Outside of this room was a city

Outside of this city were people

Around those people was a world

A world I don't belong to

How did I become this person

Even if I begged for freedom

Laughter is what I lacked

Peace was what I never had

My being was lost

Everything had disappeared before me

I imagined a world I dreamed of reaching for

A world I could escape to live the life I could have had if only

If only

If only

If only

IF ONLY I COULD

i couldn't

everything around me was nothing of importance

if i could feel the stars

if i could see the moon

if i could walk to the sea

listening to the waves move

feeling the glittering sand between my toes

if i could smile again

if i could reach out to someone for help again

if i could rest under the sun

if i could only enjoy life as how people enjoyed it

if only i could

but I couldn't .