Song: I won't give up on us by Jason Mraz

I didn't feel like going home so we decide to just sit and talk for a while.

"I'm sorry for not wanting to stay."

"It's no big thing I mean at least you tried to go. I feel like I keep making you do things that you don't want to really do...I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry; really if I didn't want to I wouldn't have gone." In reality I didn't really want to go but everyone kept making a big deal about it so I forced my feelings to the side and made myself go.

"So...you don't really care for parties and being around people. So tell me what do you really like to do?"

"Well...I...I liked the gardens. It seemed peaceful there. I felt like for once I could breathe and no one was like watching me you know. I like being in my bedroom...maybe for the same reason I feel isolated and safe in there."

"So my house bothers you too uh," he says with a hushed tone.

"In your room not so much. The rest of the house is kinda of nerve racking. I guess because your siblings are just too loud. Although Kia is really cool when it's just him. I enjoyed being with him the other day."

"About that, he wants to know when you are coming over again to play with the dinosaurs."

"Maybe this weekend." I smile at him.

"Maybe," he sounds surprised  a little.

"Yes maybe. Why do you have plans?"

"Actually we have a gig to do tomorrow night. I would ask you to come but it will be really loud."

"Oh...well...that's ok I can always come over Sunday."

"That will be good."

We sit in silence for a while and then I feel his hand on mine. I don't flinch away because he grips my hands with just the right amount of strength.

"I love this dress on you...you are so freaking gorgeous." He says in a smooth casual voice.

"I know...thank you. You have mentioned it several times tonight." I laugh.

I don't know how it happens but we are in the back seat. Hands roam all over me. At one point he has his hands on my lower back and he keeps rubbing in the same place. I grab his hand and look at him shaking my head no. He remembers and then grasps my whole bottom to pull me into him and he holds his hands there in place. Our lips meet again and this time he tries to add his tongue in the mix. Kissing is one thing but the wetness from his tongue invading my mouth is not happening. I can't look past the feeling. I'm about to gag so I pull away from him. He just looks at me without saying a word.

"I'm sorry...maybe we should just stop. This is so not working."

"Ok, we don't have to kiss that way." He tries to smile back at me. He pulls me in again and starts kissing me. His hands find their way into my dress coming up along my thighs. I grit my teeth. I think he somehow notices and he takes his hands out. But then they are on the back of my dress zipping down the zipper in the back. He pulls the dress down just enough to expose my breast to him. I guess he thought I had on a bra...but this dress is not made to wear one with it. He smiles up at me and grasps my breast. Then sweet kisses warm my body. I manage to handle it until he opens his mouth and decides to use his tongue again. I jump off of him.

"Please...stop...I can't do this."

He runs his hands through his hair and grunts. He doesn't have to tell me that he is pissed off; I can tell that he is by his body language.

"I'm sorry...please don't be mad."

"I'm not mad...dammit...I just want to be with you and it seems like no matter what I do you can't deal with it."

And there it is, out in the open. I told him from the get go that I had issues. What more does he want from me. My eyes feel with tears because I don't want to be this way. I want him to be able to touch me, to kiss me, to have him eventually...make love to me. I want that but I can't help when my freaking body says no.

He looks over at me and moves the few strands out of my face to look at me. I look away from him because he doesn't need to see my tears. "Hey...hey...look at me."

I shake my head and slide my dress back up covering my breast.

"Ophelia, look at me," he says again this time touching the bottom of my chin.

I slowly look over at him and he shakes his head in frustration. "Baby don't cry...this is all my fault. You are just not ready for this."

Not ready, ready for what? Kissing and hugging is one thing. Hell even touching and exploring each other is one thing but what is he saying. I'm not ready for this...for us...for sex...what am I not ready for.

"Not ready...what is it that you really want Kodiak?"

He looks away and I see a tad if disappointment in his eyes. "Just forget it...nothing."

"No...please...don't say it is nothing when it is clearly something. What do you want from me?"

He shakes his head no again and looks down.

"Tell me...what is it that you want? You want me...you want to make out with me is that what it is?" He doesn't say anything. "If that is all you want then maybe we shouldn't even be together. Just take me home."

"It's not want I want...I mean it is but we don't have to."

"Look...no really look at me." He slowly looks up at me. "I want to be able to experience those things I do. I want it to be special. Like really special you know. I want you to be able to touch me and to have nothing more than my body to accept each and every single touch. But my body wants to scream out in pain. My freaking skin....you set it on fire. I told you before don't linger in one area...my nerves are already yelling and screaming at you to stop and then...then...you just had to kiss me that way. I can't do it...I'm trying to I am...but it's just too much."

"I don't know what you want from me?"

"I want you to just hold me...give me all the kisses you want...dry kisses. Why do you have to use your tongue? I just can't..."

He reaches out and touches my hand. "You can't what?"

I shake my head at him, biting my bottom lip. "Maybe you are right...maybe I'm not ready for this kind of relationship." I go silent.

"I didn't mean it that way. It's just the guys. I watch them with their girlfriends all the time and they are practically begging them to do this stuff. I want to be able to be like that with you."

"I'm not like them. I will never be like one of those girls. If that is what you are into then maybe you need someone else."

"I want to be with you."

"Being with me...and being 'WITH' me is too different things." I open the door and get out of the car to get into the front seat. He jumps out and stops me.

"Dammit...Ophelia...please...I'm trying to here you know." He shuts the door and we are both standing out in the middle of nowhere.

"I like being with you...I do...but if you are just in this for sex...it's not going to happen...this...this...this will never work out."

"I don't know what got into me...please forgive me. I will wait as long as you need to. I just thought, I assumed you wanted this."

"I do want this...but this is too fast. You are pushing too fast. I need time. I need you to take this slow and...and...and if you can't wait then we can't be together."

He walks over for a second and takes a deep breath as if he is trying to figure out what to say or what to do about this whole situation. I want to know what he wants. Can he wait on me or is it too much to ask for. I knew this was too good to be true. My parents warned me that guys just want one thing. I thought for sure he was different, how could I miss that. I should have known that there was no such thing as a good guy...one that just wants you for you not your body. I should have known better. I should have never agreed to date him...going out with him. What the hell was I thinking? Forgot this.

I start walking off. The tears stream down my face. I can't breathe. I feel like I'm going to shatter into a million pieces. I hear him calling after me but I don't stop to look at him all I can think about is getting far away from him. I physically can feel my heart cracking...breaking into. Arms come around me and stop me in my tracks. He holds on to me with a tight grasp. I slowly turn into him and let him hold me as I cry. I have never felt so fragile.

"Where are you going?"

"Home...I want to go home now." Is what I tell him but that is a lie. I don't want to go home. I don't want my parents seeing me like this. I don't want him seeing me like this.

"Let me take you home please...you can't walk in the dark." I let him walk me back to his car. He opens the door for me and I get in. When he gets in he looks over at me. "I want to be with you...I will wait...hell we don't ever have to be that way. I mean I hope one day...but for now I will wait until you say so. I will never touch you again if that is what you want. I will wait for you to make the next move."

I don't say anything to him.

"Fine...if you want to end this we can do that too. I just want you to be happy. So you just tell me what you want and I will do it."

When I don't reply he starts the car up and drives me home. I am too focused on clearing my face up. I don't want my parents to be up waiting for me and see me looking liking this.

When he pulls up to the house he gets out and then comes around to open the door for me. "Will you at least think about it...I don't want to end whatever this is between us?"

"I want to be with you Kodiak. I want to be with you more than anything...I do...I just don't think you can wait on me to be ready."

"I said I will wait...I can wait." He tries to go in for a hug but backs away as if he is afraid to touch me. "Guess this is good night...Maybe I'll see you tomorrow."

"Good night." I lean in and wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him. He kisses me back but it's more of a peck. His arms touch my waist line but he doesn't grasp like he usually does. Why does it feel like what we had is gone?

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Author's Note: Please don't hate me....or Kodiak. He is a typical teen boy going though emotions of trying to figure out love. He just wants more than what she is able to give right now. But I have a feeling they will work it all out. If you are liking the story please vote....little star down there. If you love it share it.