The call didn't come for over twenty-four hours, and it came for him at five in the morning when he and Elder Greene were just contemplating getting up for study and showers. They had twin beds in one room, and the phone was on the stand between the beds. Elder Greene, who was a very light sleeper heard it first. He picked it up and saw the name on the phone and was sorely tempted to answer it and hear that famous voice for himself, but he didn't. He woke Richard, who was almost awake anyway.

"It's for you." He said and then got up and went into their bathroom to give Richard some privacy.

"Hey." He said softly into the phone, sitting up and running a hand through his hair, stretching.

"Did I wake you up?" Her voice was sweet, soft, melodious. She was okay! She'd gotten through it whole and alive! His lips trembled and he felt a sudden rush of pressure behind his eyes and wondered at the intensity of his emotion.

"No, not really. I'm up now. How are you?"

"I'm okay. I'm in the hospital, but they came and took the IV out and let all the kids come in. I'm kinda cornered right now. It's a king size bed in one of the birthing rooms to handle all of us. Mom's next to me, with the twins between us, and Steven is glued to my other side, with Danny across my head, and Chris and Kelly by my feet all wrapped in the blanket. I can't move."

"Good job, little momma." He said and pictured her. "You want to tell me what happened?"

Her laugh on the other end of the phone was more of a snicker. "I got myself in trouble. I let Michael get to me, he was bugging me about performing and dating and all that, and I got mad and started a build."

"It was a hostility build?"

"No, not exactly. But then in a fit of anger, I asked Greg on a date, and then after practice took him up to the office and he thought I wanted to.... Um hm hm... and he kissed me and I lost it."

"He kissed you?"

"Yeah.... Oh Richard, I can't describe how I felt. It was the most awful, horrible... chaotic feeling. Like I was betraying something beautiful, killing it.... I felt like a murderer."

"I'm not following you, baby."

"Well, I didn't know he was going to kiss me. I didn't want him to kiss me and the hostility in me just built up right then and I felt terrible inside."

"Was it memories?"

"It was the darkness, Richard. It was what lives in the darkness."

"What?"

"Oh, I don't know. That's stupid. But sometimes I feel like something is living in the darkness with me. Sometimes it feels like something is scary in the darkness and sometimes it's just something hiding. Like something soft and sweet wanting to come out and... and be acknowledged. But I can't seem to grasp it. It's elusive. Like my music, it's so elusive."

What was intriguing was that he thought he was following her now. A kind of synergy that splayed the continents between them and encompassed them. "Tracy, these feelings, you feel them often?"

"No. I keep them at bay most of the time. I surf every day Richard, I try and ground out. But this thing built so fast."

"Yeah, I wondered if it could get to you that fast."

"It wasn't the kiss, and it wasn't Greg. I just got mad at Michael. It was dumb. He's just trying to help me."

"But the kiss was a catalyst?"

"Om, I guess so. I had a bunch of thoughts."

"About other kisses?"

"Yeah, like in giving that kiss away it was closing the door on...." She was crying.

"Shhhhh..... it's okay. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense, Trace, that is probably a reasonable explanation. Having those thoughts while on a hostility build. It makes sense. Forewarned is forearmed. Now you know, and you can guard against getting into similar situations in the future. Is—is Greg okay?"

"Yeah, he left before it...." She was still crying.

"What is it honey?"

"I can't tell you."

"You can tell me anything, you know that, nothing phases me."

"I think, not this...."

He stopped, laid back and let his mind focus entirely on her. He pictured her again, this time surrounded on a bed in a hospital room by her mother and six children. No make up, hair pulled back, it would have been too crazy with that many occupants, she'd have it in a.... braid. Her eyes were bright, now, in thought and relief. He could sense her relief, the build had scared her. She was partly sitting up, and had a hand softly caressing the little head at her side. She'd been thinking before she called, even thinking of not calling, but it would have been too weird not to call. He'd known she would. He had to hear the outcome.... Had to hear it from her. But suddenly he knew what it was and beneath the seriousness of the conversation, he felt a small smile creep in.

He could have let it go, but somewhere deep inside the need for that kind of reassurance was overwhelming.

"Was it because the kiss you felt you were betraying wasn't Raine's?"

He heard her short gasp and the smile became bigger. He waited.

"Richard." She finally said and her voice was a caress. Everything in him responded.

"It's okay, honey. It's okay."

"I can't...."

"Raine will always be a part of us, baby. Always. You don't have to give him up to know you can move on with your life. You've let yourself begin to move on with a lot of other aspects, sweetheart, its okay to start moving ahead with this...."

"Richard." She said again, and there were more than words in her voice.

"Sometimes what's not said is better than what could be said." He felt his whole body tensing with the desire for it to be said, and the slight disappointment in realizing that it wouldn't be said, not now.... Not this time.

"We were at Austin's.... in the kitchen....." Her voice was a mere whisper, he was afraid he couldn't hear her, and then afraid that he could....."I was on the counter, and we were playing with fire....and with one kiss.... Our soul's melded. It was like....a discovery, and a....a revelation..... or a prophecy being fulfilled."

He couldn't speak. There were no appropriate words. Acknowledgement was there, the validation, the realization....

The only words he could say, he couldn't. Not right now. In another year, yeah. but she wasn't asking for it either. She was simply believing--reliving--discovering for herself what he had known all along.

"I—I guess they took me to the hospital, after I passed out." She said and her voice was stronger, putting the other ideas aside for later. He knew that's how she would do it. She didn't mind discovering things with him, but she sometimes needed to digest it on her own. "Then Austin came and diffused me, and then mom brought the kids and guess what? Steven is a ground. Yeah, he's a very strong ground, like you. And his touch was innocent and therefore he easily took what was left, like a residual head ache and now he's sleeping right next to me, and it's okay...."

"How long are they going to keep you?"

"I'll go home when the kids wake up, but I have to go see Armani today, and set up a more controlled trigger release, like I had before. We talked last night, about what happened, and he wants me to perform also, he says Michael is right, and that I do have a sort of release... it's a different kind of energy, but it's a part of me. I don't want to, but I might have to. This life has sort of chosen me, you know?"

"It's a good life, baby. Nothing wrong with that. I need it too."

"Yeah. I've worked with you.... I know you do." Again that unspoken thing leaped up like a cloud ready to downpour on them. Bittersweet with anticipation. "Richard, I just had to call and say thanks. I didn't even know I was calling, but it was so... natural... I've called you so many times when things were tough, but I swear Richard, I am trying to go it on my own. I need this... I really do."

"There will come a time when you won't need that feeling of independence and you'll...."

"Acknowledge that I need...."

"That we all are dependent...."

She sensed where he was going with it. "A higher source.... The Lord."

"Yeah." He breathed.

"He gives us each other and makes us...dependent on each other, so that we will understand the relationship between himself and us....."

"A covenant relationship... the only way, the only power strong enough to keep us together....."

She was silent.... This was very intimate.

"I miss you." He said simply. "I read your letters over and over."

She laughed. "I read yours too. That's funny."

"I better go see what Elder Greene is up to."

"Okay. Thanks, Richard."

*****