Requested by: raven121_u

Plot: Raven121 confesses to Sunstreaker about her feelings before she goes into a coma for 4 years.

Warnings: None
Vorns = years
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"WITHOUT SPOKEN WORDS"

Raven121 pushed open door to the tiny outback pub, frustration creeping her spine, it made her antsy and ready for battle for everyone that stood in her way. At least she got welcomed by the soft chatting of strangers and an overall nice sphere that soothed her frazzled nerves. The door fell shut behind her and she slowly made her way, pushing herself through the small crowd that had gathered near the bar. 'Excuse me...' two man stepped back, allowing her to reach the table in the back. Not just any table, it was 'her' table. Adjusting to a strange world hadn't been easy. Especially after being alone for so long. It was this certain pub, that she visited the day after she arrived with Sunstreaker. The mech himself hated humans too, but he still had taken the effort to make something of the situation and bring her here.

She soon figured that humans weren't that different from Cybertronians. A little bit more fleshy and weird, but their habits weren't that different. Raven121 seated and took off her wet coat, tossing it next to her on the brown leather that covered the bench seating.

Her eyes traveled around the pub before her eyes returned back to the table. Sunstreaker should be here any minute now. Usually, Sunstreaker is early, but he might have gotten himself in trouble with Ironhide again. Something that seemed to happen a lot lately. Even Sideswipe didn't seem to quite understand his brother's way of thinking from the last few weeks and neither could she wrap her head around it. All she got was a snarky reply about minding her own business. She wanted to respect his boundaries and leave him, but she couldn't help herself but try to make his life easier. Just as he was doing to her, unknowingly.

Het head perched up as the bell sounded from someone walking through the entry door. A man, but not Sunstreaker. Raven121 exhaled slowly and bit down on her lip before checking her phone. Sunstreaker should've been here already. He's usually the one waiting for her. She was nervous enough as it was. Today was the day she was going to tell Sunstreaker how she felt about him. It took her months to find the courage. When she had gathered enough courage Sunstreaker was whether in a horrible mood or on a mission. It seemed like an impossible task to tell him her feelings. She had set everything up for tonight and now, he's late. For the first time in his life.

She ran her hand through hair and stared at the candle centered in the middle. 'Hey...' she jolted up. Sunstreaker removed his leather jacket and unlike she had done, he folded nearly over the chair. 'A drink?' She nodded and opened her mouth but he spoke up already. 'I know what you want.' With that left in the open, he walked up to the bar. She watched him and cleared her throat, using the camera of her phone to see her reflection and make she was looking fine.

He returned a few minutes later with two beer. 'So, why did you drag my ass in here tonight? You know it's bro time,' he grumbled, his voice laced with a slight irritation. Several throughly crossed her mind and she felt her spark beat like crazy. He doesn't feel the same thing...

It was the same pessimistic phrase that kept popping up. She had been able to suppress him, but sitting in front of him, pulled away from his brother on this evening with horrible weather made the phrase return. 'Raven?' The irritation was clear. 'Uhm... yeah, I know. I honestly didn't think you would show up.' All he did was snort and look down at his drink. Raven121 ran her hand through her hair again. 'I'm sorry. I know you were supposed to be with your brother tonight.'

She met his gaze. 'Yeah, whatever. Are we getting to the point or are you going to keep avoid the topic you wanted to discuss with me.' She blinked and watched him sit back, his arm wrapped around the chair. 'What? You think I hadn't noticed you were trying to talk to me about something? Just spill the beans. What stupid thing did you do?' He mocked with cynical amusement. 'I didn't do anything stupid... at least, not yet...' she smiled sheepishly. 'Right... whatever it is, I'm not gonna participate... Ironhide is on my tailpipe. The fragger is...' she watched him ramble on and fiddled with the still untouched beer bottle in her hand.

'Raven...' she hummed and met his gaze again. 'Van we get to the point please? My alt-mode is getting wet, I'm tired and I want my brother...' he gestured with his hand. She was surprised he even offered her a drink considered how badly he wanted to leave. 'Okay, but you can't say anything until I finished, promise.' He rolled his icy blue eyes. 'Sure, whatever.' He took another sip. 'I'm actually trying to tell you this for months—' he cut her off. 'You've been screwing my brother?' Her eyes widened. 'W-what? No! No, Primus... no, I haven't interfaced with Sideswipe—' her face flushed. 'Good, because it would've made me very angry.'

She cleared her throat. 'It has nothing to do with Sideswipe in general,' she added. 'Good.' She saw some tension fall from his shoulders and his face softened. It encouraged her to move on. 'What I've been trying to tell you is that, uhm... you know... I had a whole different scenario in my head...' she trailed off. 'Raven, your point. Jeez, I don't bite, just say it!' He snapped.

'I love you!'

There was a tensed silence. Sunstreaker face didn't show any sign of emotion. 'Say something...' she whispered, but Sunstreaker didn't. 'Look, I've been trying to tell you this for some time, but I never found the right time. I need to know what you're thinking!' She hated the fact she almost sounded desperate. Sunstreaker slowly put his beer back down and straightened his back. 'I love you...' she repeated.  
'I don't—' he cut himself off. The emotions on his face changed quickly, as if he had trouble sorting out what he felt. It didn't surprise Raven121, psychopath's don't have much feelings after all. Bots declared her crazy after some figured out about her crush on the yellow ex-gladiator.

Although the setting is as romantic in her opinion, with the candle, dimmed lights, soft music and chatting in the background, and most importantly, the spot, but she started to doubt her choice. Maybe she should've asked him to come to a restaurant or something, but Sunstreaker wasn't the type of mech to be all cozy and cliche. He got up. 'Sunstreaker, say something. I need to know...' The mech shook his head before grabbing his jacket and storming out. 'Sunstreaker!' She jumped up to go after him, but the crowd blocked her view and way. Her eyes filled with tears as she slumped back down on the bench.

Tears were flowing down her cheeks. She felt like an absolute idiot for ruining her friendship with him. She snitched her jacket from the bench seating and got up, storming out. The rain poured down, soaking her completely before she was able to reach her alt-mode, a dark blue and black Audi Lacon. She hopped in and screamed, punching her steering wheel. It was a scream filled with frustration and sadness. She loved him. Why couldn't he just say something? It was the worst case scenario to have him storm out.

The powerful engine of the Audi Lacon roared back to life and she drove off, far above speed limits. She didn't care. Prowl can throw her in the brig, she wouldn't mind. At least she could think about her mistake and misery alone, locked up in a dark cell. It was not like she wanted to talk to Sunstreaker after all. She sped up. With a blurry vision, she neared a red traffic light and kicked on the brakes. She felt her tires slip through the puddles of water and despite her best effort to break in time, she slipped over the line, onto the intersection. The only thing she heard before slamming into the building, was the sound of a large truck's honking horn.

***

Het optics came back online and took a while to adjust to the bright lights of the medbay. A soft touch. The warm servo slowly coursed towards her helm. A yellow frame stood right next to her berth. 'Raven?' The voice so dangerous yet gentle was all to familie. 'Sunny?' She cleared her throat. 'You might me a husky for a while.' His voice was much closer to her audio than previously. 'How do you feel?' She felt his cool lips ghost over the smooth and delicate metal of her helmet. 'A little strange...' she admired before meeting his gaze.

The memories returned and she felt her spark beat pick up speed. It made some monitors next to her go off as a warning for a nearby nurse or medic. 'Hey, hey... calm down. You took quite a hit.' She lifted her helm. She remembered everything, but her frame looked fine. 'Ratchet has been working on your frame for a very long time...' Sunstreaker trailed off. 'Sunstreaker... I'm sorry, I didn't want to ruin our friendship—' tears filled her optics. 'No, no... it wasn't you. It was my fault, okay? I left because I freaked out... I couldn't handle the emotions that washed over me the moment you told me you loved me. I shouldn't have left... this was my fault.'

Sunstreaker pushed her aside and laid down beside her. Raven121's entire frame heated up and tensed. Sunstreaker reached for the monitor and switched it off. 'Don't make me regret turning that off,' he grumbled. He carried her faceplating. 'What happened the last few weeks I was out?' Sunstreaker snorted. 'Weeks? It took you four vorns to wake up. Ratchet didn't even know if you ever would wake up.' Her optics widened. 'What?! Four years? I was unconscious for four years?' She exclaimed.

Sunstreaker pulled her closer. 'You were and I've been on your side every single day. I didn't want to lose you... I blamed myself for everything. I caused the accident, I upset you.' Raven121 smiled wryly. 'It wasn't your fault... I drove above speed limit.' Sunstreaker laid his index digit on her derma's and lulled her. 'That's enough... no more words coming from you, got it?' Raven121 softly nodded. 'You're talking is annoying.' A chuckle escaped from her lips.
'It's time for you to listen to me... I'm not good with expressing my feelings, so I guess I can better show you...' he added before his derma's connected with hers. No words were needed to be exchanged to know for Raven121, that he felt the same way after all.