coming through from the future, ok, these last few parts were written during a, uh, not so desirable phase. some kind of an all-time low, wherein i was still convinced that someone would help me out. and i actually thought ranting here would fulfill that cause? good lord, what a disappointment of a kid

seriously tho, apologies to whoever had to see all that bulshit. but whatever, now i know that the only one capable of giving me a boost up to climb out of that pit is me. i don't need people to help me out, because usually they just make it worse, and no matter how much i try to be honest, it just backfires because all they ever want to talk about is themselves.

for example, i got sick one time, and it was very bad. i spend the whole day throwing up. then i emerge from the bathroom and the next thing i hear is,

"omg my *insert some stomach disease* is triggered."

like, ok, what is your point?

anyways, i'm not going to press on that matter further because it's not a necessary thing to do for this chapter, but i'll be yeeting out now. and i can only say i'm already better. who gave me a hand? no one. i'm capable of climbing the fuck out of that ditch on my own, because people in general are just absolute bulshit. and yet i thought to hope for help from them?

lmao.