Logan

Chill the fuck out Logan. You're acting like a weirdo. You're gonna scare Olivia off. Stop it.

Yeah that little pep talk only last two seconds. Glancing over at Olivia my stomach clenched. God she had no idea what she was doing to me. No clue how adorable she looked in her leggings and oversized sweater, her blonde hair in a messy ponytail a few pieces falling out around her face.

Olivia really has grown into herself. Somehow she's managed to get even more beautiful than I last saw her three years ago. She wasn't 17 anymore. Working at the bakery the last two weeks has opened my eyes to that. Gone was the shy teenager who blushed constantly, and in her place was a strong independent woman. It would be so much easier to pretend she was still a kid but it was getting harder and harder to do.

Thinking back to what happened on the freeway with the snow, it took everything I had not to pull her into my side. To reassure myself that she was okay. The look on her face would forever be seared into my mind. She looked so scared. It was right then I vowed to never let her feel like that again. Not while I was around.

I couldn't even begin to think about what happened at that bar a few days before. When I saw that guy all over her at first I told myself to let it go. Olivia can do whatever she wants with whoever she wants. It's not my place to do anything. But the moment I noticed she wasn't enjoying it I acted before thinking.

I should have done more to that pig but Olivia was standing there shaking. The last thing she needed was to see me beat the shit out of a guy. The wave of protectiveness I felt towards her was unlike anything I've ever felt before.

It had taken everything in me not to demand that she come and spend the night at my place. I didn't want her to be alone but the last thing she needed was me hovering. I let her go home but that didn't mean I did. I camped out in front of her apartment all night. I just needed to make sure she was okay. I ended up falling asleep and missed her leaving to the bakery which was why I was late.

"Oh there's a gift shop." Olivia's voice filtered through my thoughts.

"Want to go and look around?" Not like we didn't have time. We were going to be stuck here until tomorrow morning, maybe afternoon if the roads aren't cleared. With Christmas only a few days away I'm not confident they will be cleared fast.

The smile Olivia sent me almost made my knees buckle. That smile did more to me than she'll ever know. Never know how much I've been thinking about that damn smile the last two weeks. How every time I step into the bakery I look forward to seeing her.

I've tried to keep my hands to myself but my body had a mind of its own. Whenever she was around I felt like I had to be touching her. So I placed my hand on her lower back as we walked into the gift shop.

I kept my eyes on her as she moved around looking at everything. She looked beyond adorable as she grabbed things and looked them over. Her eyes lit up at the sight of a stuffed panda near the back. She was looking at the thing like she couldn't live without it.

"Are you going to get it?"

Olivia looked at it for another second before shaking her head.

"It's okay. Don't have room in my suitcase anyways." She acted like she wasn't secretly wanting it but her lingering eyes gave her away. When she turned away to look at something else I gave the stuffed panda another look.

"So tell me," Olivia said once I reached her side again. "did you ever have a thing?"

"A thing?" My lips twitched at her wording. "I'm pretty sure I have a thing."

"That's not what I meant, perv." Her elbow snapped out and hit my ribs. I barely felt it making me chuckle under my breath. "I meant as a kid did you have a certain thing you collected or wanted from gift shops from where you visited?"

I thought back to the few trips I took as a kid. We never took that many since we couldn't afford to go many places. Most of our 'trips' were getting an ice cream downtown and then going to the park.

"Not really."

"Not a single thing? Dude."

"Did you just 'dude' me?" I raised an eyebrow at her.

"Would you rather me 'bro' you?"

My body reacted before my mind could. I grabbed her elbow and pulled her to a stop. I stepped forward until our shoes were touching.

"Don't you even think about saying that. You hear me? I'm far from your bro." The way I thought about Olivia was nothing like a brother should think about his sister. If her real brother knew what I thought about on the daily he would keep me far away from his little sister.

Olivia didn't say anything as she just stared up at me. Her gorgeous green eyes were wide but I didn't miss the lust that filled them. She was breathing heavy as my eyes darted down to her lips. The urge to press my lips to hers grew by the second. Would they be as soft as I remember?

Her lips parted, further begging me to capture them with my own. Just one taste and then we can go back to just being friends. One simple kiss. The thought was so overpowering that I felt myself lean down to do just that.

I wasn't sure if I was relieved or pissed when a speaker suddenly blared through out the hotel. The sound making the two of us flinch. The realization of what I was about to do hitting me full force. Fuck.

I was just about to kiss my best friends sister. The guy who I've looked up to for years, who saved my ass more than once from being killed, who had enough faith in me to put me in charge of his new store. Was I seriously about to repay all that back by kissing Knox's sister? I'm the biggest asshole on the planet.

I quickly took a step back and put some distance between us. Olivia stood there flustered as the voice over the speaker started talking. What kind of hotel are we in?

We have been monitoring the weather outside and it seems the storm has once again picked up. For the safety of all our guests no one is permitted to leave until the storm as died down and the roads have been cleared. We advise if you have anything in your vehicles to get it now before the weather worsens. If you have any questions, concerns or need anything come see our front desk. Thank you.

The fact we were definitely going to be here all night just further drove home that nothing can happen between Olivia and I. No matter how much I want her, I can't have her.

"Guess we are stuck for the night." I said clearing my throat. The way Olivia was staring up at me was making my chest tighten. I needed to get away from her. Just for a moment to clear my head.

"How about I go get the rest of our luggage from the truck and you go back up to the room?" Lame excuse but I needed to get away before I did something really stupid.

"I...okay." I ignored the way she looked at me like she was peering into my head. The way Olivia looked at me always made me feel like you saw more of me than I wanted. Like I was somebody else.

"Here." I handed over the key to the room, her fingertips brushing across mine. "I'll be right back."

Like a Grade A idiot I left Olivia standing there staring after me as I headed to get the rest of our luggage. It took everything in me not to turn around and look at her.

All my life I've wanted things I can't have and I typically went for it. Not caring about the consequences in the slightest. I was even that way when I went into the Marine's, especially when it came to women.

The first couple of years I slept around. Never sticking to one girl. Sleeping with one and sneaking out before the sun was even up. It was easy to brush off someones feelings towards me because I had none for them. They were heartbroken I didn't take them out on a date, that's their fault for thinking I wanted more.

That's just how I did things. How I treated women. Slowly the same routine got old. Finding some random woman to sleep with, only to repeat the cycle again. By that time my missions overseas were becoming more intense. Knox leading our team into missions that could have gone very wrong. The things I had to do in order for my team to stay alive following me back to base.

I couldn't sleep half the time and the only way to help the nightmares was sex. Every night I would pick some chick up, fuck her until every thought left my head. Until I got back to my apartment and was alone again. My old self finding its way back.

When Knox got stabbed and left to take care of his sister after his parents died I wanted out. The things I had done to stay alive eating away at who I was. I had a year left before I could leave so I spent that time trying my hardest to forget.

When I got out and went to meet Knox he immediately knew I wasn't okay. Once again taking me under his wing and trying to help. Things have gotten better since I've been out and I haven't been with a women in god knows how long.

I may be a slightly better man now then I was, but that urge to make Olivia my own was something I couldn't do. She didn't deserve that. Didn't deserve to be with someone who hasn't had a long term relationship since high school. Someone who is too fucked up in the head for someone as amazing as Olivia. I would only end up breaking her heart.

That's what I told myself as I made the trek to the truck. Repeated those words over and over again as snow fell down on me as I grabbed Olivia and my suitcases, freezing my ass off as the wind picked up.

And I kept repeating those words as I made my way back to the gift shop in the hotel and bought the panda stuffed animal Olivia was eyeing earlier. 

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I really am going to need Logan to stop being so damn adorable. I know I wrote him but still! Every time I read back through these chapters as I post I fall more in love with him. Need me some Logan under my Christmas tree this year!