TRAINING WHEELS—
I MUST NOT TALK BACK.

043

Amora walked in behind the group of Slytherins to avoid any suspicion, but was frozen in her tracks when she realised the seating plan was exactly the same as last year. Harry and Ron sat together, Hermione was next to Leon, and right in front of Crabbe and Goyle was an empty seat next to Draco. She caught Harry sending her a sympathetic glance as she walked by, taking the same seat from the school year before.

"Oh, great," Draco muttered sourly, intending for the people around to hear. "Yet another gruelling year of having to work with Buckley."

Amusement blossomed inside Amora's chest at his words and she found herself having to bite back a smile. It was like their own inside joke, one that barely anybody else in the room could understand. The people that had been listening, which weren't that many, craned their ears to hear what Amora had to say in return.

She scoffed. "Do you mind shutting up? Your voice goes straight through me."

Draco shot his eyebrows up at her, a sneering glare on his aristocratic features. However, Amora could see the glint flash in his eyes. He was just as amused as she was.

The focus on the pair of 'enemies' seemed to dwindle away and become fixated upon a charmed paper bird flying around the room, courtesy of Padma.

It swooped past the heads of the teenagers, Seamus jumping up to try and swat it down whilst people laughed. Amora watched it dive into the air towards the high ceiling when Crabbe grabbed a slingshot from his robe and shot it. It drifted lower and lower until a magical spark spat out and destroyed it, the burnt remains crumbling onto the Patil twins' table.

"Good morning, children."

The sickly sweet voice had come from behind them. Amora craned her neck just like everybody else as the room went silent. Professor Umbridge stood there, her wand in her hand and an elegant smile on her face.

Amora's eyes drifted over to Professor Umbridge, their new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. She held her wand in her hands and had an elegant smile on her face as she began to approach the front of the classroom, using her wand to write on the chalkboard.

"Ordinary Wizarding Level examinations," she chirped, "O W Ls, more commonly known as O.W.L.s. Study hard and you will be rewarded. Fail to do so, and the consequences may be severe."

Textbooks were then magically handed around the room whilst everybody stared unsurely, wondering if they were about to get the same lecture that they had been getting from every teacher in every class so far today. Amora was already stressed enough about the exams as it was-- she didn't need every teacher trying to drill it into her as soon as she stepped into the room.

"Your previous instruction in this subject has been disturbingly uneven," Professor Umbridge continued, "But you will be pleased to know that from now on, you will be following a carefully structured Ministry-approved course of defensive magic."

Amora picked up her brand new text book 'Dark Arts Defence: Basic for Beginners', frowning at the cover. Very quickly, Hermione had her hand up in the air.

"There's nothing in here about using defensive spells?" Hermione frowned curiously.

"Using spells?" Umbridge replied in shock, a giggle following. "Well, I can't imagine why you would need to use spells in my classroom."

Amora's face scrunched up.

"We're not going to be using magic?" Ron butted in.

Umbridge was quick to reply. "You will be learning about defensive spells in a secure, risk-free way."

Most students were staring at her as if she was insane. Amora couldn't help but agree with them. Wasn't the whole point of Defence Against the Dark Arts to be able to defend themselves? How could they do that if they weren't even allowed to use or witness magic in the classroom?

"What use is that?" Harry scoffed, "If we're attacked, it won't be risk-free."

Umbridge's sickly sweet smile seemed to turn sour. "Students will raise their hands when they speak in my class," she said sternly.

Several students stuck their hands into the air. Professor Umbridge called upon Dean Thomas, who seemed to back Harry's point, only to get cut off abruptly.

"I repeat. Do you expect to be attacked during my classes?"

Dean began to stammer, "No, but I--"

"It is the view of the Ministry that a theoretical knowledge will be sufficient to get you through your examinations which, after all, is what school is all about," Professor Umbridge tried to reason with her falsely sweet tone.

"And how's theory supposed to prepare us for what's out there?" Harry cut in.

Amora felt her heart jolt. She knew what he was implying-- Harry was talking about Voldemort, the same thing that had killed her cousin. A war was coming, Harry knew it, and she believed him, even if the Ministry wouldn't.

"There is nothing out there, dear," Umbridge beamed, and Amora felt a pulse of anger surge through her. "Who do you imagine wants to attack children like yourself?"

"Oh, I don't know," Harry replied sarcastically, "Maybe Lord Voldemort?"

Amora flinched. People whispered all around the classroom, shocked to hear Harry say his name out loud. She knew a lot of the people in the room didn't believe that Voldemort was back anyway. They had believed the Daily Prophet and their parents. Seamus, for example, had been talking bad about Harry since the school year had started yesterday.

Umbridge's smile seemed to falter and she struggled to uphold her image. "Now let me make this quite plain. You have been told that a certain dark wizard is at large once again. This is a lie."

"It's not a lie!" Harry burst, "I saw him, I fought him."

Amora's hands were practically shaking, her mouth dry and her eyes nearly wetting for the first time since she'd arrived back at Hogwarts. Under the table, Draco placed his hand on her leg to stop it from bouncing, but he didn't look away from where Umbridge and Harry were practically going head to head.

"Detention, Mr Potter!" Umbridge shrieked.

"So according to you Cedric Diggory dropped dead at his own accord?'

Shit. It had been a week since Amora had last cried about her cousin, and now she was struggling to hold back more than ever. No way did she want to get so emotional in front of her entire class, but her heart was pounding so hard that it felt like it was bruising her ribcage. Some students were staring at her, as if waiting for her to start bawling.

"Cedric Diggory's death was a tragic accident!" Umbridge replied through gritted teeth.

"No it wasn't!" Amora suddenly cried and, much to her horror, hot tears began to sail down her cheeks. "How can you say that? How can you degrade Cedric's death like that? Harry was there, why would he lie about it?"

Harry's chest seemed to be heaving just as much as hers and Professor Umbridge's. He glanced over at her, the two of them silently agreeing that they hated this woman with all of their hearts.

"Now, Miss Buckley, is it?" Umbridge tried to sweeten her, but every word came out sterner than the last. "I understand that this was a highly personal loss for you and your family, but I will not have you taking that sort of tone with me."

Draco squeezed her leg, as if trying to get her to be quiet. Amora couldn't stay quiet. She refused to. When Goyle had made fun of Leon and Kathy for being Half-bloods, she couldn't stay quiet. When Draco had mocked the Weasleys for being poor or Hermione for being a Muggle-born, she refused to stay silent. She'd do the same for Cedric now, even if he wasn't there to witness it.

"He's back," Amora's voice was shaking. "You'll regret not listening to Harry."

"Detention, Miss Buckley," Professor Umbridge replied softly, "For talking back. I gave you the chance to be quiet, however, it seems you have wished to defy me. All actions have consequences. I did not wish to give two of my students detention during their first lessons, but I hope this teaches the rest of you that you should not wish to make an enemy of me. I am only here to teach what the Ministry has asked of me."

She gave another giggle and strained a smile at the horrified looks of students around the room.

Amora's lip curled in a Draco-like fashion and she couldn't tell if the tears running down her face were out of sadness or anger now. She brushed them away hastily.

D.M + A.B

Amora was the first out of Umbridge's classroom as soon as the bell went for the end of the day. She didn't even look at Draco, didn't wait for Harry or Ron or Hermione or any of her Hufflepuff friends, she just marched and marched until she was as far away from that wretched woman as possible. Somehow, Hannah had managed to catch up to her, grasping her arm with a sad smile.

"I'm sorry, Amora," Hannah said, "Umbridge shouldn't have said that in front of you--"

"She shouldn't have said it at all!" Amora replied hastily, "Cedric's death was not some freak accident."

Hannah watched her sympathetically, nodding along. Amora wasn't sure if Hannah was just trying to be nice or if she actually believed her, but Amora was starting to feel like Harry did-- like she was insane and nobody was taking her seriously. Amora gently pulled her arm away from Hannah and bit her lip.

"I should go get some food. My first detention's at five."

Amora drifted into the Great Hall where barely anybody was, most people retreating to their dorms for a while or changing into comfier clothes. She grasped an apple from one of the bowls and headed straight back out, the frown not leaving her face for a second.

When a hand grabbed her and pulled her into an unused hallway, Amora was less than surprised to be staring into silver pools.

"Are you..." Draco scanned her face with a frown of his own. "Are you all right?"

"Mhm," Amora hummed, barely looking him in the eye. "I don't actually want to talk about it, Draco. It will just make me angrier."

Draco's jaw clenched slightly and his fingers lightly grasped her chin. This time he forced her to look into his eyes. He was concerned, she could tell, but even months later he was having trouble expressing it. It looked as though he had a hundred things he wanted to actually say, but the words wouldn't roll off his tongue.

"Are you going to talk to me?" He asked, although it sounded more like a command.

"No."

Draco took a deep breath, his shoulders sagging. Amora could tell he was angry, but at that moment in time she didn't feel like dealing with his emotions on top of hers.

"You haven't actually said anything to me about... Well, about your cousin. Nothing in your letters. Not even when... Not even the day it happened. That's the first I've seen you mention him," Draco muttered, "And I thought you would. You're the one that talks, remember?"

"Not about him," Amora swallowed.

"But..." Draco trailed off, nose scrunching slightly. "The next day. I watched you go to the Hospital Wing and talk to Potter about him. You grabbed his hand. I've been waiting for you to come to me. To do the same. You haven't."

She didn't realise that Draco had seen her. Seeing Harry the day after Cedric had died had been less about giving and seeking comfort and more about finding out what had happened to her cousin. The comfort thing had just seemed to come naturally alongside it. She was surprised Draco hadn't said anything sooner. He must have been furious to see her holding Harry's hand.

The brunette's eyes closed slowly. When she opened them again, Draco was watching her with a crease between his brows.

"You were there for me the night it happened, Draco." Amora felt cold thinking about that day. "You holding me and wiping my tears meant the most to me. Sometimes, I don't like to be the one that talks. Sometimes I just want to be held."

Draco didn't say anything.

"I have to go," she murmured, "My detention starts in ten."

He watched her walk away.

D.M + A.B

When Amora knocked quietly on Professor Umbridge's door, she hoped that maybe the woman wouldn't answer and she would be able to retreat to her dorms and use that as an excuse. However, when Umbridge's sickly tone called out "come in" about five seconds later, Amora was left with no choice but to push the door open.

She wasn't sure what she was expecting when she walked inside, but it certainly wasn't a room as pink as Professor Umbridge herself. Dozens of plates hung on the taffy brick walls, mewling cats watching her every move as she glanced around cautiously. The woman herself sat behind a desk, a cup of tea in her hands as she sent Amora perhaps one of the fakest smiles she had ever seen.

"Good evening, Miss. Buckley," Professor Umbridge spoke gently, "Have a seat."

Amora slowly sat down in the chair that was behind a single desk next to Umbridge's, a sense of discomfort settling in her when she realised that there was no other seat for Harry. She guessed that they would be doing their detentions apart. Had he come before her or would he go after her?

"You're going to be doing some lines for me today, Miss. Buckley," Umbridge continued and Amora blew out a breath of relief. "You will be using one of my quills. It's a rather... special one of mine. No ink required."

The new professor selected a quill from her desk that had a large feather on the end. Amora was just surprised that it wasn't pink like everything else in the room. Umbridge stood and walked around to hand it to her, practically looming over her shoulder as Amora held it to the parchment.

"What should I write?" Amora asked quietly.

"'I must not talk back.'" Umbridge smiled, "We'll see how long it takes to sink in, yes?"

The teenage girl gripped the quill so hard that she was worried for a second she'd break it and get into even more trouble. Amora exhaled quietly and leant over the parchment, as if to attempt to conceal it from the looming woman behind her, and began to write her lines.

I must not talk back. I must not--

A burning sensation pinched at her other hand, like a thousand needles digging into her skin and breaking it. It was crimson and cursive, her own blood bubbling past the surface to create the very words that she had written on the parchment. Umbridge had been right to call it a special quill. Amora dropped the stationery, hissing as she grasped her hand and peered up at the woman in horror.

Umbridge giggled. "Yes, Miss. Buckley?"

The look behind those cold beady eyes was telling her to pick the quill back up unless she wanted trouble. Amora opened her mouth to protest, but instead swallowed harshly and glanced back down at her injured hand. It stung and burned already, and the pain only intensified as she wrote out the next line... and the one after that... and the one after that...

At one point, Amora realised that her hand was starting to feel quite numb, but... in an extremely disturbing way, the physical pain felt somewhat better than all of the emotional pain that she had been having to deal with for the past few months. It took her mind off of Cedric, it made her stop feeling guilty for being alive without him because she was in pain.

Tears streamed down her cheeks and Umbridge called it a night after what must have been an hour. Amora dropped the quill as soon as the woman had cleared her throat, tucking both hands past her robes and yanking her backpack up off of the ground. She turned from the door, about to open it when Umbridge called her name.

"I will see you again the same time tomorrow, Miss. Buckley," Umbridge said softly, "Just so we can be absolutely positive that you have learned from your mistakes."

Amora didn't reply but grabbed the door knob-- "Remember, Miss. Buckley. You must remember that, deep down, you know you deserve to be punished."

The brunette didn't look back but yanked the door open and stepped out, nearly bumping into Harry who was raising his fist to knock. Amora's teary eyes widened, realising that he was about to serve his detention.

"Harry, I--" Amora was about to warn him, when Umbridge cut in once more.

"Ah, Mr Potter. Please, come right through."

Harry frowned at Amora as if to say 'tell me later' and moved into Umbridge's office. As soon as the door slammed shut behind him, Amora felt a sense of dread and guilt. She moved further down the halls, away from Umbridge's office, and then lifted up the sleeve of her robe. She grimaced at the red, splotchy skin, her nose scrunching up at the smeared blood and the words 'I must not talk back' dented in beautifully joined handwriting.

Oddly enough, her very first instinct was to go running to Leon. The next was to go see her new Slytherin friends, but then she thought Draco wouldn't be too happy with her at the moment. He hadn't said anything, but she could see it in his eyes that he was angry.

Cedric came next, but her heart panged at the memory of his body lying on the Quidditch pitch, and she realised that she should probably just keep her mouth shut anyway. She didn't need to be writing 'I must not spread rumours' this time next week into her hand.

So Amora retreated to her dormitory, finding the other girls all sat around. Kathy gave a forced smile as soon as Amora entered, and even followed her into the bathroom as Amora began to wash her hands. Kathy didn't notice the way the water turned a reddish colour as it went down the drain, she was too focused on the brunette's face.

"Amora, we haven't properly caught up yet," the blonde beamed.

Amora nodded. "Yeah. I've been quite busy."

"Right, right. Well, I just wanted to let you know that I missed you this summer," Kathy said, "I would have written to you, only I was worried you were angry with me over what Leon did."

"It's not your fault," Amora mumbled as she dried her hands with a towel.

"Well, I was thinking, right? Why can't we just put it all past us? Leon knows about you and Draco, and he apologised, so perhaps you can work it out now? Start on a clean slate where there are no secrets and everybody is open," Kathy grinned, "What do you think?"

Amora paused. She was in a bad mood from Defence Against the Dark Arts class and the detention with Umbridge, so she didn't want to say something she might regret. Amora took a deep breath in, and a deep breath out.

"That's not the point, Kathy," she replied with. "The point is that I can never trust him again."

Kathy's smile faltered a little. "Ah, but that's what's so great about starting on a clean slate and then having no secrets! You never have to give Leon a reason not to trust you again--"

"Kathy, would you please just stop trying to make everybody friends with one another?" Amora suddenly burst, her face scrunching up. "Not everybody needs to be best pals. And I have my reasons for keeping my relationship with Draco a secret from Leon. He hates Slytherins. He always made fun of be when I had that stupid thing for Blaise Zabini in the first few years. I would have told him in my own time. I wasn't ready. I don't care if he never trusts me again anymore, because I don't trust him either."

Kathy looked quite teary as she moved to grab Amora's arm. Amora shrugged her off of it. "Look, I like you Kathy, okay? You're good for Leon and last year you were really fun to be around, but I don't need to talk to you about this. If Leon's telling you to come up to me and say this, then you should just tell him that he's lucky I don't go to Dumbledore and tell him he's been tampering with Veritaserum."

Kathy gasped, her hand on her chest. "Amora!" She cried, "You-- You wouldn't, would you?"

"So long as he leaves me alone," Amora muttered, cradling her injured hand and leaving the bathroom.

Her first day of fifth year had been shit.

----

in the books i just found umbridge annoying (ESPECIALLY WHEN SHE WAS BEING MEAN TO HAGRID AND GETTING THE SLYTHERINS TO JOIN IN) but in the films i feel like she was just SUCH an interesting character,, like villains can be SO boring sometimes but i think the best thing about her is that most of us have had a teacher like umbridge so it felt kind of relatable. and she's kinda iconic i hate to say it (JUST TO CLARIFY, I DONT LIKE HER, BUT SHE'S ONE OF THE MOST INTERESTING PARTS OF OOTP)

thanks for reading! <33

dyiansobrien