Hey,

Can we talk?

...

Are you sure?

...

I've just been feeling like a open book covered in soda.

Sticky with words that cling to the pretty eyes of the world

But avoided by most who just don't want to read a dirty book.

The cover is slathered,

The title is scratched,

And the pages are ripped.

Hey,

I have a question.

Have you ever felt like morning coffee?

A liquid substance that is created to be used for the benefit of someone else's energy other than your own?

...

I see...

So I question the very foundation of my existence.

I feel as if people look at me as if I carry a chainsaw into a grocery store.

Slathered in the sweetest winery that was gifted from the beings better than mankind itself.

Covered with a masquerade that shadows the sleeping skin.

...

Why?

Because of how they look at me.

Of how they stare at me.

How they glance at me.

See, when I talk to my relatives and close ones

They say these exact words:

"There's nothing wrong with you."

"It's how you perceive things"

"You are overreacting."

I would love to clone the same reality they see.

Of how to ignore the eyes that deceit the clothes I wear

The tears I hold back.

The shoes that marks my history.

Maybe my bones carry a rusty bag full of scabs that were once paper-cuts.

Maybe my limbs tremble in the sight of truth.

Or maybe...

...

Yes,

I do fear a lot of things.

I fear the blasphemous tongue grabbing my heart

And encrypting it with mustard gas

That I'm forced to call...

Oxygen.

I sometimes wish to have helium in me.

So I could float away from the stress of gravity.

You know?

Especially when it feels like you're the piece of steak in a cage full of tigers.

How they have jaws of pride

And I don't.

How they have stripes of honor

And I don't.

How they have soft, yet deadly paws.

And I don't.

I'm not like them.

And I can't accept the fact that I'm different.

...

Being different isn't bad you say?

How?

When you don't fit into the tank of sharks,

You are simply an enemy in their eyes.

So the teeth will sink

With the force of ten towers falling.

And the blood will contort as it should.

...

What am I talking about?

I am talking about survival.

I don't want this body.

I don't want these eyes.

The eyes that everyone fear.

...

Love myself?

How to love your own skin...

When it betrays you each time you speak?

...

Its them and not me?

You sound just like my relatives...

"You're getting beefed up over nothing."

This stress is digging my grave.

But it isn't for no reason.

...

I see.

When I change my mind...

It will soon begin.

...

Thank you.