A/N - Well folks, we're finally here.... I'm a bit nervous about it, so I hope you like it ;)

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WARNING - MATURE AND EXPLICIT CONTENT AHEAD.  While there are some interesting non-adult paragraphs peppered throughout the chapter, if you don't like smut - and I consider this to be explicit (but hopefully tasteful) please skip this chapter.

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"Oh Ben..." she whispered, and literally threw herself into his arms and fastened her lips to his. He dragged her onto his lap and crushed her to him, a wave of profound relief sweeping through his very being.  She felt the same way.  He kissed her hungrily – probably too hard – but he couldn't help himself.

His mouth trailed across her jaw and down the curve of her neck.  He found what he thought was a particularly sweet spot – and sucked gently, which drew a loud moan from Rey, and a shudder from him.  His pants were already growing tight with his hardening member.  He felt it throb and ached for her to touch him there.  The thought made him shudder yet again.

He took a deep breath and inhaled her fresh, clean scent, thinking of all the things he wanted to do to her.  He wanted to make her wet with want for him, hear her cry out in pleasure, taste her everywhere....

His hands roamed wherever they could touch – softly stroking and squeezing as they moved; her hair, her shoulders, her sides, and her bare thighs.  He heard a quiet whimper when he touched the bare skin of her thighs.  When they began moving back up to her hips they were slowly easing the bottom of his borrowed tunic up too, his thumbs softly moving up the inside of her thighs toward her center.  He wondered if she was wet for him yet.....his shaft twitched at the thought.

Rey's kisses were just as impatient, her hands just as eager as they combed through his hair and roamed down over his shoulders and his chest, then wound back up to his neck.  She felt his lips on her neck and shivered, which was followed by a loud moan when she felt him begin to suck.

His hands brushed over her exposed thighs and she couldn't stop the soft sound that escaped the back of her throat.  There was so much heat flowing between the two of them tonight!   It began to sit low in her belly, and she felt herself grow damp between her legs.

Then, she felt Ben's hands sliding the material up her thighs, with his hand sliding closer to that part of her that no one had ever before touched.  She panicked and reached out to grab his wrist to stop his progress.  He immediately stopped and brought his hand up to stroke her hair.  "It's okay Rey, we don't have to do anything you don't want to do."

She brought her thumb up and stroked over his bottom lip, as she gazed softly into his eyes. How could she tell him that she didn't want to stop?  Her whole life almost up until now had been spent alone, with almost no human connection for anything other than survival.  As impossible as their relationship seemed, she had finally found someone whom she felt understood her like no other, and who was connected to her so deeply that she sometimes didn't know where her own feelings ended and where his began.

She wanted this.  She was just so overwhelmed by the newness of everything she was feeling and doing, and was embarrassed about the wetness he would find when he reached the apex of her thighs.  She was pretty sure he'd be able to feel it through her undergarment.

She pulled back from him, her hands stopping on his shoulders, and gazed at the face that had entranced her from the very first time she saw it.  His eyes were heavy lidded, his breathing heavy – almost panting.  She placed a hand on his cheek and looked deeply into his eyes.   "I'm just a little nervous.  This is all new to me, so I'm not sure what to expect, what to do."  She took a deep breath. "But I want this, Ben.  Want you.  Please make love to me, and let me make love to you?"

His eyes widened, and he inhaled sharply before he literally stopped breathing for a minute.  His hands around her waist clenched tighter and a massive shudder went through his body.  He leaned his forehead against hers and placed his hands on her cheeks.  "Are you sure?"

She smiled gently. "No.   But I've decided not to be afraid of what the future might hold."

He gave her a brilliant smile, kissed her forehead and stroked his hand over her hair.  "Atta girl."

He could hear the thought that flashed through her mind.  She loved it when he smiled like that – like he didn't have a care in the galaxy, and that nothing was more important than this moment. "Please don't be nervous or afraid."  He whispered.  "It's not like I have a lot of experience either, but so far we've been doing just fine."

Rey smiled back at him, then kissed him again and wound her arms tightly around his neck.  He stood up, swinging her around to hold her in his arms bridal style, and carried her to his quarters.  He laid her down on the bed, and took a step back to simply gaze at her.

If anyone would have told him a short 6 months ago that he'd be standing here, in his quarters, with a warm and willing woman in his bed, ready to make love to her – he would've scoffed at them.  And he never would have expected the woman to be Rey.  He had certainly desired her from the first – but he didn't identify the strong and strange pull that he felt to her as desire at the time.  He just knew that she was somehow his.  But given the fact that, with the exception of their connections on Ahch-To and the throne room, she had appeared to loathe him, there was nothing to indicate that they were going to end up here.  He had always just assumed that the Force intended her to be his padawan.

Watching her like this, his thoughts were a jumble, still amazed that they had reached this point. He couldn't believe that he himself had ended up here.   As Kylo Ren, he had always intended to procreate at some point in his life, to ensure that his dark power was passed on.  Snoke had even mentioned it once or twice.  So he had certainly expected to eventually engage in sexual relations with a woman.  She would have been a hand-picked female worthy of his offspring, and it would've been done solely to maintain his dark bloodline – not because of desire or lust for the woman.  It would've been an act to serve his purpose, and nothing more.

Looking down at the beautiful woman on the bed before him, he realized what a fool he had been.  For almost his entire life.  This is what mattered most.   Rey... their connection.   How she made him feel – what they felt for each other.  His heart stuttered.  His mind simply wouldn't go there.... He knew he didn't deserve her – wasn't worthy of her.  But he didn't care.  He was going to be selfish.   He needed her, as much as he needed air to breathe.

He wanted to bind her to him forever.  Yes, they were already connected through the bond, but that didn't mean they would spend their lives together – that she would choose to spend hers with him.  He wanted to enthrall her, please her so thoroughly that she would never think of, never consider another.  The thought of her with another – someone like the pilot - made him sick.  She was his.  He clenched his fists and took a deep breath.  He would figure this out.  He would make her love him, even if he could never truly love her back properly.

Rey began to get nervous by the length of time he just stood there looking down at her, and leaned up slightly on her elbows.  She was starting to worry that perhaps he'd changed his mind about doing this.   As usual, his face was impassive, but she could sense a number of emotions run through him through the bond - ...excitement...arrogance, foolishness, resignation, jealousy, fear, and finally determination?  And underneath it all was a quiet, strong thrum that eclipsed all of them.  She dared to hope that thrum was love...

"Take off your shirt."  She told him softly.

His eyes grew hungry again, and a small smirk appeared at the corner of his mouth.  "Ah yes, you like looking at my chest."  He teased.

She blushed.  "I do."

He growled as he pulled the shirt over his head and sat on the bed, facing her with his back against the wall.   Rey sat up onto her knees and scooted closer to him.  He reached out and took her hand, placing it on his bare chest.  "Touch me.... Please."

Rey's breath hitched.  She crawled even closer and put both hands on his chest, softly moving them downward.  She moved them back up again, running her fingers lightly through the sparse hairs on his chest, drawing a groan from him.

Leaning over, she kissed him softly, but open mouthed.  Her tongue brushed his and he groaned again, deepening the kiss.  His hands came around her to circle her waist, and began lightly stroking up and down her back.  They roamed lower and skimmed the bare backs of her thighs. Rey sighed.  She felt him slip his hands under the tunic and run them up over her bottom, and her sigh to turned into a moan.  He did this a few more times until she began to squirm.

She continued running her hands up and down over his chest and arms, gently raking with her nails.   His breathing seemed to change every time she skimmed over his abs and below his navel.   She let her hand drift lower to skim over his erection and was rewarded with a raw groan. His head fell back and he began to pant as she rubbed him gently.

She trailed her lips across his jaw.  She could feel the stubble on his cheek and rubbed her own cheek against it, before nipping his earlobe.  He moaned loudly again and she smiled against his neck.

He felt her smile against his neck at his reaction to her light bite on his ear.   He pushed her away and looked into her eyes.  "Vixen".  He purred, as he grabbed her hips and pulled her onto his lap so she straddled him.  She gasped when he thrust his hips against her core, never breaking her gaze.  He did it again, while at the same time his hands moved up higher under her tunic, circling her ribcage and brushing his thumbs over her hardened nipples.  At this, her eyes closed, her head tilted back, and she let out a keening sound.

Ben clenched his teeth and exhaled sharply through his nostrils to prevent himself from spending right then and there.  He slid his hand up behind her neck and pulled her to him forcefully, ravaging her mouth in a frantic kiss.   Their mouths were open, kissing deeply, carnally.  Ben grabbed the hem of her tunic and pulled it over her head, breaking the kiss briefly before swiftly returning his lips to hers.  He pulled her chest against his own and they both gasped at the feel of skin on skin.  Her hardened nipples brushed against his pecs and he couldn't ever remember anything ever feeling so damn good.  His hands ran up and down her back – her skin so soft and warm beneath his fingers.

He broke the kiss and looked at her dazed expression briefly before dropping his gaze to her breasts.  He pushed her back gently and leaned over to place his mouth on her chest.  He laved at her taut nipple while he felt Rey's fingers tangle in his hair, her nails dragging over his scalp as she whimpered.  All the while, he kept up his gentle thrusts against her core, before moving to the next breast and continuing to lick, suck and gently bite at it.

The sounds she was making became more rhythmic in nature, and they were driving him wild with pure, unadulterated lust.   He looked up at her before moving her backward to lay her down on the bed.  She was panting, making little mewling sounds that he decided he wanted to hear for the rest of his life.  He gazed upon her – now nude except for her panties, and drew in a shuddering breath.  She was simply beautiful – perfection to him.  He leaned over and kissed her lips, then began moving them lower along her collarbone, down to her chest, where he gave her breasts some more attention, and then kissed lower down to her abdomen, making his way over to her hip and lower to her thigh.  He bent her leg slightly and kissed her inner thigh, moving higher.  He could feel Rey begin to tense, and felt a feeling of confusion reach him through the bond.

He let go of her leg and moved his hands to the waistband of her panties, looking up at her silently, asking for permission.   He could see her shudder, and swallow deeply before nodding.

As he gently removed her panties, Rey clenched her legs together tightly.  Her eyes were wide and fearful.  He ran his hands up her legs.   "You can put them back on if you want."

She took a deep breath and leaned back up to him – running her hand over his hair before kissing him. "No.  No."

He opened the bond fully, and looked at her with all that he felt for her in his eyes.   "Rey....."

Her breath hitched as she was overwhelmed by everything that he was feeling.  It was flowing through her, and it was beautiful.  She took his hand and placed it on her breast and kissed him again – deeply and passionately.  She ran her hands over his chest again, and lower to his abdomen.  He really did have a beautiful body.   Yes, it was covered in scars, but she only saw the beauty when she looked at him.   Her hands reached the waistband of his trousers and she looked up at him.  He nodded, but first took her hand and moved it lower, covering his hard length once again.  She saw his eyes drift closed.

Rey had never imagined what a man's aroused member would feel like, or looked like.  Right now, it felt like a wide length of iron, and it was radiating heat.  She gingerly moved her hand along his length and his lips parted as he let out a strangled groan.  Suddenly, she felt feminine power.  She pressed slightly harder and moved her hand again.  His breathing became more audible – panting through parted lips.  She became bolder, moving faster, up and down over the entire length, which caused his moans to become louder.  Rey could feel herself getting even more excited, and her center began to tingle and throb every time he moaned.   She kissed him again, and moved her hands up to undo his trousers.

He opened his eyes, and got off the bed.  His eyes never left hers as he pulled down his pants.   His erection was standing tall and proud against his underwear, and Rey could feel her eyes drawn downward to stare at it.  She leaned over, and ran her hand over it again.   She could feel more of him through his undergarment.  She didn't know about these things, but it felt really large to her hand.  Her gaze flicked up to his eyes again, and saw the slightest satisfied smirk on his face.  She blushed, realizing that he must have heard her thought.  Wanting to put them back on even ground, she reached up to his waistband and removed his undergarment.

It was a bit too much for her, literally staring her in the face.  Her moment of bravery gone, she moved herself back on the bed, leaning back onto her elbows.

Kylo crawled onto the bed and hovered over her.  He had seen the brief flash of fear in her eyes as his shaft was revealed.  He did not want her to fear this, as it was mostly due to fear of the unknown.   He stared into her eyes and took her hand, moving it down, placing it on his erection. His voice was deep and husky when he murmured.  "There is nothing for you to fear.  I'm just a man."

He heard her exhale a shaky breath, and felt her hand begin to move softly on him.  He closed his eyes as the pleasure of her touch washed over him.  When he felt her hand fully wrap around his shaft he hissed and then let out a deep groan as she stroked up and down.  Her lips found his again and she kissed him wildly.  His head began to cloud with pleasure.   It felt so good!  He couldn't take much though, or this would be over before it really began.  He stopped her and peeled her hand away, breaking the kiss.  She looked at him with luminous eyes, waiting for whatever was next.  He definitely had a few plans in mind...

He gave her a quick, soft kiss, and began kissing his way down her body.  He took his time, and she was breathing hard and moaning by the time he finished worshipping her breasts and continued his downward movement.  Once again, when he got to her flat, toned abdomen, she began to get skittish, leaning up on her elbows, and tugging on his hair to get him to stop moving southward.

He looked up at her and his eyes bored into her with a burning intensity.  "Do you trust me?".

Her wide eyes stared back at him, and she gulped before nodding quickly.  He planted a kiss just below her navel, and then another just above the thatch of silken hairs at the apex of her thighs before moving himself lower.  His hands slid down her thighs and parted her legs.

He started at her knee, and began placing kisses along her inner thigh, moving upward.  He alternated between kisses, licks and light nips.  He could hear her breathing stutter each time he did.  He was close enough to smell the musk of her heat, and a wave of pure lust shot through him.  His mouth watered unexpectedly, and he shuddered.

He reached out his hand, and gently touched her womanhood.  She flinched at first, startled, and then her head fell back and thrashed on the pillow.  He continued stroking softly, exploring her folds, finding her heat and wetness.  Familiarizing himself with the sounds she made when he touched different spots.   Sounds that were becoming increasingly loud as he continued.  He gently inserted a finger into her sheath and felt her back arch up off the bed.  Feeling her wetness, he huffed out a sharp gasp, and he shuddered as his member twitched.  "Gods, Rey. You're so wet for me."  He moaned huskily.

Her moans got even louder, as he began slowly moving his finger in and out of her.  But none as loud as when he leaned forward and kissed her womanly folds, followed by a gentle lick across her slit.  Her hips lifted off the bed and a raw cry escaped from her throat.

He could see her grasping the bed sheets in her tightly clenched fists, as her head thrashed back and forth.   He smiled, relieved that she was allowing this, and enjoying it so much.  He continued stroking her with his tongue, losing himself in her pleasure, her scent.   When she began to move her hips against his mouth, it was like a dam inside him burst.  His member throbbed, and he buried his face further into her folds, sucking gently at the little bud beneath her hood.  He drew his hand up and again gently inserted a finger into her core, drawing out a different, longer, and much louder low moan of pleasure from her.  His breath shuddered out of his lungs.  He knew he couldn't keep this up much longer – her obvious pleasure driving him to the brink.  He was literally shaking with the need to be inside her.  Ben inserted another finger, and returned his mouth to the little bud that seemed to be the focal point of her pleasure.

Suddenly, her hips began to buck wildly, as she called out his name over and over.  He could feel her clench around his fingers, which were now drenched in wetness.  Ben watched her climax in awe – pride bursting through him along with his lust.  He had done that to her, given her that consuming pleasure.  He inhaled deeply, and shuddered, placing a last kiss on her inner thigh before moving up her body.  He paused to wipe his face and lips on the sheets, before moving over her and gazing deeply into her eyes.  A broad smile cracked his face before he leaned down and kissed her passionately.

She smiled back at Ben shyly, and was still breathless when she said.  "That was...that was....". Ben's grin got even bigger, and she smiled up at him with a small chuckle.   "Proud of your yourself?"  She asked quietly, running her hands up his chest, and winding her arms around his neck, threading her fingers through the hair at his nape.

He leaned over and kissed her again, before saying huskily.  "Immensely."

He looked down at her again, his gaze hungry.  Rey sucked in her breath, feeling her core heat and start to tingle once more.  She placed her hand on his cheek, and kissed him softly, but hungrily – her tongue dancing with his, her teeth nipping at his bottom lip.  She could hear his breathing become heavy again, his gaze heavy lidded, lips parted.  His groin was nestled between her legs and she could feel the hard length of him poking at her entrance.

"Rey.....I'll try not to hurt you."  Her eyes widened, and she pulled him closer for a frantic kiss, her heart nearly beating out of her chest.  Heat blossomed between them again, and she wrapped her arms around him, running her hands over his broad back, and buttocks, scoring with her nails as she went.  She felt his whole body go rigid, and his breath huffed out.

"Ngh... Rey...I need... need to be inside you."  He drawled out – eyes squeezed tightly shut, as if in pain.

"Yes Ben.  Please.  Now."

She could feel him reach down and position himself right against her cleft, moving the tip over her slit and bathing it in her moisture.  It felt good.  Her eyes softened, and lips parted, as he gently began to slide himself into her.

She was wonderfully tight, soft and warm and unbelievably wet around him.   He was panting, and had to hold back from losing control and just thrusting into her forcefully.  He watched her eyes carefully.  They still looked soft, her lips still parted.  He clenched his teeth as he felt her barrier.  He continued to push against it, and she stiffened.  He pulled back a bit, stroked her cheek and kissed her once more before sliding in again, gritting his teeth to go slow.  He felt the barrier again, and this time she whimpered when he pushed against it.  His eyes were tortured as he looked back at her.

"Just do it."  She whispered.  "It'll be okay".

He nodded, pulled out again, took a deep breath and thrust sharply.   He felt a pop, and she yelped, going completely rigid – but he was buried to the hilt - deeply inside her.  She was breathing deeply now, eyes glassy, nails digging into his shoulders, trying to overcome the pain. Then she laughed, as tears began falling.  "Gods, I've been struck, punched, shot with a blaster and stabbed with a lightsaber – all much more painful.  Why the hell am I crying over this??!!"

He leaned his forehead against hers, trying to ignore how good it felt to be inside of her.  He brought his hand up to gently stroke her cheek and lips with his thumb, and entwined the fingers of his other hand in hers.  Gazing deeply into her eyes, he said,  "Because this is different."  His voice was deep and husky.  His gaze possessive.  "It only happens once.  It's important, and intimate, and you've given it to me.  You chose me – chose us."  He brought his other hand to her face and kissed her with all the passion and love he had in his fractured soul.

She felt like her heart was going to burst.   His frantic kiss ignited a spark in her once again, and heat flowed through her.  She could feel his hardness filling her, and though it hurt at first, the pain was slowly being replaced by tingling, sinful warmth, which made her want to devour him. Tearing her lips from his, she looked up into his eyes, which were staring deeply into hers.  The intensity of his words combined with the heat of his kiss and in his gaze caused her breath to hitch, and made her shiver with want.   Leaning up to nip his bottom lip, she kissed him back just as fiercely, grasping his head in her hands just as he held hers.  She moved her hips gingerly and Ben gasped at the sensation.  "Rey, stop."

She kissed him again, and murmured huskily.  "I don't think it hurts as much anymore....".

He groaned helplessly as her whispered words decimated the last of his control.  He pulled out and thrust in slowly, watching her carefully.  She didn't appear to be in pain.  He did it again and heard a soft gasp of pleasure.  Groaning again, he began thrusting in and out slowly, trying to find a rhythm. He could feel her soften underneath him, and began thrusting a little faster and harder.  His breathing became harsh, and he couldn't stop the small sounds he made with each thrust.

The Force was alive around them, humming in tune with their bodies - surrounding them, each one's signature wrapping around the other's, merging together in perfect harmony.  The heat between them was building, and she was starting to make soft little cries each time their hips connected.  His thrusts became even harder as it became more and more difficult for him to maintain some control.

Her back arched and her neck bent back on the pillow.    "Oh.... Ben...."  She moaned long and loud.  At this, his face went slack and every thought left his head.  He began pounding into her furiously, a whimpering groan escaping his throat with each thrust.  Rey moved her hips frantically with his, scoring his back with her nails, her breath coming out in an almost continuous whining moan.

He wrapped his arm around her and lifted her up to smash his lips against hers.  She wound her arm around his neck, and the fingers of her other hand found his and grasped it tightly.  Her leg wrapped around his hip to pull him even closer, as he continued to thrust into her, faster and harder still.  He could feel the moans in her throat building, until she broke the kiss and let out a keening cry, and he felt her clench around his member as she found her release for a second time that night.

Completely out of control now, the sight, sound, and feeling of her climax sent him over the edge too, as a powerful, shuddering release roared through him, shouting her name as he came.

**

They were both still shaking a few minutes later, both trying to calm their ragged breathing. Neither could stop touching the other.  Their hands still clasped, arms still holding the other close.   Rey kept leaning up and kissing him softly – his lips, his jaw, his nose.   Ben was staring at her, returning her soft kisses, marveling at the experience they'd just shared.

Was it like that for everybody?   Somehow he didn't think so.  They had been connected in a way they never had been before, and not only physically.  If felt deeper somehow.  Almost as if he could feel her pleasure through the bond too.   Maybe that was why it had seemed so - intense? He shook his head – what did he know? – he had been just as much of a virgin as Rey.

He shuddered.  She had given him her virginity.  He never ever would've thought that that would be important to him, and yet it was.  She was his – and only his.

The sheer fact that she was able to protect it – that it wasn't taken from her in all of those harsh, lonely years on Jakku made him thank the Maker.  It wouldn't have mattered to him if she wasn't a virgin – he wouldn't feel any differently about her – it just seemed even more special because of it.

He sighed.  He really should move.  He was probably crushing her.

He tried to roll over, but she tightened her hold on him.  "Aren't I too heavy?"

She just shook her head frantically.   It was then he noticed the sheen of moisture in her eyes, the tears that threatened to spill.  "Rey, what's wrong?  Oh Gods, did I hurt you?"

She shook her head again and tried to speak – but was having trouble finding her voice.  "Ben...."  She took a breath and tried again .  "That was..."  Her voice broke.

He tightened his hold on her and kissed her again. "I know....".

At this, she seemed to find her voice. "No!  You don't know!  I've been completely alone my whole life!  No family, nobody to talk to, nobody to rely on, nobody to connect with!!"  She gulped, trying to hold back the torrent of tears that were now flowing.  "That was the most overwhelmingly beautiful experience of my entire life!  I felt more connected to you than ever before – not only physically – but in your mind, and through the Force.  It was like I could feel a part of me, a piece that was missing, snap into place!  Like we really were one!  And now... I feel....I feel....complete.  Whole."

As she said the words, he recognized that that was the feeling he was trying to describe.  He felt the same.  Felt that connection – that puzzle piece falling into place.  He too felt whole.

His eyes glassed over too, emotion threatening to overwhelm him as he leaned down to her, his voice starting to break too.  "Don't be afraid, Sweetheart.  I feel it too."  Then he kissed her with everything he had inside of him.

*****

They lay in bed softly talking for a few hours afterward, continuing to touch, stroke and kiss each other the whole time.  Eventually they both drifted off to sleep, still holding each other.