[There should be a GIF or video here. Update the app now to see it.]

Yeah yeah, she's my girl, the best girl in the whole wide world...She's The One.
The Ramones.

August 1984.
Southern California.
Two weeks prior...

How can Alice make me so happy, yet so lost and confused?

"Mmm, that was good, Ray," Alice purred, then instinctively wrapped a leg firmly around my back. She liked to maintain our bond for as long as possible.

I kissed her glowing forehead, "Are you staying here tonight?"

"No, I have to get up early tomorrow, but I had a great time at your party. Ray, that was such a beautiful song you wrote for me, and I just loved it when you sang those lines in front of your friends."

I smiled, remembering my performance a few hours ago.

"When I see her on the street, you know she makes my life complete, and you know, I told you so, she's the one, she's the one."

She's The One, written by Joey Ramone. Alice knew how much I loved the Ramones, but didn't share my interest. Thus, when I had picked up my guitar to sing a ballad version to her, Alice figured I wrote the simple and sweet lyrics for her.

Alice doesn't need to know the truth. It's our song now...

Before fully softening, I pushed myself further in. "Thanks, Alice. I meant every word. Uhh, I've got something to tell you."

As I finally shriveled out, Alice released me, then sat up. With hopeful greenish-brown eyes, she urged, "Oh! What... is it?"

I think she wants me to tell her, "I love you." Maybe later...

I took her hand. "Remember my boss, Brian? He recently transferred to a new location and wants me to join him. I start tomorrow."

"So, it's a promotion?"

"Yeah, I'm going to be first assistant manager. I'll basically run the operations of our restaurant."

She seductively arched her lithe torso across my legs, knowing full well how much I loved the alluring pose. "Well, congratulations. I'm proud of you, Ray."

"Alice, that's not the best part."

In response, she stretched one long, perfectly shaped leg towards the ceiling, then turned her half-lidded, smoky gaze on me. My breath halted, and I trembled from the jolt of arousal. Alice saved her sexy moves for me, but to everyone else, she presented as a gorgeous, reserved, and well dressed lady.

Tracing an index finger around the unique and spectacular points on her enticing chest, I announced, "My new store is just a mile from your apartment, so I can see you more often."

Ten-hour-plus salaried manager workdays, combined with Alice's long commute to her full time job, left us with only a few nights per month to see each other. Much of our relationship consisted of short phone calls several times a week. In a way, it worked fine for me. I really loved her company, conversations, and having sex with Alice, but she wanted me to take her out on a date every time. My previous girlfriend Rachel had just visited me for multiple rounds of sex at least twice per week, so I had mostly adjusted my expectations with Alice.

For a change of pace, I had cheated on her twice, but that was over two months ago, and Alice had since become my sole romantic focus.

She regarded me with caution. "Oh. That's... it's good. Ray, sometimes I really miss you when you're working at night, and I can't call you."

It's like you love me. Just say it...

"Alice, I'll be right near you now. I can come by your apartment, or you can visit me while I'm..."

Hmm, maybe I don't want her coming by the restaurant...

She smoothly rolled out of bed, then ran a brush through her thick, slightly wavy dark brown hair, paying extra attention to the styled curls below her shoulders. "I would like to see you more. But don't just come by after work for sex. That's... not the relationship I want. For us. I need... we need, something deeper."

I need... to fuck you all the time...

The look on my face must have said it all. Alice sighed, "Look, Ray. You've really impressed me these last two months. I might not always be in the mood to make love, but I still want to be together more often. Just call before coming over."

I stood up and looked for my pants. "Okay, Alice. I can do that."

She licked her lips, then reached for me, "You know, I don't have to go home just yet..."

**************

After Alice left, I stared at the shoddily painted bedroom ceiling, and pondered my six-month-old romance with her.

She seemed happy that we had slowly grown closer, and I hoped if our relationship kept moving in that direction, she wouldn't force it too much. I didn't see myself getting married anytime soon, but things could change, and I might have to adapt.

However, spending the rest of my life with Alice did not entirely appeal to me. Though interesting, kind, and a fantastic lover, getting her in the mood could often take multiple days of romance. Despite frequent climaxes, having spontaneous sex or quickies left her emotionally unsatisfied, which made me feel inadequate. I liked doing what she needed to fully enjoy making love, but the idea of having to put in work every time we had sex didn't set well with me. Lovers all over the world discussed and resolved problems like these, but to my twenty-three year old self, they were nebulous, disconnected feelings I could never have put into words. Instead, my unsaid troubles remained hidden away in the cobwebs of my mind, lurking like the garage Black Widow to poison and suck the life out of our relationship.

Alice and I may have looked like a perfect couple, but we had not yet said, "I love you," and it hindered us. Neither of us wanted to go first, as I didn't think I was capable of loving a woman, and I guessed Alice was afraid to say it.

Writing about these thoughts and feelings makes them seem like heavy burdens, but in 1984, shallowness and resilience dominated my personality. Few things affected me emotionally, and when they did, I quickly got past them. Thus, within minutes the dawn musing dwindled away as quickly as my morning wood.

***********

I looked into the toothpaste-spotted bathroom mirror, and Alice's weird smirk at last night's parting suddenly made sense. A huge hickey decorated one side of my neck, and I burst out laughing, until my roommate Nick yelled from his bedroom, "Ray! Shut up, you cretin. It's six in the morning!"

A hickey, of all things. Alice came across to most people as classy, mature, and even a little sophisticated, which is why everyone seemed surprised when they met her. "She's not what I expected," was a common reaction, and I understood. Most of the women I had dated before Alice were young, goofy, or slutty. Some were all three...

However, once in a while Alice could be playful and funny. I might have loved her had she been that way more often, but perhaps the rarity made it special to me.

In this case, my hickey provided payback for the one I had given to her six months prior. Even though I had made sure it was small, low, and towards the back of her neck, so her collar would hide it, she had angered. "Ray, I'm twenty-six, not sixteen."

Alice had scolded, "I work with professionals, and it's important that I don't look tacky. Please don't do anything like that again."

I had taken it in stride. Many things I did on dates didn't work well, and it hadn't stopped Alice from becoming my girlfriend.

**************

Burning rubber through an intersection in my hotrod 1972 Buick Riviera near the new store, I wondered if Alice was firing a warning shot at the fresh women I would be supervising. Prior to moving in with Nick, I had lived in Alice's apartment building for a year, so she knew my ways.

In that year before we dated, Alice had met and seen me with my young ex-girlfriend Rachel many times, and I'm pretty sure she stopped to hear us going at it in the dusty storeroom one morning. Before and after I broke up with Rachel, Alice had also witnessed women leaving my apartment with disheveled work clothes, sloppy makeup, and messy fuck hair.

Alice hadn't said anything, but it was completely reasonable for her to suspect I might be preyed upon at my new restaurant.

At six feet tall, I looked somewhat like a young Tom Hanks, and had a reputation from my last two stores for showing women good times. I wasn't every girl's preference, but a surprising number of them flirted with me, and some were shockingly bold.

Being with Alice helped me stay professional, and I strove to remain faithful, but it's literally hard for a young man with options to keep it in his pants. I bubbled with curiosity to see if Alice's hickey plan worked, or if it would backfire, because some women deliberately went after men who were taken...

Thanks for reading, don't forget to vote and comment.