"kaylee..."

a meek and quiet voice broke through the heavy silence of the palace at the dead of night. it seemed the whole palace had fallen into the lull of dreams. the castle that buzzed and teemed with life during the day seemed to have simply stopped. all was silent. it seemed only two princesses were stirring, breaking the harmonious trance of their household.

"hmmmphtmp...?" a groggy sound of sleep came muffled out of the lips of princess kaylee. the young girl sat up to see her twin peeking through the doorway to her room. kaylee has just been woken from a dead sleep, but she was quickly getting her wits about her once again. the girl was quite a sight in the middle of the night. with a look of sleep in her eyes and a mess of curls all over her head, kaylee was completely in her natural and vulnerable habitat.

"i can't sleep..." the twin in the doorway said hesitantly. she hovered near the door, feet bare and eyes full of innocence. the girl was trying to decipher what sort of mood she had awoken her sister into. she always feared that her twin would send her away at times like these, but her doubts and fears were ill place. kaylee would never send her other half away.

"come here," kaylee mumbled quietly, gently patting the bed beside her. it was unnecessary for the princess to scoot over and make more room for her sister when the bed was already big enough to comfortably fit five princesses, but kaylee still made even more room for her twin. pearl scurried over to her and hopped in the bed. with the blankets covering them both, the sisters laid side by side and stared up at the ceiling. the plain white above them was only a canvas for their imagination to paint constellations on as the gazed upwards with dreamy eyes. their heartbeats seemed to sync into perfect rhythm together. the moment was sacred and silent. each girl respected it, and the only to be heard was the sound of breaths escaping and rushing in.

"where is she tonight?" pearl asked.

kaylee paused for a moment. she saw a star shoot across the ceiling of constellations before she whispered her answer back. "rome."

"why rome?" pearl questioned with only reverence and curiosity for the question. she didn't deny the truth of the imagination, she only wanted more and more.

"the place evokes strong emotions from her. it forces out deep thoughts. it's art just like her."

pearl sighed softly as she heard her sister's answer. the young princess took a moment to paint the picture. a young woman alone in a city of history and culture. her thoughts fly up to the heavens and the angels ponder on them. "is she happy?"

kaylee gazed over at her twin before even considering the answer to her question. "her feelings are bitter sweet, but i don't think she regrets anything. i guess that's life. it's a give and take. it's good and bad. it's choices that define us. if you don't accept them, you can't possibly be happy. she realizes that. she knows."

"you make everything sound so beautiful," pearl said, letting a bit of sadness and longing creep into her voice.

"tragedies always are. life always is." kaylee responded, her hushed voice tickling the air around them.

the night seemed to pause. the night sky outside listened in to the conversation of two princesses. the wind halted in its track to peer into the life of two girls. two women who had no clue what they were doing. the sweet smell of the gardens outside flooded in and surrounded the girls so it could hear every detail of the conversation. the whole world stopped and stared.

"is she thinking of us?" pearl asked the question that always took all her courage. she knew kaylee's answer. this conversation had happened between the twins before. and before. and before. and before. the answers were always the same. it was a lovely fairytale.

"sometimes she isn't. she'll go through a day, traveling from one place to another. she leaves traces of her everywhere. a lipstick stain on a coffee cup. a splash of paint on the ground of a studio. an echo of a laugh bouncing through the walls of a building. and she won't be thinking of us. but sometimes she will. she'll be lying in bed, just like we are and she can't sleep. something deep in her gut is prodding her to stay awake. it's meant to be that it's a night for her to think. she thinks deeply. her thoughts drift to us, two little babies that she left on a doorstep, too ashamed at the time to even go inside. she'll feel something. she'll try to name the emotion. she'll assume that it might be guilt or longing. she thinks about that as the night sky twinkles, but something won't sit right. maybe once she felt guilt. maybe every once in a while she'll feel longing. she'll long to go back in time and make things work. keep us. but that isn't what this is. she knows the deep feeling in her gut isn't any of that. she knows what it is, but she can't name it. it's a feeling so deep it doesn't have a name or definition. it's just raw feeling. it's the basis of human connection. it's the feeling of destiny and fate playing its course. it's like a color you can't even imagine. it's a feeling that boils up inside of her and overwhelms her. she doesn't know what to do with this new color of emotion, so she just feels and feels. lying there, staring at the ceiling. she thinks of us. she thinks of us so strongly. she thinks. she feels. she breathes emotion. the only comfort from the storm of feeling is that she knows she has two daughters out there in the world feeling the exact same thing."

the world started again after kaylee's monologue to pearl. the speech unpaused the cosmos. the night sky came back to life full force. the twinkle of the stars shines brighter than ever before, powered on by the undefined color of emotion. the sweet angeles wind breathed again, gasping in and out as it tried to comprehend the love that accompanied it as it filled the room. the smell of the roses in the garden all the sudden overwhelmed the place. it was a force to be known. the world was brighter and more colorful than ever.

the twins didn't even know where to go from there. neither one could speak just yet. a single tear slid down pearl's cheek as she thought over all the words kaylee had said that she'd never forget.

kaylee was stuck beside her sister. she longed for her words to be true. part of her ached as she imagined a world where this moment wasn't a lie. a guilty pleasure of two girls who would never get past the curiosity of why they were left. the truth of the matter was, no matter how lucky they got by the parents who chose them, part of them would always wonder and always be hurt by the origins of their story. kaylee hated that she and her sister played pretend. they loved a mother who was never there. they romanticized an irresponsible woman who left them out in the cold.

"i love our moms." pearl whispered. whenever they talked like this, each girl was overwhelmed by an increasing amount of guilt.

"our family is everything. while our love for our fantasy mom is pretty and it's fun to romanticize it using indescribable terms. our family is real. our family is solid. our family is warm. our family is actually ours, and we are not hers," kaylee said, returning to reality.

"i love you, kaylee."

"love you too, pearl."