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Hi." He said, hearing her voice, so familiar, yet so... unlike the last few times he'd spoken to her. This was the vibrant girl, the aliveness vibrating across the ocean miles. "There are people who are worried about you."

"So, they called you?" she hooted, "Wow! They must be really worried. Well, no wonder, I threw my phone in the Caribbean. I'm out of touch. How did you find me?"

"Your dad called me about fifteen minutes ago. I figured you out."

"You figured I took my kids and went on a cruise? Really? You're a mind reader now, Richard? You're psychic? A seer? Or do you have a crystal ball?"

"I triangulated the location of your phone, and... guessed."

"We're kind of going to Jamaica. There's a bunch of cute little islands on the way, and lots of.... Cuba to see. It's really fun. Wish you were here, all that." She said, still friendly.

"How long do you plan on being gone?" he knew he needed to be to the point, anything else would be against mission rules.

"I don't know. Some people get off and others get on at different ports. We don't always get off, but sometimes we do. Getting off is fun, and... expensive! Listen, what time is it there? I can call you back tonight, and, you know, explain, if you want... but right now...."

"It's very early in the a.m. Too early. You can call me back in a few hours. Do you have a cell?"

"Nah, but I can certainly get one, there's a lovely mall on board, and I saw a cell phone shack, Verizon, or Qwest.... Something like that, yeah. You want I should do that?" she still sounded breathless, and he had no way of knowing if she was sitting, or standing, or still playing herself at tennis.

"Are you okay?" he finally asked impatiently, his curiosity getting the best of him, and he leaned against the door, and sighed, knowing he was out of bounds now, and wishing he could have simply agreed to have her get a cell and at least call her dad and Michael. But he had to know for himself, the longing inside was too great, not just to know that she really was all right, but also to keep her on the line with him for just a few seconds longer.

"Om...." Her hesitation was telling. "Okay, I'll tell you. No, I'm not completely okay, I haven't been since you left. But I am okay in that I am functioning. I am alive and well, and keeping busy and active. What more do you want?" she did sound a little tiny bit defensive.

He grinned, his heart pumping furiously as it hadn't in months. "Well, I want to know what lives in the darkness." That comment was a surprise to them both, very intimate.

Her voice became less rushed, less out of breath, and there seemed to be less peripheral noise, as if she were sitting down out of the wind or something. "In the darkness?" she repeated, but not as if she didn't understand what he meant, just to give herself a little time. "Aren't you supposed to be on your mission?"

"I am on my mission. I'm entirely focused on my mission, and now that I've found you, yeah, I could just let you go, tell you to call your Dad and Michael, and I won't talk to you again until Mother's Day, but..."

She was quiet now. "I'm sorry, Richard. I wish they hadn't freaked out so bad. They shouldn't have involved you."

"It's okay. I am involved. We are involved. Right?"

"I'm nodding." She said gently. "Hearing your voice is weird. I still have hang ups with the mission rules thing."

"Me too. It's pretty ingrained. I feel like I'm cheating, and I don't like that feeling. Not to mention I also feel as if I am stealing something sweet from a bucket of homecoming happiness by talking to you right now, but I can't seem to make myself put the phone down."

He heard her little chuckle. "It's okay, Richard. I can fight the demons in the darkness now, you don't have to be worried."

"Then why did you run away?" he asked point blank.

"Because... well, actually.... Yeah... so.... The thing is... yeah... I om... put myself in a bad position. I went to Park City for the weekend, and I was going to go on up to Montana and see about the house there, how it's coming, see if I can speed things up any, you know, check it out. And Austin and Lisa were up at Park City too, but Lisa, pretty much, yeah, she can't stand me, she has always felt inferior or insecure around me, even though I don't care for Austin that way at all. I thought, no, I knew we had made that very clear, to each other, and to her, so I thought.... No, I knew I was no threat, but as usual, I don't always take into account other people's feelings. Dang it. So, I spent time doing what I enjoy doing, skiing with whoever happens to be on the slopes, the boys, for instance, and of course, Austin. Lisa chose not to hang out, her bad, not mine." She paused. "So she got pissed off and left. Bad move." Another pause, "...so there we were, just me and Austin and the kids. I should have left. I really should have seen it coming and headed it off, right? I should have known? Somehow amidst it all? I should have sensed it, right?"

She was getting really hissy hysterical, as if the more hysterical she got, the quieter she also got. Richard had to strain to hear her now, but his grip on the phone was so hard, and it was planted so firmly in his ear he couldn't miss it.

"So, I'm totally leaving, and he's acting totally weird, and then he totally.... Yeah, he kisses me, takes me completely off guard. And I slapped him as hard as I could. And he got mad. And I called him an asshole, and he got really mad. And yeah.... I left.... And it's probably a good thing for me to stay away from him."

Richard was laughing. It started somewhere deep inside, with a sense of furious rage that wanted to punch Austin in the face, and the next image... the very next image was of his own face... when she rejected him so forcefully, no 'blow it off' time for him..... vehement, she had wanted to leave, just leave, get away....

Which is what she had done.....

"Are you laughing at me?" she queried softly, incredulously.

"Yeah, a little, remembering when it was my face that felt the burn of your rejection after a first real kiss...."

Dead silence, he thought she'd disconnected.

"Trace?"

But he heard the little gasps of indrawn air as she snickered.

"Fact is, I wanted to leave this time, because I do feel a little responsible for his feelings, I guess he could have construed my coming up there as wanting to pursue a relationship with him, but I didn't.... I just really don't want him.... At all.... And I can live without him.... Like wipe him off my planet without a backward glance if I have to.... It's that simple. I didn't encourage him, and I don't want him. Not now and not ever. He shouldn't have taken advantage. I didn't encourage him at all."

"But he's Austin." Richard said, and his voice still had that laugh quality as he pictured her slapping his best friend's, stubborn, mocking face.

"Right and he thinks I can't resist him? I don't think so." She scowled. "He's like my... brother..."

"So, you care so little about him that you could just wipe him off your planet? Then why did you give in to your denial, and run away like this? Why freak everybody out so bad? Fact is, I don't believe you. I think you do care. I think you care so much its killing you inside."

Her hesitation was infinitesimal, her agreement hot on the heels of her initial denial. "I do care!" she cried, and he could hear the hurt in her voice, and he cringed. "I hate it that I hurt him!"

"You hurt him? You hurt him?" his laugh was an outburst.

"Well, what do you think?" she replied, outraged, and choking.

"I think he took advantage of you, I think he pushed a button that he had no right to push. I think... he had a hard time believing that you don't care about him that way. I think... I totally relate to him, I can understand his feelings one hundred percent. It's hard to be the guy that's rejected."

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