⚠️EXTREME TRIGGER WARNINGS!!
-self harm, knives, blood, cutting, gore, all that jazz
-abusive relationships, domestic violence, ptsd, all kinds of stuff of that sort, physical violence
-mention of sexual abuse, violence and assault, not put into detail or written out in any way but talked about as a past event, no scenes written for those who might be triggered by or uncomfortable with direct scenes of it, but may be still wanting to read if only mentioned
-eating disorder, forced and self starvation
If you do not thing you will be triggered, and trust yourself to be humane towards these issues, then the authors note ends at the end of the bold. However, any inappropriate behaviour will he handled as though you read through all of it, and some things will be absolutely not tolerated.
I have not directly faced all of these issues, and most of my information came from what I know after watching my aunt go through a very abusive relationship. I will not tolerate any down talking of anyone who has been through these things. This is a safe space for people to read if they feel comfortable, and talk about their feelings. https://assaultcare.ca/services/sexual-assault-statistics/ this article states that statistics Canada has found that one in four girls and one in eight boys have been sexually abused by the time they reach 18, and that's just in Canada. Not only is this a very real thing for girls, but for boys also, and any gender based shaming on anyone who's faced these issues in my comments will be deleted and blocked if the issue persists. As someone who was an assault victim at the age of 12, and had many people I am close to having faced sexual abuse, this is a topic that is very real for me. I want people to be more aware of this, and the psychological affects it can have on someone. This idea popped into my head, and I figured it would be a good way to write a part 2 to something that I opened so much opportunity into, while raising awareness about this issue and giving slight angst to the people who look for it. As someone who has struggled with many things, I know that having it incorporated into a fanfic can be helpful, as it can make me feel understood, and not alone or alienated by past experiences. If your opinion opposes this, I respect that, however this oneshot is an option to read, and if you think it being here won't provide any help or validation, you can always skip past this part or stop reading my book. Many things are applied into fanfiction, and I have noticed that things like sexual assault are always steered away from, and I can understand why. However, I believe that all issues are real, and I know how much having a personal struggle in a random fanfic can help. I am not trying to normalize sexual assault, but I do want to normalize recognizing it, validating it, and treating it like the very real issue it is, and trying to help people who have faced it, rather than acting like it doesn't exist to avoid awkward social settings, judgement and conversation. When an issue is always seen as something people are either uncomfortable with or awkward around, it makes people feel very alone in their problems. I am always here to talk, and this comment section will be made a safe space. Any comments down talking or invalidating this issue, or shaming someone for having faced this issue will be deleted. I will probably write a part 3 to this, and if I do I promise to have more comfort from Chase, I just figured I would end this part at 5k words lol, if I still want to keep going after part 3 this might become it's own story. Sorry for the long intro, I'll let y'all read now.

B/n is boys name, I'd suggest making this an asshole name
B/f/n is best friends name, this character is male, and if you can't think of anything, I'd suggest a kinda gay sounding names(according to my LGBTQ+ friends that is a thing)

He walked up to you, pulling you up by the collar of your shirt. You cried, begging for him to stop. His mouth split into 4 sections, a tongue coming out of the middle. You screamed as the tongue shot towards you, a sharp pain hitting your neck

You screamed, jumping up in your bed. It was just a dream... just a dream. But... he was there, it felt so real.

"Y/n..? Are you ok?" A gentle yet monotone voice came from your doorway, the young man who was never out of uniform asked. Vibrant yellow eyes looked into yours, reminding you of who stood before you. He came over to you, sitting on the edge of your bed, and he placed a hand on your leg tenderly, quickly pulling it back when you flinched.

"This is the third time this week... you need to tell me what's wrong," he pleaded, concern lacing his voice.

"It... it's nothing. It wasn't real" you insisted, pulling your blanket over yourself more.

"How so? The last time you woke up from a nightmare you told me it was 'him', if it wasn't real, then how was there a specific 'him'?" He asked, you appreciated his concern, but darn why did he have to be so smart.

"Well... there was a specific person in the nightmare, but everything was super twisted from what really happened... it wasn't real, it wasn't what happened." You explained to him, or maybe to yourself, feeling silly for having such a trivial problem.

"Hmmm... are they always twisted versions of something traumatic that happened?" He asked, pieces clicking together in his head.

"Well... I wouldn't say traumatic, many people have been through way worse," you stated, feeling like your problems weren't bad enough to get this kind of attention.

"Hmm... that's a symptom of PTSD, you really shouldn't invalidate your traumas, you must have been through a lot to have those kinds of nightmares" he stated. As much as you love him, he really needs to work on his comforting skills. He's just sitting there telling you his opinion while you silently cry, guess it will never change for you, you'll never have anyone else truly be there for you, since he couldn't come home with you.

You coward in a corner of the room, why did you ever trust him? And now you're on the mainland with him, far away from family. You wanted to call your family, or run to your car and get to the fairy, but he had your phone and keys. You really should've listened to them, but that can't change now. They'll probably never see you again, as the heavy footsteps search for you. You cried as silently as you could, not wanting to be found, your vision fading into a sleepy black.

You woke up to a grip on your neck, releasing a scream you didn't know you had, you didn't know when you fell asleep. The knife dragged along your throat, you thought this was the end. Just when you closed your eyes, willing to accept death over this insufferable life, the door broke open, a tall muscular man stormed in, ripping your abuser away from you by his hair, as he did so you felt something rip away from you, but didn't properly register it. After beating him up, your friend turned to you, helping you up before tugging on something, looking down to see him pulling your shirt down. 'Fuck...' you thought, you really should've listen to all those people who warned you. He must've been in the process of it when you woke up, and this wasn't the first time he did that to you. You had to force the faded memories out as you hugged your friend, leaving the house.

You jumped as you snapped out of your thoughts, flinching away from the gentle touch on your shoulder, looking to see Chase with a confused look in his abnormally yellow eyes, his hand still in the air in front of you, unsure of what to do.

"Y/n... you are not ok, and it's not nothing. You are overly... jumpy, as you humans put it, I have never seen you like this. I think I should take you to Chief" he spoke, coming to a conclusion at the end, going to lift you up from your bed in order to take you there.

"N-no! I can't trouble him with it... it really is nothing, I'm just jumpy from the nightmare, really, I'm fine" you frantically explained, fidgeting with the cuff of the left sleeve of your pyjamas(right sleeve if you're left handed), which had long sleeves, prefect for fidgeting with instead of other fidgety habits like biting your nails, while serving another purpose.

"From the nightmare yes, because those nightmares are a result of PTSD, y/n this has been happening way too frequently, something is wrong. You need to talk to your Uncle about this, you need a solution. I have been activating my holoform at 2:30AM and coming upstairs because you've become so predictable. You also always wake up with a scream, it's a miracle your family doesn't wake up with you, you need help." He pleaded with you, concern filling his eyes overwhelmingly. You sighed.

"I... I can't. He already has enough on his plate, and with what time he isn't working, he needs to focus on raising Cody. I can handle this on my own. Besides, it all ended over a month and a half ago, I just need to get over it," you tried convincing him, or were you desperately trying to convince yourself?

"No, y/n. You cannot, you need help. Please, promise me you'll talk to your Uncle about this, or at least ask him if he has a solution to nightmares," he bargained, he needed you to get help.

"...fine. But I'm only asking him if he knows something to help with nightmares. And you won't tell him anything. Got that?" You asked, really not wanting your Uncle to know of your distress.

"Ok, I will settle for that. You should sleep now, please try to sleep well for the duration of the night" he requested, tucking you in and kissing your forehead.

You nodded and snuggled into your blanket before he turned to leave. Once he shut your door and his footsteps faded down the hall, you got up and locked your door before sitting on your bed. You pulled up your left(right if your left handed) sleeve, revealing countless scars thickly coating your arm, alongside several cuts in any stages of healing. Opening the drawer in your nightstand, you pull out a knife and hold it to your arm. You had to relieve these pent up emotions if you were going to at least get an hour of sleep tonight.

~~~

You unlocked your door, creaking it open, holding your bare pale s/c, purple and red arm close to yourself, but not touching your pyjama shirt as you quickly scurry to the bathroom. You got carried away, again, and you couldn't let the blood stain anything.

You reached the bathroom, locking yourself in and reaching for the now well used medical kit. Turning on the sink you soaked a washcloth before turning the sink off, wringing excess water out and dabbing the blood off, as putting your arm directly under the water stung like fuck, and using something like a tissue would rip out what was there for scabbing, making an overly extended cycle of wiping off blood. Once you cleaned enough off that it wouldn't stain anything or soak through, you opened up the medical kit, pulling out a non-stick tensor bandage roll. You then took out some polysporin and applied a light coat along the majority of the bandage roll, having learned from the past that, without it, the bandage roll would rip the scabs off, defeating the purpose. You followed your muscle memory absentmindedly, with your method of one wrap around the less severe cuts between the worse ones, while also coating the purple bruising where the blood couldn't escape the skin. You also made sure to wrap several times around the ones that you knew wouldn't stop bleeding for a while.

Once you finished and pinned the end of the bandage to a part of it you knew didn't hold a cut(essentially just a spot on the side of your forearm, as the front had no spots to fit such description) before pulling your sleeve back down, sighing at the blood stain around the cuff, taking a mental note to change your pyjama shirt before leaving your room in the morning. After cleaning everything up and putting stuff away to leave the room looking untouched, you took a minute to collect yourself before leaving for your room, the tear streaks on your face now becoming stiffer and itchy. You still felt nauseous from how hard you cried, having almost thrown up from it.(it's a real thing, only takes about 15-20 minutes of hard crying) Once you entered your room, you shut the door and climbed into bed, putting the knife away before wrapping yourself in your weighted blanket(they are AMAZING so you have one) and slowly drifting to sleep.

~~~

You woke up to activity outside your room, laying there for a half hour or so, just awake, before sitting up in bed. You peeled off your warm and cozy blanket, seeing the blood stains on your sleeve cuff from the night before, promptly taking your shirt off before you forget to do so, awful thoughts plaguing your mind at the sight of your bare chest, and grabbing a new pyjama shirt and putting it on before opening your door and leaving the room.

Walking into the kitchen, you smell pancakes, that your Uncle just finished cooking up. When he notices you you kinda smile awkwardly, not knowing what to do. Kade was right, this wasn't truly your family, and especially after you had been gone for so long, you didn't think you belonged.

"Y/n! Please, join us! I was just finishing the last round of pancakes, there is also maple bacon(sorry I'm Canadian I have to, it is absolutely delicious) and scrambled eggs," he said, inviting you to join in on his family breakfast. You took the chair between Dani and Cody in an attempt to feel less alienated at the table.

1 ½ pancakes, 1 scrambled egg and 2 pieces of bacon later, you felt stuffed. Chief seemed concerned with how you couldn't eat as much as you used to, his suspicions growing that something wasn't alright while you were gone with that boy.

B/n took your plate from you as you went to dish up the meal you made, putting a lot back, leaving about half of what you took of the first complement of the meal back, adding a fair bit of the salad, and handing it back to you.

"You don't need to eat that much, I don't want you ruining your physique" he stated with a wink, at the time you were flattered by his concern for your health.

As time went on, it gradually got worse, until you had to ask for permission to eat. You grew to find comfort in not eating, because it meant you were skinny. As you grew weaker and weaker, it was never enough for him.

Once b/f/n got you out of there after beating up b/n, he tried helping you to get better while you were staying with him, but it was very difficult. Your stomach had adjusted to the starvation, so it was a very slow and gradual recovery, with its ups and downs. B/f/n and his boyfriend did everything they could, and that's why you got to where you did.

Focusing back to the concerned gaze of your Uncle as you put away your plate, already finished, you passed him a sheepish smile as you set your plate down.

"Y/n, is there something you want to talk to me about?" Your Uncle asked while washing the dishes he dirtied while cooking. He side eyed you with a knowing look, as you had told him a small portion of what happened when you called to ask about coming to Griffin Rock.

"Hey Uncle Charlie..." you shyly greeted, having made next to no contact in over a year

"Y/n! Gosh it's good to hear from you, how have you been? What happened? I haven't heard from you in over a year, and Dani says you haven't talked to her in almost as long, we've been worried sick about you! Did b/n hurt you?!" He exclaimed with concern and gratitude

"Oh... yeah... a lot happened... I'm not with him anymore" a sign of relief came from the other end, reminding you of just how bad things were from the start "but he's been... harassing me, lately" you explained, carefully choosing your words "I don't think I'll be safe enough staying on the mainland anymore, he'll find out where I'm staying eventually."

"I understand. You are welcome to come back anytime, and if that's your situation, I would encourage you to do so, you will be safe here I assure you. We even have a surprise waiting for you," he explained, sympathy and kindness in his voice as always, bless his heart.

"Thanks Uncle, I should be ready to move back in about a week, could... I stay with you for a while? It might take me a bit to find a job over there..." you requested timidly, you felt bad for asking such things.

Why of course! You're always welcome to move back in, you're family!" He assured, and then you thanked him before saying goodbye.

After hanging up, b/f/n placed his arm across your shoulder, squeezing gently in a comforting side hug.

"It'll be good for you to go back home, you need some time to recover," He said, a soft smile on his face, "we'll make sure to call every week or so, to check in on ya."

"You're... not going to come with me?" You asked, looking over at him.

"I can't, I got my man to stay here with, and we both have jobs we can't just leave" he explained "but we'll make sure to visit sometime, probably sometime soon," he smiled

"Oh... right" you said, after b/n forced you to quit your dream job, you forgot that your friend didn't have the same thing.

"Oh... yeah, I guess" you said with a chuckle, "so... I've been having nightmares lately," you stated, looking over your shoulder to see that everyone else had already left, and your Uncle was finishing up the dishes. He had waited for you to come back on your own, being ever patient as always, "do... you know anything that could help?" You asked sheepishly.

"Oh, yes, Doc Green actually has an invention he made to help with that exact problem, you should head up there this afternoon if you would like to try it," he suggested, a kind smile on his face.

"Thanks Uncle Charlie," you responded, hugging him lightly, "I'll go do that right now," and with that you went to the fire pole and slid down.

Once when your head dropped below the kitchen floor to the top of the garage, you were met with Chase looking over to you, smiling softly once he saw your face. As you reached the floor, you started to head towards your bike.

"Where are you going, y/n?" Chase asked, taking a step towards you. You looked at him, smiling. You two have been keeping things on the down low since his confession, as you two hadn't made it official. You explained to him that you needed time to heal from what you went through in the Mainland before you could get into a relationship, and he was kind and patient about it.

"Oh, I'm heading up to Doc Green's, Uncle Charlie says he has an invention that's supposed to help," you explained with a shy smile.

"Wonderful, would you like me to accompany you?" He asked, and after a second of consideration, you figured it couldn't hurt.

"Sure," you stated, him transforming at your response and opening the door for you.

Once you got into the driver's seat and put on your seatbelt, he took off towards Doc's lab.

~~~

Once you got there and told you why you stopped by, he explained how the invention worked. The colour drained from your face slightly, not realizing it would show everyone what they were about. Looking over to Chase, you knew you couldn't just simply back out. You never thought you'd be grateful for getting so good at faking being asleep, you could just like down, pretend to sleep, and think of something really stupid.

You lay in bed, breathing slow and steady despite the panic that wanted to overwhelm you. If you were asleep, he might not hurt you tonight, he shouldn't have been drinking, so he should be able to process everything properly. As footsteps approached your shared room, you forced your body to fully fall limp.

You could hear him walking towards you, bending over you. His breath fanned across your shoulder, followed by a soft trail of kisses. You didn't like where you thought where this was going, especially when he pulled away so quickly.

"Hmm, sleep well my love, we can finish those chores together in the morning," he said, more to himself than to you, before crawling into his side of the bed. That was one of the best scenarios.

Bringing yourself back out of the memory, you climbed into the sleep chamber, hoping that you could fool the machine. After 'falling asleep' you began to think of a toast monster chasing you, hoping that it would be enough to get Doc off your case, and much less likely, but hopefully, Chase.

Waking up once your 'nightmare' was generated, you got off the uncomfortable slab and took a look at your mental creation, forcing a laugh at it and commenting on how silly it seemed now, thanking the Doc and asking him not to tell anyone as it was so embarrassing(which was obviously a cover story), you turned to leave, Chase following you. He transformed, letting you into his cab once again, this time locking the door when you got in, and driving off more slowly.

"Y/n, that isn't what your nightmares have been and you know it," he said, an irritated look on his face that made your heart sink into your stomach, you hated disappointed looks.

As b/n looked at you like you had killed his mother, you backed away from the spilled dinner plate. You didn't mean to drop it, you really didn't, you had just gotten so weak. He stepped towards you, and seconds later you bumped into a corner.

The memory cut itself off, and you didn't even want to know what happened to make you forget it so well. Looking at Chase's awaiting monitor, you sighed, trying to shake off the feeling you got from his judgemental and upset gaze.

"I- I know..." was all you could say, looking down at your lap as you fiddled with your sleeve. You couldn't cry, not in front of him, it had been too long for it all to suddenly be such a problem now.

"Then why did you lie? Lying is not ok," he reprimanded, a stern look on his face that only made things worse for you.

"Well... there's situations where it's ok, ok?! Not like you would ever understand!" You snapped at him, feeling bad for reacting so harshly, but you weren't ready to talk about it, and he didn't yet understand how to respond to the situation. Sometimes you wondered if he understood how to respect what you were going through and how you were going through it. Maybe this wasn't going to be as easy as you thought...

"Y/n! How... How could you say something to me like that?" He asked, confusion written on his face. You felt guilty, but it was better than the look on his face earlier, "I thought you returned my feelings, so tell me, why do you not treat me differently than most people? Why would you react like that if you have feelings for me? Lately you have been much more distant. Have I been simply led on?" He asked, hurt in his voice.

"What?! No! I promise you, that isn't it. It's just... everything I've been through, it's been plaguing my mind so much lately..." you explained, not wanting to tell him the truth as to why.

"Why is that? Why all of a sudden? Is it something I have done? Why does it make you treat me differently, like you don't have feelings for me anymore? I thought you were simply waiting until you make a full recovery?" He asked, sadness now very clear in his voice as he pulled over onto the side of the road. You tried to open the door and leave, but it was still locked, "answer me y/n. Why..?"

"Because..." you said, trailing off, not knowing how to respond to that.

"Because why?!" He asked, making you remember it like it was yesterday.

After b/f/n had gotten you out of b/n's house, he brought you to his. He had called the cops, but again, they refused to do anything about it. Why were police always so bad with domestic violence?? Before you could dwell on it, b/f/n's boyfriend walked in with a book in hand.

"B/f/n called me while you were asleep in his car and explained how he found you, so I figured I'd grab you this in case you needed it in the near future" he explained kindly, handing you a book on ptsd and sexual abuse. The reality of what happened before b/f/n burst into what you once called home starting to sink in, yet it wouldn't fully sink in for almost 2 months.

"Y/n! Answer me. Why can't you tell me your reason for pushing me away? Have you found another man?" He asked, making your blood almost boil, but not at his words, but at what you remembered, what the reality of the situation was, and how you figured he'd react.

"What? No... no I swear that's not it," you stated, a pleading look in your eyes. He made the feeling of being interrogated so much worse for you, it never used to feel so threatening.

"Then why y/n?" He pleaded with you.

Almost a month into your stay at the firehouse, you dug the book out of your bag. You really hoped you weren't suddenly starting to process everything, and you also really hoped that your symptoms related to merely you overreacting and you liked to put it, and that those things hadn't happened to you several times. But as you began to look at the list of symptoms the book talked about, the reality began to truly sink in for the first time, and soon after memories would start to be available to you, and you would have to process them.

"Y/n! Why?! We were so close! You said you thought you might be ready in the next few weeks, and then you pushed me away, and not long after you started having those nightmares. Did someone hurt you?" He begged, starting to put together a possible cause.

"No, Chase..." you said, sighing, you had to tell him, "it's... from when someone hurt me, up until 2 months ago. Back on the mainland... the guy I had been with for the past year and a half. He... hurt me in a very awful way, the police finally arrested him, according to b/f/n, but because it's been too long to examine the damage to prove what he did to me, I can't get a restraining order on him. That's... why I moved back, and the mental weight of what he did to me finally sank in, I hadn't even processed it hardly before... but now it's a huge part of my reality" you explained, hating to tell him this.

"What do you mean y/n? What did he do to you??" He asked, sympathy now shown in his optics.

~~~

After explaining everything to him, he had to let things sink in himself. B/n, an awful guy, did that to you, to his y/n. He had never thought he could feel so hostile towards a human. After dropping you off at the firehouse, he went for a drive, alone. He needed some time to think about this, about how it would affect the possibility of a relationship between you two, and how that relationship would go if he were to still try to be with you. He still didn't understand the concept, and now had to learn to show sympathy to it.

All he had told you after your explanation was that he was sorry for what happened, and that he didn't know how to feel about it. He then put himself in gear again, driving the rest of the way to a firehouse and dropping you off, not a single word coming from him the entire drive, before taking off again. You took this as rejection.

Dani came up to you, hugging you when she saw the look on your face. You immediately started to cry into her shoulder, telling her everything he did to you that you could remember after she took you to her room to talk. The look on her face showed how shocked she was by this, and she went to get your Uncle as he should know what happened, and what the situation was now.

After a talk with Dani and your Uncle, your Uncle assured you he would look into the case a lot more, and get a restraining order. In the meantime, they wanted you to quit the job you had found, since living in constant fear was not good for you. Your Uncle suggested joining the rescue team, as you did have first responders training, and you agreed, although you would be taking some time to recover first.

You looked around, and Giant Kade asked what you were looking for, telling you Chase hadn't returned when you explained to him 'what exactly you were doing in the bunker'. You thanked him for his help before taking the elevator upstairs. As you went to grab your helmet, you told your Uncle you were going for a drive, before going to the garage and starting up your bike, which had gotten quite the vacation as Chase liked to drive you around anywhere. Less fuel money for you, so you weren't complaining.

As you drove around town looking for Chase, you thought about how you were supposed to go about a potential relationship, career change, and mental recovery. You still hadn't fully processed what he had done, it felt so unreal. You just hoped that the truth of what had happened to you didn't scare him away, as you went to a private spot in the forest, where you knew he was likely to be.

Dismounting your bike, you walked into the forest towards the clearing you and Chase both loved so much. He shows no signs of having noticed your presence as you approached him from an angle behind him, but still letting you see what was in front of you. Tears welled in your eyes as you saw your book in his servos, along with a book on how to comfort people open in front of him, and a datapad with definitions on stuff.

As you took a few steps closer, a leaf crunched under your foot, making Chase jump slightly and turn towards you, you saw him stare directly into your eyes, practically seeing the gears turning in his helm before he reached out for you, offering you his servo, instead of directly reaching out to touch you.

You took a step closer and into his servo, leaning against the side of his palm as he wrapped his digits around you, before looking like he got an idea as he pulled his servo away, leaving you with a saddened look as he transformed into his vehicle form.

As you were about to turn to leave, his holoform stepped out of the driver's door, closing it before approaching you and opening his arms for a hug. Before you processed what you were doing, you were running into his arms, burying your tear filled face into his neck, letting everything out. You cried and cried, trying to tell him everything you felt as he rubbed soft circles into your back and played with your hair. Maybe this part wouldn't be as bad as you thought.

~~~time skip brought to you by nap time~~~

You woke up in Chase's holoforms arms, looking up at him to see all of his features. You took a few minutes to admire everything about him, thinking more about his kindness than his looks. You couldn't stop pondering on how cute he was with how he tried so hard, how he found a private place to study how to comfort you, probably not wanting to let the others know what you had told him.

Your daydream had to come to an end as he shifted slightly, looking down at you with a smile on his face, kissing your forehead.

"You received a call from your uncle, he was asking where you were. I informed him that you were with me, and he requested that you return to the firehouse when you woke up," he explained, picking you up bridal style as he stood up. You forgot how it felt to feel safe in someone's arms like this.

I think I got all of the flashbacks Italicized, when you copy and paste something into Wattpad it gets rid of any italics, bolds or underlines. And I write everything in Google docs after my last book was deleted. Please let me know if I missed any, I would really appreciate it. Again, this oneshot is not meant to bring any negativity to people who face these issues, if anything I want this to be a safe space to talk about things, and any negativity towards the people who have suffered through any of these things will NOT be tolerated, and that does not only go for sexual traumas, I have brought several issues into this, several of which I have faced myself, and I am always here to talk to about anything, my DMs and comments are open.