These absolute assholes

These idiots, these dickheads

I love them so much

They are so unnecessarily flirty yet mean for no reason

One moment talking sweet to you and the next making fun of you

They love calling you stuff like "princess" and "sweetspark" but also "worm" and "maggot", as if they love you but you're a blight on their existence

Starscream is like the big flirt of the group

Skywarp is the outward freak

Thundercracker is the more polite one but secretly freakier than both of them combined

They are the whore crew.

They are enamored by you

Please love them, kiss them, hug them, something

Maybe if you're nice enough to them they'll even frag you gently!

They all share an interest for you, always coming to mess or talk to you when you're off of your shift, and you're so done with their nonsense but have no choice but to get swarmed by Megatron's pets.

Starscream claims he's better than the other two, that you like him more than the others. Whether that's true or not, you don't show it. Skywarp tries to get closer to you, wrapping his arms around you and stuff, which annoys you but you don't say anything.

Thundercracker tries to hold a normal coversation while the other two are all over you physically. Lucky for him, he's stronger willed. He's totally not envisioning you under him when you smile at him or laugh at one of his jokes. Not that he'd ever admit it to you or the others.

They all have their own traumas and issues that they subtly or not so subtly put on you. They can't help it, you make them feel safe enough to tell you the shit Megatron puts them through. Starscream has even admitted he kind of fears Megatron and hates the constant abuse.

That's nice, I guess. You never asked for their fondness or friendship, but it's better than nothing on this blasted ship, right? At least they aren't trying to rip your insides out or some other freakishly horrible thing. They may be annoying, flirty, horny Decepticons, but at least they're nice. Kind of.