Annabeth P.O.V.

He's sitting across from me, eyes sparkling like the dull rock I found in my super lit, on fleek and athletic shoes, earlier. 

"Mother pegasus, dude, that hurt like a Tartarus on a sword!" I sang on key, as I remembered the pain.(*) 

SUDDENLY, OUT OF NOWHERE, COMPLETELY UNEXPECTEDLY, a waiter came up to us at the fancy restaurant we were at.

"Excuse me, you've been here for 13 hours and 42 minutes. We're going to have to kick you out if you don't order within the next 8 hours and 39 seconds, oh 38, 37, 36-"

"-OH MY GODS! (And goddesses! And celestial entities that don't want to conform to the heteronormative, mortal concept of gender! Yay equality!) WE HAVE TO ORDER QUICKLY, GUCCI PRADA PURSE-Y(Perseus Jackson, my boyfriend)" I said in a dodgy manner.

"K, babe. Let me just soak my feet, super totes A.S.A.P.ly fast." Percy implied reasonably.(**)

Then I had a TOTALLY heterosexual panic, when a very attractive (I'm gonna say female, but I don't want to assume anything, so I apologise if that's incorrect.) female walked up to us. Her makeup was totally, ON FLEEK, LIKE, SERIOUSLY, HO- WHA- WAS THAT CONTOURING, OR WERE HER CHEEKBONES JUST THAT JAW DROPPING.

"wHaT aRe YoUr PrEfFeReD pRoNoUnS!?" I said as I seductively fell on the floor. 

"She/Her, thank you so much for asking, I would like to make a subscription to you." She said, staring at my attractive arm joints. 

"LoL sAmE!" I said while returning the gaze. Daaaaaaaaang, her elbow was fiiiiiiiine. No homo though.

With her hand, she yanked her head up, so her gaze was now fixed on the roof, and begun steadily flirting with Percy.

"If you were a different geometric vegetable, you would be an acute-cumber!"

"Am I an unborn chicken fetus? Cause I CAN MAKE YOU FEEL EGGS-CELLENT."

"Are you a book? Cause I'm judging you by your cover, and I don't even know you, and we might not even get on, and pretty much no one thinks you're cool nowadays except me, so you should probably date me, because no one else will pick you up."

"Erm, I mean... Are you a book? Cause I wanna pick you up."

Those two things were pretty much the same things, but I let it slide because of how squishy her face was.

"Are you a cup? Cause I would mug you if you weren't so attractive."

"Are you a slightly warped mirror? Cause you're almost as attractive as me."

"Are you a tooth? Cause if I was a Dentist I'd want to take you out."

I bowed at her amazing pick up lines and then stood up. 

"Congratulations! Those were fantastic," I started arrogantly. "NoW sToP fLiRtInG wItH mY bOyFrIeNd!... And start flirting with me!" 

She turned in three circles to look at me, finally ripping her gaze from the moth on the roof, named Gary. Her skirt flared up like Chiron and Mr D spinning in their kilts.

"I was flirting with the moth. And you ;). At the same time, you uncultured swine. No hetero though." 

She took a quick glance at Percy, who was bathing in a bucket of cheap champagne with the waiter, who was still waiting for us to place an order.

Finally, I knew it was time. I gave Percy a look, he nodded, displacing the waiters chin from his shoulder, he knew what we wanted, we both did.

"CAN WE PLEASE HAVE A SINGULAR FRY SOAKED IN A BOWL OF CAVIAR, WITH FOUR STRAWS IN IT, WITH A SIDE OF GRATED GRAPES AND ONION (TO HONOUR SHREK)."we screamed in sync. We thought for a moment, and gave each other the look once more. "And a teabag."

Before the food arrived, I left with Gary and Ronda (the girl who who was a cheeky flirt.), to Hawaii, where we all got married and lived happily ever after. Percy stayed behind, nibbling politely on our meal, with the waiter.

*Yes, that is a vine.

**Yes, that is a reference to the last chapter.

Authors note:

Hi. 

I'm sorry. you know the drill, my cousin is here. Again, sorry.

Bye.

-tinycactusqueen and