The sweet twittering of two little birds whistled through the gaps in the Bounty's walls, making its way into Jay's sleepy ears.

After what he had been through, a pleasant sound to wake up to was the least the world could give him.

There were a few moments of blessed calm, where the blue ninja sat up, rubbed his eyes and yawned, stretching his arms after a deep and much-needed rest.

But then, the onset of panic came quickly, without warning.

The events of the previous day flashed across his mind like a faulty video, moving far to fast to comprehend but just slow enough to bring back every single stabbing memory.

Everybody knew.

Everybody on the Bounty knew that he was trans. Even Kai.

Even Nya.

Jay's electric blue eyes darted around, realising that his surroundings weren't the familiar set-up of his girlfriend's room - or even the Ninja's shared room - but rather the medical room. He was laying in the small bed there, and it had seemed that someone had already come to see him that morning.

There was a cup of tea and a note on the table next to the bed.

A charming blend of rooibos and vanilla made home in the mug, and the note simply read 'Zane x'.

Jay made a mental note to thank him when he next saw him, focusing very deliberately on other things so not to fall back into yet another exhausting panic attack.

The tea was only lukewarm. It had probably been laying there for a little white, but Jay downed the thing anyway. As a beverage, it was pleasant, but knowing that a friend had gone out of their way to do something nice for him was all the more delicious.

After that, Jay didn't really know what to do. He absolutely did not want to leave that room, because that meant he would walk straight into some very awkward interactions. They needed to happen, he knew that. He needed to tell his friends what he had kept from them for so long.

He just wanted to prolong it. Only a little bit longer.

Enough to calm his mind, and come to terms with the fact that there was no getting out of this.

Jay stretched his arms again, realising that he must have slept a bit funny when a far too familiar ache flared up in his left shoulder.

As if the pain of his binder wasn't enough already.

Rushing thoughts grazed his mind, trying to work their way into the vulnerable parts to cause havoc.

He didn't let them.

The time for panic was over. Now, he needed to stay calm, and controlled, and figure out how he was going to explain himself. Even those who supported him would still like a backstory, he was sure.

Simply just tell the story, he guessed. Why do anything else? The story was all they needed.

The... the basic story of course. They didn't need all the details, especially when he wasn't comfortable revealing a few.

Thinking...

Thinking...

Thinking...

Maybe it would be better to talk to each other individually, alone. Even though it would take longer, repeating the same story again and again, but it would eliminate a lot of possible anxiety around the subject. That plan would work with five sevenths of the Bounty's personnel.

Jay knew as a fact that he wouldn't be comfortable spending time alone with Kai, and with Nya... knowing that their relationship would most likely be ending would definitely send him over the edge again.

Right on cue, somebody knocked on the door to his temporary bedroom. It wasn't too loud and demanding. Loose knuckles and deliberate softness.

It wasn't Kai at any rate.

Jay simply didn't have the motivation to get to his feet, so he swallowed his nerves and spoke for the first time that day.

His mouth was dry - despite the tea - and his lips were cracked in a couple of places, but, he managed the words anyway.

"... you... y-you can come in."

There was a click, and then the obstacle opened, revealing the extremely worried face of Cole.

"... hey Jay... been awake long?"

"Not really... only fifteen minutes or so."

Cole closed the door behind him, and shuffled over to his bed, pulling out a chair from the desk on the other wall.

Jay avoided eye contact, staring down at the empty mug in his hands. He was swilling the last few drops around and around the bottom.

"Zane wanted to come and see you too, but he's gone out with Kai and Nya to town. He thought that it would be better for you to have a calmer environment... without those two."

"... why Nya?"

"... we all heard what she said a while ago. Zane... thought that her presence might upset you a bit."

Jay knew what he was referring too. He hardly hated Nya, in fact, he still loved her very dearly. But Zane had been right. She didn't date trans guys, meaning... she would now no longer want to date him.

"... I guess you're here for an explanation... right...?" He questioned. Cole shook his head.

"... I came here to give you an explanation, actually."

Oh...? How odd. Jay couldn't quite imagine what Cole would have to apologise for, or give reasons for. He listened anyway.

"... the... the reason everybody found out. It's my fault. I found your box... in one of the supply cupboards. I couldn't help myself... I looked in it, then... then Kai came along. I couldn't stop him."

He listened and sat still, feeling nothing more than a sense of understanding. Though... the way Cole was going, he seemed to be blaming it all on himself.

"... so... it's all me. Everything was because of me..." Cole locked eyes with his friend, "and I am so... so... so sorry..."

Jay couldn't pull his gaze away. Cole's hazelnut eyes had filled up with absolute guilt and regret, and it almost made Jay feel bad.

"... hey... it's fine."

"It's not fine... Jay everybody found out because of m-"

"They needed to find out someday, and, I don't think I would ever have had the courage. I should have picked a better hiding place. Looking back... that cupboard was really stupid... I'm just... afraid that... I'm afraid you'll all treat me differently."

Cole gave him a very slight smile and patted his arm.

"Not all of us are called Kai Smith. Some of us aren't a*shats."

Jay couldn't help but chuckle at that, placing his mug on the bedside table. The pottery met the wood, landing with a distinct clink... and tears started to form once more. Along with them came a rushing of emotions. Upset, anxiousness, fear, regret, worry... it could go on and on.

"... C... Cole... I'm sorry for keeping stuff from you... I should have told you that-"

"A-And I should have been a better friend!"

The pat on the arm turned into a supportive hand on the shoulder.

"... looking back, I really haven't been. Across the last few months. I don't think we've been taking you seriously enough... and we should've been."

"I don't blame you... I don't matter anyway..."

"Jay! You do matter! You... you're one of my best friends! Do... do you think being trans would change that?"

He shrugged, slowly curling into a ball.

"... I'm here for you... ok? I'm not very good with LGBT stuff but... I looked up some things this morning. I don't think I'll have any problems with pronouns because I've been calling you 'he' for as long as I've known you... and... and if I ever do anything that makes you feel bad or uncomfortable or anything you don't like, just... just tell me."

The lengths Cole had gone to to make him feel better within less than a day made the poor boy very emotional, and the tears that were building earlier burst their banks.

"W-Why are you being so nice to me...?! I don't deserve it!"

"What? Basic respect?"

Jay sniffed, wiping his eyes with his sleeve.

"You sound like Nya." he whispered. The self-mention of his soon-to-be-ex dragged tranquility even further from grasp.

"... you don't need to tell me anything, but... I don't know. I don't understand all this. I will support you though, and if Kai is a massive a*shole again I swear I'll punch him a new face."

Jay chuckled again, finding small pleasances dotted around his currently dark existence.

"... I will tell you about it all, if you want."

"Jay, you don't have to if you aren't comfortable-"

"I am. I'm happy to tell you. You need to know. Like... it's kinda unfair too. I know all about your childhood, but... you don't know mine."

"I think that having an enthusiastic singer for a father is slightly different to being trans. It's not as... you know."

"... anyway... uh... if you want to know, I'll tell you."

"... only if you're sure."

"I'm sure."

Jay grabbed a fistful of his sheets, squeezing hard to keep calm as he revealed his innermost secrets.

Deep breath. Calm stature.

Time to begin.

"... I always knew that I wasn't a girl."

Cole sat still, not wanting to miss a single word.

"... and from the moment I understood my body... I was begging... for it to be different."