Request by: me :P

Characters and Pairings: Tenth Doctor/Masc!Reader

CW: internalized transphobia, unhealthy relationship

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The Doctor is a lonely man. And you thought that maybe you could fill that void. But you haven't, not as much as you'd like. Sometimes when he looks up at the stars and he thinks you're looking at the sky with him, his face falls. In those moments, you can see in his eyes that he feels small, and lost. The galaxy is infinite and he's just one time lord.

The Doctor loves you; you know he does, but you also know that you'd never be his first choice. He never mentions the ones who came before you, and he especially never mentions her.

Rose Tyler.

The Doctor has fallen in love thousands of times over his 900 years of life and he's lost every single one, but Rose was the one. You don't think he ever planned to live without her. If she didn't ... leave the way she did, you know he would have found a way. You see it in the notes scribbled in his journal about giving up his time lord shenanigans and not regenerating again, or finding a way to prolong her life. He thinks he's good at hiding things, but he's not.

And you know you shouldn't think this way because you'll spiral, but sometimes you wonder if he'd love you more if you weren't a man. Then you regret deciding on coming out. You're ashamed of your identity and maybe if you didn't tell him that you're trans he'd love you more because you'd still be a girl.

You could have been a girl just like Rose and Donna and Martha. You'd finally have something in common with them, other than the Doctor. If he cared more, you could stand the silent suffering of being something you're not.

He makes you ashamed to be trans and that hurts. He's supposed to love and support you, which he does, but the incomplete attention he gives you ruins what love he does gives you, and it leaves you wondering what you could do to make him love you more.

You give the Doctor your all, what more can you do. You're so tired, but he never slows down enough for you to catch up. You're stuck and you have no clue what to do.