like I was betraying Eric, the guy who tells me I'm the exception to all this, but I couldn't let it be just me; my conscience wouldn't allow it.

This all started when I began training the initiates. None of this would have happened if I hadn't accepted. Now, it's a lesson I've learned, and next year, I won't train them. My goal is Uriah's well-being.

Before I fully entered the pit, Four was already there, leaning against the wall with his arms crossed, staring at a fixed point. I approached him, getting his attention.

"Did you get it?" I asked.

"Of course." Four replied, nodding his head to gesture behind me. "At your twelve o'clock."

I turned and immediately saw Max, but he wasn't alone. Two girls were with him, one on each leg, and he wore a smile of total happiness as he looked at them.

"Who are they?"

"That doesn't matter, you've got your distraction." Four chuckled. "Now, let's go. Uriah is waiting for us."

          ***********************************

Upon entering the room, the first thing I noticed was the lights being off. Four entered first, turning them on and revealing Uriah's back as he sat on a bench in the distance.

"You're wasting your time. I'll never succeed, Four."Uriah grumbled in disappointment.

"Of course you will, darling. The difference this time is that I'm here."I said with a smile.

From the way he turned and the look of total surprise on his face, I realized he didn't know I was coming. He smiled and approached us both.

"What are you doing here? I thought you wouldn't train us again." he said, smiling timidly as he stood in front of me.

"I won't, I can't, but you're the exception. So, we have one night for you to get through this stage. It's all off the record, no one has to know. Is that clear?" I said, pointing at his shoulder and giving him a gentle push, making him laugh.

"The plan is simple, she will enter with you and help you complete your fears, one by one." Four explained.

The brown-haired guy approached with a syringe towards Uriah, who exposed his neck, ready for the injection. However, I stopped them.

"No, stop." I said before he could bring the needle closer. "He'll enter my fears, so he can see how it's done." The brown-haired guy smiled and nodded at me, and he injected me instead.

"I'll enter your fears?" Uriah asked, a bit shyly.

"Yes." I shrugged. "It'll be fun."

I scoffed as I approached the screen. I placed my thumb on the screen to start the simulation. As I pressed down, it displayed my ID along with my name, and the landscape lights turned on. Four moved closer to me, adjusting the screen.

"I'll just start it and wait outside in case someone comes." the brown-haired guy said.

"Excellent." I murmured. "The last thing I want are spectators, it's my first time entering these things."

"It's simple, it's like the simulations. Just with... more action." he shrugged.

I chuckled softly. "Uriah, come in." I encouraged as I walked to the room with transparent glass. Uriah followed, closing the door behind him. It was a small room, all white around us except for the glass wall separating us from Four, whom I nodded to start the simulation.

"Why is everything off the record?" Uriah asked.

"Because if they find out I'm here, helping you, they'll suspect, they'll discover you're divergent, and we're both dead." I turned to face him. "Max is with two distracted girls, and Eric is drunk. It's now or never."

Our surroundings suddenly changed, like in that advanced training simulation I had with my team. Dizziness swept over me, and out of nowhere, a cool breeze tousled my hair. If it weren't for Uriah grabbing my arm, I would've fallen, allowing me to look around. We were on a thick metal plank spanning two buildings, and we were in the middle of that support.

"Fear of heights, huh?" Uriah teased, standing up effortlessly. "This isn't real. If you're so scared, you could jump and imagine yourself in a different situation, and it would change at your whim."

My lower lip trembled as I took deep breaths. I closed my eyes, repeating to myself several times that this wasn't real. With trembling in my body, I stood up and faced him.

"Yes, this isn't real. But they outside can't know that you know that. A divergent jumps, a dauntless finds a way to save themselves. Before, I was at the top of the bay, now I'm here. Fears change, evolve, and others just disappear. Now you, think like a dauntless and tell me how we get out of here." Uriah nodded and looked around until he reached the end of that beam, pointing as he noticed it reached the end of a window. I nodded. "Excellent, walk."

I turned and started walking towards the end of the beam with Uriah behind me. I extended my arms to keep my balance and not let myself be overwhelmed by the fear that high heights usually cause me. I had to teach Uriah, not the other way around. I couldn't let myself be defeated in front of my initiate.

However, before we could reach the edge, that beam started to fall due to the weight we were exerting, destroying the building's structure in the process. I stopped immediately. "Stop!" I shouted as I stepped back, bumping into Uriah's chest. "The other side." I warned, turning.

As I felt the beam gradually decrease its height, with my heart pounding, I ran without letting myself be carried away by the constant slide my sole had with the metal beam. However, we made it. Uriah arrived in time and, without caring much, he broke the glass of the window to enter, followed by me, falling onto Uriah, who held me rolled over in the room.

I took a deep breath, letting out a laugh as I saw Uriah on top of me, not putting his weight on me but with his hands on the floor.

"It's not real. People outside would see us running around like fools, I know. But you gotta spice it up, add a little action."

Before I could speak or say anything, the simulation changed again. Another wave of dizziness hit me, and suddenly I found myself tied up, hands and feet bound, with my face covered.

"Grace?" Uriah whispered, bewildered. "What is this?"

"Are you tied up too?" I asked, resting my face on something. The movement of the vehicle passing over hundreds of bumps reminded me of that fear where James was the villain, the late James, I doubt he'll ever appear again.

"Each fear comes in order, it'll escalate, and the next one will be worse than the last." I murmured. "It's curious that you're tied up too, I hope it doesn't become your fear as well."

"And what is it?"

"They'll burn us alive." I replied with a smile. I knew he couldn't see my smile, but my tone of voice was enough for him to understand that I was smiling.

The car stopped, and footsteps approached again, coming to the back of it. The door opened, and as expected, they only took me out, letting me fall onto the ground. They roughly removed the sack from my head, and I was surprised to see that Max was the villain in my fear, and now that I think about it, it doesn't surprise me. My leader approached Uriah and removed the sack from his head with the same violence, giving him a bitter smile and leaving him inside while Max came to me and dragged me.

"Max?" Uriah shouted in panic from inside the car with the trunk open.

"Yeah, try to get free." I yelled. "It's not your fear, it's mine, watch how I handle it."

The Max in my simulations was apprehensive about the conversation he was having with Uriah, but this one dragged me and threw me onto the wooden spikes forming the bonfire, smiling at me with that malice that only he could display.

"In a week, he'll forget about you." he shrugged. "When he finds out what you've done, because I'll make sure he finds out, you'll just be history. And in two days, he'll have a new ass, wouldn't be the first time." he chuckled. "But you must understand that I have to enjoy this."

I don't know how he did it, but he was fast enough, or Uriah was taking too long to free himself, because by the time I had a broken tooth, my vision was blurry from his blows, and above all, he was tying me up with a certain precision.

He tied me to the wooden pole, and like James did, he lit the wooden logs around.

Now I understand, it seemed like two fears in one; they were burning me alive while telling me what I feared the most: Eric knowing what I had done behind his back. However, I couldn't just stand there thinking. Uriah looked at me with a certain fear while I gave him a smile to keep him calm and let him know that I would do something about it. And so I did, I did what I had done a couple of months ago in the simulations.

Once I fell to the ground, with the ropes broken and my hands burnt, I ran towards him ready to do anything, to take out the anger I had towards him for a year. I took his knife and as I thrust it into his eye, Uriah was running to my aid. Uriah took me by the shoulders, pulling me away from Max while taking my hands, probably to check my condition, but the simulation had changed. My tooth was back, and my hands were healed.

I looked up, connecting my gaze with his. His hazel eyes looked at me with a mixture of concern and surprise. I gave him a smile, lowering my hands.

"It always hurts, but it's not forever. It's all in your mind." I murmured, turning around to look around.

"Where are we?" Uriah asked.

"The last fear is the worst. I have to go through that door." I pointed to the metal door.

"The last one? Do you only have three fears?" he asked incredulously. "I have to kill an innocent, and that's my fear, killing someone I care about."

I opened the door, giving one last look to Uriah, letting the boy close it after him. But it wasn't a pleasant sight. I hoped to see my old best friend, the redhead, but no. Eric had Uriah against the wall, beaten, tortured, almost like Oliver was.

"Kill him." Max arrived by my side, standing between Eric and me, he handed me the gun and I just took it with trembling hands. "You brought him here, you finish the job." he ordered.

Max stepped back, as did Eric, who didn't show any expression other than his typical blankness. Eric isn't part of my fear, he doesn't terrify me, but what he can do to those I care about.

"I have to kill the innocent, I have no choice." I murmured so the real Uriah could hear me. "It's either that innocent or me." I raised the gun, aiming at the boy.

The fake Uriah lifted his face in terror, a tear rolled down his cheek, sobbing, just like Oliver. I shot without hesitation and turned away as the simulation came to an end, and we were back in that white room. I left without looking back, walking away from that room towards the opposite side where there was an emergency exit, and the night was untouched. The breeze reached my hair as I leaned on the railing and looked down.

I walked away without looking back, distancing myself from that room and heading towards the opposite side where an emergency exit was located, while the night remained unchanged. The breeze caressed my hair as I leaned on the railing and lowered my gaze.

The door opened again, and from it emerged Uriah, walking slowly until he stood by my side.

"She used to be my friend." I whispered. "Tiana."

"What was she like, Tiana?" he asked in a murmur.

"Red-haired, brave, crazy, a sweet girl who always supported me, even when I threatened her with death." I chuckled.

"Where is she now?"

"She's dead." I replied with a lump in my throat. "She fought alongside me during last year's divergent rebellion." I cleared my throat. "Those who matter to me die, it's a miracle that Eric is alive." I turned to look at Uriah. "And you, you should stay away from me." I chuckled.

A few seconds later, his hand rested on mine, pulling me away from the railing to intertwine our fingers.

"I won't." he whispered. "Finally, I can understand the great effort you make to keep those you care about safe, and I'm grateful to be part of the group." he smiled.

I smiled, looking at his bright and hopeful eyes under the light of the lamp in the Dauntless compound. I nodded and turned my gaze back to the Chicago skyline, still holding our hands together.

I didn't exactly know what was happening to me, but I felt vulnerable. Uriah managed to redeem me, making me release my sins and willingly submit to the judgment of justice. At that moment, my lower lip trembled as I tried to articulate some words while still looking at his innocent face.

"Forgive me." I murmured, making him turn to look at me. "I'm not the heroine you think I am... I..." I swallowed and looked away for a moment. I cleared my throat, trying to gather strength. "Oliver died because of me, and... and I know you're looking for him, blaming the other leaders, but I'm not so different from them."

Uriah took me by the shoulders, placing me in front of him. "Do you regret it?" he asked in a whisper.

"Every day. If I could do things over, I would do them differently." I replied without thinking. "They knew I had a divergent in my group, I had to choose, and I did. I preferred to see you safe, and I hate that I didn't do more, I hate that I couldn't save him."

"Then never say you're like them." he embraced me tightly.

It didn't matter that I was his leader and he was simply my initiate, and above all, that I showed vulnerability to him. Nothing mattered anymore; Uriah was more than an initiate; he was my friend, a loyal companion, an innocent boy I wanted to protect from harm.

I returned his embrace tightly. I didn't cry, I wouldn't allow myself to. I needed that comforting hug from Uriah, to show me that he didn't hate me, even if it meant something more to him.