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Austin threw the dart and it hit close to the bulls eye, and then he lifted Steven to the chair his brother had just vacated and directed his hand. Tracy was standing close by, chatting with someone he didn't know, Jake directly behind her in this very public place. His eyes watchful. But other than the fact that they had the twins in their double stroller, and that always caused a certain amount of fascination, this outing didn't seem too bad. A few people had recognized them, but mostly they weren't where they were expected, so they weren't seen. Lisa had wandered over to window shop where the bowling alley slash theatre slash game rooms attached to the mall, she wasn't interested in being seen with Tracy right now, and Austin had been glued to her since they'd agreed to this Saturday afternoon visiting arrangement. The boys were cute, but not interested in Lisa at all, and didn't respond to her when their daddy was around anyway, they didn't know her, and they had a mommy figure, Tracy. Besides, Lisa couldn't tell them apart, and she always called them by the wrong name.

There was more than one dart board, a regular red, white and blue one with points the closer you hit to the center; several others, including a map of the United States. Austin watched Tracy out of the corner of his eye. Her hair was pulled back in a low pony tail, her skin was creamy, flawless, and very pale. Her brows were golden, pale, and her eyes were this brilliant blue that caused people to stare at her a few seconds longer than they might have otherwise. She was a small person, but was regaining her sexy curves. She'd lost them for awhile during her mourning period, but her behind was fascinating to him at the moment, especially when she cocked a hip and hefted one of the girls. Even though they were in sunny southern California, she wore a long sleeved blouse and a vest, but she seemed so normal, not like a celebrity at all. But that was her allure, he realized, she was just the girl next door.

She had left off talking to her fan, after signing something from the guys wallet, and had returned to watching him throw darts. A few seconds after Kelly's last throw, she stopped them and asked if she could throw one. Then her eyes took on a peculiar glint, and she called all the boys over to her. She knelt in front of them and they waited in lively anticipation of her next idea, knowing by now that, Momma Tracy always came up with cool ideas.

She glanced up at Austin. "I want to move out of So. Cal." She said softly.

A look of concern crossed his face. It hadn't been that long since she'd got there and got settled. "Where do you want to go?" he asked her.

She shrugged. "I want a home base, someplace permanent. Alaska is too far, and is more like a... a summer vacation place. I want to go there, like every year, like we talked about...." Her voice caught at the thoughts that the last time they'd talked about it, there had been two more of them.... Richard and..... Raine. A cloud passed through her eyes, causing them to mist and her to stubbornly look away into the light from the glass doors twenty yards away.

Austin stroked her back in understanding. "Yeah, I remember the conversation." He agreed and felt that same tightening at the shared memory.

"So...." She took a deep breath and then when the choking barrier wouldn't budge, she cleared her throat. "I'm going solo." She managed.

Austin's eye brows drew together in another customary frown. "Isn't that a little.... Hard? Under the circumstances, that is?"

She glanced back out the windows, squinting. "I have to. I- I- It's a release for me, the performing, or something. Michael and Armani think it would be best."

"So why do you have to move far away? Why can't this be your home base?"

"You know why. Christopher told you about the teasing."

"We'll find another school, a more private school."

"No...." she paused. "I- I've been thinking about this, actually praying about it, and I think I need to move, and buy a lot of land and build a... a...."

Austin's eyes rounded and he stared at her hard. A sort of weird understanding and telepathy seemed to insinuate itself in his thoughts. "Let's go sit down. Come on kids, want some cotton candy?"

Tracy pushed the stroller towards the snack bar and gathered the boys. "Austin, no cotton candy, it's like poison, and Kelly and Daniel have colds."

"Cotton candy isn't poison, Miss regenerative herbal lady. Here kids, want some candy?"

"Austin! You're not the one up with them all night."

"I'll come stay up then tonight... it's worth it." He bought the sticks of swirling cotton and handed them to the boys who gleefully gave Tracy saucy looks meant to convey their sudden respect for their father.

The twins grabbed for the feathery stuff in Austin's hands and he absently gave them pinches of it, as Tracy tried, just as absently to take it away.

"Listen, I picture us in a sort of community. Like with an air strip to get to it easy access, so that we can...."

"We, as in you and me?" he asked, blue eyes meeting hers.

"Um hm." She took the pinch he had given Melia, and pinched it even smaller and ate the half she took away. "You'd have your place with Lisa, and I'd have mine, and we could have a studio there, and stables, and a... a school...."

"A homeschool?"

"Maybe.... But it could just be a smaller, private school, with.... With.... Maybe a boarding school for celebrity's children.... Or something.... I'm not sure, but I can see it in my mind."

He considered her idea, and then shrugged. "Your mom could have her own place."

She nodded. "And maybe dad and Shanna too. So they could come visit."

"I'd keep the place in Malibu..."

"Oh, definitely, we do a lot of business here. I'd keep my beach place too. "

"And ParkCity?"

She pinched a piece off the bite he'd given Megan, and popped it into her mouth. "I have ideas for Park City." She agreed.

"Ideas?"

"Yeah, like since Michael is based out of SaltLake.... I was thinking of having a studio there as well.... And this alternate birthing center I'm thinking of.... It's already in the works...."

"Are you sure you see us in separate places?" he said then, very low, an eye on Lisa, still shopping, still bored.

Tracy's eyes shot to Lisa as well. She swallowed forcefully. Yeah, there had been moments when she'd wondered recently about Austin. But there were even more moments when those thoughts were not about him with her, but close by. He had to be in the picture for her to keep the boys close, and she really loved the boys. It was hard now to imagine her life without them. Again, she found her self in a unique position to want children that weren't hers, and be willing to take their father.... No.... No! she shook herself.

"I- I know it's.... it might be.... You know... what you once might have wanted.... But...."

His gaze was intent. "Trace, if there's even a remote chance for us...." He took a deep breath. "I think we should explore it."

Her eyes darted back to Lisa, then to the children who might have picked that moment to relieve some of the immediate tension she was feeling by pitching a fit about something, but none did, and Austin remained intently focused on her. "I don't know." She said, feeling weirdly dizzy inside.

He leaned closer so he could speak quietly without being overheard. "You know there's been chemistry from the start." He said softly, his voice low and very sexy. Tracy shivered. "It's just that there was always the Raine chemistry, and the Richard chemistry, and you wouldn't let us explore who we are without them."

"Lisa...." She whispered.

"Yeah, there's Lisa to think of, but if there's even a chance."

"The problem is, that even if I did feel something, and I'm free, I would know that you're not."

He sat back and folded his arms across his chest. Tracy sensed that he'd had a thought of some importance, and she didn't sense that he was getting her message loud and clear. She wasn't ready..... or was she? She shook herself. As quickly as the wonder had come, the wonder about what if.... She'd tamped it down with eerie pain wracked memories and held it firmly with a new found iron clad will. Not ready. Not ready.

Austin watched her. Was it possible he'd misread her these last several years? He'd thought himself relegated to that favored position of Brother, even the couple of times now that they'd kissed onstage and it had seemed very provocative, afterwards she'd acted like it was nothing, and he was left to wonder about her affect on him, alone.

"Okay then." He said, seeming to come to a conclusion.

"What?"

"Nothing. Let's go."

"No, wait, what's okay then? What are you thinking?"

"I'm thinking it's time to go. Come on boys, let's go wash up first." He stood and took two little pairs of willing hands, and ushered them toward the bathrooms.

Tracy watched him, short blonde hair, wide shoulders, tapered waist, compact butt, sexy walk. And he was still just Austin, a friend.... A close friend.... A very close friend.... Could there be more? She'd thought that once a long, long time ago, but only for a short time..... he was right, there had been more between her and Raine.... And.... And....

Don't go here, she thought. She squeezed her eyes shut to block out the images, but powerfully a vision presented itself . She was at Coral Crandall's, holding Danny in her arms, she could feel the baby weight of him, the sudden awareness that no one could take him away. Casey was dead. And across the room, arms folded, eyes glued to hers.... Dark eyes.... Knowing.... Always knowing....

Tears came....she squeezed her eyes shut even further. Even her marriage to Raine had not changed the knowing..... it was always there between them.

God works through even our decisions.... For our ways are not His ways.... And he seeth not as man seeth.... It was his voice in her head.....discovery....

She got up, realizing that one of the darts from the dart board had found its way into Megan's hand . "Let Mommy put that back, honey." She took it away and the child gave her one startled shriek, and then reached for her binky.

Tracy pushed the stroller back over to the dart boards and stood far enough away to throw it herself. The North American Map loomed ahead and she tossed the dart through blurred vision, wiping at her eyes as she did. Surprisingly it stuck. She left the stroller to go closer and examine where the dart had landed. Near the top of the map, closer to the left as she faced it. She went right up to it.

"Hey momma, whatcha looking at?" Austin, joined by Lisa and the children. It was time to go.

He walked right up to her and peered intently at the spot where the dart had stuck. "What are you thinking?" he gave her that curious grin he always had, noted the tears and ran a comforting hand across her shoulder to rest there, taking the slight build, seeing the camera's flashing around them as he did, knowing it was time to leave... time to get out of this public place....

"Glacier National Park." She said.

"You can't live in a National Park."

"I know. But maybe around there someplace.... It's actually closer to this lake, FlatheadLake...."

"You can't live on a lake...."

"I could buy a houseboat."

He turned her away, knowing she'd said the name of the place and would now go home and research it out, and have a place picked out by morning. He knew it as sure as he thought he knew her.... Would he ever get to be the one to know her, and share it with her as well?

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