Iris

"You don't think I could be sick again tomorrow, do you?"

"I think that kind of defeats the entire purpose of you taking your sister's place because she's out of PTO."

"I came over for support, not logic." A tater tot went sailing past my head and behind the couch. Before I could move an inch to retrieve it, my gray kitten, Sushi, snagged it and disappeared under the entryway table. "If she pukes later, I'm calling you to clean it up."

Minh's plum painted lips twitched. "I'm just trying to offer you more excuses for missing work if you chicken out."

"I can't because you're right. Ivy will kill me."

"She'll get over it."

"Minh."

She shrugged, not at all apologetic. Friends since we were eleven when her family moved to the United States, she'd never been a fan of Ivy, claiming everyone let her get away with inappropriate behavior because she was charming. Which is why I glossed over the Paul fiasco today and kept my complaints vague. She would lose it.

For the record, I didn't think Minh was wrong, but Ivy was my sister. That meant being there for her even when part of me wanted to watch her finally face a few consequences.

"How's the writing going?"

"It's not." I rattled the ice in my soda and then slurped on the straw. "It's all bad. So bad."

"Come on. Let me see." She held out her hand and flexed her fingers in the universal sign for "give me."

"No! You know I don't share my rough drafts with anyone but my editor, and that's because she makes me."

Minh leapt out of her armchair and snatched my laptop from the coffee table. She settled back down, fingers flying across the keyboard. I didn't bother trying to stop her because it was locked, but when she pumped her fist triumphantly in the air, I gasped.

"How did you know the password?"

"JohnJRB92! has been your password since you got your first email account. You really should change that."

"Minh, please don't read it."

She shook her head, making her black hair swing around her chin. "Normally, I'd totally respect your boundaries, but you need help. And if you'd talked to me first before swapping places with your sister in some mad hope that her inner and outer ho would rub off on you, then I might have been able to give you some pointers."

I sighed, leaning back into the overstuffed, cream cushions of my couch and closing my eyes to fight the overwhelming anxiety that always assaulted me whenever someone read my work. She was right. Minh was the only person in the world who knew the truth about my virginal status. Not once had she shamed me or pushed me to do something about it. She let me be me and trusted if it was going to happen; it was going to happen when it was supposed to.

The sound of throat clearing made my eyes pop open, and I sat upright, pressing my lips together nervously as I waited for her to speak. Minh rubbed the back of her neck. A telling sign she hadn't liked what she read.

Grabbing a pillow, I pressed my face into it. "It's awful."

"It's not..." She sucked in a breath and released it. "It's not your best."

"That's a kind way of saying it sucks."

Minh touched the text on the computer screen and read aloud, "'Alton settled between her legs and pushed his penis inside her vagina. Daisy held onto her bouncing tits as he moved in and out of her. The bed frame groaned with their efforts. They came together with a shout.'"

Head throbbing, I rubbed at my temples. The headache had started while I was sitting in Garrett's office, and I had a feeling it wouldn't stop until Ivy returned from her trip. "I kept trying to expand the scene, but I don't have a lot of material to use."

"Well, the first thing I would tell you is don't use the words penis or vagina. Cock. Dick. Pussy. Cunt. The other words sound so clinical."

"Good lord." Feverish heat flooded my cheeks.

"Iris..." Minh eyed me thoughtfully over the laptop. "You should watch porn."

"What?"

She nodded. "Yep. If you're not willing to get the actual experience—and I'm not saying you should because romance novels aren't about the real thing—"

As intrigued as I was embarrassed, I leaned forward. "What do you mean?"

"Women read romance for the fantasy, right? I mean, your stuff isn't any different. You write about the kind of man you dream about. Possessive without being toxic. Touch her and you die. You create fantasies where she's the center, and he's there to please her. Sex is the same."

A vase on the entryway table wobbled as Sushi jumped on it. She watched me with slitted eyes as she cleaned tater tot grease off her paws. Why did it feel like she was judging me?

"You're right," I admitted, turning back to my friend. "But I don't see how watching porn plays into that."

She threw up her hands and rolled her eyes. "You've never had a guy rescue you from an abusive ex, but you know that it gets you all hot and bothered thinking about. Probably because you saw that scene on television or read it in a book. It did something for you. But if you've never had sex or watched sex, how do you know what turns you on?"

I held back the urge to tell her I knew enough about what turned me on to come twice last night with my old trusty battery operated boyfriend. Both were courtesy of vivid fantasies starring Garrett James. Maybe they were a little hazy on the specifics, but I was fairly sure he could do whatever he wanted to me and I'd like it.

She stood and grabbed her purse. Hooking it over her shoulder, she arched a brow and said, "Just give it a thought. Beyond giving you some ideas and mechanical knowledge, you'll see what turns you on and what doesn't. At the very least, that should help you write like you're part of the scene instead of an observer."

"Yeah, it's not happening," I told her. Porn was fine for some people, but it hadn't ever appealed to me.

Minh clicked her tongue against her teeth as she walked out. "You'll google ten ways to dismember someone for writing research, but you draw the line at watching people fuck each other—"

"Good evening, Mrs. Lions," I squeaked out when I spied my elderly neighbor gaping at us in the hallway.

She harrumphed and went inside while Minh laughed so hard she had tears rolling down her face. I dropped my forehead against the wall and groaned. Before this was all over, I was going to have to move.