166:

There was no excitement in her as she moved through the half framed walls of her future home. Instead she identified a feeling of permanence, and therefore the need to simply get it done and get on with her life. She asked about the old homestead house and Chris gave her a detailed description and then volunteered to take them out to have a look.

It wasn't long, the sun wasn't even three-quarters of the way past the brilliantly snowy tree line when they traipsed inside the weather-beaten old farm house. The low ceilings, the lack of carpet, the barn siding on the eight inch thick walls, the wood burning stove, the old furniture still there, looking faded and torn, and perhaps full of vermin, until Chris told her they'd bug bombed the place before reinforcing the flooring and the roof for her in case she wanted to stay there while her house was being built. Danny squealed in approval and raced toward the stairs at the back of the smaller house, dashing here and there like a banshee.

Thinking they might decide to camp out, Tracy had brought her food and water with her, her zero-temp sleeping bags and tent, that they'd bought in Alaska. It wasn't her first time camping in cold weather. Danny was enchanted with the whole idea. Blaze's look said that the accommodations were a little rough for him and asked where the workers stayed, and was told they actually flew home each evening. "What about bears?" he'd muttered, pinching his nose and shaking his head as Chris hollered that he needed to get back to work.

The afternoon was spent moving their belongings in a borrowed pick-up truck back down to the homestead house and making it steadfast and warm, after the initial chimney fire cleared the creosote out, it actually did feel a bit warmer, but Tracy made them all set up sleeping bags in the one main room, near the wood burning stove.

Blaze came into the room from the kitchen area. His eyes lit on hers. "Stove works, you have running water, there's a refrigerator—mid-70's, I'd guess. It works."

Tracy cocked her head to one side, lifting Megan's leg to be cleaned and re-diapered. "I brought other food stuff, but maybe we can bring in that ice chest?"

"You brought actual food, not just MRE's?" he laughed.

She had the grace to look a little sheepish. "I've been unprepared before. Our church teaches preparedness, you know. We have to do better. I'm not really stable, I mean, like living in one place, but I plan to have enough food storage and other stuff to survive a nuclear blast."

"Why?" he sat down on the dilapidated couch and plumped a rather dusty pillow in disgust. "Are you expecting a nuclear blast?"

She finished diapering the twin and set her on her feet to toddle off after her brother and sister. "Eventually, yeah, I think it might come to that."

"Does your church teach that?" Blaze eyed her quizzically, it was the most she'd said to him that wasn't sarcastic in a week. He was actually getting bored babysitting her and the three kids, especially since she wouldn't talk to him about anything relevant, and he knew she refused to feel her attraction for him or allow herself to.

She sat back amid sleeping bags and air mattresses. "No. I just figure it might happen and I want to be prepared. The scriptures say the earth will be cleansed by fire."

"So, why can't God just send a fire? Like an asteroid or something? He sent a flood didn't he?"

She laughed. "Yeah, he did, and he can just send an asteroid, or a comet even, that's actually pretty likely, but I was thinking it could also be in the works from a war or something. He works through man's choices as well."

Ding dong, boring, he thought. Back to choices and agency. He didn't want to talk about that again. In fact he didn't want to talk about church or God either. She was far too religious for him. Being with her constantly for over a week had opened his eyes to just how religious she really was. And in her own way, although she never told him so, her simple philosophies condemned his way of life pretty dramatically. She focused on her kids, she spent a lot of free time reading and writing when not playing with or educating her kids. It wasn't even a conscious thing with her; it was the way she spoke, the things she spoke about. They were inundated with it, a way of life, not a separate part of life. He noticed she read and wrote a lot.

She noted his indifference and looked away. She had tried several approaches to religious discussions, but he'd resisted quite nicely. It was obvious he didn't want to investigate any further. She was okay with that. In fact, she was a little stifled by his other attentions, and had wished on more than one occasion that he would just get bored enough to leave her alone.

"When are we going back to civilization?" he asked point-blank.

Tracy's eyes snapped up to meet his and his were inscrutable. He didn't want her to know what he was thinking, but she thought she did anyway, had followed his train of though fairly well. "Tomorrow." She shrugged.

He laughed. "You don't have to just 'cause you think it's what I want."

"You've been following us around long enough, it's time to get back to your life."

"I haven't really minded." He said, and knew it was true.

Tracy played with the zipper on the bag beneath her. "Why did you come?"

Blaze twiddled his goatee. He pursed his lips thoughtfully. To be honest, he didn't know. He didn't really want to examine why he felt inclined to spend time, unwarranted and unnecessary time, with her. She was hot. Totally hot. And needy, and cute, and dynamic. But she didn't feel that way about him, it was obvious. He'd tried to feel that side of her out, really push the limit, and she wasn't biting.

His eyebrows rose and fell, and he sighed as his thoughts perplexed him. "Don't know exactly."

Tracy nodded, bit the inside of her own lip and twiddled, not uncharacteristically with the zipper again. "I'm different." She stated calmly without looking up, realizing it herself.

He didn't look at her now either. Not directly. "Weird, is more like it."

She nodded, looking pointedly at the plaid flannel. "You're attracted to weird."

He cocked his head to one side. "Not enough to follow it around like this."

She understood. He wasn't saying he minded following her around, or that he didn't want to, just that he wasn't sure what was behind his actions, where the motivation lay. "So, you're complacent." Again, a statement not a question.

He shrugged. "Yeah, I'm okay. I'm not in any hurry to be away, or be home, or anything. I just wanted to know what your plans were." He winked at her as she looked up. "Not to check up on you, I don't really care if you run off somewhere."

"But you like to bail me out, is that it? I make you feel protective, or... responsible? Brotherly?" She glanced up coquettishly.

"I feel a little like Austin in that field. I don't want to be your brother."

"And I'm not offering the lover position so...." She let it hang.

*****