I've always been a lover of silence, that small moment where there's no noise and you can hear your breathing perfectly, feeling your lungs fill with air and how you exhale.

But I hated this silence. I loathed the uncertainty and nervousness running through my veins, the suspense and eerie silence were torture to me. A betraying tear ran down my right eye as I looked down at the tiled white floor. I kept my gaze lowered as my intertwined fingers rested on my thighs.

I felt like a child, but a foolish one, a child just scolded awaiting the worst punishment, my terrible consequence that would haunt me for life. Eric always knew, he knew I was divergent, and now that I think about it, it was so obvious. We're talking about Eric Coulter, from Erudite, he himself confessed to killing more divergents than any of the leaders. Both Hill and Jeanine spoke wonders of his incredible "gift" I wasn't going to be smarter than him.

He promised to protect me, and I messed it up. I'd like to say I walked into the lion's den, but I'd be wrong, I walked in with the devil himself and ruined it all. I want to lift my gaze, look at Eric, and ask him what I could do, what solution there is. But it's pointless, I screwed up, I have to face my own consequences. It would be best to get up and apologize to him, try to get out of this alive, but if I don't make it, I'll die for my actions. Eric gets along very well with Horus; they've already made amends, so he'll take care of my cat.

I hope Four takes care of my initiates, I should have made a will before this. I sighed. "I... I'm sorry." I started speaking in a whisper, enough for Eric to hear. I got up from the floor, wiping my tear, and lifted my gaze to him, noticing how he looked at me. "Sorry." my voice broke. I couldn't say another word, I walked towards the door.

"Where are you going?" he asked with a hoarse voice.

"To Erudite." I replied without daring to look at him, simply focusing on my goal and walked towards the door, passing by him. However, he stopped me, his hand gripping my arm firmly as he got up.

"You're not going alone, let me think." he said.

I turned on my own axis, looking at Eric, who had a downcast face and eyes full of information, he was thinking.

"Eric, if I go, it's clear what will happen, but if I don't, they'll suspect, and if they know that you know, I'll drag you down with me." I raised my hand, placing it on his chest. "Thank you for trying to save me, but I can't not go, I won't risk you being harmed."

"Grace..." he began speaking, taking the hand on his chest. "You're not going alone." he stated.

I averted my gaze, feeling the tears about to come, my eyes stinging and the knot in my throat growing tighter with each passing moment. I had to press my lips together to keep from sobbing. He took hold of my chin to make eye contact, drawing closer and wrapping an arm around my waist.

"Why are you doing this? You must hate me, I messed everything up, I'm a divergent and you hate divergents. There's nothing to be done, you've been saving my skin, but this time it's inevitable." I murmured.

He sighed, made a wry expression, and let out a laugh, shaking his head as he cradled my cheek with his hand.

"I'll save our skins once again, Grace. And please, let it be the last time. There are no more secrets, it's over. Trust me." he whispered, leaning in towards my lips.

I welcomed his lips eagerly, a soft and tender kiss, comforting. My heart filled with warmth as I figuratively melted into his arms, trusting him completely, with my eyes closed.

"What's the plan?" I whispered once the kiss ended.

"You were pregnant, remember?" he asked with a smile. "Well, you're going to pretend to be pregnant again. The test is lethal, and Jeanine wouldn't dare give it to you knowing you're expecting."

"Isn't that risky?" I asked in a whisper.

"Do you have a better idea?" he countered.

I shook my head. "No. I haven't thrown away the ultrasound images yet. I'll go get them."

***********************************

"Do you think it will work?" I asked nervously, holding the ultrasound images in my hands.

It was the first time I saw him driving at an incredibly slow speed, even slower than I would drive. It seemed like he didn't want to arrive, and I couldn't blame him; I didn't want to either. He didn't show signs of nervousness, he appeared calm with his serious face, but I knew it was a façade. He gripped the steering wheel tightly, his scarred knuckles turning white, his jaw clenched, and his expression blank, indicating that he was deep in thought.

"Grace, I'm capable of impregnating you right now if it means it will work." he spoke without taking his eyes off the road.

Now that I think about it, aborting had been a bad idea. If only I had kept it or accepted bringing it into the world, my immunity pass would be intact. Am I a nearly motherless scum for thinking like this?

I don't know, but as I looked at the ultrasound photos, I could see the tiny shrimp forming, and I made a grimace as I caressed the paper.

Eric's hand intercepted my field of vision, taking the photo from me while his other hand remained on the steering wheel. Occasionally, he glanced at the photo and then at the road, expertly driving despite the distraction.

He smiled seeing the ultrasound, and he returned it without looking at me. Even if he denied it, I knew he would have been a good father.

"How did you know I was going to Erudite?" I asked after a while.

"Max told me. Jeanine canceled Jina's visit so you could go. She's only expecting you, and Max told me because he knew I agreed not to involve you with her." he replied with a smirk.

I nodded. "So Max knows that you know that I am..." I left the words hanging, not needing to say it for him to understand what I meant.

"No, he doesn't know. He thinks you'll go against the plan because you're Freya's daughter. He sees Freya reflected in you, and he doesn't like you."he shrugged.

"Why didn't you ever tell me?" I asked suddenly, having many doubts and mental gaps. He stayed silent for a few seconds, turning to look at me with those blue eyes that I loved so much. Then, he returned his gaze to the road.

"I don't know. I wanted to see how far you'd go. A divergent struggles to stay unnoticed, but not you."he chuckled, shaking his head. "You insisted on being a leader, making everyone see you, which was totally stupid. Then I thought you'd get scared. Grace, I don't just kill them; I hunt divergents, so I planned to keep it a secret and let you think you had beaten me."

"I would have liked to know." I murmured, lowering my gaze.

"I wish I could say the same, but I think you were probably scared of me." he chuckled.

"You have no idea." I whispered, averting my gaze to the window.

I felt his hand on my leg, gradually moving up to my thigh and resting there for support. I smiled without looking at him as we approached the Erudite faction from afar.

My pulse quickened as we were seconds away from arriving, and Eric parked the car in a distant spot in the parking lot. But that wasn't enough to prevent a passing Erudite from seeing us as odd for parking the truck in their faction.

"Let me do the talking. You were 6 weeks pregnant, now you're 8, almost 9. Don't get nervous, and don't panic. If they ask why I'm here, tell them I didn't want to leave you alone. Then I'll take over. You don't know anything right now, but I do, and let's keep it that way. Understood?" he specified authoritatively, without showing any signs of weakness or nervousness, which helped me relax. "They have an excellent maternity program. They might offer their services for a check-up today. Tell them no, you just had an ultrasound, and everything is fine, but you would like to deliver here."

"Isn't it dangerous? There will come a point where they'll expect the pregnancy to show." I asked nervously, handing him the photo.

"No, we'll fake a natural miscarriage in 3 weeks, enough time for them to find a test subject and forget that they haven't injected you with anything yet. Now, give me the ultrasound, I'll show it to them." he replied.

"Why are you so sure they'll forget?" I asked nervously, handing him the photo.

"Because you'll do an excellent job at this. If they ask for a tactic to torture an Abnegation, you'll come up with the best technique to make them suffer and beg for their life. Jeanine will forget that you could be the enemy because your proposals will have to be superior to those of any Dauntless. Understand?" he said.

"Understood." I sighed.

I really messed up; I got myself into a very dangerous situation where my life depended on it. My stubbornness to know the truth condemns me. "Curiosity killed the cat." a saying I now understand the truth of, and although it's true that the cat died knowing, I just hope not to be that cat.

"I should have listened to you." I spoke resignedly.

Eric smiled mockingly, letting out a chuckle. "Yes, you should have." he said as he got out of the truck.

I did the same, my heart in my throat as I walked around the vehicle and approached Eric, who waited for me to walk alongside him. He entered as if he were an expert in the place. I noticed how the Erudites stopped seeing the vehicle as odd once they saw the pilot, they knew him perfectly, as if his presence were common.

We approached the elevator, Eric ignored the greeting of the receptionist at the entrance, so I did the same, trying to keep my expression as blank as possible. We seemed to go up all the floors in the cubicle, and through the large window, we could see that we were going up more than 10 floors.Everything was white and blue with gray parts; it was like seeing Eric's old room reflected in this place.

The doors opened, and I was the first to step out, courtesy of Eric, who followed me when we stood in front of a white door.

"Ready?" he whispered almost inaudibly but gesturing so well that I could understand.

I nodded in response to his question, then he opened the door, and we entered, seeing a couple of guards in the distance and Jeanine sitting at the far end in a perfectly arranged room.

Our presence was easy to announce; the leader of the Erudite faction stood up from her seat and walked towards us.

"Grace, it's nice to have you here. Make yourself at home." she smiled forcedly, glancing at Eric. "I remember telling you that we would be alone."

"Thank you, Jeanine. Forgive me, I insisted to Eric, but he refused to leave me alone." I grimaced, shaking her hand in greeting.

Jeanine turned to look at him sternly, as if scolding him with her gaze, one that sought an immediate explanation. A face where not an inch intimidated Eric.

"They asked her not to make sudden movements, to take care of herself, and above all, to reduce training. It's risky for both of us. I won't leave her alone." Eric immediately said.

Jeanine then turned to me with surprise and confusion, as if she already had the idea but needed to hear it.

Eric took the ultrasound out of his jacket. "She's expecting." he announced, handing her the photograph.

The blonde took the ultrasound, making a surprised sound. She opened her mouth slightly as she looked at me.

"Grace, you're pregnant." she murmured in surprise. Then she frowned, as if having a revelation, she turned to Eric with annoyance. "Eric, she's not even 18, you should have some respect not only for her body but also for her. It's expected to be high-risk,." she exhaled with annoyance at Eric's eye roll in response. "Grace, I can gladly send you to the maternity apartment, it's excellent and fully functional. We'll make sure you both are okay."

I smiled, placing my hand on my flat stomach affectionately, as if it were still inside me and I were the happiest woman alive.

"I appreciate it, Jeanine. I just had the ultrasound done in Dauntless this month, although I would like to deliver here, I know it's still a long way off, but I'd like to prepare." I said.

"Of course, you're welcome. Next month you can come and continue with the check-up." she smiled without showing her teeth, then turned around. "Come with me. Would you like some tea?" she walked towards the lounge.

I felt strange, different, especially with Eric's hand on my waist, guiding me towards Jeanine, indicating that I should react. So, with a slightly hurried walk to reach the sofa, I sat down with a smile.

"I'm fine, thank you." I murmured.

The blonde sat down, crossing her legs. "I think your pregnancy will affect the plans a bit, especially with the plans I had for today." she grimaced. "I suppose I'll have to make an exception."

"What do you mean?" I asked, trying to feign confusion.

"Don't worry, everything's fine." she smiled, taking her tea. "Do you understand the rebellion that Abnegation is taking and the scarcity of resources? It's a problem that we cannot let continue, and I'm creating a plan to prevent it."

"Of course, I understand. It's time to do something." I nodded.

I should start reading Erudite's articles, inform myself a bit. I'm ignorant, and yet here I am pretending to understand it all. One thing is clear: in Dauntless, there are no longer fruits and vegetables, no harvested and fresh food; we have cans instead. Although I couldn't blame Abnegation, I could say there's an explanation. I remember Eric went to Amity for food distribution, but his notes were perfect, everything goes to Abnegation, and they send us the leftovers from the Factionless. Now I understand, Jeanine hates the abandoned. If it were up to her, they wouldn't exist; her ambition leads her to remove Abnegation from power.

"Exactly. I want you to help me, I'm forming a team, and who better to gather the brave Dauntless. It's time to stop them."

I was getting desperate; her peaceful way of speaking, idealizing a coup d'état, was starting to give me a headache.

"Of course, the other factions will refuse something like this, but they'll have to understand it; we can't let it continue..." Jeanine paused as I began to speak, interrupting her.

"Jeanine." I began, "I admire your way of speaking and conveying ideas, but not here. Stop idealizing a concept that personally doesn't make sense, just say it."

I don't know what I was doing, but it worked. Despite Eric's glaring look demanding that I shut up, Jeanine smoothed her lips, tilting her chin up.

"That's why I asked you so much, Grace. I knew you would understand. So, do you know what I mean?"

"You're planning a coup d'état. But you need the brute force on your side, and that's why Dauntless." I leaned back on the sofa, crossing my legs.

"Do I have your support?"

"Of course." I smiled without showing my teeth.
"I never liked Marcus." I shrugged, "but not all Dauntless will comply, Jeanine. Some come from Abnegation, and everything can turn against you."

She smiled, a smile full of victory and triumph.

"I have it covered. We will induce Dauntless to a serum, it's a brain transmission where we can control them from the computers. They'll never know what happened, and we can create our own version of history."

"And what will that be?"

"The Divergents, it's clear. I haven't been able to make the serum effective for people like them. In the attack, they'll come out like cockroaches when the light turns on, and you, the leaders, will kill them, and we'll rewrite history."

"And what about Abnegation? At the end of the day, they'll be able to speak."

"I doubt it, they'll all be dead."

My spine tingled as I heard her speak.

I asked her to stop having that Erudite tact and eloquence, and this is what I got, the harshest words from the leader of Erudite. It will be a massacre; I agreed to participate in the eradication of an entire faction, and it hurts my heart. I hate Marcus, but I know there is a part of the faction that is good and doesn't deserve something like this. I feel guilty, but I can't afford to show it. I haven't pulled the trigger yet, but my hands feel dirty, filled with blood and guilt. Now I understand why Max didn't want me here; I have the urge to kill her; my hand itches, begging me to take the gun and shoot her, or even gather the information to stop her, ask Four for help, and be the heroes.

Despite not wanting to, I owe it to Eric. I'll have to kill innocent people, even when they beg for their lives. I have to take power away from Marcus and give it to Jeanine. I've never felt so bad as I do now, but it's the consequence of leadership, and I'll have to accept it.

"Perfect, when do we start?"