"Hey guys, I'm home!" I yelled as I stepped over the threshold into the home that I once saw as my own. Walking through the door now felt strange, like a baby coming home for the first time or a newly wed couple entering their home together. When I didn't hear a reply I felt a rush of nausea swoop over my body. It seemed as though my worst fear was true. My parents hated me so much that they wouldn't even acknowledge my presence in our home.

I drew a shaky, deep breath and forced myself to walk further into the entry way. "Mom? Dad?" I forced myself to say, "Is anyone home?"

 Still no answer. 

As I rounded the corner into the kitchen, I saw the note sitting on the counter. I felt my whole body tremble and had to grab the counter to stabilize myself. I worked my way around the counter and sat in one of the bar style chairs. I grabbed the note off the counter with way to shaky of hands and braced myself to read the worst. On the verge of tears I began to read the letter aloud.

"Hey....son? You were right, we are both very much in shock. We accept you and will love you no matter what. We went to dinner so we could discuss this and figure out how we can best help you. We hope you aren't  upset that we aren't home. We love you," I read as the tears rolled off my chin falling silently onto the paper. The next words felt like both a punch to the chest and a warm embrace. My had written Sammy, crossed it out and wrote Lucas below it.

I noticed that my body had stopped shaking and I felt as though I could truly breathe for the first time in months. My family accepted me. I stood up and got myself a small glass of wine and a sandwich. For the first time in a long time I was eating because I wanted to. But more importantly, I was drinking for the taste of the sweet wine rather than for the strong buzz I had been getting from the vodka I kept hidden in the drawer next to my desk. I walked towards and grabbed a bag of chips on the way. As I sat down on my bed my dog, Aphrodite, jumped up and joined me. 

"Don't you love that Mommy and Daddy let us have a glass of wine whenever we want baby girl?" I said a giggled. The sound of my own giggle caught me off guard, I had been a long time since I was coherently sober and happy at the same time. "Tonight went better than I could have ever imagined." I sat there, sipping on the glass of smooth White Zinfandel, and ate almost an entire bag of Sour Cream and Cheddar Ruffles, while I watched Bones. At some point, two episodes in, I must have fallen asleep, my parents still not home. 

I wasn't asleep long before I was awaken by the soft sound of a feminine knock, the one I recognized as my mother's. I sat up and spoke softly as I rubbed my eyes awake, "Yeah, come in," I finished as my door slowly opened. I glanced over to see my parents standing there; my father's face set in a loving but stern smile; my mother looking on the verge of tears. I quickly got up and hurried to them. As I reached them I was embraced in a large hug.

"We love you," I heard my mom choke out.

"No matter what, Son," added my dad.

It wasn't until the hug broke that I noticed I had been crying. Why had I been so afraid to tell them? Of course they still loved me. They are are my parents and I am their child. No matter what.

"We know you need to do this soon," my father began to say, snapping my out of my endless mind babble, "that's why me and you are going shopping tomorrow."

"And I will call the therapist tomorrow and make you an appointment, if you're sure you want to go," added my mom.

"Yes, I'm sure I want to go," I said as I wiped my eyes,  "Thank you for understanding and taking this so well. It really does mean the world to me."

"And you mean the world to us," my mom said in the way I had heard her say so many times in my childhood. "We will always love you," she said before she paused and then added, "Lucas."

I don't think I have ever smiled bigger than I did in that moment. To be called Lucas, face to face, by my own mother was the validation I had been looking for during the last 17 years of my life. I gently kissed my mother on the cheek and hugged them both. "I love you guys and I am beyond happy to have your acceptance. I'm gonna head to bed though, Okay?"

"Okay, goodnight Honey," my mother said as she quickly hugged me.

"Night Son," my father said while giving me a strong, friendly, pat on my back. The two of them turned around and walked back out of my room, closing the door behind them. I was left standing there in the entry of my room. I noticed that my heart was beating double time and I was shaking. Both my mind and body were in shock over what had just happened. I slowly managed to turn around and take the few steps I had to in order to reach my bed. I slowly turned back around and sat down. 

I have never felt more energized, or exhausted than I did in that moment. My heart felt alive, exhilarated, yet my body felt as though the pull of gravity had doubled. I laid down and took deep breaths as I tried to slow my heartbeat. At some point I was successful. The last time I remember looking at the clock before drifting to sleep it read 12:52 am in the bright blue digital numbering. I slept, truly slept, for the first time in almost 2 years. My body, my mind, and my thoughts, were at peace. It felt as though I may never awaken.