TRAINING WHEELS

SLUGHORN'S PARTY

20th December 1996

For the past few nights, Amora had been having nightmares of Draco being caught and exposed as a Death Eater. Every morning she would wake and feel anxiety over the situation, which seemed to increase and increase each time, much to her dismay. Her dreams were filled with Draco being sent to Azkaban or, worse, killed, and her family and old friends shunning her away when they found out that she had something to do with it.

However, last night was the worst dream yet. Nobody found out that Draco was working for Voldemort, rather, he had actually managed to win the war on his side. It was Harry that was killed, right in front of her, and then Voldemort (or she assumed this was Voldemort, she had never seen him in person), thanked her for keeping quiet and aiding his cause. And then she joined them.

When she woke up that morning, Amora was so disturbed that she ended up throwing up in the bathroom. Her stomach felt queasy all day and she nearly thought of cancelling on Blaise, but at lunch he had given her some flowers as a 'thank you' present, and she swallowed her words and zipped her mouth shut. It was just a dream, anyway. The queasiness wore off into the afternoon and she was mostly able to forget about Voldemort's nails digging into her arms as he hugged her, or the way he hissed her name and smiled in a way that was definitely not human.

Amora smoothed down the skirt of her dress, in awe of herself as she stared in the mirror. When Kathy had offered to let her borrow it for Slughorn's Christmas party, Amora had been a little reluctant, but now that she was wearing it... Amora was pretty sure that the last time she had felt this beautiful was on the night of the Yule Ball.

It reminded her of her Yule Ball dress quite a bit - the way it was decorated in stars. However, rather than a peachy colour like before, this dress was a yellow-gold colour, nearly cream, and the skirt ended mid thigh. It had a sweetheart neckline that would have been sleeveless, if not for the mesh that extended to her wrists and her neck, loose and also covered in the silver stars.

"It's not too flashy for a Christmas party, is it?" Amora asked Kathy worriedly as she finished pinning her long hair up into a bun, pulling out curls to frame her face. "I don't want to be overdressed."

"Well, I was talking to Hermione and she mentioned how she's taking McLaggen to the Christmas party in spite of Ron and she's wearing something really nice too," Kathy rambled as she put her earrings on in the mirror beside Amora. "Which, by the way, Lavender and Ron? I mean... I always thought Lavender would like someone a bit more..."

Amora shrugged. "I know what you mean. I had no idea about them, though."

"Oh, they're terrible, Amora." Kathy shook her head. "Snogging everywhere they can. The other day, I thought Lavender was going to swallow him whole. Though I suppose Leon and I weren't much better, were we? Oh gosh, I feel so bad for you now. Not that Leon matters anymore. I'm excited to see Pansy tonight. Has she mentioned anything about it? Did she say that she was excited or nervous? Or -"

"Kath!" Amora placed her hand on the blonde's shoulder. "Calm down. You've been rambling all night. Pansy said she's a bit nervous too, but don't tell her I told you that, okay? Just take a few deep breaths and remember that Pansy asked you on this date. She wants to see you."

Kathy nodded and chewed her bottom lip anxiously. "I just feel bad. I sort of ignored her for a while because I was really freaked out over everything and now I feel like I have to give her the best date of her life or something to make up for it. What if she realises I wasn't worth the hassle?"

"Well, if it helps, Pansy's never been on a date before," Amora told her. "And she's really stuck on you. I'm sure that it's going to go fine, Kath. And if it doesn't... It's not the end of the world. You either try again or you move on."

Kathy took a deep breath and then nodded again. "Okay. Okay," she sounded like she was trying to convince herself before she glanced at the clock and then dove forward to hug Amora. "It's three minutes until eight. You should start heading over to meet Blaise."

Amora sent a sceptical look to Kathy. "Aren't you meeting Pansy at eight?"

Kathy gulped, her eyes widening when Amora's hand shot out to grab her wrist and tug her towards the door.

"Come on, you're coming with me."

D.M + A.B

Amora was glad to find that she was neither overdressed or underdressed as she stepped into Slughorn's office, which was actually far bigger than it looked on the outside. She suspected magic had been used to charm it this way, for it almost looked like they were in some sort of fancy gazebo, drapes hung everywhere and music playing softly in the background.

"Mr Zabini, what a pleasure! So glad you could make it," Amora heard the over enthusiastic cheer of their Potions teacher and glanced to where Slughorn was heading towards them. "Oh, and I see you have brought Miss Buckley along. How nice!"

Amora realised Blaise wasn't even looking at Slughorn and rather around the short man, most likely trying to catch sight of Luna. The brunette offered Slughorn a small smile instead, squeezing Blaise from where their arms were linked.

"It's so nice to be here, Professor Slughorn," Amora spoke for the both of them.

"Yes, yes. Well do help yourselves to whatever food and drink is going around. I'm afraid I must go and greet other guests...." Slughorn gasped as he looked behind them. "Oh, Harry, my boy!"

Blaise and Amora both turned, Blaise's eyes narrowing on Harry as Slughorn quickly went to shake Harry's hand with both of his. Luna smiled from beside Harry, dressed in a spangled silver dress with... radish earrings? Amora raised her brows but didn't say anything, tugging Blaise over to where the drinks were.

She grabbed a glass for herself and handed one to him. "They're just friends," Amora hissed at him for the millionth time. "Trust me, if you look away from them for more than two seconds, you won't suddenly find Harry pinning her up against the wall and snogging her or something."

Blaise shuddered at the imagery but accepted the glass from her hands. He took a long gulp of his drink.

"Sorry," he muttered before he began to look around properly, his face grimacing. "What are we supposed to do? Interact with a bunch of Slughorn's old friends? I've never read any of their books."

"Me either," Amora admitted.

"You and Theo are always reading," Blaise said.

"Yeah, well I'm reading the fictional stuff," Amora muttered, "I don't read autobiographies or... or academic works."

"Oh, great," Blaise muttered, taking another sip as he eyed all of the guests. "What do we do now?"

Amora's eyes flickered over to the food table. "Eat?"

"Why not, Buckley. Why not..."

There was only so much time you could spend around a table of food before you began to get bored of the small pickings and people began to eye you weirdly. Amora fiddled with the sleeve of her dress, looking as bored as can be beside Blaise, who was just watching Luna and Harry interact with a drunk Professor Trelawney.

As soon as Harry drifted towards Hermione, Blaise dove in. Amora groaned and rolled her eyes, watching her friend approach Luna and place a hand on her back. She couldn't hear what he was saying, but she was sure Blaise was asking for Luna to be excused from Trelawney as he began to pull Luna to the side of the room.

Amora huffed, wondering why on earth she had agreed to coming to this thing when she could be spending her last time with Draco before they parted for three weeks. She chewed on her bottom lip, wondering how he was getting on with the vanishing cabinet. It's where he said he would be tonight.

She turned her back to grab another drink before somebody tapped her shoulder. Amora turned to face Cormac McLaggen, a Gryffindor in the year above her. He gave her a charming smile.

"Amora, is it?" Cormac didn't give her a chance to respond. "Have you by any chance seen Hermione around here? I seem to have lost her."

Amora nearly told him that she had just seen Hermione with Harry, only she then thought that there was most likely a reason Cormac had 'lost' her.

"Er, no, sorry," Amora replied, taking a long sip of her drink as she watched him walk away, over to where Harry was.

It was barely a minute later when Luna and Blaise wandered over, Luna's hand linked with his. Amora raised her brows at the two of them, watching Luna give her the sweetest smile as she did a small bob on the spot before stopping.

"I think we're going to leave the party, Amora," Blaise said, "I just wanted to let you know so you're not standing around like a loner."

Amora gave him a small scowl. "You mean like I have been doing for the past ten minutes?"

Blaise merely shrugged.

"I love your dress, Amora," Luna cut in, reaching forward to pull gently at the loose mesh sleeve. "It's very pretty. You seem to have a thing for dresses with stars."

"All a coincidence, Luna," Amora replied, "But thank you. I like your..." Amora scanned Luna over. "Your necklace. It's very cool."

Luna grinned, reaching to touch it. "Thank you. They are real Butterbeer corks, you know. I collected them myself on my last Hogsmeade trip. It took ages to rinse the smell from them."

"I'm sure," Amora said, about to suggest that they leave when the entrance door opened so harshly it banged on the other side.

Heads turned to face where Filch was dragging a student in by the scruff of their blazer. Only, it wasn't just any student - it was Draco. Amora and Blaise exchanged concerned glances as Filch pulled him, much to Draco's obvious dismay.

"Get your hands off of me, you filthy squib!" Draco spat, nose scrunched in distaste.

Everybody was staring as Slughorn moved closer to them. Draco must have been caught returning from the Room of Requirement since he hadn't been there when Amora had met Blaise to head to the party.

"Professor Slughorn, sir," Filch exclaimed proudly, "I just discovered this boy lurking in an upstairs corridor. He claims to have been invited to your party."

"Okay, okay, I was gatecrashing," Draco said angrily. "Happy?"

"No, I'm not," Filch answered, though he looked extremely happy to have caught a student out of bed after hours. "You're in trouble, you are! Didn't the Headmaster say that night-time prowling's out, unless you've got permission, didn't he, eh?"

"That's all right, Argus, that's all right," Slughorn waved his hands about as he moved forward. "It's Christmas. It's not a crime to want to come to a party. Just this once, we'll forget any punishment; you may stay, Draco."

Filch looked extremely disappointed and slightly outraged, moving away as Draco forced a fake smile and began to try and thank Slughorn. Amora knew her boyfriend well enough to know what a kiss arse he was being.

"It's nothing, nothing," Slughorn replied, "I did know your grandfather, after all..."

"He always spoke very highly of you, sir," Draco said quickly, "Said you were the best potion-maker he'd ever known."

"I'd like a word with you, Draco," Snape suddenly cut in, his deep voice nearly making Amora jump. She hadn't been aware that he had been looming in the shadows.

"Oh, now, Severus," Slughorn sighed, "It's Christmas. Don't be too hard on -"

"I'm his Head of House, and I shall decide how hard, or otherwise, to be," Snape cut him off. "Follow me, Draco."

Draco suddenly looked irritated. "Certainly, professor," he seethed.

Amora swallowed as Professor Slughorn tried to get the party rising again, the music starting back up. Blaise was murmuring something in Luna's ear, but Amora was staring in the spot Draco had disappeared in, concerned. Blaise reached out and placed a hand on Amora's shoulder.

"Go after him," Blaise whispered, "He's probably just going to get a slap on the wrist from Snape and then be in a pissy mood for the rest of the night."

Amora nodded and he squeezed her shoulder before letting her go. Downing the rest of her drink with one tilt of the glass, Amora placed it down on the nearest table and then wiped the back of her lips with her hand. Before she could properly head off though, Blaise grabbed her again. Amora turned, frowning in confusion.

"Yes?"

"If I don't see you before you have to leave in the morning then have a good Christmas, Amora," Blaise told her warmly.

Amora managed a small smile back. "Thank you. Make sure to have a good Christmas too."

She began to leave Slughorn's office, cringing as she entered the corridor and realised the amount of noise her heels were making. She didn't want Snape to scold her for invading their privacy or something, and so the brunette reached down and peeled them off of her feet, her toes instantly feeling less crushed as her height shrank. Holding her heels in one hand, Amora headed down the corridor, apparently so wrapped up in her own head that she didn't see something and tripped.

Amora glanced behind her, frowning when she saw nothing there. She could have sworn her legs had collided with something quite large and solid. Cautiously, Amora reached out, her hand gliding through the air until it met something soft. Her face sank in realisation and she yanked the material, revealing the boy with the lightning bolt scar.

"Harry?" She hissed without thinking.

Harry quickly pressed his finger against his own mouth and grabbed her, pulling her under the invisibility cloak with him. Amora would have protested, but she quickly realised what he was doing perched outside a classroom door. Snape and Draco were behind it.

"You shouldn't be listening -"

Amora was cut off by his hand covering her mouth. Amora's eyes widened and she considered elbowing him in the stomach, only she suddenly heard the hiss of Snape.

"Listen to me," Snape snapped, making her grow still. "I am trying to help you. I swore to your mother I would protect you. I made the Unbreakable Vow, Draco —"

"Looks like you better break it, then, because I don't need your protection," Draco spat, "I'm fine on my own. I don't need you butting into my business or asking me to come to your office every week. I don't need you, I've got my own help."

Amora assumed he was talking about Theo, Blaise, and Pansy, but her blood suddenly ran cold at the realisation that Snape knew. Snape knew that Draco was a Death Eater, he was even offering his help! Her heart began to pound out of her chest, the prickling fear that Draco had held back information from her making her feel sick again like this morning after her nightmare.

"You're speaking like a child," she heard Snape hiss, "I quite understand that your father's capture and imprisonment has upset you, but -"

The sound of footsteps coming towards the door from inside the classroom made Harry jump back, holding Amora tighter so that she didn't move and give them away. They stuck to the wall as they watched Draco storm out of the classroom and around the corner of the corridor, to get as far away from Snape as possible.

Harry grabbed Amora's wrist and pulled her back, turning the corner. Amora immediately tugged her arm out of his grasp as soon as they were free. She was breathing quite heavily, trying not to look at Harry who reached out to touch her.

"Are you okay -"

"Why were you listening to them?" Amora jolted her hand away and glared. "That was none of your business!"

Harry's green eyes flickered to the shoes in her hand. "As if you weren't about to do the same thing."

"I wasn't," Amora protested, her voice breaking. "I mean, I just wanted to find him - I - I didn't want to get in trouble for following, and -"

"You're suspicious of him too, aren't you, Amora?" Harry said, "I know what I said at the start of the year is true. I know Draco Malfoy is a Death Eater. You have to leave him, Amora, before it's too late."

She froze. There was that conversation again, except this time it was different because Amora knew the truth. Harry was spot on with his accusation and had been since the start of the school year, and now she had to look him in the eye and lie to him. Everything depended on it.

Memories of her dream came back and she nearly broke down into tears. The fake memory of Voldemort thanking her. Harry being murdered right in front of her and the Death Eaters winning the war.

Amora took a deep breath and put on her best poker face. "Draco's not a Death Eater, Harry," she managed. "I'm not suspicious of him, so you shouldn't be either. You're completely mad."

"Then what was Snape saying he would help him with? And why was he talking about how he was chosen? Chosen for what, Amora? Chosen by who?" Harry's voice grew louder with the more passionate he grew.

"I don't know, Harry!" Amora cried, though her brain was whirring with what Snape's involvement in this was. "Look... Maybe it's to do with this internship-job-thing Draco's after at the Ministry this summer. I don't know. Whatever it is, though, I can assure you that it is not Death Eater related, because Draco isn't one!"

She was pretty proud of the lie she had managed to come up with on the spot, but Harry wasn't buying it one little bit.

He clenched his jaw. "You're a bad liar, Amora. Why are you protecting him?"

Amora sniffed. "I'm not lying. I don't need you to believe me, though. I'm leaving."

"Amora -'' He grabbed her wrist, but she whirled around and shot him a threatening look.

"Do you really think I would be with a Death Eater, Harry?" Amora spat, but every word that left her lips was forced and felt like acid on her tongue. "That's not - that's not me."

"Amora -"

She ignored him as he called after her, watching her head in the same direction that Draco had disappeared into.

She went as far as her legs would take her as they shook beneath her body. She made it down a set of stairs before she sank down onto the bottom one, dropping her heeled shoes to the side of her. Sinking her head into her arms, Amora tried to breathe in and out as evenly as she could, each one shakier than the last.

Amora wanted to protect Draco; she wanted to keep all of her friends safe. However, in doing so, she was becoming a bad person - someone she wouldn't recognise if she were to look in the mirror. Her morals were falling apart, her lies were becoming bigger and more dangerous than herself.

How could she just lie like that? About something so serious! Was this who she was now? She knew she was covering up for Draco, but in the bigger picture, she was aiding Voldemort. The same thing that had murdered her cousin just over a year and a half ago.

Amora tried to calm down. She tried to convince herself that it wasn't a big deal and that she was only doing what Draco would do for her if he was in her shoes. But it felt so wrong... What if she was causing more bad than she was good?

The brunette struggled to her feet. She couldn't sit around moping all night. She grabbed her shoes and took a deep breath, feeling it melt through her whole body. It didn't calm Amora. Nothing would.

How did her friends do this? How did Draco do this? She wasn't fit for this... This isn't what Amora thought her sixth year would be like. This isn't what she thought a friendship with the Slytherins and a relationship with Draco Malfoy would be like at all...

Clenching her eyes shut, she tried to stop the voices in her head that were pleading for her to go back to Harry and tell the truth. Amora's eyes snapped back open and she swallowed thickly when she felt the necklace on her chest warm.

She knew she would lie again for him if she had to, but this didn't feel right...

Amora reached for the pins and the hair bands keeping her bun up and began to pull them out. Her head hurt to the point where it was making her feel sick - or maybe that was what her lies were doing to her. She massaged her scalp with her fingers, releasing a small sigh.

The Slytherin ring attached to the chain around her neck began to burn a little hotter, and for longer too. Amora realised that Draco must be holding into it for a more significant reason than 'goodnight'. She felt like she couldn't even face him right now, though.

But her feet moved first. She climbed from the step, reaching for her shoes again. She walked only three or four more steps before she heard somebody clear their throat from behind her. Amora froze, worried who she might find, only to turn and see her boyfriend at the top of the stairs. She swallowed and waited for him to come down, his hair a little disheveled and his own necklace pulled out of his shirt for once, bouncing a little against his chest with every step he took.

He slowed as he got closer to her, his silver eyes taking in her beauty. Draco thought he might actually prefer this dress to her Yule Ball one; he felt like it embodied her personality a bit better. He stopped on the last step when he noticed how worried she looked, almost like she had aged within the last time had seen her, which had only been sometime before the party.

"You look beautiful," he said softly.

Amora closed her eyes and didn't reply. Draco, confused as ever, moved closer, his hands reaching to touch her arms. He didn't miss the way she sort of flinched under his touch and his fingers fell away from her almost immediately.

"Did something happen?" Draco whispered. He was already furious at whoever had hurt her - faces flashing of everybody he had caught a glimpse of at the party before he had been thrown out, trying to work out which one was most likely to hurt his Amora.

"I -" Amora began, unsure how to phrase her dilemma. "I had to lie for you today."

His tense posture and the crease between his brows softened ever so slightly. He had not been expecting that.

"What do you mean?" He tilted his head ever so slightly.

"To Harry," Amora breathed, feeling her eyes begin to well up much to her dismay. "About you being a..." She trailed off. "A you-know-what. I just - Merlin, Draco... I thought I could handle the guilt if it meant you were okay."

Draco looked disappointed, shrinking back a little. "But you can't."

Another tear fell. "I want to," Amora's voice cracked. "Because I know you'd do the same for me in a heartbeat."

"A million times over."

Amora ignored him. "No, that's a lie, actually - that I wish I could lie for you. I wish I didn't have to lie in the first place. I wish none of this had ever happened to you, and that we were in a normal relationship."

Draco took a long inhale through his nose. He looked like he was contemplating what to say, his eyes swimming with apprehension, and then all of a sudden, like a switch, he turned it off. She was staring at the Draco from September and October.

"Stop it," Amora scolded him weakly. "Please don't use Occlumency around me, Draco. Not right now. I need us to be real with each other because... because I'm really scared right now."

"What are you scared of?" Draco breathed, his hand moving to cup her cheek on pure instinct as he hesitated to let his guard down, feeling everything coming back to him like a punch in the gut.

For a split second he expected her to flinch away like the first time, but she melted into it. Draco felt a tear fall against his hand, like a warm shock to his cold system. His thumb darted to gently wipe it away, but he had no words to offer right now. Amora looked so conflicted and worried... He felt bad for putting her in this situation.

"I'm scared of being on the wrong side of this war," Amora struggled to admit, "I'm scared of being a bad person and I'm absolutely terrified that it's going to cost me something - one of you guys, my parents, my old friends, I don't know. I just feel like me lying right now is going to cause something bad to happen in the future. A-And I can't condone this; I can't say one thing and then do another. It's hypocritical. It's - This is not who I am, Draco. I've always followed my morals..."

"You said you'd bend them for me, Amora," Draco said, trying not to grow angry. "When you came to me and said you wanted a relationship anyway, you said you were willing to lie for me. Besides, morals aren't always black and white."

"I didn't know what I was talking about," Amora choked, pulling away from him. "Please, Draco. Please. Try - Just try to see this from my point of view."

"I am trying," Draco snapped, taking a step away from her and running his hand through his hair. "But, Merlin, Amora, why didn't you think this through clearer, huh? Surely - Surely you knew it wouldn't be like our relationship last year? Surely you knew that you were going to have to lie at some point?"

"I didn't know it would affect me as much as it has," Amora swallowed, "I've been having these - these nightmares about it all! I thought I was stronger than this and that I could do it for you, but I was wrong."

"You're not -" Draco sighed loudly. "You're not weak, okay?"

"Please will you reconsider talking to Dumbledore?" Amora pleaded with him, reaching forward and grasping his blazer with both hands. "Please. I'm actually begging you."

"I can't," Draco said, "You know I can't."

"You can't or you won't?"

The blond boy stilled. "I can't," he repeated. "Not with my mother in that house with him and not with my father stuck in Azkaban. It's not safe - it's too much of a risk."

Amora's hands moved to bury against her face. "Fuck."

She'd hadn't even known his secret for two months and she'd only had to lie to one person, but she couldn't do it. Amora physically couldn't do it again. And it took tonight for her to realise that. To realise that she wasn't one of the good guys so long as she was lying for her Death Eater boyfriend.

"Is this it, then?" Draco asked, his voice dull and dragging her out of her thoughts. "Is this it for us?"

Amora's eyes glittered. "I really don't want it to be. I love you so much."

"And I love you too," Draco declared, "Isn't that enough?"

The brown-eyed girl stayed quiet far too long for Draco's liking. He moved backwards, dropping down onto the bottom step. He shook his head, placing his hand on his forehead. This was the last thing he had been suspecting when he had seen her at the bottom of the staircase tonight, looking like some sort of actual golden being. He didn't want things to end like this, on some random December evening - or at all, actually.

Amora sat down next to him. Much to his surprise, she tilted her head to rest it on his shoulder. "Maybe I'm blowing things out of proportion," Amora whispered, "I'm not leaving you, Draco. I most likely just need to sleep on it. You've caught me at a bad time."

"I don't want to bring you down with me," Draco said. "I don't want you to end up like me."

"It's not your fault," Amora murmured, grabbing his hand, her thumb stroking the top of his. "I know, given the choice, you would have never willingly signed up for this. You tried to keep this from me and Pans and Theo and Blaise - you tried to protect us all the best you could. It shouldn't be your burden to carry alone. I want to be there for you."

"But being there for me..." Draco realised quietly, "Is like being there for..."

"For Voldemort." Amora wasn't sure what brought her to finally say his name for the first time ever, but it caused Draco to flinch next to her. Her own heart jolted. She hadn't expected his name to leave her lips.

"And he killed my cousin, Draco," Amora swallowed, "He's everything I'm against and you're, albeit unwillingly, with him."

They sat in silence for longer before Amora shifted to stand up, their hands parting.

"Why does Professor Snape know?"

Draco froze. "W-What?"

"I know Snape knows. He's meant to protect you -"

"Were you listening to my conversation, Amora?" Draco snapped through gritted teeth.

"Don't turn this on me," she warned, "I came looking for you because I was worried. And I wasn't the only one who heard something, either. Harry was there. Harry heard stuff and now he's even more sure of your... alliance."

Draco ran a hand through his hair. "So you two were just outside the door, then? Together? And you let him listen?"

"I caught him at the last minute," Amora said, "And by then, I was too startled by Snape saying that he had an Unbreakable Vow with your mother for me to do anything! So... So is Snape... is he...?"

"Yes," Draco replied numbly, looking at his shoes.

Amora felt faint. This man was her Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher! He worked closely with her mother and Dumbledore, for goodness sake! How did their headteacher not know... How was this even possible?

"He's a half-blood, though," Amora whimpered, "Why would he -"

"There are plenty of half-bloods who join the cause," Draco said, "Snape's been in it as long as my father has. Though he has always been more talk than action."

"Draco, why didn't you tell me?" Amora glared at him furiously. "I mean, what else are you not telling me?"

Draco grabbed her hand that was flying about animatedly. "Maybe..." He murmured, his voice low. "Maybe it's best that you just don't know anything anymore. Then you won't feel so guilty for knowing in the first place."

He was right, but she felt sick. Amora nodded and pulled herself away from him. "Yes. I don't want... I don't want to know a thing," she muttered.

Except she did. She wanted to know everything and go straight to Dumbledore so he could fix this, and yet the only thing holding her back was Draco. She was being selfish. Incredibly selfish. This was a whole war and she was risking everything for the sake of her boyfriend.

The sickening feeling from this morning came again.

"I should head to bed," she announced quietly.

  "I - Yeah. That sounds... like a good idea," he said before pursing his lips. "Will I see you tomorrow? Before you leave?"

Amora barely managed  a small, wavering smile. "I suppose I will need my kiss goodbye."

D.M + A.B

21st December 1996

When Amora learned that she would be taking the train home this Christmas and not her usual Hogsmeade route with her mother, it was only half an hour before she had to go - making her late. Amora frantically shoved the last of her belongings into her bag, cursing the fact that she had told Kathy not to bother waking her up since she usually left later than those going home by train.

"Amora, I told you this!" Professor Buckley huffed from the doorway, tapping her foot on the floor.

"No, no you didn't!" Amora protested, only half her hair brushed and her t-shirt horribly crumbled as her mother yanked her bag from her, walking away to speed the process up. "Why aren't we just using the Floo from Hogsmeade like always?"

"Well, due to the current climate, I'm a bit apprehensive of travelling through Hogsmeade or using somebody else's Floo," Professor Buckly admitted as Amora struggled to keep up with her long strides. "Now, are you sure you have your wand? That's the main thing."

Amora patted the pocket of her coat, feeling it. "Yep," she confirmed before suddenly gasping so loud that it caused her mother to jump in fright.

"What? What is it?" Her mother exclaimed worriedly.

"Mum, I have to say goodbye to my friends," Amora pleaded with her quickly.

"You'll see them in three weeks," Professor Buckley dismissed her, continuing her fast pace. "And I'm sure your father wouldn't be opposed to you messaging them all a Christmas card if they're staying here at Hogwarts."

"No, you don't understand -" Amora thought of Draco and the way they had left things last night.

"I do understand better than you think," her mother said, "I was young once too. I had a friend group like you. And trust me when I say that they will understand. Perhaps if you hadn't been so tardy, you would have been able to give them a proper goodbye. But I'm sure a letter will suffice."

"Mum—"

"Amora!"

Amora didn't bother trying to fight her anymore. She frowned as they left the castle, joining the bustle of students who were heading towards the train— which was most of the school. Guilt began to consume her, just like it had last night. Why was this one of the worst feelings in the world?

"Are you sure I can't stay for Christmas?" Amora asked one more time. "Please, mum?"

"No, I let you stay last year, now you're coming home for this one," her mother replied. "We're going to have a nice Christmas this year. Just the three of us."

That was exactly what Amora didn't want.

"Quick, quick. On the train," Professor Buckley gave Amora a push off the platform and onto Hogwarts Express. "We just made it," she said as she climbed on after her daughter.

Amora hummed in response, moving into the carriage next door which was empty. She began to place her bags up into the storage rack above when her eyes caught sight of somebody breathlessly jogging onto the platform, looking around worriedly. Draco held a box in his hand, his hair pushed back off of his face and one of his normal black suits on. He was looking for her.

The train began to whistle. It was going to leave. She had no time to get off of it, so she stood up and propped open the window.

"Draco!" Amora called, "Draco!"

His eyes lit up in recognition and he ran towards her. He leaned up so he could pass the box through the window, their hands pressed together on the glass.

"Don't open it until Christmas," Draco managed to yell over the sound of the train's engine and the growing whistles.

Amora felt the train begin to rumble to life and she wished desperately that she was on the other side of the glass as him. He sent her an unsure smile as the train began to move, causing him to take a few steps back.

I love you. Amora mouthed.

And he was gone all too soon. Amora stared out the window as the scene turned to blurred trees, her throat feeling tight. She took a deep breath and sat down in her seat, opposite her mother.

"That was sweet," her mother murmured, almost like she didn't really want to admit it.

Amora didn't reply but fiddled with the wrapped present in her hands. She wanted to be back with him already. Wanted to spend Christmas with Draco and their friends.

But maybe it would be easier this way. If they were to be apart for a little while, it might allow her brain to make a rational decision about this whole mess without Draco and his intoxicating self getting in the way.

Amora started her Christmas off in her bedroom. When the day arrived, she woke early to the sound of rain coming down against her window, only to realise she had left it open. Icy water has trickled into her plants and down the windowsill, onto her bed. She'd been saved by her thick duvet, but it still dampened her mood.

The first thing she did was open the present Draco had given her. She'd been resisting the urge to do so for the past four days, and peeling off the neat wrapping paper was like a relief.

Inside was a small snow globe. It could fit in Amora's hand, the base a dark green colour, the glass bit wrapped protectively. Her breath hitched as she peeled it back to reveal two penguins. They sat with their backs to one another, all slouched and cute, and one was reading a book whilst the other held a wand.

Amora gently shook the globe, watching in awe as the wand spurted snowflakes that rained over the two penguins. Then, she realised, engraved onto the side of the snow globe were words Amora had uttered to Draco almost two and half years ago.

Penguins huddle together for warmth.

Amora had no clue how long he had had this for. He must have gotten it during a Hogsmeade trip. Her heart pounded as she thought about the phrase that clearly held significance to him. That Draco believed they provided each other warmth, figuratively.

The brunette released a heavy sigh and shook the snow globe again. She loved him so much. It felt impossible how hard her heart beat for him and nobody else. And yet, being with him was wrong. It was so confusing.

Before heading down for breakfast, Amora wrote all of her friends Christmas letters, seeing as they had no cards in the house. She was sure they would get to Hogwarts by lunch time, if their family owl could travel the entire length of England to Scotland in time.

Her letters to Pansy, Blaise, and Theo were quite short and sweet. Nothing out of the ordinary. Her one for Draco was a bit longer. She reassured him that she loved the gift and that she loved him. No mention of their last conversation with one another. She was sure they would finish it when they could finally see each other face to face again.

Her father allowed her to quickly mail the letters to her friends and then they sat down for presents. Hers were the same sort of thing she usually got. A few books and a new jumper and a pair of shoes. Then came breakfast, and a boring day of playing cards with her parents until lunch. After, she helped her mother clean up whilst her father fell asleep on the sofa, not to wake up until just before bedtime. 

By that time, Amora was back in bed, candles lighting her small room as she read her new books. Her only company was the rain, and then a small bang.

Amora gasped and opened the window for their owl to fly inside, getting its soaked feet all over her windowsill much to her dismay. In its mouth it held two different letters.

The first was from her three friends, wishing her a happy Christmas. The second was from Draco.

Dear Amora,

Merry Christmas. I was happy to get your letter. I'm glad that you liked your present. I hope the rest of your Christmas is good too. I miss you already.

Yours,

Draco.

She held the note close to her chest as she reached up to shut her bedroom window again. Her thumb smoothed over the neat cursive ink, her eyes closing as she buried herself beneath the covers with it.

New Years came and went. It was officially 1997. She'd be seventeen this year and Theo would be eighteen right at the beginning of September. Time was going by so quickly that by September she would already be in her last year at Hogwarts. Amora wasn't sure how to feel about it, but she tried to push it to the back of her mind for now.

It was quite easy to do, really, when she had so much else already whirring about in her head. All thoughts centred on Draco. Even as she helped her mother bake or took short walks up and down the beach (wrapped up warm in several layers), he was all she could think about. Their situation was all she could dream of at night.

Even more awful nightmares plagued her sleep where she was recruited as a Death Eater, or where she was found to be a liar covering for Draco and sent to Azkaban. She even had one or two where Cedric found out and was devastated. Where he spoke to her in his ghost form, asking her how she could defend somebody who was from the same group that murdered him at the mere age of seventeen.

And then there was that other stupid voice in the back of her head. But he was forced. He's scared too. Draco loves you. He deserves you to be there for him.

It rained and rained. She was forced to watch the rocky sea and that alone, for by the second of January she had already finished every new book she had been gifted for Christmas. She began to read her old ones and one night she even got so bored that she started to read her fathers' books about owls and owlet training, which promptly caused her to slip into a coma from boredom.

When the fifth of January finally rolled around, Amora thought she would be thrilled, but she experienced nothing but dread and guilt. She'd be seeing Draco today. Her boyfriend - who was a Death Eater.

Why had it taken lying to Harry about it to make her realise how wrong the situation was? Of course she had always known it was bad, but now felt even more responsible. Knowing about it was one thing, lying about it was another. It gave her a bigger role, a role she didn't want to fill anymore.

She knew what she had to do, but Amora wasn't sure if she could do it.

...

i am so fucking mad at myself,, WHY DIDN'T I MAKE THEIR MATCHING PATRONUSES PENGUINS??? maybe that would have been too cheesy,, but dammit i think it would have been adorable for them to watch their 'penguins' like slide about in front of them and stuff. ugh.

i also forgot to mention but i have an instagram account for my wattpad called 'dyiansobrien.wp' where i may post edits/sneak peaks and other stuff. feel free to follow if you want to!! i'm working on being more active over there rn, especially regarding training wheels bc it's my baby.

thanks so much for reading <33

word count: 7.3k

dyiansobrien.