For this month, let me tell you something about friends and their role in your life.

This topic has two parts:
A) 'Knowing your friends' and
B) 'Worth of a friend'

And I will start at the first one.
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Friends, in general, had done a very long time of its duty history-wise. They have helped the visionaries and the leaders to shape up the future. They were there to witness the success and the dawn of your life.

That one person that always think of your safety, the one that always there to help you to rise from disgrace and the one that is always there at good and bad parts of your lifelong campaign here on earth.

Friends became agents, they became the bridges that connected you to other persons. They became your personal "cheerleader" when you are down.

They became your haven when misfortune came knocking at your doorstep and you don't have the power to stop it.

-★-

"If you lose someone so big that nothing can replace it... Then it's okay if you have more than one, right? Even if the number is small, whether it's ten, or a hundred, if you gather them up, then you'll have a reason to go on! Even if you get hooked on something or if you smile from heart... no one can blame you. And if there is such a person, I will knock them down!"

- Futaba Yoshioka from "Ao Haru Ride"

-★-

Crack heads, conservatives or even your average Joes at the block, whatever their names may be- whatever their life's status- you need them. They are your friends.

But how can we measure friendship?

Was it bound by...

>the length of time you know each other?

>the good and bad times you've shared together?

>the benefits we get from them?

>the social status in the society?

How can we ensure they are the real deal?

When can we say that they are indeed the ones we need to keep and not the ones to be left out?

Furthermore to the topic, the word "friend/s" does not simply limited to mention a person. It can also be an animal, a country, a group of people, a whole community, an inanimate object.

Virtually and insanely speaking, anything you could imagine can be a friend - even nature itself!

A companion does not simply standing there just for you to say that you have a friend, you also need to know him\ her\ it very well.

So, how can we tell how valuable a friend is?

Here, I can tell some things in order to know that question sitting pretty above.

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01) A friend will never put you in serious danger.

Okay, I get the essence that we need to have fun with them at some point of our lives. We need some exciting and exhilarating adventures like trekking, camping, travel out of the country. Or have some pastimes that will make our bloodstreams up and burning such as racing, jumping down a waterfall or rope swinging in the canopies.

At our current age, the time of discovering and experimenting new things, it is normal to have some danger in the things we do just for the sake of adrenaline.

But, a real friend knows when she\ he calls for a 'wait card'. A real friend will tell you to stop or even not try at all a certain thing because it is not worth a risk. He or she will not push you off to be put to harm or be killed.

I have watched a certain news where a female cliff jumper was found dead after her parachute fails to open, killing her instantly on impact after jumping at the height of ten thousand feet.

Her friend was there and she knows that the weather was bad at that day, the wind is blowing really strong, but her friend didn't stopped her from jumping.

When the police interviewed the friend, when in that time had lost her sanity, she said that she didn't stopped her from jumping because she said that it is her birthday and she wanted to jump off. She wanted to stop her but she just stood there in silence because she does not want to ruin her day.

Okay, the point here is, it does not matter whether you'll be bothered or mad because your friend derailed your fun. The one thing that is clear here is, he\ she was stopping you to do it because they care for you!

02) A friend knows his\ her limitations and boundaries.

To be a good friend, both of you needs to clear out something called 'limitations'. Both of you needs to know your area of influence to each other.

Having you or your friend respect each others' own space is good. It does not mean that because you are friends, you are free to do anything at his or her space without permission. It does not also mean you own what he\ she have. Unless, you tell that he\ she can, your friend needs to respect your space.

There are two main things involved in this issue: ownership and decision making.

Both of this two aspects are the most fragile of all because we are not aware of this until the problems becomes too huge to handle.

Having limitations does not quite ruin your friendship status and you cannot disregard this for the sake of fun.

We may be living in a very liberated way but keep in mind that we have our own logical thinking; we know what is right from wrong, we know better than ABC's people.

You cannot use your friend's property without getting permission.

You can't sneak off on your friend's personal stuff.

And the most important of all, you cannot dictate your friend constantly, he or she has a brain old enough to decide on his or her own.

You can only interfere (cross the line) at your boundary when you know that your friend needs some serious help.

03) A friend will be your greatest superhero in times of hardships.

Whatever the circumstances may be, a real friend will come at your distress. Your friend will come to help you up when you're down.

-★-

"Who is the friend of the exile?" the Yaksha said.

"A companion on the way."

-lines from "The Hundred Questions", an except from the Mahabharata

-★-

In our everyday lives, problems and challenges may appear without a warning. In a flash, your fine day could turn into a rainy day when jinx comes at your way.

A true friend will always give time for you to comfort you and help you ease your anxieties. He or she has no excuse not to see you or to ignore your call.

A great friend will always be there at your side whether the odds are against him\ her. Your friend will defend you and put you away from sadness. He\ she will not be afraid of anything just to protect you away from negativity.

-★-

"When the stars fall into darkness, I will quietly shine for you. During happy times, during sad times; I will always be there for you. Your hand, your smile, your everything. For as many years to come, I shall watch from the place closest to you. My existence will become your daytime shooting star."

- a quote from "Hirunaka no Ryuusei"

-★-

A real friend is truly your real-life superhero, next to family.

04) A friend is there to build you up, and not bring you down.

It is pretty straight to the point, wasn't it?

But seriously, friend's sugarcoating won't help in building you. Instead, it'll destroy you in an unprecedented pace.

Having a caring friend is a blessing, it makes our daily struggle with life a little easier.

But the true blessing of having them was the experience, the aspect of self-growth both mental and spiritual.

-★-

"No, you're wrong, Takahashi... It's because you were there that I was able to come this far. Because you were somewhere... beneath the same sky as me. Even when we were apart, I could never forget... I was always wishing you were happy. That's all that's been keeping me together. You're the one... who made me strong."

- Motoharu Yano from "Bokura Ga Ita"

-★-

We may all individually growing up inside the four corners of the classroom and at the stretch of our lifetime, but the most important growth we need to learn can be found to them.

And maybe you ask me: what was it?

Trust is the answer to that.

Because without it, all else fails. Without trusting another person, you won't be able to face the world. You'll die lonely inside your shell. You'll become ignorant in many parts of your existence. And you will have the most miserable time of your life.

Trust is essential to our being in order to grow and be wise towards life. Having great friends beside you will improve your life on all spokes of the wheel.

Also, trust is one of the most important keys to unlock more of the things we need in life including:

>Love
>Work
>Identity
>Existence
>Life itself
>Family
>Peace of Mind

05) A friend's benefit and worth is mutual; not material.

Its disturbing to know that some humans are only befriending a person because of money, popularity, status or trendy.

I am aware that different persons has different reasons, but the goal of having a friend just to have a material benefit is still wrong.

Yeah, having a rich friend could benefit you financially.

Having a famous friend will make you shine in the spotlight.

Having a friend with a higher status will also make you feel high.

And having a trendy friend will make you in on the group....

....all of the material benefits could be yours because of it but at the end of the day, backfires will eventually come at your backyard to reclaim what you have gained from leeching.

The effect of being a leech more than a real friend is not limited to you, but the devastation will also reach to your victim. It can make your victim depressed and be prone to danger since the victim assumed that you're his\ her real friend.

Note: Don't even try to do leeching to somebody. Have conscience and breeding, people!

Actually, the benefits you could get from being a real friend is more than just a being a leech.

-★-

"I know it at the first place.. but what is the value of money if it can't make you laugh; can't make you accompanied at good and bad times; can't talk 'bout problems and experience and the most important of all, it can't drink with 'ya. So, screw the cost of the renovations if I am making it for my buddy, my drinking buddy."

- Cul from "How to be a Star"

-★-

Your benefit when you're a real friend is lifelong; being a leech only benefits you temporarily.

So, the moral lesson here is:
"Don't be a leech. Leave the sucking to the real leeches."

06) A friend is not possessive nor passive.

One of the qualities needed in order to have a good friendship status is being not a possessive type or in general terms let your friend be friends with other persons.

At some rare instances, this condition leads to paranoia, insanity and violent behavior.

Being possessive to your friend may take its toll and will result in leaving you out to dry alone in the desert. Your friend will grow suffocated by your actions and eventually make you both go on separate ways.

We must mind that they are human too, they are like you: have needs, has its own thinking, has its own life. And you as a friend thou shall not make them as puppets. You need to let your friend venture on other planes. Let him or her know somebody besides you.

On the flip side, we may not be possessive on our friends but we may sometimes getting passive, or in lazy man's book: it means we don't argue or you are becoming a dummy following him\ her around without hesitation, mindset and just saying. 'yes' to everything whether its sometimes dangerous.

This demeanors of being passive or possessive may never be removed unto us but it can be reduced or even prevented to make your bonds as strong as it could get. It can also enhance the understanding between the two of you.

07) A friend will treat you just like or more than a sibling or part of his\ her family.

When times get tough, and no one is in sight to ease your difficulties, we sometimes think to approach our friends to talk about things, we used to get favors from then to help you on something. They are the closest person you could count on this world.

You may notice, when your friend wants to have lunch with you, what is their question to you? What do they say?

---
"Do you like some?"

"Here, take some from mine. Trust me, its delicious!"

"Hey, do you have your lunch?"

"(Name), let's have lunch together. Don't worry, my treat!"
---

You see up there, these lines are close to the ones our friends say to us! It shows that they wanted you there at that particular time of their lives. They want it to share to someone dear to them! And that is the point why they wanted you, a stranger by blood, to be there: they will treat you like you are his or her sibling. That is the beauty of human connections; this is the greatest gift we could give to our friends: the feeling of being loved.

True friends treasure you dearly into their hearts, so do the same for them. Make them feel great about themselves, make yourself feel rewarded by giving your friend love and care just like a real sibling.

08) A friend accepts your flaws and/ or imperfections.

No matter how bad you looked like, no matter how hideous your face is and no matter what race you are from, a true friend looks at your inner self and not on the things they see from the outside.

-★-

"The real luxury can be felt not by the hand... but by the heart.

The true beauty lies deep within the soul, and not lies above the skin."

-Secasen

-★-

A perfect friend is imperfect. No matter how they judge you because of your physical or social or even mental problems, a real friend don't see it as a hindrance, but he\ she sees it as a blessing because your friend knows that she or he is reckoned with a person whose heart is as pristine as precious gems. Your friend is only the one who sees your true beauty- and that is all that matters.

09) A friend don't betrays you in exchange of something, no matter what.

Like stated above, trust is needed in a friendship to actually work and you and your friends job is to keep it real and committed. You can't say good things when your friend is around then say negatives about him or her to somebody else when she leaves.

I mean, if you see a problem, talk it with your friend, not to someone else who does not know him well. Same for secrets, do not spill it just for the sake of fun. Even if it is not that of a big deal, still you need to keep a promise and the trust in tact, you need to shush you mouth about his or her secrets.

Note: there is one more but because of conflict of interest at my side, I don't want to post it..

==== Part Two ====

Why friends are important?

Medically speaking, having friends with you while you are growing up helps our brains to function well and at its highest potential.

When we feel good about our friends, the brain release chemicals that boosts our body's clockwork and enhances our thinking capacity. The good vibes we get from then reduces the chance of us getting our hair strands turn white, (gray for blondes), or in general terms get ourselves in premature aging.

Also the benefit of having a good friends also prolongs our life by several years than those persons who don't have friends or does not have a good friends.

Research shows that happy persons do age slowly than the ones that get stressed out and it extends our lifespan in a great way. also, being happy with them reduces the chance of being sick.

So, the value of having a friend is not just limited in our spiritual and social aspects, but it contributes to most of it.

Facing the world with a good companion you value will take you a long way towards life ahead.

Friending someone knows no color, knows no boundaries and knows no language.

As long as the connection, caring and the mutual understanding is there, friendship is possible.

A new link is possible...