for some reason, i couldn't go back to sleep. i couldn't peel my eyes away from miles as we laid on my queen sized bed, his arms on my waist, my head on his chest. i could hear the constant thump of his heart, feel the circles he rubbed on my exposed skin.

biting my lip, i lost myself in the feel of miles, "where have you been?"

i felt a kiss on my forehead, "here, there, everywhere."

i couldn't help but smile at the fact that miles was still one for suspense; miles still kept me waiting, anticipation running up my spine, "miles, you were gone forever, i was so worried. i just..."

i stopped talked when i realized he wasn't listening, eyes centered on my neck. i felt his hand come up and push my bone straight hair away from the spot under my ear. i heard his breath catch.

and then i remembered travis.

miles' voice was a broken and i could've sworn that was the worst sound i'd ever been subjected to. he seemed like he was in disbelief and pushing the words out of his mouth was one of the hardest things he'd ever done, "w-who...? you're seeing someone?"

i shook my head rapidly, sitting up, my thighs locked on either side of his waist as if i were afraid he'd blow up and leave again, "no! miles, i promise i'm not!"

he seemed hurt, "so, random guys kiss your neck?"

"he's just a friend. we were drunk and it didn't get any further than kissing, i promise. i-i-i thought you didn't want me anymore, i-"

and that was when he entangled his fingers with mine, shutting his eyes as if it were the only thing keeping the world from exploding, "please... stop talking."

"what? aren't you mad?" i couldn't help but ask when he tugged me gently closer to him, letting go of my hand and tucking a strand of hair behind my ear. a small smile spread across his face, painfully.

miles was shaking is head, opening his mouth before he closed it. and then he opened it again, "of course but i-i don't want to fight... besides, i told you that you didn't have to wait or anything and if you said it didn't mean anything, i trust you..."

"miles..."

he rolled his eyes playfully, "listen... can i just hold you for a little while? i don't want to think about anything else but you right now," and with that, he brought my hand to his lips before giving it a small kiss then pulling me closer to him.

"why do you smell like smoke?"